Does finding myself really matter at this point in time?

i know age may be a factor, but one of the best things i did for me and my recovery from mental illness was coming out as trans and starting my transition. i wasn’t able see clearly before because i was trying to fix someone that didn’t actually exist. i had to let her go and be the man that i am today. i feel like it would be good to maybe try and get to know the woman inside of you. but whenever you’re ready. i had to come out to myself first and really get to know the real me before i could share that with anyone else.

@kingkierantyler
Thank you.
I am only concerned with coming out to myself whenever I figure that part out. I have no friends or family to come out to. As far as everyone else is concerned it's none of their business.
I have too many issues too try and get a handle on and I doubt that I will see any positive progress on much of anything before I die.
sorry I kind of strayed a little

@kingkierantyler thank you for your kind words, my first response was not a good response. I am sorry for that. I am struggling with so much, like everyone else here. I am not good with emotions and I am not a positive person. I am trying to be a better person but I probably never going to reach the level of those here. Everyone here seems to have hope and compassion on a level I will never reach. But I am thankful for all of you.

Thank you again and please accept my apology for my first response.

I don’t think who I am on the inside matters anymore. They are trapped and don’t have a chance of being found. Society proves it only matters what’s on the outside. So that is who I shall continue to be.

It would be something if I (like so many others) could openly live as we feel without shame, without fear, without judgement and hate, now being feared?

I will be long gone before society proves that true acceptance and respect are given to all. As long as the future holds open arms for all then giving up on that dream is ok.

There are a lot of things that don’t matter and I am one of them.

@Iamwhoiamwhoami

I understand that you're feeling apprehensive about the future and uncertain about what lies ahead. It's completely normal to feel this way, and I want you to know that you're not alone.

The future can feel overwhelming and uncertain, but it's important to remember that you have the power to shape your own path. It's okay to not have everything figured out right now - life is a journey, and we all go through different stages of growth and change.

It's important to take things one step at a time and to focus on the present moment. Try not to get too caught up in the what-ifs and the unknowns. Instead, focus on what you can control right now and take small steps towards your goals.

Remember that it's okay to ask for help and to lean on others for support. You don't have to go through life alone, and there are people who care about you and want to see you succeed.

Lastly, I want to remind you that it's okay to make mistakes and to learn from them. Life is a journey full of ups and downs, and every experience is an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.

Take a deep breath, and know that everything will be okay. You're strong, capable, and resilient. Trust in yourself and your abilities, and don't be afraid to reach for the stars.

JustMeForYou

Trigger warning—abuse physical/sexual  

Somehow my latest thought I caught was on this part of me that I have given up on. Maybe I am just more messed up than I thought. Is the being trans and other related things just something my screwed up brain has conjured up? I have so many mental struggles that maybe that is related to that. 

Maybe one of the slaps to the head as a kid triggered something in me to make me think I was that way. Maybe the being molested by that same individual triggered win me to make me think I was that way. 

Maybe it is just another example of my messed up brain. 

The doctors office hands me questionnaire forms at every visit, one of them asks new age questions regarding gender , pronouns, etc. I don’t know how to answer them without having to explain what I don’t understand myself. Plus that opens a can of worms. I don’t have the strength to deal with everything else much less that. 

@Iamwhoiamwhoami I happened upon this thread by accident tonight, but found myself really relating with your words. I don’t know exactly what you’re struggling with, I’m still figuring out exactly what I’m struggling with. I just overwhelmingly want to give you a hug and tell you everything is going to be alright, to wrap you in a protective bubble so you don’t have to hurt anymore. I can tell you’ve been through a lot. I can tell you’re a thoughtful perceptive person. I know this world isn’t going to give us everything we long for or should have had, but I hope you will be able to feel your own power again. I hope you can live in a way that makes you happy, even if you figure that out moment by moment. You deserve good. You are good.

@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas

   Thank you for reaching out.

Thank you