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what are your pronouns and chosen name??

Listeningsarinn June 17th, 2021

Happy pride month awesome lgbtq+ community!

If comfortable share with me in replies <3
What are your pronouns and your preferred name?? How do you identify??
What makes pronouns and chosen names such an important context is in fact, that how you are referred to is not only one of the hugest things, giving a person sense of identity and comes as a way of expressing who they truly are, but also others saying it and using it in daily conversations is a way of showing acceptance and acknowledgment of one’s identity by people around them
A way of experiencing one’s true self and having it seen and validated
With that said, being referred to with wrong pronouns or dead names (the name assigned at birth that does not fit in with the gender identity one identifies with) can come as extremely hurtful, especially if a person is out and is being referred to intentionally in a wrong way
Even as a closeted Trans or non-binary person being referred to in a wrong way can be a trigger for more extreme social and mental dysphoria and cause a sense of being invalidated or being unseen as who they are, the very known feeling of being in the wrong body, or carrying a heavy weight of wrong identity
~ if someone uses more than one pronouns, using either of those is okay but it's usually preffered to switch between the chosen pronouns, for example for a friend of mine using she/they prounouns, i'd go like, "they came to my place and when i asked them about their kid, she said..."
A reminder that who you are, and how you view your identity and yourself is completely valid, accepted and enough exactly the way you are
~ If someone misgenders you:
Don’t be afraid of correcting them, if the idea of correcting people makes you uncomfortable you can make it easier for yourself by practicing with your reflection in the mirror or a friend/family member you are out to
You can also ask someone you are out to, to help you with correcting people either by telling them upfront or using the right pronouns in front of them
As an ally you need to know that:
~ asking is better than mistaking, please do not “assume” one’s pronouns by their clothes, or their sexual body parts
it’s always okay to ask a person what pronouns they use or, how would they like you to call them, most people will be happy to have you ask and respect their answer keeping it in mind in future conversation
~ if asking is not possible for you in a given situation, it’s safe to use they/them pronouns until you can be sure, in the meanwhile, listen for people close to them referring to the person
~ a person’s “real” name is their chosen name and the way they identify is their “only gender”, asking for birth names and gender assigned at birth is a rude and inappropriate act
~ Do not out a person, unless they are asking you to help with coming out
~ do not push your idea of a label someone has chosen on them, every one’s experience is unique and that is completely okay and won’t make their experience any less real
~ you may make mistakes and misgender the person at times which is completely okay and normal, humans make mistakes, if you misgender someone:

  • Don’t argue or take it badly if they or someone else corrects you
  • Either If you are corrected by someone or you notice your mistake yourself, don’t make a big deal of it, that can make it uncomfy both for you and the person you misgendered
  • Apologize briefly, correct yourself and move on trying to be more careful in the rest of conversation
more to come on dysphoria and how to cope with it!
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Hailee1 June 25th, 2021

@Listeningsarinn

great post sarinn! thanks for educating everyone 🏳‍🌈🧡

oliver1they1he June 26th, 2021

uh hi my name is Oliver or oli, my pronouns are they/he im a pansexual demiboy

compassionatecrane1476 June 27th, 2021

@Listeningsarinn
Im bigender and still question my sexuality and gender overall. My pronouns are she/her and I don't really have a name I gave myself. I go by my given name and my art name that I made myself but I don't tell many it since many of my friends are rude to me, well at least the ones I go to school with.

JustLondon June 27th, 2021

I go by London on this site. I have thought about changing it in real life but it seems like it would be a lot of trouble to call creditors, change my diplomas and all of that so I just use my birth name in real life. I identify as somewhere in between male and female, which I suppose is Agender. Idk in the old days I was just called a tomboy and life was much simpler then. I am lesbian. Though I have had periods in my life where I felt make identified on the inside and wondered if really I was a straight male. I'm also going through menopause so that doesn't help with my self image as a woman. I like being flexible and fluid because it allows me the freedom to just be me, whatever I'm feeling in any given moment

1 reply
JarOfJupiter October 11th, 2021

@JustLondon

Chosen Name: Jupiter

Pronouns: They/Them!

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DylanletterR June 28th, 2021

My chosen name is Dylan James R, and I go by he/him pronouns!

alexpowers1128 June 28th, 2021

I'm A (but i will respond to Alex) and I go by they/she/xem/it pronouns!

Luckyix June 29th, 2021

My name is Oliver (or Ollie) and my pronouns are he/him. My name came from the masculinized version of my dead name and Ollie is just a gender neutral nickname. I identify as a trans man and also as pansexual! I will date anyone and I have no preference at all in looks or gender : )

Crosseyedkitten June 29th, 2021

Im not sure whether i want to be a girl or a boy :(

1 reply
Jamieloko October 5th, 2021

@Crosseyedkitten don't press your self, just relax and feel free to decide whenever you want

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Riversg0th June 29th, 2021

My names River and I use they/them pronouns I'm nonbinary and bisexual!

strawberryfern777 June 30th, 2021

my name is mercuri :) its very personal to me and I love it. pronouns are they/them!! although i went by xe/xem for a while ive just been using they/them since I was young and it fits best