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PL 101: Systems vs. Goals (Discussion 4)

GlenM June 29th, 2020

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Hello Leadership Crew!

Welcome to our 4th discussion in this first course. In todays discussion, we will be talking about systems vs. goals.

To start, please read this post here  and watch this video.

The basic argument here is that having a system is better than having a goal. A system is a way of behaving that helps you move towards accomplishing something. A goal is usually and end state that happens after you have accomplished something. I think eating healthy is a good example. A goal might be to lose 10 pounds. In this case, you feel kind of bad about yourself until you hit that goal; and then, once you hit it, you kind of lose the purpose because the goal has been reached. If you relapse and gain wait again, then you fall back into feeling bad about yourself again. Contrast this with a system of eating healthy. A system might include things like: having a big glass of water prior to each meal; eating a lot of fruits, vegetables, and nuts; not eating after 9pm; and/or doing some level of intermittent fasting. You wouldnt integrate all of these new healthy eating behaviors at once. Instead, youd gradually introduce one and then another and then another over whatever period of time makes sense. The system enables you to continuously get healthier and healthier. You will eventually reach the goal, but itll be the byproduct of eating healthy.

Another example might be education. I dont really care all that much about grades for my kids. I mostly want them to learn and enjoy learning. We talk about what they learn, we draw things, they make their own educational videos, they explain things to me in their own words etc. I want them to have a system of learning and refining their perspective on things. If they have this system, then having good grades will be a natural result of enjoying learning.

This also has implications for 7 Cups as well. We might have goals of having a certain amount of group support messages or 1:1 messages. Those are fine goals to have, but we mostly want to create a system of support where people care for one another and then the natural result is an increased number of messages. Or, zooming back, think about this leadership development program. We could have an arbitrary goal of training a certain number of new leaders to serve our community; or we can co-create a system - this leadership development program - that helps people become leaders. The natural consequence of the program will be a higher number of trained, competent, and strong leaders that can better support our community. Â

What is a key system that you need to set up in your life to help you succeed? What are 3 behaviors you can implement to help you gradually grow that new system in your life?

After fulfilling the requirements of this post, please check out the next post here! You must take part in the brainstorming/activities given in all of these posts to successfully complete the program.


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gentleFox20 June 1st, 2022

@GlenM

What is a key system that you need to set up in your life to help you succeed? What are 3 behaviors you can implement to help you gradually grow that new system in your life?

The key system I need to set up is regarding my own mental health and social life. I've had many goals and found them hard to reach but if I have a system of trying to enjoy life and build connections where I can then there is room for progress and gratitude along the way.

1. Trust myself more - if something feels overwhelming or too hard then it's ok to rest or bow out.

2. Focus my attention outwards instead of inwards - this way I can increase opportunities to connect with others

3. Do things that bring me joy everyday

1 reply
audienta June 22nd, 2022

@gentleFox20

I think we have some things in common. I also have want to implement the behaviours of trusting and listening to myself and doing stuff that makes me feel well! I wish you all the best with establishing your new system!

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Glue June 13th, 2022

@GlenM

I need to implement a system for celebrating accomplishments. I find it difficult to attribute my accomplishments to myself, especially when I have to sit down with others and hear so many compliments. The emotions become unmanageable at times. The 3 behaviors I can implement to gradually grow that system into my life are: (1) organizing a specific moment to celebrate so that I can feel like some contexts make celebration appropriate, (2) asking people to celebrate with me so I am exposed to their compliments, and (3), sitting with the emotions that come with that celebration and slowly accepting compliments and celebration more gracefully, as a natural part of life.

1 reply
audienta June 22nd, 2022

@Glue

Wow, that's really an important system that I wouldn't' have thought of but now that I read it, I think I should work on that too. Thank you for this new thought!

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Kindhumanity June 15th, 2022

A key system to be set up in life is a support system so you have someone to talk to and listen to you, it's much harder to succeed without someone being there supporting you and believing in you, one behavior could be implementing active listening skills to normal life, and that could strengthen relationships and result in a better support system, secondly another behavior could be setting reasonable goals. lastly a behavior could also include continued learning, it's likely for you to succeed as you gain more knowledge and experience with something.

1 reply
audienta June 22nd, 2022

@Kindhumanity

That's very true, a good support system is so important for all of us, and active listening is a great skill to build relationships. I wish you all the best!

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audienta June 22nd, 2022

@GlenM

I tend to live in extremes - either I spend all my energy on succeeding or I can't do anything since my body or psyche has crashed. What I need to establish is a regulation of working and doing stuff that costs energy and self-care actions and pauses. This will hopefully help me to consistently improve in all the areas of my life without crashing.

Three behaviours that I'd like to implement to establish this system are

  1. Listening to my body and intuition and taking actions accordingly, even if that means that I can't do what I had planned.
  2. Making sure that I take at least one self-care action a day.
  3. Following my sleep schedule.

1 reply
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LoveTracker June 28th, 2022

@GlenM

The system I want to keep continuing will be "Less Attachments , Less Expectations" . So far I have been successful in going by this system. Due to many sour experiences, life taught me this lesson. And after coming here seeing these posts, I realized that it has now become part of me or part of my system. So yes that's the system I need to keep nurturing for long.

The Three things for improvement would be:

1. To not take decisions quickly. Though I haven't had many issues with this present behavior. I have felt many a times, if I would have taken lil time and then taken decision it would have come even better.

2. Anger- I get angry super fast and cools down even faster. Though only in and around family. But even if its for seconds, my whole body reacts different which is unhealthy . So yes, need to keep it down.

3. To react same time- as point 1, I have this habit of reacting to any messages or calls esp. from office colleagues- I react the very same moment. For Ex- i may have done all the tasks, or may have done my part of the job 100%, However suddenly I get calls from peers or superiors asking the same, this time I react and most of the time in a harsh way. Thank God, still my job is not at risk. But yes, I feel I need to cool down a bit before any reactions.

Thanks for this thread, this really helps/reminds me of the issues I should be looking to change.

CalmWaves3939 June 29th, 2022

@GlenM

What is a key system that you need to set up in your life to help you succeed? What are 3 behaviours you can implement to help you gradually grow that new system in your life?

- A key system I need to set up is time management! I am on a journey to be diagnosed with ADHD so I get distracted very easily! So I think by managing my time I will be able to complete tasks more efficiently.

-3 Things I can do to make this system possible are: outlining my priorities, removing distractions and taking allocated breaks.

Outlining priorities will help me plan my most important activities first so I can plan my day around them. Removing distractions can help me stay concentrated so I don't drift off and lose track of focus. By providing myself with allocated breaks I can stop myself from being burned out. Breaks can also help provide me with joy if I am not enjoying what I have to do. It can help me look at what I am doing from a different perspective.

1 reply
WarmLightXO July 10th, 2022

@CalmWaves3939

I love this! Might I suggest this time management course? <3

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kenzolena July 1st, 2022

What is a key system that you need to set up in your life to help you succeed? What are 3 behaviors you can implement to help you gradually grow that new system in your life?

For me it would be to also take some me time, I love helping people and sometimes I forget myself in the proces, in those moments I think on how to help people and even if it means to be online got over 6 hours I will do that, but if I don’t take care of myself and sometimes take time off the app I won’t be able to help others.

The three things i would like to improve myself on would be:

  1. Learn when to take breaks so I can prevent a burn out and that I can continue to help people effectively.
  2. To know what I can handle as a listener and to set up my own boundaries in a chat or general.
  3. To do some more research and trainings about some topics, so I will be able to understand and give better support to a person in need.

Much love for everyone💜

1 reply
WarmLightXO July 10th, 2022

@kenzolena

Oooooh love this! And yes, self-care is keeeyyyyy <3

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magicalOcean594 July 5th, 2022

@GlenM


what is a key system you need to set up in your life to help you succeed?
setting a better parenting system for children

what are three behaviors you can implement in your life to help you gradually grow ?
1) not setting guidelines or goals for myself
2)not feeling like i have to get to one goal specifically
3)create my own system to work with them, lets say for the day make a list to work on instead of setting high expectations and feeling failed. expectations are overrated. expect less,

1 reply
WarmLightXO July 10th, 2022

@magicalOcean594

"not feeling like i have to get to one goal specifically," love it

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WarmLightXO July 10th, 2022

What is a key system that you need to set up in your life to help you succeed? What are 3 behaviors you can implement to help you gradually grow that new system in your life?

I really enjoyed reading this! A system at this point in my life is studying rather than having goals for get good grades. Three behaviors might be making time to study, having a routine, and considering it important <3

1 reply
SparklingSeashells July 11th, 2022

@WarmLightXO

That sounds great! I think it is so easy to focus on grades, especially when that seems to be so drilled into us by others...

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SparklingSeashells July 11th, 2022

@GlenM

I may be about to muddle up systems and goals 😛

I think I work well with goals as things feel more achievable if I set them correctly. So the system I would like to set up in life to help me succeed is writing a list of the steps I need to take in order to get somewhere... Sometimes to a goal. I find sometimes I'll lose track and sight if tbe aim, and the reason why I want to get somewhere.

3 behaviours that I can implement to help me gradually grow that new system into my life... Not losing faith if things don't go smoothly. I find I am so easily disheartened. Remembering my values and beliefs, not losing sight of who I am whilst trying to get somewhere. I will remove the pressure I put on myself to be perfect, and try to ignore the unhelpful pressure from others, all in all being a bit kinder and respecting my abilities whilst still doing everything to the best of my ability. Balance 😀