Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #9) Passive-Aggressive Communication
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Healthy communication is key!
Questions:
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Activity: Please reply to 3 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
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@Heather225
5 signs of passive agression:
The silent treatment
Subtle insults
Procrastinating on Purpose
Sabotage
Keeping Score
One example i have been through?
Keeping scores
Why is it bad for a community?
It damages the most vital pillar upon which a good community stands on i.e Trust. It damages the communication and it gives rise to toxicity in a community. It will slowly eradicate the goodness and warmth present among people.
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
The silent treatment, subtle insults, procastinating on purpose, sabotage and keeping scores.
subtle insults.
passive-agressive behaviour damages trust and respect in the community. It is a form of subtle and covert manipulation as it is often meant to get other to do something or to stop doing something.
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication? 1. Silent Treatment ļæ½ 2. Subtle insults 3. Procastinating on purpose 4. Sabotage 5. Keeping Score What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life? I have experienced all but more prominently during childhood. Silent treatment is most common for me and i still it from time to time but doesnt really work well because they just get more mad. Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community? passive-aggressive behavior is so harmful and toxic is because the behavior is so indirect you may think the problem is with you. It destroys trust.
@positiveTurtles
I'm glad that you realize that passive aggressiveness is toxic.
Questions:
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
1. Silent Treatment. Stop responding to someone and shut them out. To let you know that you are still a problem.
2. Subtle Treatment. You never really know when it is intended as an insult since it's subtle, a lot of sarcasm is used for the same. They confuse people and undermine their confidence, especially when there's a power imbalance.
3. Procrastinating on purpose. You asked someone to do something, remind them again and again yet they never do it. It can be a power move to show one person is more in control over your schedule.
4. Sabotage. Deliberately mess things up for another person.
5. Keeping Scores. Some people keep track of the favours they do for you. If you fail to do something for them, they will then try to pay it back by failing to do something you asked. It's a very give and take relationship, quite extreme where there is no understanding.
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
I have personally experienced silent treatment a lot in my life and in interpersonal relationships. I have also been on the receiving end of keeping score.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Passive aggression is damaging to our community because it hinders open communication and in long term breeds resentment for each other. A community thrives on being able to communicate with each other. If you really do have any problems with someone, it is best to use conflict resolution. Also, if a person is doing these things directed at you. It is best to not give in. This is something I have picked up from a post I read somewhere. If someone tries to guilt-trip you, stand tall and just don't give in to them and just "accept" whatever they say to you. Passive-aggressive people (though not at fault) can sometimes make things worse for all the people involved. I am one of them, I will admit but I am trying my best to work on it.
You can't give your life more time, so give the time you have, more life.
@lueurspace
Glad to see you againš
And I am so sorry to hear that you have experienced silent treatment. I have experienced that too often but I never realized that it's one of the signs of passive aggression. BTW I am totally agree with your last answer. Communication would get effect with this.
@lueurspace Very well thought out answer !
@Heather225
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
The silent treatment
Subtle insults
Purposely procrastinating
Sabotage
Keeping score
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
People keeping score. They are more interested in scores when those are the only things promoted. 7cups is full of stats. Leadership is about taking lead, not having having statistics and badges.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community? It is very toxic because people are all in the rat race for positions. They end up ximls with each other and being jealous and envious instead of working together. This really lowers a person's self-value and self-worth. My idea is not to chase these opportunities. They will come to you as long as you work on yourself, invest in yourself and not sell yourself short. You need to show what you are capable of though. That opportunity is always available to you. No need to wait around and worry about a position.
@peacefulIris56
*competing (unhealthy competition)
@peacefulIris56
Good to see you again š
You have written very well and I agree with you ā¤
@LovetoGod Thank you. I am glad that you are able to see and acknowledge these things. This helps you tremendously in your leadership and career path.
@peacefulIris56
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
1. The silent treatment (deliberately stop responding)
2. Subtle insults (make sarcastic comments)
3. Procrastinating on Purpose (deliberate delaying to hurt the person)
4. Sabotage (deliberately messing something up)
5. Keeping Score (keep track of favors)
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
I am not not able to recall any clear incidence of it presently. But I can well imagine the passive-aggressive behavior being played out by someone. The intention is to hurt, or convey your disinterest, in indirect ways.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
It hurts the other. And when hurt exists, kindness cannot. And without kindness, no community can flourish. If one is unwilling or needs space any time from any person, they should communicate it clearly to the person (who direly needs you/ expects things from you)- "I am not feeling too well (or I am occupied), thus won't be available."
Now that I am speaking about it, I realise I have given silent treatments so many times to convey my disinterest. While my intention is never to hurt, yet I realise my this behaviour must have bothered them. I'd look to replace it with clear communication about my unavailability.
@Fristo
You have explained answers so well !!
And that's absolutely fine. No one is perfect. We all makes mistakes. And good to know that you have accepted it that shows your honesty ā¤
@Heather225
1. What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
1) The silent treatment
2) Subtle insults
3) Procrastinating on purpose
4) Sabotage
5) Keeping score
2. What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
I have experienced four of them. The silent treatment is given by so many people to me if they don't want to talk or if I need something then. I have experienced with subtle insults too. Procrastinating on the purpose is really not new for me bcoz I have some mean friends too. I didn't experience with sabotage I guess I don't know I am not sure about it. And yeah last one I have experienced and I guess I do experience it often because there are many friends who do that if I am not helping them. But honestly I have never realized this things in my real life because I don't mind too much.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Passive aggression is really toxic and damaging to our community. It will hurt people. It brings lack of trust and support to each other. This would create negative and bad environment which is really not healthy for our community. It will be poison for communications . People will not trust on each other. This turn people to be against to each other and it would be really harmful to community.
@LovetoGod I'm sorry that you've experienced a lot of passive aggressiveness in your life, but it is good to hear that it doesn't bother you too much! <3
@IcedEthan
Yeh lolš
Hi @LovetoGod! Sorry to hear that youāve experienced so much passive-aggressive behavior. Iām glad youāre not letting it affect you too much. Love the color schemes you use to format your responses by the way!
@Heather225
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
Silent Treatment:
When someone stops replying to your texts or stops talking to you after an argument they are using the silent treatment to let you know that there is still a problem
Subtle insults:
You can't be sure when a subtle insult has happened. Subtle insults confuse people and undermine their confidence especially when there is a power imbalance
Procrastinating on purpose:
You might have asked someone to do you a favor they say ok but they don't do it so you ask them again and the answer might be in a minute but a minute later nothing has happened. This type of procrastination can be a power move by someone that they are in control of the schedule and that you have no control over them.
Sabotage:
When people engage in sabotage they deliberately mess things up for someone else.
Keeping score:
This type of people do you a favor and keep track of it and then they pay you back for example If you can't attend their party they pay you back by missing your next party
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
I think I have been through most of it. But I will agree I have been a part of it to some extent without knowing it myself. Keeping score and procrastinating on purpose specifically. Keeping score is something both me and my sister do with each other only I didn't realize it was passive-aggressive until now. And I do tend to procrastinate on a few things a bit if I am busy. So I do think there is room for improvement for me.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Passive aggression is damaging to our community any many ways. For example, I had once thought that someone was being passive-aggressive with me through text. They weren't being passive-aggressive I was just overthinking. But after I thought that they were passive-aggressive I started avoiding them doing everything I can to avoid them. When I had to be put on a project with them I tried to find someone else to be put with cause I was afraid of them. That kept going until we talked it out and I realized I was overthinking. In short passive-aggressive behavior can cause mistrust and cause people to start avoiding the person. And when this passive aggressiveness comes from a leader it can be highly damaging. And when we are engaging in passive-aggressive behavior, sabotaging things for someone else, and procrastinating on stuff it can cause a setback to the community as a whole.
Winners are losers who got up and gave it one more shot
@mamtasha22 You make really good points. So you see a difference between avoidance due to passive-aggressiveness and avoidance due to passiveness (not addressing conflict or tension because of feeling uncomfortable)?
@peacefulIris56 Thanks for reading through and replying tho I am not very sure what the question meant 
@mamtasha22 You're welcome!!! I'll ask the question in different way. Do you ever feel that avoidance and procrastination can happen as not as a result of passive-aggressiveness?
@peacefulIris56
It can definitely be that way avoidance can be due to many reasons including passive-aggressive behavior and passiveness and likewise procrastination can have many reasons too including passive-aggressiveness, being actually busy, etc.
@manatasha22 So, you say that there are other reasons why people have avoidance and procrastination than due to passive-aggressiveness?
@peacefulIris56
Yes it can be that way My opinions might be and might not be right for everyone tho
Hi @mamtasha22! I love how detailed and well thought out your response was. It was a pleasure reading your response. Also appreciate the fact that you took the time to color code each section so itās easier for readers to follow along.
@mamtasha22
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
āThe Silent Treatmentā - When somebody stops speaking to you, or ignores any messages you have sent them.
āSubtle Insultsā - This can cause doubt and confusion, and undermine confidence. This is especially seen when there is a power imbalance.
āProcrastinating on purposeā - This can be used as a power control, showing you that the other person has control over their own schedule.
āSabotageā - This is when somebody deliberately messes things up for somebody else.
āKeeping Scoreā - These are people who keep track of what favours they do for you, and then expect something in return.
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
I have experienced somebody procrastinating on purpose when there was a group project that needed to be done while I was in school. There had been a falling out amongst friends, and one of our group members would not complete their portion of the work on time despite us asking and them saying they would.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Passive aggressiveness is harmful to the community as it can cause distrust and creates ineffective communication. It can cause others to respond negatively, and can quickly cause situations to break down. As it is a form of ineffective communication, it does not allow the situation at hand to be address properly, and it leaves feedback untold.
@IcedEthan
Hello!
Thank you so much for sharing your personal experience. I am sorry that you struggled with that though. It is actually sadly one of the reasons some people are scared of doing group projects.
What are the 5 signs of passive-aggressive communication?
The 5 signs of passive-aggressive communications are:
- The silent treatment - just stop responding to someone
- Subtle insults - you often canāt tell if these are insults, but they confuse people and undermine their confidence
- Procrastinating on purpose - agree to do something but procrastinate on doing the task to show who is in control of the schedule
- Sabotage - deliberately messing things up for something else
- Keeping score - keep track of all the favors do they for you and mess with you in return if you canāt pay them back the favors
What is one example of passive-aggressive behavior you have experienced in your life?
I have all 5 signs of passive-aggressive behavior in my life in various incidents. An example would be the silent treatment I got from a member after they ranted in my DM about another mod and refusing to use the proper feedback channel, they blocked me. Then that person went on to ignore me in group chats for days until things got resolved because higher ups stepped in.
Why is passive aggression so damaging to our community?
Passive aggression is damaging to our community because it erodes the trust and takes away the supportive environment in this community. We need trust, clear communication, and a supportive environment to make this community be the best it can be, and help everyone continuously improve themselves.