Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #6) How to Accept Feedback

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

There have been a lot of times where I take feedback personally and didn't react well to it. I felt as if they were attacking me, trying to bring me down, then I started getting really nervous and anxious. I think I reacted that way because I wanted to believe that I was doing everything correctly and that I know what I'm doing but in reality there are always areas to improve. After watching this video I will step back and re-evaluate the situation and think positively instead of negatively.

@Heather225

1. How did you react?
I took it into my stride.

2. How did you feel?
I was grateful for the constructive criticism because it pointed out what I was doing well and what I need to work on.

3. Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?
Because I wanted to learn and develop professionally. It wouldn’t get me anywhere if I just focused on my shortcomings.

4. What would you do differently after having watched the video?
This situation wasn’t tough. But in situations where I do feel down, I'll try to tell myself that the feedback doesn’t reflect on my worth as a person. It’s just meant to help me become the best version of myself.

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

With the most recent feedback I recieved I was overjoyed, it was so kind! I felt really happy and appreciated and proud that I was able to help the person enough for them to leave such amazing comments.. I reacted this way because the comments were so grateful to me for listening and caring, it melted my heart. I dont think I will do anything differently after watching the video if I'm honest.

Think about the most recent feedback you received: How did you react? How did you feel? Why do you think you reacted and feel that way? What would you do differently after having watched the video?

I receive feedback at the end of every year with my job. Most of the time it is good and there are only some areas that need to be addressed. My most recent feedback was very positive but there was one area that needed attention which was that I needed to do more courses. When I was told this I was immediately on the defensive, asking questions like ‘’How can I when they are not being run? Why do I need more if I fulfilling my job as is’’ Things like that. I got defensive because its easier to blame others than blame myself. What I should have done was ask ‘’what courses do you think I should do? Are there any up coming courses you would suggest?’’

After watching the video I now know to ask more questions like this during the feedback

Feedback is something we should always encourage. It helps us become better and addresses something that we may be weak at. Feedback can apply in everything that we do. One important thing to remember about feedback is that it is ment to be helpful not hurtful

@Heather225

I received feedback that was disappointing because…it was not clear feedback and I was told they could not tell me what the specifics were but here is a link to our guidelines. Okay I thought, I looked over the guidelines, but what was I looking for? I felt frustrated because I want to learn and correct an error but I was at a loss. So I did reply to the email but did not get the resolution I had hoped for so I reached out to a mentor for support. This could of gone so much better though, had someone who was reviewing me simply provide me instant feedback with solutions. Simple.

So:

Here is my opportunity to express my concerns about the way 7 Cups uses listeners to review other listeners ANONYMOUSLY and then that anonymous listener reports back to a third party from 7 Cups who in turn emails the feedback to the reviewed listener

This is VERY similar to a TRIANGULATION and furthermore it leaves the listener receiving the "cloaked" feedback, feeling confused, hurt and unsure of what to do.

I love feedback, don't get me wrong…but I prefer to have an immediate response from the very party that is giving the feedback and allow me to have a short discussion to counter or simply ask for additional support to correct the mistake/error/problem.

One cannot fix if one does not know what is broke and having to hear it from a third party feels shallow and cold.

Thanks for listening. Just an observation of the way things are. Peace and Love

What would I have done differently,

Not over-reacted so quickly.

@Heather225

I reacted by setting up a schedule to prevent further failure. I felt ashamed because I probably should have noticed by my self. I'll probably thank the next person to give me feedback

@Heather225

Think about the most recent feedback you received:

How did you react?
I was feeling a little uncomfortable with the positive feedback and felt very nervous about receiving the positive points. I felt more comfortable with the constructive criticism as long as it was phrased in a way that wasn't personal.

How did you feel?
Again, I felt more comfortabel with the constructive form of criticism. But for those moments where the feedback was more directly negative or critical, I would feel very let down by myself, as if it was hardd to view the route to being "better".

Why do you think you reacted and feel that way?
I think I reacted this way internally because just receiving feedback that is negative with no direction for imporvement is just being talked down to in my opinion. For the moments of positive feedback straightforward, I think I felt awkward only becuase praise seems to make me feel isolated out and as if I am not being lead to develop myself.

What would you do differently after having watched the video?
I might feel a little different, but it is hard to tell. Time will tell. But I feel like my ideas and feelings in regard to my ability to receive feedback will remain the same because I feel strongly about personal versus constructive feedback.

@Heather225

I got my maths homework back and feedback on how I could get the wrong answers correct. I don't like getting things wrong, I am one of the cleverest in the class and it is my personal challenge to beat everyone else in my class. I did however get the answers wrong and the feedback was very helpful and I now haven't done the mistake again. I think I reacted well taking onboard the feedback and that has helped me become better with my maths work.

@Heather225

The last feedback that I received was that I sometimes speak before thinking careful and considering others feelings

How did I react: I was a little shocked because I was working on this problem for so long and never really realized that I had hurt people close to me without knowing it

How did I feel and why do I think I felt that way: Well, I felt a little disappointed that my work wasn't really that helping but I was happy that it was an honest feedback instead of empty flattery and that will help me become more aware of my mistakes and work harder to fix them

What would I do differently after watching the video: I learned to not get personally attacked by it and ask for advice from the person who gave me a feedback