Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #3) The Detriments of Gossip

@Heather225

Something about this video felt a little triggering for me... I feel like it was the combination of the stern, strident vocal tone and the labeling of someone's actions as toxic, poisonous, and ugly. My reaction was that I wanted to say that people who gossip are human too and give them hugs. I feel like the woman who created this video might be angry if she were to hear me say that. If she's suffering, I'm happy to empathize with her too. I'm going to step lightly.

1) Why is gossiping bad?
If I say things about someone else that are hurtful or judgmental, then even if it's not about them, the person that I'm talking to might feel scared that I will turn that hurtfulness or judgmentality against them.

Judgmentality is like a gas that affects whatever it touches and causes it to contract or alter itself and cease to be what it is, out of fear of being annihilated while still in its purest form. Things tend to move around and judgment makes a person afraid of moving into certain places.

2) List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
"I don't know enough about the situation to comment on it."

@QuietMagic

Awh you are so sweet, I can understand why it felt like a stern and strident vocal tone. And I agree how you put judgementality, I definitely agree.

@River 💚 You're really kind... thank you so much. 💜

Why is gossiping bad?

-Gossip is poison. It makes you look good while the other person being gossiped about looks bad.

List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies.

-I can just change the topic altogether or say a good characteristic of that person rather than feed into the negative gossip.

@shiningDay80

Agreed, nice answer!

@shiningDay80

Great answer, definitely agree!

@shiningDay80

ShiningDay, ShiningSuggestion!

Hello there!

changing The topic, at least from my experience helps a lot, i love your response!

Sending energy and strenght!

Lots of love,

🌸Hana🌸

@Heather225

1. Gossiping is bad because it creates a negative environment as it spreads negative information. It is toxic also makes the person who gossip potray as untrustable. Talking negative about another person also creates negative emotions like frustration etc in you.

2. " I don't know the other person's perspective, so I prefer to not discuss what I think they were thinking or feeling in their absence."

@positivePumpkin22 Nice answer! I loved how you also mentioned it develops negative emotions on us which is so true.

@positivePumpkin22

That's a nice statement you chose. You rock and are amazing! Don't let anyone tell you any different!

@positivePumpkin22

True. Denying to participate behind their back is the way to go.

Hello there!

Yeah, frustation is one of The first things i connect with The word gossiping on its own. It totally brings me back to middle school lunchbreaks. I love your response, Thank you.

Sending energy and strenght!

Lots of love,

🌸Hana🌸

@Heather225

1. Why is gossiping bad?

Gossiping is bad because it develops the culture of distrust in the community & is bad for the person being gossiped about.

2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!

I loved the statement "I dont know enough about the situation to comment on it"

@River

I agree with your statement on how gossiping breeds distrust in the community ♥ Gossip doesn't only hurt the person being gossiped about, it affects everyone who participates in spreading the rumor.

@River

Great Response!

@River

Love the confidence, wonderful replies

@Heather225

1. Why is gossiping bad? Gossiping is bad because it can spread rumours about people and put people in a negative light.
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies. I dont know enough about the situation to comment. / Point out a quality that you like about the person.

@bookworm274

I loved that you pointed out it puts people in a negative light! You also said people (which I liked,) which shows that the person being talked about is not the only one being viewed negativley.

@Cocoakrispies121 Yes. That is so true.

@Heather225

Why is gossiping bad?

would i like to know if someone was making me seem bad when i don't even get to defend me?? so if i don't like it for me, why would be any different about others?? (i've been trying my best to stop gossiping in rl, by carrying a red marker with me everywhere, drawing a sad face everytime i engage in any kind of gossiping in family chats or at school, getting to have an hour of writing everyday without a sad face *-*)

List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!

i don't know enough about the situation to comment on it, honestly that's almost always the case! you never know enough about a situation to judge specially if you can hear only one side of the story...

@Listeningsarinn

I love your perspective on how stopping gossip starts with us. It all comes down to the Golden Rule, I suppose: we should treat others the way that we want to be treated.

@IvyL

thanks #-# yeah i guess that golden rule would make everything easier ^^

@Listeningsarinn, I love that way of preventing gossip with sad faces 💙 I might try that myself actually!

Spot on! We should treat other people the same way we like to be treated!

Gossiping is a horrible thing that can really hurt a person because it promotes negative talk about someone and sometimes these rumors might not even be remotely true. With a group of people in on the gossip, it may spread beyond a single community and even end up on the internet. It truly may impact a person beyond return. However, from the video, something that stuck with me is that some people may not like you no matter what you do. I think that keeping this in the back of your mind if you find yourself in a situation like that, can be really helpful.

@softMusic9759

I appreciate your insight into how a single rumor could snowball into an event with much bigger consequences. Even if we think that it does little harm to discuss about another person behind their back, the hurt that gossiping can cause is very real.

@Heather225

Hi! How are you?

Gossip is bad because it is poison, for everyone. You are poisoning the one being gossiped about, you are making a bad action, poisoning yourself, and you all the rest with you. You are being what you are saying.

Get out and away of gossip.

The negative trait you gossip about is associated with your own negative traits.

Don t gossip. Be good.

@Daf8

True. Negative gossip can reflect gossiper's own negative trait or insecurity

@DonaldDraper

Exactly! Thank you

@Daf8

i feel this sentence... "you're being what you're saying"

p.s. many s feels good btw ^^

@Listeningsarinn

I strongly agree!

Thank you

@Daf8 @Listeningsarinn Yes. This is so true. It is also true in the positive sense as well.

@Daf8 That is a very realistic way to look at it.

@peacefulIris56

Thank you for your kind words! You are really sweet and appreciative. Thank you for this! Keep being amazing

@Daf8 You're welcome and thank you for your kind words and appreciation as well. Thank you for the uplift and encouragement. I appreciate that.

@peacefulIris56

Thank you! And thank you for your sweetness, appreciation and lovely words. Thank you for being who you are! You are incredible and you deserve all that love you give. I appreciate *you*

@Daf8 You're welcome!!! I appreciate you as well. And thank you for being who you are. You deserve the love that you give as well.

@peacefulIris56

Thank you! I appreciate how awesome you are. Thank *you* for being who you are and doing what you do. You deserve the love you provide and the very best

@Daf8 I appreciate the really great person that you are and what you do as well. I appreciate positive, appreciative and uplifting people like you!!!