Course 2: Becoming a 7 Cups Leader - (Discussion #3) The Detriments of Gossip
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Our next objective in this course is to master effective communication skills for healthy interpersonal and professional relationships.
Please watch this video
1. Why is gossiping bad?
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
3. Please reply to 3 of your peers  in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
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@Heather225
Something about this video felt a little triggering for me... I feel like it was the combination of the stern, strident vocal tone and the labeling of someone's actions as toxic, poisonous, and ugly. My reaction was that I wanted to say that people who gossip are human too and give them hugs. I feel like the woman who created this video might be angry if she were to hear me say that. If she's suffering, I'm happy to empathize with her too. 
I'm going to step lightly.
1) Why is gossiping bad?
If I say things about someone else that are hurtful or judgmental, then even if it's not about them, the person that I'm talking to might feel scared that I will turn that hurtfulness or judgmentality against them.
Judgmentality is like a gas that affects whatever it touches and causes it to contract or alter itself and cease to be what it is, out of fear of being annihilated while still in its purest form. Things tend to move around and judgment makes a person afraid of moving into certain places.
2) List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
"I don't know enough about the situation to comment on it."
@QuietMagic
Awh you are so sweet, I can understand why it felt like a stern and strident vocal tone. And I agree how you put judgementality, I definitely agree.
@River 💚 You're really kind... thank you so much. 💜
Why is gossiping bad?
-Gossip is poison. It makes you look good while the other person being gossiped about looks bad.
List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies.
-I can just change the topic altogether or say a good characteristic of that person rather than feed into the negative gossip.
@shiningDay80
Agreed, nice answer!
@shiningDay80
Great answer, definitely agree!
@shiningDay80
ShiningDay, ShiningSuggestion!
Hello there!
changing The topic, at least from my experience helps a lot, i love your response!
Sending energy and strenght!
Lots of love,
🌸Hana🌸
@Heather225
1. Gossiping is bad because it creates a negative environment as it spreads negative information. It is toxic also makes the person who gossip potray as untrustable. Talking negative about another person also creates negative emotions like frustration etc in you.
2. " I don't know the other person's perspective, so I prefer to not discuss what I think they were thinking or feeling in their absence."
@positivePumpkin22 Nice answer! I loved how you also mentioned it develops negative emotions on us which is so true.
@positivePumpkin22
That's a nice statement you chose. You rock and are amazing! Don't let anyone tell you any different!
@positivePumpkin22
True. Denying to participate behind their back is the way to go.
Hello there!
Yeah, frustation is one of The first things i connect with The word gossiping on its own. It totally brings me back to middle school lunchbreaks. I love your response, Thank you.
Sending energy and strenght!
Lots of love,
🌸Hana🌸
@Heather225
1. Why is gossiping bad?
Gossiping is bad because it develops the culture of distrust in the community & is bad for the person being gossiped about.
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
I loved the statement "I dont know enough about the situation to comment on it"
@River
I agree with your statement on how gossiping breeds distrust in the community ♥ Gossip doesn't only hurt the person being gossiped about, it affects everyone who participates in spreading the rumor.
@River
Great Response!
@River
Love the confidence, wonderful replies
@Heather225
1. Why is gossiping bad? Gossiping is bad because it can spread rumours about people and put people in a negative light.
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies. I dont know enough about the situation to comment. / Point out a quality that you like about the person.
@bookworm274
I loved that you pointed out it puts people in a negative light! You also said people (which I liked,) which shows that the person being talked about is not the only one being viewed negativley.
@Cocoakrispies121 Yes. That is so true.
@Heather225
Why is gossiping bad?
would i like to know if someone was making me seem bad when i don't even get to defend me?? so if i don't like it for me, why would be any different about others?? (i've been trying my best to stop gossiping in rl, by carrying a red marker with me everywhere, drawing a sad face everytime i engage in any kind of gossiping in family chats or at school, getting to have an hour of writing everyday without a sad face *-*)
List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
i don't know enough about the situation to comment on it, honestly that's almost always the case! you never know enough about a situation to judge specially if you can hear only one side of the story...
@Listeningsarinn
I love your perspective on how stopping gossip starts with us. It all comes down to the Golden Rule, I suppose: we should treat others the way that we want to be treated.
@IvyL
thanks #-# yeah i guess that golden rule would make everything easier ^^
@Listeningsarinn, I love that way of preventing gossip with sad faces 💙 I might try that myself actually!
Spot on! We should treat other people the same way we like to be treated!
Gossiping is a horrible thing that can really hurt a person because it promotes negative talk about someone and sometimes these rumors might not even be remotely true. With a group of people in on the gossip, it may spread beyond a single community and even end up on the internet. It truly may impact a person beyond return. However, from the video, something that stuck with me is that some people may not like you no matter what you do. I think that keeping this in the back of your mind if you find yourself in a situation like that, can be really helpful.
@softMusic9759
I appreciate your insight into how a single rumor could snowball into an event with much bigger consequences. Even if we think that it does little harm to discuss about another person behind their back, the hurt that gossiping can cause is very real.
@Heather225
Hi! How are you?
Gossip is bad because it is poison, for everyone. You are poisoning the one being gossiped about, you are making a bad action, poisoning yourself, and you all the rest with you. You are being what you are saying.
Get out and away of gossip.
The negative trait you gossip about is associated with your own negative traits.
Don t gossip. Be good.
@Daf8
True. Negative gossip can reflect gossiper's own negative trait or insecurity
@Daf8
i feel this sentence... "you're being what you're saying"
p.s. many s feels good btw ^^
@Listeningsarinn
I strongly agree!
Thank you
@Daf8 @Listeningsarinn Yes. This is so true. It is also true in the positive sense as well.
@Heather225
1. Why is gossiping bad?
It is not only unproductive, but it creates a negative image of you in the other person's mind.
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies!
I prefer siding with the person or backing the person being gossiped about. So that they can see the positive side of the person and rethink gossiping.
@DonaldDraper
i like your point of view where you think you should try making the other person rethink gossiping too not just avoiding getting involved in it! ^^
@DonaldDraper
I agree, it is unproductive and it produces a situation where we utilize too many of our brain reserves for things that don't even matter. Good job.
@Heather225
1. Why is gossiping bad? Gossiping is negative and it will leave you and the person you are talking about in a negative state.
2. List a statement you learned from this video to stop gossiping in the replies! The purpose of gossiping is to make someone who isn't present look bad and to make yourself look good. The person who you are gossiping to will begin to think you also gossip about them and they won't trust you!
