Course 2, Discussion 5: Conflict Resolution 101: Dealing with Gossip and Triangulation
Let's call you Person A. Now, you have a problem with Person B and really dont know what to do about it. You go to Person C to discuss it. This is triangulation, when a problem between 2 people comes to involved a 3rd person unnecessarily.
While gossiping is spreading or engaging in the discussion of any information that is not true, exaggerated or hurtful to the individual. If you are not comfortable saying the same to someone directly, it is likely gossip and should not be shared with third person.
The triangulation process can happen in all relationships. Let's say someone is offended by another user. Triangulation can be very tempting, but it ultimately only ends up negatively impacting all involved. Having clear, calm, and honest conversation is challenging and requires you to overcome your fears, but, when done right, it positively impacts all involved.
At times a person doesn't realize that some words or phrases may seem intimidating to another person.We all come from different backgrounds thus it is important for us to support each other.
Why is triangulation unhelpful?
Because it perpetuates the spread of information, which can be hurtful to those involved. It lends itself to rumor spreading and it takes a private situation between two users and exposes it to more people.
What should you do if someone comes to you for support on something which occurred in the community?
1) Never share the names of another user
2) Never share specific details of a chat with another user
3) If someone wants to share with you, please say this:
"I am sorry this happened! Sounds like a challenging situation. As to avoid triangulation, it would be best for you to practice conflict resolution with that person. If conflict resolution is not possible, please let a community manager know by filing a L-L report. Please do not share this situation with other users as to preserve confidentiality.
Special note: You should avoid triangulation with all other users, including mentors, group mods, peer supporters, mentor leaders and ambassadors. Any time a situation cannot be worked out via conflict resolution, please file a L-L report.
We have covered the don’ts, now lets see how we can resolve conflict.
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Step back and slow down
Think before you put your words across in order to avoid something that will escalate the conflict.
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Show clarity regarding your intentions and goals for the conversation
Listen to learn something new and express your views and feelings professionally.
Avoid blaming or changing another person's point of view.
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Avoid assumptions and ask questions to explore the other persons story
Do not convince them you are right.
Listen to the person on the opposite end as they will more likely try to understand you.
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Express your feelings without holding the other person accountable for the conflict
Use I statements to express yourself.
State a feeling rather than judging.
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Be responsible for your assumptions
On the internet, messages can be interpreted in several ways. To think that your beliefs and conclusions about others are the truth, will only escalate the conflict.
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Find a common ground
Reaching a common ground will make it easier to resolve the conflict and will diffuse defensiveness.
✒️ Taking responsibility for our actions: Take the Pledge!
As a listener in our community, it is your responsibility to stop triangulation when you see it or are invited to participate in it. Doing this will keep our community healthy and moving in a positive direction. I challenge you all to take the Avoiding Triangulation Pledge:
"In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence."
✒️ Please reply to at least 1 of your peers in this thread with encouraging or supportive words!
❗❗After posting, please...
1. Take the course exam here to complete course 2.
2. Proceed to Course 3!
🔉This post is brought to you by the Leadership Development Program, find information on it here tinyurl.com/AcademyLDP
"In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence."
signed Serene Peace
@FrenchToast In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence.
@FrenchToast Stomping on CP "In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence."
@Countrygirl095 All the best for your LDP program 💜Keep moving 🌼
In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence..
ChromaticFinss
Congrats on completing Course 2!
@calmstrawberry0608
💕 You've got this! 💕
@FrenchToast
✒️ Taking responsibility for our actions: Take the Pledge!
Kayla's Pledge:
In
all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy
relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of
rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not
involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me
or require my presence.
I will reply to a peer after posting this discussion.
In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence.
So pledged.
I have found the following phrase to be helpful in my personal life when trying to address conflict:
"I feel _____ when you _____ because ______ and I want _______"
Maybe it could be adapted to use here with something like this:
"I feel _____ because _______ and I'd like ________ to happen. How do you feel about this?"
or something along those lines. What do you think? I'd love to get your help creating a good phrase to keep in my head.
P.S. It's important to note that "I feel" must be followed by a feeling word, not a blaming statement like "that you..."
@JustSophia
I love the way you put your "I feel" phrases. I wrote them down for future use with my own personal relationships. Great ideas!
@JustSophia
Thank you for sharing such amazing phrases. I do think it is very effective.💚
I also like to add ''___in my opinion" sometimes. It indicates that I have room for discussion and am ready to mend the conflict.
@sky2Ocean20
I think that makes a lot of sense. Thanks for that thought.
@JustSophia
Hi, thank you for sharing them and they're so helpful! Same as you, I also like to put "I feel" before things that I may like to express my opinions on :D
As most people are just posting with the pledge, I will simply say congrats to all for getting this far. :)
@JustSophia Thank you congrats to you as well :)
@FrenchToast
In all my interactions, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment, by stopping the spread or rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or my required presence.
@4Jasmine
Thanks. I'm glad you find them helpful!
