Eva’s Crazy Mind

why am i even *** trying lmao

one weird thing i’ve done is give some things a gender. here are some examples. darkness is a he. depression is a he. life is a she. theoppositeoflife is he. 

why? idfk xD

i’m absolutely insane lmfao 

i wanna laugh at everything because it’s so *** absurd

ok ye gonna go bbl or something we’ll see

literally tf is wrong with me it’s 8:20pm and i haven’t done a single part of the assignments i was supposed to.

oop mom got home she gon be mad

unless- i manage to hide it lmao. 

and the teachers are gonna be mad if they find out i left some *** unfinished although i “had the whole day” (which is true-)

@justmeeva Relatable.

but hey i have the night :D

ok let’s be honest i’m *** ❤️

bang

bang

bang 

etc.

doesn’t it sound lovely without context 

i~

wanna~

. . . 

✨

:D

ey i can just use the first letter of each word thing that way nobody will really know what i meant to say :D

i k w b m h u i l r h b i s f s a c d s (:

wait- usually when i have this “idec atp everything’s so absurdly funny i’m insane” kind of mindset it does not end well- at all-

…

it’s usually followed up with a really, really bad night or something like that-

because apparently it’s my brain’s way of avoiding problems and emotions and thoughts- but that just means they’re all gonna hit at once some time later-

……. o_o

well ***. :D

me: “you know i could just-“

brain: “eva, no.”

me: “no but theoretically-“

brain: “no eva.”

me: ._.

it would need a tw but you don’t know the context so :D 

“hi eva you’re an idiot just so you know” 

“oh thank you/sorry”

and now i’m arguing with myself.

i really am insane aren’t i 

h e l p   m e.

k w i w d r n b o w (:

“just do it” 

“respectfully shut the *** up pls ty ❤️”

my sister got a text from her friend saying “i miss you”. wanted to *** scream. 

it’s not fair

i only have a whole schoolday worth of work to do, i’m good ❤️

yeahh the “reality” hit now. cool. 

gonna start with the assignments. 

“i’m giving so many signs aren’t you watching?”

those 4 songs are.. yeah. make me feel something. something close to.. hope? but like.. they’re not about anything positive. they’re about uh.. leaving, instead. but they comfort. can’t explain it but.. they take some of the feeling of being all alone away.

funny thing is, some songs are like.. triggering, but comforting at the same time. like you don’t even wanna turn it off, even tho it’s like- bad. lol idk. 

and as you see, 40 minutes later, i still haven’t started. literally considering giving up atp lol. on everything.