Eva’s Crazy Mind

gtg to math class (i have a test that i have to retake since last *** break and idk when i have or can do that, i should’ve prepared for that but i didn’t understand anything so i didn’t, i have to explain to that same morning teacher that i haven’t read the book yet although it was due like 2 weeks ago  a n d  i haven't done the assignment about the  p r e v i o u s  book which was like a *** month ago, i have some english stuff way overdue, a history assignment multiple weeks overdue that i have no idea what to do) so wish me luck and let’s hope the crying count won’t increase <3

@justmeeva

*sitting with eva bean* 🥺

i would have so much to say rn but i won’t. 

school finished about an hour ago, mom picked me up and now she tells me to study again ❤️

@justmeeva

bruh seriously… :') mmm. 😞 i wish she understood how exhausting school is on its own. 

@LoveMyMoonflowers 

cool thing is that one of the homework is related to the book that i haven’t read or even recieved :D another overdue assignment how fun 

@justmeeva

not even received…? i’m sorry friend ): do you have to like purchase the book or get it from the library? 💜

*offers a hug for you* me feel sad to see eva beanie under so much stress… 😔 but me understand because schoolybobs is vv stressful and even more stressful and scary when things are overdue ): me knows me not in your shoes friend but me understand a bit because ni friend has vvv many assignments overdue also … 😞 it’s vv stressful, especially when they are throwing new assignments all the time also. ☹️

me believes in eva bean though. 💜 me also thinks… :o next time there is a student support chat here maybe you can hop in for a little? they can help with tips there 💜 helped me a bit ^-^ 

@LoveMyMoonflowers 

mhm they have to get it from another library to the one we go to and somehow that’s taking time *and* they’re closed on weekend anyway so much time for lost there :’)

yeah i don’t do well with stress. especially since the assignments are usually either more time consuming or more difficult or something i don’t understand (i mean duh otherwise they’d be done-).. yeah. i just don’t like when things start piling up like this, i don’t know where to start once i do decide to start working on them and then i kinda try to do some stuff at once or like leave something unfinished to come back to it later and then it gets all messy and confusing and *boom* a mess which usually leads to giving up. 👍

student support room - that might be a good idea, i don’t think i’ve ever tried it but now i’m thinking- why haven’t i-? but yeah i think i should probably check it out sometime. thank you nibuddy 🩷

@justmeeva

dang ): i don’t think that’s your fault then friend … 😞 also, if you don’t even have the book yet because they haven’t gotten the book yet in the library… why are they giving you homework that’s related to that book? :') *smh* 🤦🏻‍♀️ :') (do correct me if i’ve gotten it all wrong 😬) 

yeah i hear you buddy. ☹️ and i get that tbh, i do the same thing. :') tbh, i think we tend to procrastinate because there’s a kind of fear surrounding the assignment. not understanding it, not doing it right ✨ messing it up… 😞 idk - or, tbh, we might not even know what’s up. we sort of just feel… stuck. like… especially, *especially* when it piles up :') it gets so stressful, and we just don’t know what to do. :/ it’s stressful when we are on track, i guess, but it’s more stressful when things are overdue… 😞 

i’m vv sorry it’s been difficult for evabuddy with schoolybobs. ☹️ you already have a lot going on… 😞 and then… school on top of that. :') i’m sorry friend. 😞💜 me understand it’s overwhelming. 💜 about the book thing - is it possible to speak to a teacher about that? because you don’t even have the book yet… how are they expecting you to do the homework *smh* :') 

me thinks trying to hop into the student support room and maybe asking for tips would help :o their team is so vv helpful in the room 💜 i’ve asked them about some things before. (like procrastination… ni friend needs to win awards for her procrastinating… i’m a ✨ pro ✨ lol) 

@justmeeva

i’m vv sorry for the late reply friend 🙈 i’m trying to fill out a little book i’m supposed to do for school. 🥲 it’s so annoying :/ 

i’m cupsing in between lol 🥲

@LoveMyMoonflowers 

my school doesn’t have its own library so i go to one near my home. my mom ‘ordered’ the book but it was available in a different library so now we gotta wait until they bring it to ours :/ i guess it kind of is my fault, we have a free choice this month so i could just choose something else… but i wanted that one book, my mom already ordered it, i don’t have any unread books at home and i just think it’s better to wait for the book than to go searching for a new one. it shouldn’t take much longer.. but i swear this time it was supposed to be different, i told my sister to visit the library many weeks before the due date instead of leaving it to the last few days, i was supposed to be able to read it during school break.. but of course nothing goes to plan. first, my sister didn’t get to go to the library that week, then it wasn’t at the library, then the library was closed, now we have to wait for it. i had it all planned and now… *points at the situation in disappointment*. 

yeah prostetanaticating (that should be the right way to spell it) is one of my biggest problems too. i leave *everything* to the last minute. it’s just coded into my personality atp. 

is there a place for the times and dates of the pop up rooms somewhere? i have tried to search for them a little but haven’t succeeded hehe. *gives you a crown and makes you the prostetanatication queen and then bes the princess* :p

@justmeeva

oh noes i’m sorry… 😞 that’s not fun friend ): i think you’re right though it’s better to just wait for the book to come than to select a new one. 💜 i hope it comes soon. 😞💜 

lol i like that spelling. 💜 hehe. 

im not sure about the time buddy :o maybe you could PM zareia about the times? 💜 idk. that might help? 💜 

(i’m sorry i feel a bit dry right now… replies kinda short. i just had to deal with something…. and it seems to have taken up all my energy. idk.) 

@LoveMyMoonflowers 

don’t worry lovely, i understand how sometimes there’s just not enough creativity or energy to find something to say. that’s okay 🩷 here if you want to talk to me okay? 💕

@justmeeva

thank you buddy 💜 i think i’ll be okie, but thank you friend. 💜

coming to cups is becoming a decision to debate on. 

i thought i was safe staying off rooms but oh well. of course not. 

*sigh*.

i’m stuck. 

all okayness was as if literally drained out of me. again. everything’s so heavy now.. and i’m drowning.. minute by minute, deeper and deeper. 

“teach me how to be okay”

pain..

“i don’t wanna hurt you” you once said.

now look at me

hurt

by you.

tonight’s not gonna go well, i can feel it. 

…..

that’s.. not a very good sign. 

i’m finally completely alone. family’s asleep. the lights are off. let the fun begin..

should i be scared of myself? because right now, i’m starting to be. 

“the only person you can trust is yourself”

….. 

i really wouldn’t be so sure of that. 

i know one way to numb this pain.. 

……….

someone save me before i try to save myself…

why does every passing minute seem so long?

i could.. 

…..

everything looks so slow and blurry…

it’s hard. really *** hard. 

i’m so close to………

it’s only getting worse. 

i might…

i did. 

………………..

***.