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my journal: various subjects, opinionating, CW at times

slowdecline48 June 24th, 2022

The title explains itself.

If you're interested in the ramblings of a middle-aged man with chronic conditions who, at times, sees things a little too clearly for his own good, then read on.

Sometimes I get political, but it won't be all the time.

I don't mind comments in general but if you're going to differ with what I write, that's fine--as long as you can explain your position clearly & reasonably. Rants, shouting & general incoherence will be ignored or flagged, depending on the situation. Try to remember that not everyone else in this world holds your beliefs.

Every so often I may post art or snapshots of projects I'm working on.

If you're still interested after reading all the above, great. (I do wonder at how much time you have on your hands, though)

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slowdecline48 OP June 16th

Lazy Sunday...takin' it easy & stayin' home, while all the church people swarm into every restaurant in the area & stuff their faces.1 Once I renew my lease for the last time, select my land & sign the documents, there will be a s**t-ton of tasks for the rest of the year. So much to get done...I know I probably won't finish them all. Will have to prioritize 'em & do the most important ones first. Yes indeed...my life will be busy soon.

So I'm slacking off today. Tell anyone who calls that I'm out of the office, babe.


1They do it every Sunday. They feel closer to their god when they do this...don't ask me why.

slowdecline48 OP June 17th

LATE-NIGHT THOUGHTS OF A CONFIRMED INSOMNIAC & CYNIC

In no order of importance -

  1. Tom Segura might've been funny at one time, but his success & earnings swelled his ego like a pancreatic tumor...now he's just another bald a**hole with no self-awareness at all. To paraphrase Abraham Lincoln: almost anyone can withstand adversity to some degree. To really test a person's character, give him/her a lot of money.
  2. The fact that Segura hangs out with Bert Kreischer speaks volumes. Kreischer is over 50 now & still doing his "frat boy" shtick which, if current trends hold, will either k!ll him or make him get a liver transplant.
  3. The two men described above are examples of 21st-century Western decline. The philosopher José Ortega y Gasset would know it right away, if he were here to see it.
  4. Two nights ago I got a chance to stick to my indoor wildlife policy: murder the roach; smash anything that flies & is not a bird; spare the spider always.
  5. I realize the above policy may have to change after I leave this 3rd-rate apartment anthill for wherever my spot will be.


Good morning, gentle reader...enjoy your coffee.

1 reply
slowdecline48 OP June 17th
Addendum: Alarms set on one's phone can be ruthlessly effective if you don't silence them in advance. Which is fine. We night people eventually have to contend with daytime schedules, dammit.
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slowdecline48 OP June 18th

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Can't say I'm surprised. Between AI-generated "photos", deepfake vids & algorithms that write articles, in addition to their other issues, legacy media sources have lost much prestige in recent years.

Also:

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I posted this thread weeks ago & it's still getting "likes" & responses... Had no idea it would get that much attention for this long!

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@slowdecline48 My post on that thread keeps getting upvoted by the same person nearly daily too...It's interesting lol. I think the hearts reset daily to where you can heart a post again the next day.

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slowdecline48 OP June 23rd

@ImpudentIncognito Waitaminnit...by the same person every day? WTH... 😕

My OP keeps getting "hearted" by different people. For a while now I haven't recognized the names at all. At this point I don't know how many of them are bot accounts or just new people I haven't met.

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@slowdecline48

     Yeah, by the same person. I kind of know them, but it's been awhile since I've talked to the person hearting my posts, since I don't go to the support groups room anymore. I'm just waiting for this member to respond to the post lol. I'm curious if they wanted to talk...Unless they forgot they hearted me and filling out a task? (I've done that maybe once or twice and went "wait a minute...I thought I hearted this post??"

Speaking of tasks...
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     Apparently 7cups has this new feature on their website which tells members to do certain tasks daily that always change the next day. One of the tasks is "♥hearting♥" a post. Currently, it's not in my tasks list for today, but when I find an example...I can post it. Furthermore, I noticed one of my own posts keeps getting hearts. So I'm not sure if that is giving more visibility to posts???

     Apart from that...I said something slightly critical of 7cups in that particular post out of frustration that my words were getting censored, and I think maybe other people who have been on 7cups for a while were able to empathize making it a more popular post? It's just 7cups was rather different a few years back then compared to what it's like now, To put it bluntly, I used to have a consistent listener who was pretty great. I felt the support groups were pretty helpful, more traction in the forums too, but I feel like 7cups is a bit empty now...and I don't feel as connected to...today's climate, I guess, is the easiest and nicest way to put it? Not sure.

     Anyhow...Yeah. Idk, I think maybe people probably have a LOT of strong views on current 7cups -- that's why I initially gravitated to your post. I feel like it's something people should talk about, so I'm glad you made the post. I question why I'm here sometimes...and have thought about getting away from the online world, but I have an online addition every since I became disabled...it really "siphons donkey derriere" (since I'm going to get censored from saying the words I want to say LOL).

Been sitting here every since the "disability"(I really don't know if that's the word, that's what the docs call me, but I...feel weird saying it sometimes), dealing with chronic pain, and other medical issues since walking for more than 10-15+ minutes is stupid painful in my chest., like a knife stabbing me and/or bad heart palpitations..Doctors giving the round-a-bout saying "You're fine, don't worry about it. Take these pain killers which do absolutely nothing". I just want to be able to manage the pain and work again, but I'm getting the run around, don't like it. However if I had my druthers, I will have new docs soon that'll be a bit more helpful. That'd make me as happy as lark but, uhm, I digress....a lot LOL. Golly gee...

     My words feel like mush right now haha, running low energy and haven't been able to really sleep for many days, it's wonderful. Sorry if what I say is not super coherent right now....Just...can't sleep or do much. 🫠 I want to go offline one of these days and go for walks like I used to...fishing, hike mountains, see nature, go to the park, zoo...spend time with family more (son & my other half) and make new family traditions.... Can't roughhouse with son anymore or keep up with him as much, slowing down too much. Really just want these doctors to fix me already to how I was. Used to drink alcohol to cope with pain and smoke hippy herbs too, but quit everything. I wanted to not rely on substances, but I'm SOL most likely. Just been getting a lot of wear and tear on this body over the years due to...circumstances and job related reasons. When I was on those substances, it numbed my pain, but it's also not necessarily a good thing, it means I overwork my own body without noticing the damage I'm causing it right away. 

Holy mackerel haha, I need to sleep...just been busy with the move lately and now I'm rambling like a verbose Virgil haha. 

4 replies
slowdecline48 OP June 24th

@ImpudentIncognito You certainly do digress. 🤨 I understand, though...as a chronic person myself, I know that physical ailments (& personal problems in general) can be quite absorbing to the person afflicted by them.

You might want to read this thread & maybe do a websearch for self-advocating strategies & tactics. The thread is US-based so it may only partly apply, depending on the laws of your country. (Based on previous comments/posts, it sounds like you're in the Middle East somewhere) Once you know how to talk to doctors & when to look for a better doctor, you'll have a better chance of solving your issues.

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@slowdecline48  I slept this time, hopefully won't be digressing anymore lol. I'm in an English speaking country currently -- my first language is Spanish. I'll still check out the link, it's good info to have regardless. Will have a new doctor soon since I'm moving anyways -- I plan on going legal with the past doctors for their screw-ups and how it's affected me. I won't let them get away easy. 

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slowdecline48 OP June 24th

Also, remember that an online platform having a new feature is not an obligation to use it. I've never used that scheduling thing, & don't plan on using it at all. My phone's calendar already helps to keep me on schedule, or at least let me know when I need to be somewhere or do something.

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@slowdecline48 I've only tried it once, never was interested in the "paths" thing that 7cups had. I tried it, but it's repetitious. I think other people are using that feature -- I keep getting hearts on a certain post that I'm not particularly happy about. I was at my lowest point. Tempted to delete it but...if it helps other people, then I guess I'll leave it. Idk yet.

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mytwistedsoul June 24th

@ImpudentIncognito Which is really weird because we get a limited amount of hearts now. I'm not sure I understand the logic of it but then again I don't quite understand most of the "updates" because they seem pointless or just add to the frustration of how they do things here

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@mytwistedsoul Yeah, I'm not really a fan of the updates either to be honest. I also don't understand why some comments are hidden and we have to click to expand them? I don't see any particular trigger words on those replies either? I noticed as soon as I reply to certain things, it automatically hides my comment. I wonder if it happens too when we say something critical about this website. The more I'm on 7cups, the more I kind of just want to leave but I guess I like punishing myself lol. I've been here since...2019. It kind of feels more like it's targeted for more..."happy go-lucky" vibe? Which...doesn't really help for people like me (diagnosed with PTSD) idk...if it helps others, kudos to them, I suppose.

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mytwistedsoul June 24th

@ImpudentIncognito For the most part I think it hides any negativity? They definitely don't like you to say anything bad about the site and alot of times it'll be deleted. Google if this is a bad place sometime. Someone even wrote a book that's on Amazon about it. "The toxic truth of .... " I'll leave the name out because there's probably something that sets off the algorithm to alert a mod to delete it. So even though I spend alot of free time here off and on it's best to just be aware and cautious


I've been here since 2018 and I've had the same thoughts tbh. And I lost count of the times I've said that's it I'm done. There's people here that I genuinely like and care about tho

Ah yes the wonder toxic positivity! Where sunshine makes everything right in the world and all we need is happy happy thoughts! Sorry for my eye roll lol! No it doesn't really help tbh - cptsd diagnosed here. You were so right in your earlier post to @slowdecline48 about how things used to be different - it was a better place years ago. There was more freedom to write your thoughts honestly. There censor wasn't as bad. I mean I can't say it's all totally bad - I have learned some things here. But alot of it is just - fluff - "you're doing great! It'll all be ok just say this affirmation at midnight on the second full moon of each Tuesday." Like you said - I guess it's helpful to some but it doesn't work for me either
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slowdecline48 OP June 27th

@mytwistedsoul Yeah, that's the impression I've been getting from you & Cog here. Not a pleasant one but I can't say I'm surprised, as I've seen online communities go downhill before. Seems like 99 times out of 100, when an online community is established its best years come first, or after the initial startup phase....then, sooner or later--as inevitable as the sunset--the community passes its peak & slowly begins to slide downhill. I just wish I'd found 7Cups in its early years...oh well.

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slowdecline48 OP June 18th

Your Semi-Regular Reminder that the UN has Been Biased Against Israel Since At Least the Early 1970's


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As always, the UN reserves all its concern for the Palestinians. If thousands of Israelis were being taken out right now, High Commissioner Turk & co. wouldn't say a word. Whenever rockets or suicide bombers were inflicting casualties in Israel, it was business as usual in the halls of the UN.

slowdecline48 OP June 20th

Predicting the future is a tricky business, but reading the following passages this afternoon was sobering:

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If the author is right, we may not get back to 2% per year...maybe between 3 & 4%? If so, that would be harder for borrowers & easier for people with savings accounts...

slowdecline48 OP June 20th

The things I do to get enough sleep before an appointment... 🤦🏼‍♂️

...I never thought I'd feel any kind of gratitude for the maintenance peones riding the mower & using trimmers, but they actually helped me wake up this morning. I'm woozy & my tinnitus is piercingly loud right now...am not looking forward to going outside.

Yes, I need caffeine now...

"Better living through chemistry"

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mytwistedsoul June 20th

@slowdecline48 Ahhh caffeine 🤤 nectar of the god's. Be careful out there Slow. There's crazy people every where and it's hot AF. Hope the appointment goes alright 

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slowdecline48 OP June 21st

@mytwistedsoul Thanks, Twisty. It went well...better than expected, actually.

Right now it's too early to call but so far, things are looking good... I might be able to get my parcel of land this year. If it all works out--as of now, I think it will--I will only be in my apartment for another six months.

...yes, things are looking pretty good from here. 😎

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mytwistedsoul June 21st

@slowdecline48 Hey that's great news! Congratulations! I really hope it works out and you get your land! 😊 No more apartment living! No more having someone yell you what you can and can't do! It's exciting! 😁 You'll be able to build a shop to do your wood work! We gotta do a happy dance! 🥳 😁

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slowdecline48 OP June 21st

So in response to the good news I end up watching Jim Carrey in a clip from one of his weirder flicks... 😆 But seriously, thanks. Yeah, it might be a reason to celebrate in the next couple weeks or so.

1 reply
mytwistedsoul June 22nd

@slowdecline48 😁😂 It was a pretty weird movie 

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slowdecline48 OP June 21st

ACCIDENTAL HUMOR

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slowdecline48 OP June 21st

Gotta say I'm surprised this post is still up!...

The 7Cups algorithm is rather primitive, isn't it?

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slowdecline48 OP June 27th

LATE-NIGHT THOUGHTS, & A LITTLE DRUM-POUNDING

So the realtor & I started the ball rolling yesterday afternoon.

It will be a major life change, yes indeed... Gonna renew the lease one last time for the minimum period. Turns out it's seven months, not six. The rent will go up a little but I'm not sweating it. I'll stay in this place through hurricane season, but what I'm really paying for is time. Which I will put to good use. A move like this will require some serious preparation...some judicious purchases for needs, not wants (think canned foods, medical/first aid items, soap bars, bug repellent, etc). And a lot of work, as the more necessary things I build & not buy means more money saved. Also for skill review & development. Because when you go out into the bush (or the desert, swamp, etc.), what keeps you alive is focus & skills, not gear.

It will be a major adjustment. No doubt there will be rough days. Some days I'll have flareups & not be able to do much. That can't be helped. But by now I know what to expect & how to handle it...have even gotten used to it, somewhat.

I'm not the biggest, strongest, or fastest for the kind of venture that is coming...also I am no longer young. It will be difficult...at times, very difficult. But I believe I am up to the challenge. I have some unusual skills, & a few more tricks in my bag than most. Also experience: I lived out in the sticks for over two years, & have been on the streets three times. The less new you are to something, the better your chances.

So many years of freelancing, a few years hustling as a vendor, so many getting-by jobs, moving around, living tight...then discovering one of the cooks at the nearby WaHo is also a realtor (!)...all the years & all the miles wandering up to this point. I am so godd*mn hungry for it now.

This move & eventual build will be most challenging but I'm going ahead with it anyway. I will either succeed & eventually have a house & other things for self-sufficiency, or d!e trying. If it's the latter then I'm fine with that. We all gotta kick the bucket sooner or later, after all...the only choice left to us is the way we d!e. I'd rather d!e with my boots on. It's the only way to go, in my book. And when I go, let it be on my own land as a master of my domain instead of in some ratty little 1BR place, only discovered rotting in the hallway a few weeks after missing the rent.

...yes, it is coming. And my time is now.

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mytwistedsoul June 28th

@slowdecline48  OMG This is awesome news Slow! Congratulations! 😀 

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slowdecline48 OP June 28th

@mytwistedsoul Thanks. Yup...one day my lifestyle may be similar to yours.

"happy dance"...

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mytwistedsoul June 28th

@slowdecline48 😀 definitely gotta do the happy dance! 😂  I know there's  alot of work a head of you but you took that first step! And the lease gives you time to start getting things together and making plans 

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slowdecline48 OP June 28th

[CW: VIDEO LINK, HORROR, "ADULT" SUBJECTS]

This song is inside my head now for no reason at all:

Feed My Frankenstein (the best cover!)

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mytwistedsoul June 29th

@slowdecline48 I was just listening to this earlier! 😂

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slowdecline48 OP June 29th

@mytwistedsoul 😆 Great minds...

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slowdecline48 OP June 29th

More Commentary on America's Decline, My Thoughts

[CW: A FOUL WORD, MY OPINIONS] (the latter probably always need a warning in here)

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Also, re Trump's calling Biden a "bad Palestinian" (the article is here):

Trump's coarseness aside, CAIR has no business criticizing him since CAIR & other outfits like it have been perpetrating antizionism and antisemitism since day one. The belief system they represent requires it, since its theological validity depends on invalidating Christianity & Judaism &, in practice, subjugating Christians & Jews. Also, "Islamophobia" is a term of casuistry. It is used as a rhetorical weapon by CAIR, ISNA & similar US-based orgs to deflect & suppress any criticism of their faith, regardless of whether said criticism is valid or not. That's not to say that prejudice against their faith communities doesn't exist; it does & it's wrong. A more valid (& honest) term would be "Muslim-phobia".