my journal: various subjects, opinionating, CW at times

The markets have been bullish 🐂 overall for months now...I'm a bit uneasy about it. They just don't make sense, given stubborn core inflation, ongoing Near East tensions & their effect on global oil shipping, uncertainty about the consequences of the AI revolution, etc. I am not alone in my suspicion, either:

The latter quote is from last week.

I have a question for all the pro-Palestine protestors, if they were interested in listening...

Just about everyone involved in the pro-Ham--er, pro-Palestine campus camps claims (s)he is involved because (s)he cares about the Palestinian people, is scandalized by the current war's casualty rate, etc. Consider the following:

There is currently an ongoing conflict between Armenia & Azerbaijan (a.k.a. Turkey's Mini-Me). Recently, several hundred thousand Armenians were displaced from the city of Artsakh once they realized they couldn't outfight their Azeri enemies. If they hadn't fled, they would all have been killed (those who refused to run or didn't move fast enough were killed). It was basically an Armenian nakba.

Also, since the Houthi militias in western/northern Yemen began firing missiles at passing ships, Saudi Arabia's military has restarted its attacks in Yemen. This is a revival of a war the Saudi government waged against the Houthis in earnest since 2015, after a few Houthi insurgents raided a town within Saudi territory proper & killed a few citizens. Their naval blockade around the heel of the Arabian peninsula is still going & has been there for years; the Saudi government maintains it to prevent the Houthis from receiving weapon shipments & support from Iran (the Houthis are a hard-core Shi'ite outfit, so it makes sense). It partly blocks everything else from coming in too; one of the results has been widespread famine in the Yemeni population--in addition to the hundreds of thousands already killed as collateral damage during the Houthi-Saudi conflict. The death toll is probably in the low millions now. So my question is this:

If you protest out of concern for the Palestinians as innocent human beings, then why haven't you protested about the above-mentioned catastrophes?

Because, I haven't seen or heard anything about that.

@slowdecline48 Probably partly because this doesn't fit in any where to cause a farther divide amongst people. Tbh I haven't heard much about this myself until the helicopter crash. They've already started pointing fingers at who caused the crash. Although they said that there was extremely dense fog which seems to be the mostly likely cause imo

@mytwistedsoul Ah yes, the crash that killed PM Raisi. Israel's government put out a preemptive announcement: "It wasn't us"...because of course all the usual suspects will blame Israel. "The Mossad did it!" 🙄

@slowdecline48 Yeah there's fingers pointing in every direction. And tbh I wonder if he really is d*ad. And the UN had a moment of silence for him *smh* 

@mytwistedsoul Yeah, it's sickening. I'm pretty sure he's dead at this point. Not that it will change anything in Iran...another official close to Khameinei will most likely take the throne. Many Iranians were celebratory upon hearing on Raisi's demise, despite the considerable risk of acting that way in public. Those Persian dissidents have more courage than many national leaders & UN-affiliated bureaucrats, by far. Perhaps that isn't a big surprise.

@slowdecline48 You're right. Someone else will fill his shoes and chances are that person will be even worse in one way or another. I saw them celebrating and tbh my first thought was holy sh*t that's on camera. If the wrong person sees it there will be h*LL to pay

The "debate"* between Trump & Biden has been scheduled. It will be broadcast live on CNN on the big night. 🙄 If you'd like to know my thoughts, here's a snapshot of my response in a thread outside CupsLand:

@slowdecline48 I figure if nothing else it'll be a good laugh 

As a friend of mine said, we'll get to see the creases & folds of two old swamp goblins...

Here I am again.

Yeccchh.

More than half my life is gone...I devoted so many years to perfecting my art & learning crafts (mostly woodwork), only for my body to start falling apart in an unanticipated & rather early fashion. Finally learned how to use watercolor brushes as a result, but still...it is a net loss of output.

I grew up reading & drawing, took my studies seriously when I was in college until my senior year... Once the "new atheist" movement took off, I was in it for a few years & explored atheism, skepticism, secularism. Later I got bit by the history bug & went down a few rabbit holes from there. I cannot remember all the titles of what I read or all the history vids I watched & downloaded from You2b. Now I can't have a decent convo with most people--& not with practically everyone under 30.

All of the above made for a lonely life, now. Being mostly solitary & focused is one way to live...but age & time changes everything.

"Trouble in mind, I'm blue

But I won't be blue always

You know the sun gonna shine

In my back door someday"

- old blues standard

Today I am in a sufficient level of melancholia, such that I did another poem. You can read it here, if you're interested.

There are nightmares, & then there are dreams full of meaning you can't decipher right away...sometimes not at all. Tonight's dream started as the former & wound up as the latter.

Then I woke up into the usual...this. But with slight pain in my hips. Had that last night, too.

I can't remember the last time my father appeared in my dreams, if ever. I don't remember what he said. And he's been dead for about 20 years now.

In the last part of the dream all I wanted was to get back home...but it was a dream. You can't go home again. Because everything changes, always.

Except inside my head, where the same tune plays...a simple guitar refrain, sounding old as the hills.

I was going to make some lasagna tonight. Forget it...too tired. Forget it. The cooking can wait a couple days, or three.

Also, Steven Zapata is my homeboy. (Click on his name to see why I say that)

@slowdecline48 I haven't listened to the whole thing - probably about half of it but he really has a lot of good points and I've noticed a few things he talked about that I've been coming across 

Sunday was a full day...a good one all in all, but full. I went to a pottery class at an art gallery/antiques place in a part of town I never went to before. Made three little things, two of which would be fine to post here after they've been fired. The 3rd one...maybe. I dunno.

After that I had dinner. Got home a bit late. Spent Monday recovering from it all. Now it's early Tuesday morning, I have a slight headache & I'm hungry. This goes the life of a crippled artist/craftsman with an inability to focus for extended periods. 😜

@slowdecline48 That does sound like a good day! It's cool you went to a pottery class - have you done pottery before? 

@mytwistedsoul I did, in middle school & high school...an eon ago. 😄 I tried for a class when I lived in Austin but had to leave for some reason. I don't recall exactly why but it was probably health-related.

What I discovered this past Sunday is that while I can make passable vessels by "hand-building" techniques, I can't use a potter's wheel at all. 😂

As for focus, I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet. Am hoping I can still achieve greatness of some kind in the few years of people productivity I have left.

@slowdecline48 Cool! It's hopefully relaxing? Well maybe lol except for the potter's wheel. Which that probably wouldn't go that well for me either tbh 😂 There would be things flying everywhere! 

The members here post the "positivity" stuff because they're in a rough place (just like us, right?) & need something to keep them going. I'm not into it either, but I understand why they do it. What is definitely 🐂💩 is the notion of changing your life by repeating affirmations out loud when you're standing before a mirror. *smh* To me, that's one step from believing you can get rich & successful purely by "manifesting" things & staying in an "abundance mindset"... 🙄 If you're gonna do that, you might as well go all the way & wear a rabbit's foot on your belt.

@slowdecline48 *hides rabbits foot* (joking)  This is true - you're right. Some days I do feel sort of positive but yeah - standing in front of a mirror telling myself affirmations just makes me feel  foolish tbh. I mean I have tried it - ya know - that whole try anything at least once and see how it goes?

I hope the day is treating you good today Slow

- from investing.com

"Terrorism. Military conflicts. Rogue regimes pursuing nuclear weapons. A collapsing state here and there...A one-party state in China nervous about signs of unrest. Massive leaks of secret American documents. One can detect--just barely, mind you--a hidden creaking of worn-out structures behind such turbulence. That which is increasingly feeble has throughout history provided a semblance of form and stability to world affairs, even as the very idea of it has been hated: I am talking about empires."

- Robert D. Kaplan, Monsoon: The Indian Ocean and the Future of American Power (2010)

Have had it up to here with apartment life.

I may well find an alternative mode of living this year...if things play out as I'd like them to, if my efforts make it so.

It would be tough for the first two years at least, maybe three. But if I can maintain focus & endure, it all might work.

All I want is a place of my own, where I can do my projects without being bothered by anyone...where I can grow old & d!e. (One of my ideas involves building a sarcophagus for myself. Yes, I know it's weird)

This will probably demand much of me...I may not update this blog all that often. We shall see.

@slowdecline48 Hey good luck with all you work towards! I hope you post a few pictures of how things turn out. I am really curious about this sarcophagus!

@mytwistedsoul Your good thoughts are appreciated. Frankly I doubt I'll build it 😆 ...the sarcophagus was just an idea I had a while back. (I come up with more ideas than I will ever use) Right now it's not on the list of priorities.

Not-so-random thoughts:

The West dominated the rest of the world for roughly five centuries, first as European colonial powers & then as the United States. From what I've read since 2010 & what I've seen since '01, I wonder: was that just a blip?

The first true empires were in the Near East, after all...Assyria, Egypt, Persia. Then there's China...it's in a class of its own.

But technology has changed everything, especially since the mid-90's. The next great power will probably be in the east, but the one after that may not be limited to a particular territory.

...my crystal ball is quite murky.

Also: posted more chicken scratch at the bottom of the page, here (the other journal).

I have an appointment at 11 in the godd**n morning, came home tired as h€ll & right now I still can't sleep. 🤦🏼‍♂️

Christ & Moses in a minivan, this is f***ing ridiculous.

At times like this, I truly hate my body. Am starting to loathe it...a crippled, useless bag of meat, bones & fat. Why hasn't some scientist figured out how to build a cybernetic body that can support a human brain? I'm willing to volunteer for experimental trials. If one is about to start somewhere, sign me up.

...think I'll have to use chemical assistance this time. Hope I'm still good enough to do what I need to when the time comes. I don't want to reschedule, because time is of the essence.

Edit: Got a text from the guy I was gonna meet with, asking me to hold off on that because he needs to gather more info...after my struggle with trying to get some sleep before the alarm I set went off at 9 this morning.

I did finally pull it off, even though my sleep was broken. I went through all that just to read the text from D., a few minutes ago.

Right now one of the maintenance workers is riding around on a mower outside....

I should be p1ssed off, but for some reason I'm amused instead. Guess it's because this life is absurd. 😄

Even so, it is a struggle when you are a night person living in a world run by day people.

On a more positive note, the baked potato I had before going to bed wasn't bad... Pepper, paprika, a little salt & plenty of butter. That'll do the trick.

Fave comments for today:

I agree. The bullish trend cannot keep going no matter what.

[CW: current events, "adult subjects]

The above may depend on the outcome of Trump's remaining trials.

Also, while I am no fan of his & am unsurprised at his getting caught for something, the New York trial seems like a farce...more about humiliating the old man than anything else. NYC is famously Lib-Dem while Trump has been Republican since his run in 2016. While the situation re Stormy Daniels is distasteful, it's hardly worse than what a percentage of CEOs do during any given week. More generally, Trumpeldor is hardly the first man to order up a tryst...prostitution has been called the world's oldest profession for a reason.

Thank the deity of your choice for whoever invented long-play ambient soundtracks.

When you have Meniere's or a similar condition, sometimes you can't get any kind of a break without it.

Errrgghhh...

...well, sh!t.

Think I'm coming down with a cold or something. Given the weather forecast for my area (one word: rain), it's obvious I won't get out much this week.

I'll be back when I get back.

@slowdecline48 Oh man having a cold sucks! 😞 I hope it doesn't get too bad. Warm weather colds are the worst. Feel better soon Slow and take good care of you! 

@mytwistedsoul Thanks. It could be cold, or a sinus infection...I tend to get sinus infections at certain times of the year. One of my talents is growing bacteria--without even trying! 😂

@slowdecline48 Oh that sucks worse than a cold. Living in a humid place probably doesn't help. Is there something you can take to help prevent them? Like probiotics help good bacteria? *omg my phone has emojis for that* 😂