in the wonders of my mind💗.

whatd Ring wjth me

whats worng its m

why am I trying 

tf

I can’t :’)

bro I keep hearibg smth

idk

bye

@iloveyouxx I hope you're ok 💙 I've been a little concerned about you. You had that episode? I'm not sure what to call it? 

CW ?? Idk this is jst a very *very* annoying post to read like idk but if ur gonna read pls read to the end 😭 trust. okay byee <3 im srry 

now that I got to the end- im rlly sorry 😭  I feel bad. ik I don’t need to say all of this stuff I jst wanted to nd it’s not even a portion of everything whatever it is tho it’s annoying like im very aware of that. :> 

actualky 

probabkt dont read 

well

if ur 10000000000000% sure u can handle me nd u can stay with me through whatever this is nd u think u can still talk to me then

why not gang

anyways

u got this

go you!!!!

<33<3<3<3<3333

hey guys

no im good 

idk what to call it either

but

yh it was

:’) 

also that day I did faint in lead (bs I was in the bathroom at the time) and dw no one cared so no one found out or anything like it took a minute to ground nd process but then I jst checked the time checked what class I have nd went to reception and registered nd pretended I jst got to school then went to the class I had then 

also that day in maths it was jst normal crazy nd everything then someone says smth abt the way I look and literally everyone goes silent and looks at me like it was *** 

bro

u could hear it if a pin dropped to the floor when I tell u it was quiet

but then my friend said smth like “whyre you being so judgy” and even his friends started defending me nd everyone started judging him 😭 

bro even a long time after when the class was like loud whatever talking again this random girl jst literally started yelling at him 😭 bro he was acting tough but u could tell this *** was scared as ***

anyways

i had french after nd

i 

it was like a free lesson cs last week whatever bs I didn’t talk to anyone like the whole class everyone around me was talking being loud laughing nd I was..

holy *** 

I was like

i was jst

bro

i was sitting nd I was like looking at smth kinda down nd my whole body was shaking not even jst my legs bro I was shaking I was jst shaking nd I had a straight face on but I had tears rolling down my face throughout that whole hour

nd yk when u feel a stare like. u feel someone staring at u nd ur kinda attracted towards that direction like idk how to explain it but sometimes when someone’s staring at u rlly hard or not necessarily but u jst don’t have to see it even in the corner of ur eye u jst feel it like u already know they’re staring at u 

yh so I felt that with the most random guy so I look up at him and omg

u could say maybe he was jst sad maybe he was jst think abt smth maybe he was jst looking at me 3adi no bro 

u could say that but if u saw the way he was looking at me *** oh my god 😭 

the

empathy

was 

so

so

so

***

strong.

nd we kinda held it for a minute then he looked at smth else with that same face but now he jst looked like the life was sucked out of him 

:’) 

also someone in the year supposedly has been going around stealing ppls things from girls and boys 

andd 

yh so around that week a lott of things went missing

soo a lot of ppl went to our hoy 

hoy checked cctv 

here’s the thing

most of the things that went missing

went missing

during 

pe 

the stuff that went missing were all in school bags ofc and in pe all ur stuff is in changing rooms and by the end of pe bags were found open with missing things 

so

theres no cameras in changing rooms

but she can check who walked in and out how long it took if they were alone etc 

and

yk whats crazy

i went in the changing rooms at some point during pe 🤯

so

I kinda got lectured for 15 minutes while I was already crying then they did a bag search and omg u won’t believe 

it wasn’t me 😰😱

like

how 

how could I go in the changing rooms when there were other ppl in there and other ppl that went after me jst to get my water bottle and not because I was stealing *** 

yk what’s crazier 

they found out it definitely wasn’t me because they found out who it rlly was 😟 

a girl in our year that has a literal condition that makes her steal other ppls things and not be able to control it 

but bro what are u on abt abt why would they look into me before the girl that literally has *** kleptomania like ?? yk what im like 

also 

wednesday I had isolation. 

like. 

as in

i was in behavioral support room all day at school on Wednesday 

not allowed to leave for anything 

2 other guys in my year were there

they were involved in the same fight 

nd they ended up there

nd

i ended up there 

cs 

I got caught 

w

vape.

anyways

im not smart tf

but thank you guys

im *** tho

but

thank you 

also

i don’t think my love lifes ever been more complicated in my life 

bro

i dont even wanna talk abt it 

im not okay 

im not good

*** since when did I vape I don’t even know 

and whend I start being like this in general like first of all

im jumping from guy to guy sometimes there’re multiple guys at the same time

i feel like a player 

im hurting ppl because im scared of them hurting me nd I lost someone I cared abt so *** much 

I hope everyone that hurts me now jst *** dies bcs u don’t understand who u have to be nd what u have to do to hurt me now 

I jst

dont 

care

i don’t give a *** abt anyone or anything

im being so straight up 

I dont

I jst don’t care 

bro

im sneaking out 

I vape 

im lying to everyone to go out with awful ppl 

I always feel high it’s not even a joke yk those ppl that always look like they’re on smth like the way they talk nd their eyes are always half open 

that’s becoming me 

bro

if u jst

almost hurt me

u havent hurt me yet 

but u might

Im jst

beckming so mean :’)

nd I leave 

im leaving ppl 

bcs im scared

im leaving ppl I care abt to smoke w ppl I don’t even like

yk I got kicked out right

like im being serious 

my dad kicked me out the house

bs ya3ni im back now 

sm has happened 

like idk how many bfs I have and how many talking stages and how many guys I like and how many like me 

I vape and im already getting addicted 

I don’t care abt anything not even in a depressing way like

***

u shld see me when someone’s yelling at me

like my dad

id literally jst go “okay bro it’s not that deep” nd loud 

“it’s rlly not that deep gang” “idk bro it’s kinda not that deep”

nd i used to hate it when ppl said that. 

yk im on apps im not supposed to be on

but every time i close whatever devuce Im on i delete the apps nd every time im on again i jst redownload nd log in 

nd i stay up all night talking to ppl on there but im not sleep deprived i sleep in the day 

yk how i was doing so good nd i was like washing my hair on these days everything shower this day studying at these times 

thats all gone. 

idk like

i feel like this is an annoying post like genuinely 

i need a cw 

but

i jst feel fake nd i feel like a player nd i feel like a bad person i feel like *** I feel weak I feel awful all the time I feel like I have no sympathy anymore I feel like a bad influence like I feel like I still care abt some ppl on here a lot nd i jst want them to stop talking to me bc I’d probably hurt them. i feel like jst..them. when i say the rlly horrible things I say it’s like i mean it nd it feels like it’s kind of jst me now but I don’t want it to be 

btw no one needed this but if ur gonna say smth annoying get out ;-; like for example

trynna talk abt how this is sad or yh u noticed I was changing or u miss the old me or yk u can control ur actions or like why whatever 

get out. 

…

anyways

im tired

my finegrs 

ate going nuumb 

idek why like im giod 

anyways 

bye

help 😭 tf was that so long for 

it only looks long cs I have a lot of short sentences or even jst words like under each other for no reason at all but trust I don’t even think I say that much 

mazam 

I wanna sleep 

so

i can skeep

im sleepy enoubh to slelep 

but

i jst

wanna sleep 

wuthiht sleepung 

hw do u feel hyper nd dead at the swme time

btw the thping im fune 

my bldy went numbagain thj 

like 

mmy hands are stuckinappp specifxi say 

bro

*** 

bye

ttuxuc