quack.

xD.

You tried your best to make me believe in myself.

you tried your best to make me feel better.

You tried to make me feel loved.

You tried everything.

I get it.

Most people left me....

because they thought i didnt try.

and they are right.

i didnt try.

I didnt try to love myself.

I never did.

and what?

and what can we do?

love me or hate me.

it doesnt matter anymore.

love tore me to bits.

and so.....

self love also tore me apart.

you dont have to be nice to me.

i promise.

i dont wanna be a burden.

im sound selfish.

i sound really arrogant.

but really....

now i cant care less about myself.

neither do i care about what anyone thinks of me.

think whatever you like.

Bunny

bunny should really go now. but yeah... spam me with whatever you like on here xD. ive kinda given up on this forum if im honest.

beep. beep. beep. beep. beep.

Boop. ahwehaiothwai3etiowhw.

aaaaaaa.... idk what im doing...

Everything got messy.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"your making excuses"

A few people mentioned this in chatrooms to me and around here so here I am. I am going to clear everything for you.

so im making excuses? I'm using my trauma as an excuse? I'm using all this as an excuse? okay. Yeah. You can think of it that way. It's like saying past trauma is fake or it won't affect me. You tell me to get myself back together. To grow up and get up. To get over it. It's like telling someone to forget everything. But things that happened in the past still happened to me today. Tell me. Tell me it was all fake. Tell me that it wasn't real. Tell me I have no friends. When you haven't heard the whole story, don't ask me to get over it. I might bring the past up a lot. But I don't use this as an excuse. I am still here. Breathing. I haven't given up. I haven't left the world. I keep fighting every day. Don't play with my brain. Dont. Because these aren't excuses. This is me telling my story. And my story doesn't end here. My story keeps going. My story will get passed one. From one generation to another. If I have children I won't make them go through the same thing I went through. And yeah. Go ahead. Tell me anything you like. Tell me. Any words you got to say? And maybe I have a different version of my own story. Maybe I hate myself. and what? I will learn to love myself. I will take all the time I want. But if I don't love myself now what's the problem? I can learn and grow. My silence was a danger. I was scared to disappoint anyone. And what? I got fire inside of me. Sometimes that fire burns. And when that fire gets really dangerous..... I burst. I get it. I am small. I am only 13. I get that everything I say doesn't matter anyways. To you, it won't matter. Because you think it's just an excuse to give up. Do you know what really matters to me right now? Me and my brother. And yeah , go on. turn on me. tell me im weak. go. say it. go say I was making life an excuse. Go say that I was a great person who just cant succeed. Because you know..... I will scream and I will smile and I will laugh and I will cry. And you can't stop me. If I was such a bad person, why are you here? why are you standing beside me? Go. Please. I can't plead people to stay with me. If my story and my words dont matter to you, then dont hear my words. Dont listen to my words. Dont even look at me. And yeah. haha. Im vulnerable. And so find it easy to play with my brain. But I have a heart. Its so soft and bouncy. If anything tries to hurt me I have always tried to stay strong. And I am still here. I'm not afraid anymore. Because with all my heart......I have nothing else left of me. Just me and my love and my heart. I wasn't treated like a human. But I know I am one.

Bunny

The Note.

School 04/05/23

Today someone at school passed me a racist note. Today someone at school passed me a note to have a fight. Today I got a note about me.

Ain't it funny. That people think they can pass a note and laugh about it.

You scrunch up the piece of paper in your hands tightly. Hands into a fist. You want to burn. You want it all to stop.

You feel like a mop that gets dragged across the ground. You pull yourself together but can't hold your tears back.

And maybe it's just your sensitivity. And maybe it's not a big deal to them but it's a big deal to you.

The way they laughed and had a joke and the way they don't know about the pain inside of you.

And your burning to scream and shout and tell the world you couldn't care less.

How one note changed me today.

How one not changed me years ago...

How one note changes me in the future.

How the world crumbles in my very hands.

I'm sorry.

Bunny

i am sorry

I am sorry. My posts have been broken into bits lately. I dont write properly. I am sorry to PAT. I have not been enough lately. Ive broken myself. Im just lost. I need someone to guide me to make sense of life. Im just trying to be strong and to keep it all together. I have been struggling. Alot. I normally check on people but my life has been so *** I cant. I am trying, i promise im trying. I just need time. I know its a huge mistake to think i have time. because things are coming to an end for me. and everything is messed up. On sunday im turning 14. im growing up. but my life is stuck in these thoughts. im trying. I just need time. i need something to lean on. Please be patient with me. I might loose it and become angry. But I promise its not me going crazy on you. Its not me hating you. Because from you all who know me well, i dont hate you. Im trying. im just trying to be a normal teenager. I promise I will get back to all of you. Just give me the kindness and time i want. I dont need anything from you. I know things are hard right now, but i love you all. and I am so so so sorry for everything.

Bunny

its okay

its okay. its okay if your lost. its okay if your confused. its okay if your angry. its okay if your upset. its okay if your happy. I know the world crumbles to pieces in our very hands. Its okay if you dont know what your doing or who you are. And i know it might no seem okay to you because it feels like all these feelings are what we call "wrong". That we dont deserve this. And of course we dont deserve to feel such negative emotions because they hit us so hard. But when we grow just a little and look back, you will find this sense of love and strength and worth. Because our darkness is our way to our light and our happiness. Our life is right here. Right there. We are alone but together. We are sad but we light our candle. And we go to that mindset again. Is it too late? Did I waste my life? Was this life even worth it? And you doubt everything. You doubt your life. You doubt on your existence. You scream and you cry. You overthink every word. You overthink what people said. You get angry. But we all fight ourselves. We beat ourselves up for everything. Our life is a fight between us and ourselves and that world. Because that world you living in is unpredictable. It's a crazy world. There will be a day you feel like no one understands you. There will be a day you feel alone. Where you want to give up and hide from the world. In the end, we are all lost. In this beautiful puzzle.

Bunny

Guess what?

This forum hit 20 pages of idk what. And lots of people. Lol. I remember when I first started this forum 😀 even @Sunisshiningandsoareyou probably remembers lol. It feels like yesterday when I created this forum 🤧🤧 but but .. many people on cups ask me to be nice to myself at least once so guess what?

Next post is going to be me being nice to myself😀

Congratulations! You all have finally convinced bunny to do a post to be nice to herself. 🤧 It's going to be a tough challenge. But lol. We will see.

Better get excited lol.

Bunny

Dear Bunny

Hi,

i guess your talking to yourself hey?

but wait....

Do you want to know something?

The world crumbled you into small pieces.

But you have been so strong.

You have been so beautiful.

So courageous.

You fought the world.

You didn't let anyone defeat you in the war.

When no one believed in you in the world.

You kept going.

Bunny..

Your loved.

Your beautiful.

Your seen.

Your heard.

And even tho the world can't see it just yet.

You will.

And I know that people have said alot of things.

But you smiled.

You still show your beautiful heart.

Bunny.

Whatever happend in the past.

Is gone.

But we come together.

To create a future.

Of our own.

I knew you wanted to change the world when you were 7.

Remember?

When your little brother would come out with his superheroes and you would come out with your dolls?

When you used to think that dolls could save the world.

But then one day....

All your dolls disappeard.

Everything got torn apart.

But not all superheroes have capes Bunny.

When you made someone smile.

It changed the world.

When you try to be there for your loved ones.

It changed the world.

When you tried and kept going.

You changed the world.

Yet we cant forget about your words.....

Words can be ugly.

But some words are a bubble in the sky that fly so high.

Dont Bunny.

Keep going.

At the end, its just me and you.

Me and you.

Me and myself.

Me and my heart.

Me and my love.

Me and my mind.

I.

am.

Bunny.

its my last day being 13 tommorow is my birthday T-T