@amiableBunny4016 *hugssss* ❤

tw/abuse, death, lots of triggering stuff.... and blah blah blah

Do you wanna talk about it? -Bunny-

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"uhh...no im good. Really dont worry.. Im fine. ......"

What I didn't tell anyone:

"Do you wanna talk about it?'

"i wake up in tears. hiding every single thought inside of me. pulling myself together. Can't look at myself in the mirror. Can't look at my skin. Can't look at my eyes. Can't look at my scars. Can't watch the world and smile. Can't be bad because all i say is I am good. Can't stand up for myself. Can't scream. Can't cry. Can't be. Can't smile. Can't fake it all because i get all caught up. Can't breathe. Can't do anything. And do you know what? I am sick and I am tired and I am done. Caught up in my hopelessness. Caught up in the words people throw into my head. Caught up in the chaos. Caught up in the shouting. Caught up in the slap. Caught up in the punch. Caught up in this world that pulls me so heavily. And I am stuck in these thoughts. Wheather existence was just a mistake or reality. Wheather we breathe and suffocate. Or breathe fresh air. Can't be loved. Can't be perfect. Can't be Bunny. I am sorry. I can't learn to love myself but people tell me I will. Can't tell you I love you because I am on edge of thin ice. Pull me. break me. suffocate me. And there I am.. still alive. still standing. do you hear me mom? do you hear my voice dad? what about you? hey..... just look into my eyes. please.. just look at me..... do you hear me? do you love me? do you care for me? what about my haters? My bullies? the people who didn't listen to my voice for one second... listen to me. i hate me too. okay? you happy? go on then....... do the thing you always do. suffocate me with your words till i pass away. and when i do pass away, dont mourn me. because i wont ever be there.

bunny

@amiableBunny4016,

not gonna lie but i dont know why people read my ***. im surprise anyone even follows it . 😂

heyo,

Well, Bunny has not been here for a bit. bunny has really got pressure on :') a bit of school pressure. home life pressure. and a lot of everything pressure 😭 welcome to my world 🌺 where everything is messed up yet I still decide to stand here and survive 😂 anyways, here we go 😜 first of all i hope you all are doing okay 🙈 if not, then *hugs if okay*. If not, just know I am here for you and we care about you. Okie? ❤️ You deserve to be here <3

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

So Bunny has been hesitant with poems. I had 2 ideas :') and so I have to pick one for one post 😭 because 2 just sounds ridiculous and I am really weird and freaking silly 🌺 maybe if i find courage I will post the other one. So the 2 options were this :

1. "If only" Poem by Bunny

2. "Never will I forget" Poem by Bunny

I was gonna say you all could vote 😂 but i might post the other one later not gonna lie. Or i might end up posting both. Okay... enough of my blabber babber....... Here we gooo.....

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

If Only - Poem

If only I could wipe a tear for every human being out there.

Who struggle, who cry, who scream, and those who sigh.

If only I could turn the world into daisies and flowers.

Then no thorn would be stuck in our roots.

Your beauty does not come from your petals but from your heart.

Your colors are as beautiful as the light blue sky and the pigeons who fly so high.

If only I could sing a song, and you would sing along.

A song the world would hear, and those who sing to care.

The song we could smile and laugh to.

The song that made us who we are.

If only we could sit in the fields.

Watch the Sun rise and set.

and remember the last time we met.

If only we could do that pillow fight once more again.

Throw the pillows across the room.

Laugh and hide and play those games again and again.

If only we could play jokes over the last tomato left on the plate.

Who would eat it? Who would not?

If only I could give you the smile and laughter you so deserved.

That the dark night sky could not shine some light upon you.

The tunnels you crossed were as dark as the sky above you.

But you came across glimmers and cracks of light.

This all seemed like a fight.

If only I could hug you and love you.

Hold you tight inside and never let go.

If only I could open my eyes and say that I love you.

Open my heart and say "hello"

If only I could read books to you at night....

Follow every word with my slim, pencil-like fingers.

Speak every word with love and compassion.

And end the story with the same "happy ending".

Where the princess got married to the prince.

And I never saw you ever since.

A glimpse of you in your bed tucked into the deepest sleep we could ever imagine.

Who knows what dreams follow inside your head?

In that bed of comfort and joy.

And when I turned off the lights, you still slept.

If only I could stop the war and the disaster.

And send a plaster to those stuck in the wounds and scars.

If only I could watch you be yourself.

Show your true colors and see yourself.

And maybe one day, you will see your worth.

And maybe one day, you will see your beauty.

Maybe one day..... we will see each other.

If only we chose kindness and love.

If only hatred and disaster would go.

If only you could listen to your heart....

And tell your mind to let go......

If only I could watch this happen again.

and again.

and again.

If only life lasted forever.

If this moment lasted a million years....

I would do this all over again.

watch this whirlpool grab up together.

If only the clock brought us back in time...

Say goodbye to the woeful night amongst us.

If only the skies would be light forever.

If only this moment....

would last a million years.

If I could change my life.

I would rewrite it over and over again.

Watch the world fluster and argue.

But let the stars meet the ocean.

Let the sky meet the Sun.

And the moon comes again....

Yet I still sit here.

And if only.....

@YourCaringConfidant @mysteriousClover @Sunisshiningandsoareyou @Jefferythebunny319 @Emberbliss and everyone who follows this little path :')

Bunny

@amiableBunny4016

❤❤❤ love you bunny

@Jefferythebunny319

awww. Love you too🌺

forgot to tagg so sowwy. my mind gone crazzy.

@TabbyCat97

@amiableBunny4016 Ohhh Bunny, what an absolutely beautiful poem. Very well written. It is soon good to hear from you again. Your poetry tells a story and I love it. It amazes me the talent you possess at your age. ♡ You are just amazing. Hope things calm down at school and at your home life. Hugs.

@amiableBunny4016.

Took me sometime to get my emotions on check.... First and for most - Thank you so much for remembering me. It means a lot . Hugs you back super tight .

Hmm...pressure isn't pleasant. And yet we all are surviving , big yay to that 😁 ; because ,why not ! It's a miracle in itself when life is shell bend to pester us sometimes.

I would kiss an absolute stranger's feet , if it means I will have words flowing through my finger tip as it does from yours. No jokes. I am so proud that you share yours with us , I don't see myself doing that in the near future. Takes so much willingness to let others see the purest and the most delicate form of once emotions and thoughts. Being hesitant doesn't make you sound silly or weird. In our defence, we are humans . I would love to read "Never will I forget" too , when or if you find it comfortable ^^.

The peom is beautiful. And i mean very phrase of it. You poured your emotions onto a sheet so soothingly, gave them their own voice, their own tiny stash of words to speak for themselves ; and they talk to every soul differently . This is how I heard it-

It was a fairy godmother to me. Reminding me how precious this moment is. To never take "tiny" things for granted...This was such a heart felt and thoughtful reminder 💗 . You have my deepest gratitude for sharing it with us and mentioning me with your post.

"Your beauty does not come from your petals but from your heart" - I love how simply and yet so clearly it explains a good heart shines so much more bright over everything one has got in their life. Most of us get almost everything permanent by birth, there is nothing to be proud or guilty about it , because we didn't do anything to get it . But an understanding mindset ? A kind heart ? A strong soul ? A knowing eyes ? That's a true accomplishment one must feel proud of , because "Your beauty does not come from your petals but from your heart" and if you have become beautiful, you deserve to give yourself the credit for it too.

We are there for you too . Just one tag away in my case . You too deserve all the goodies in life , actually- scratch that , you deserve the best after everything you have to be through ❣️ . Let's hope life gets it's brain back and decide to be a little bit fair. Senting lots of love care and hugs your way.

is anyone else having the same expereince? I am trying to pm listeners but its not working? every time i pm it just doesnt go through. i refresh and no message gets sent? is it a glitch or something?

heylo,

okay never mind. glitch will get fixed :') soo.... just wanted to thank you all for your support and love💜 you all are so so beautiful and lovely. Everyday I come here with something new, a new person with a unique loving heart and you all make me feel so special 💐 I am sending you so many hugs if its okay, because if i turned the world upside down, i wouldn't be able to thank you enough! Thank you for everything😄 You all make my days brighter. Keep being you. Because you are just a wonderful human💝 I was reading some old replies to my poems and stuff and I am so so grateful for every single one of you with your unique, bold, strong, fantabulous hearts💜 You all deserve all the love and happiness in the world. And thats all i will wish for you all. Please look after yourselves and stay amazing! Bunny has got alot of stuff going on so i may reply late. but i love you all more than you ever think!

Bunny

@amiableBunny4016,

Hugs you back 🤗 Glitches are annoying, don't know how to fix it though. Always up for cheering you up. It's okay if you have been busy. We all are , at times. But that's where the beauty of forums comes in , it's here till one can take out time to check out 😄. Unique , bold strong and fabulous hearts...hmmm I know one more person like that...oh spotted! you are right there reading this . Be kind and caring to yourself too. Senting lots of love your way ^^

Hey

They did an assembly on mental health awareness week at school. Some words filled my heart. Others came out through my tears. I looked down so no one could see me. Let the tears drop . Let myself not look at myself. Because if I held my head high it wouldn't always be as it appears. I let the sadness define me. I let everything define me. It was my fault. Now I understand. The reason for the pain and the bushes I got trapped in were my fault. And you can call me a coward and a stubborn girl . You can hate me. You can come and beat me again. It's fine. It's all good. It's really *** hard to breathe.

Bunny

@amiableBunny4016

*Sits beside you and hugs you *

@amiableBunny4016 hugs if ok

you are not alone you have people on cups

life. one day you will feel really excited and over the moon. the next day you feel like *** and want to scream in the middle of nowhere. in a few weeks, everything breaks apart. Then life will get back into its wave again, happy, sad, angry, excited, nervous, smiley, hyper and etc.....

what life taught me : shut up, grow up, get up.

what life was meant to tell me : ..........................

what i feel: -

what people see in me: -

what i see in myself- utter destruction and chaos

@amiableBunny4016 , quite true @-@

the world was pulled from beneath me.

im sorry. im sorry mom and dad. i never knew having a child was so traumatising that you could abuse them. thank you for letting me know how powerful i am after this generational trauma.

@amiableBunny4016

anyone there? mom and dad are getting a divorce i think :') anyone want a hug? i need it desperately

@amiableBunny4016 *sitting with bunny and hugging tightttt* ❤❤❤

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

@amiableBunny4016

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

is there anyone to guide me out of this darkness? or do i have to do it alone sun?

@amiableBunny4016

Bunny's inner light is bright enough to poof all the darkness around her, in the dark is also when Bunny shines her brightest though, but but we don't need to tackle anything alone or just now, at once. ❤

It's okie to take your time, Bunny, I can sense a lot is happening at once, can imagine how awfully overwhelming and stressful it must be. :( Allow kindness in, seek support when you need okie, it's a brave thing to do and hold onto a hand coming for you or reach out yourself~ I'm so sure yours is a hand anyone would want to hold onto, myself included *holds Bunny's hand*. ❤

We're gonna try breathing through the storms together. One breath at a time, mhm?❤

*keeps hugging*

@amiableBunny4016

*Sits with you *

*clasp you in my arms*

*giving you the biggest tightest and longest warm hug *

*As long as you need it *

@amiableBunny4016 , It might be some tough days for your parents too. All of us will say a lot of hurtful comments when we are in distress. Things which aren't true. Mostly because they are overwhelmed my hurt , fear or anger. Please try not to take what they say as an absolute truth .

@amiableBunny4016

*Sill hugging you *

I will be the last one to let go , promise.

@amiableBunny4016,

I don't know if you need this . But I am sending it to you. From now own you might feel a range of big emotions - range , shame , helplessness , guilt , confusion , hopelessness etc take over until you are left numb . But always remember , eventually, you will make sense of every emotion. You will be able to take baby steps here too. Let those people who care for you to sit with you , while you move through this phase . Some schools offer support for kids whose parents are separating, and many counselors work to improve mental health or sense of well-being for them . Since you are a teenager , there are many places you could get support ( sometimes even for free) without your parents having to know or be involved. Don't be under the impression that I want you to do any of these. No , I just want you to know that there is a helping hand out there , if you need one . Also , always remember you are welcome here .

replied to the wrong post

Forever - Bunny

I see your heart in the sky.

I see your hands in your heart.

I see your thoughts in your mind.

Your fragile skin, your black eyes glittering in the sun, your beautiful hair......

I want to grasp onto you forever.

But I am breaking down.

On the brink of collapse.

My head in my knees.

I don't know if I can change.

And it burns inside my heart to let go of you.

I am counting the seconds.

Holding my breath.

Running.

I'm sorry.

I'm letting go.

Forever.

Forever.

Forever.

F o r e v e r.

And there I was alone.....

In the world where I .....

Let go.

Bunny

@amiableBunny4016

"When your job becomest

oo much for you to handle,

or if it's that,

you just can't get one...

take off that worry,

and leave it there.

Sing a song,

and say a prayer.

It will be alright"

~Darryl Goodner

i went cycling today. after the chaos of home life. after my mom and dad argue. i went really fast. i cycled really hard. pushed onto the pedals. and then i fell off the cycle. my shoes got stuck on the pedal. i had no control over it. found a huge bruise and cut on my knee. i sat there. some tears came out of my eyes......

then the memories came back. when things werent abusive or chaotic. when my parents were fine.

i was learning how to ride a bike. when i fell off, they would help me back up and tell me to keep going. put plaster on my cuts. encourage me. and give me a hug.

today i had. no one. i got back up on my own. its just one of those days...... nights.........hours......seconds.........

and it hurts.

bunny

@amiableBunny4016 , *sits with you *

don't.

ever.

stand.

by.

me.

when.

our.

friendship

or

relationship

hurts.

because.

i.

i know.

love hurts.