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@amiableBunny4016 space

amiableBunny4016 November 20th, 2022

Hi everyone,

Im gonna be posting here every week. So.. you may or may not have seen my poems across 7cups or my writing. Anyways, if you have not then thats okay.

Let me introduce myself. You can call me Bunny/Violet/Bun Bun. I am from the UK and I am 13 years old. So I came here to inspire, to love, to show kindness and to be respected. The biggest power on this planet is love and kindness. Humanity is in a state of disaster. Panic. Hatred. But hate never beats love. Because love has more power than hate.

I was bullied for over 6 years. I learnt alot across the years. I learnt to overcome. Learnt to love. Learnt to forgive. I am human. I am not a robot. I am not a stranger anymore. I am me. And if people wanna judge me for who I am then I say.... I forgive them. And I know that they can change.

Like Martin Luther King once said, “Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.”

Humanity is changing. The world is awakening. And more and more people are realising the reality. The reality of social media. The reality of trauma. The reality of life. This is who we are. And together we form as 1.

We live in a big world. Scary. Isn't it? But its to beautiful. Its so beautiful how the sun rises. How then stars glimmer every night. How the wind howls. Isn't it? and we dont realise how beautiful it really is until..... we think about it. Think deeply about it and you will find how beautiful it is.

If your feeling alone right now. just know that.....

Your strong. Even if you dont believe it.

Your worthy. Even if you dont believe it.

You can get through this.

I am here for you.

We are here for you.


Thanks for reading, This is me, Bunny and this is my world.

Take care,

Bunny

4260
amiableBunny4016 OP February 29th

ugh so much  school work to do and deal with this *** guy. *** this.

amiableBunny4016 OP March 1st

The amount of school work is going to kill me

amiableBunny4016 OP March 1st
1 reply
mytwistedsoul March 1st

@amiableBunny4016 Very sad song 😞

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amiableBunny4016 OP March 1st

is anyone here? i just need someone's presence whilst i cry.

7 replies
mytwistedsoul March 1st

@amiableBunny4016 *sits with Bunny and offers safe hugs* 💙 

@amiableBunny4016 @mytwistedsoul

*sits with you both if okay*

5 replies
amiableBunny4016 OP March 1st

@LoveMyMoonflowers @mytwistedsoul

........ i hate that i've cried tears most of my life. i hate this. i can't. no matter how much i keep going and convincing myself.... it hurts more. it hurts. it *** hurts. i cant.

2 replies

@amiableBunny4016

*hugs you tight if okay*

amiableBunny4016 OP March 1st

I'm freaking done. I'm freaking done with fighting and arguing and protecting myself. I'm tired. I give up. 

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mytwistedsoul March 1st

@LoveMyMoonflowers *hugs Moon* Of course it's ok 💙

1 reply

@mytwistedsoul

:') 

💜

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amiableBunny4016 OP March 1st


....... 


Are you kidding me 



I'm having no meeting with an safeguarding leader


Just no. 

6 replies
mytwistedsoul March 1st

@amiableBunny4016 I'm not sure exactly what one of those does. Keeps you safe yeah? Is there a reason why you don't want to? No pressure to answer of course

5 replies
amiableBunny4016 OP March 1st

@mytwistedsoul

There is one at school...they just are in charge of safeguarding children and preventing abuse and ***. 


And they want to meet me. 


Idk why. 

4 replies
mytwistedsoul March 1st

@amiableBunny4016 But - thought you wanted the school to get involved. It seems like a good thing considering everything that you've been going through

I'm sorry if I'm wrong in my thinking

3 replies
amiableBunny4016 OP March 1st

@mytwistedsoul

Idk. It's kinda scary. :') it freaks me out. Like it's good..  but it's terrifying 

2 replies
mytwistedsoul March 1st

@amiableBunny4016 I think it's understandable to be afraid. At least now someone is paying attention ya know? This is help. And you're so brave. I know it doesn't feel like it right now. This makes her be accountable and won't just help you but your brother too 💙

amiableBunny4016 OP March 2nd

@mytwistedsoul

well.. im meeting her monday afternoon just after i finish my exam..... so.... i have till monday to contemplate my life lol. 💙 oof. 

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mytwistedsoul March 2nd

@amiableBunny4016 That's good! I'd like to speak from the heart now ok? It might sound a little harsh. You can think about it or totally disregard all of it ok? 

I'm sure you're probably very nervous and scared to meet her and I really understand that - I honestly do. BUT - this is your chance. You're chance to change things. Maybe you struggle alittle with loyalty. Loyalty to your family so what happens at home sometimes feels like it should stay at home. The thing to remember is that she doesn't share the same sentiment. She isn't loyal to you or your brother. She brings strange men into your home and you've already been abused by them. Eventually your brother might forced to do things too. The things that you've been through were not your choice and definitely NOT your fault.  It's not going to get better without some outside help. This could help her get counseling for her grief and it will hold her accountable for her abuse. It will also help your brother and you're an excellent big sister who cares about her brother. You try very hard to keep him safe 

If you're dishonest with this safe guarding person - it's over. You lose this chance and it will be almost impossible to get them to take you seriously ever again

I know it's a lot. You've got a lot of responsibility put on your shoulders right now. But you are strong and brave. I believe in you Bunny. I believe you are strong and brave enough to do what's needed to make a better future for you and your brother 💙 

6 replies
amiableBunny4016 OP March 2nd

@mytwistedsoul

soul, can i tell you something? your harshness is so kind and so so sweet 💙 your harshness, is comfort to the mind lol. your right. xD its like you know me too well. i am loyal to everyone who constantly breaks me. Its like no matter how much i convince myself its not right, i feel a sense of empathy or softness for her T-T but oh well..... we will have to see what future bunny will do. she with either destroy her life, or finally let her life become normal  💙  thank you soul. for everything. 💙

you-da-best-blow-kiss.gif

5 replies
mytwistedsoul March 2nd

@amiableBunny4016 💙 I was you once upon a time or close to it. Nobody spoke to me privately. They called her and we were in the room together. I could have spoken up. I had physical proof but I couldn't speak up. You know what my loyalty brought me? More abuse. The last time she laid hands on me - ended with a hospital stay. Realized that if it happened again there would be no surviving

You're naturally empathetic and you have a lot of maturity for your age. You understand that she's grieving and feel bad for her. You understand that deep down there's things going on inside her

I really hope future Bunny does the right thing 💙
love.gif
4 replies
amiableBunny4016 OP March 2nd

@mytwistedsoul

ugh. thats terrible 💙 it makes me feel sick that someone so innocent brought up in to the world could go through that. we expect nothing of anyone when we are children, we don't know what to expect of the world, but the world just expects so much from us. and if we don't follow it, or if they aren't happy, they will beat us for it, they will rip us apart, and carve us into this.....human💙

i hope so too. i hope childhood wont end, the way i imagined it too. 💙 

Bunny 

3 replies
mytwistedsoul March 2nd

@amiableBunny4016 All we ever wanted was to be loved. To be treated as a human 💙 cuddled and cooed over as babies. Gently taught as toddlers. Guided as teenagers. Not made to feel as an inconvenience or unworthy of basic things or less than 😞

I want the best for you and your brother. You've both been through so much already. You deserve nothing but the best 💙
2 replies
amiableBunny4016 OP March 2nd

@mytwistedsoul

you know what hurts the most? 💙 when you don't ask for love, or for food, or for anything anymore. you don't ask for attention or for ..... idk. it just.... aches. that you can't be a child anymore. your just.. an existing species on your own.... almost alone in a empty world..... its kinda heartbreaking. but then again.... why feel pity for ourselves? why should i feel sadness for myself and my suffering and whatever ***? because my mind will only convince me that i deserved whatever *** that happend. my mind will only convince me....and then blur the lines between truth and lies 💙 but anyways..... i guess.... it is the way it is. 

i hope things are going okay for you too soul 💙 *sends hugs and comfort beams if okay*

thank you.

mytwistedsoul March 2nd

@amiableBunny4016 You're right. I used to try my best to just stay out of sight. Invisible. It felt safer. Any attention was never a good thing

Yeah our brains try to make sense of it and the only thing that seems to make sense is that it was deserved. That there's something wrong with us 😞
Tha m you for the hugs and comfort beams 💙💙 sending some back to you
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amiableBunny4016 OP March 2nd

first love - bunny

she said you would stay,

I stayed  beside her, 

with her, for her,  with love and tears and joy,

and everything else that was left of me and my body,

that broke to a million pieces before me as i put pieces together.

that body of mine,

that screamed stories of pain and sorrows, as i let it burn in disaster and despair.

that body of mine,

a constant boat of memories of the bittersweet language of childhood, 

depression and anxiety, carved into it with scars and bruises, hollowed me out,

into this wreck of a being.

that body of mine, 

worn out and shattered, carrying the weights of yesterday, carrying the burdens of a future yet to be found or seen.


waiting for my mother to carry this body, with her.

to love this body, and cherish this body...

but i guess the idea of mother is just idealistic, 

perhaps it was a misunderstanding, or a misconception,

waiting for her to hold this body in her arms once again,

like every other mother once did. 


love is a delusion, we will never be able to forget, or never see or feel again. 

and she carried that delusion with her,

the delusion that I would let her drag me down with her, 

the delusion that i was an object and she was my owner,

the delusion that if she hurt me, or killed me, or beat me,  i would keep my head held low,

the delusion of the promises she used to make, 

the delusion of love. 


the body that carried everything on their shoulders,

left the hearts of misunderstood, broken people,

people of her own. 

the body left in a world unknown. 

not her own world.

Just the world she survived and lived in. 

left in the hands of her own species,

but broken and torn apart. 


Bunny.... 





amiableBunny4016 OP March 2nd

idk what that injection was.. but whatever he injected into me. was probably some *** drug.

3 replies

@amiableBunny4016

i-… 

what :') he injected something…? 😞 That man is beyond crazy and cruel. and ***. :') 

I’m so sorry bunny :( i-… idk what to say. 

2 replies
amiableBunny4016 OP March 2nd

@LoveMyMoonflowers

idk man. he offered me drugs first and idk how much i even took, i was .... i cant remember. 

1 reply

@amiableBunny4016

*offers a hug for you* :') 💜

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amiableBunny4016 OP March 2nd

i feel like i'm drunk. but i'm not.

amiableBunny4016 OP March 2nd

i always yearned for an older sister or brother or just someone bigger and older than me, that i could lean on and rely on . :')

3 replies

@amiableBunny4016

sitting with bun if okie 🥺 

2 replies
amiableBunny4016 OP March 2nd

@LoveMyMoonflowers

*hugs ni if okay* ✨

1 reply

@amiableBunny4016

*hugs back* 💜

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