The Grove of a Spruce Tree ЁЯМ▓
Hello! You can call me Spruce. I just discovered this interesting diary entry section of 7 Cups, and this is something IтАЩve been looking for. I need a place where I can spill out all of my thoughts without criticism, and thatтАЩs not something I can really rely on through 1:1 chats (even though I havenтАЩt been here for that long, itтАЩs my upfront impression).
I would prefer to keep this as a space for myself, but if anyone would like to send supportive comments for my post, just dive right in! I donтАЩt mind at all ЁЯШК
So for anyone who may be reading this, there may be some rough topics such as family stress, severe self-hate, and some pretty graphic flashbacks (but not too graphic). I will try my best not to make this an inappropriate space, but I just wanted to give a heads up just it case it starts getting to that point.
Donuts are in full supply at all times, so feel free to grab a snack when you travel by ЁЯШК And feel free to greet me when youтАЩre here - I absolutely love meeting new people, and I want to build my support group here on 7 Cups тЭдя╕П
I'm disappointed that I haven't been able to commit to writing daily entries againтАУ I have just been so busy lately even while my motivation level has been at its absolute low. But I'm trying my best, and that's what counts тЭдя╕П
What I wanted to do is post one song that I've been listening to on-repeat for a few days now. It reminds me of every romantic endeavor I've made and the uncomfortable feelings behind them, but by looking for a song like this, it shows that I want to be able to cope with my emotions; listening to these songs make that possible for me ЁЯдЧ
So without further ado, here's the song:
tw: insomnia descriptions, images of intimacy, brief mention of a drug (specifically a common painkiller)
Please skip this; whitened this because can be potentially triggering, and is a bit personal
Spruca's scared :') Starting to have frightening nightmares after a year of empty dreams. Would prefer having no dreams at all than nightmares that make her wake up crying. Spruca is so tired of the anxiety, and it's just getting worse as school creeps around the corner. Parents are arguing more now, and they're really mad at Spruca for going behind their backs.. Spruca just wants to have a social life and be connected with support system, but parents don't understand. They'll never understand. Spruca wants to get a phone, and hopes to get one before school starts. But now, not so sureтАУ will Spruca get addicted to that? Spruca get easily addicted to things, really electronicsтАУ addictive tendencies scare her the most. Maybe having phone be good for her because will learn how to set boundariesтАУ but on other hand, can cause issues mentally. Not only issue in her mind thoughтАУ Spruca keeps regressing, and afraid getting so comfy being smol that doesn't want to grow up. Friends notice too, and not really like :') Get concerned, and Spruca not want to worry friendsies. What can Spruca do though...not really anything. But nightmares get so bad nowтАУ yesterday, had one about being suck in web with silver spider. Afraid spider was gonna bite Spruca :') Spruca not want nightmares againтАУ but too much anxiety does that...trying to cope as best as she can. Was actually productive up to this point, so that good. But subconscious anxiety affecting her greatly. Physically being affected tooтАУ feels like losing strength each day. Today better though, because felt strong in arms again for first time in while. But still worried :') However, Spruca be okieтАУ not first time this happened, and Spruca will overcome again <3 Spruca not so worried anymore because of that. Just need to take things one step at a time, and Spruca will be able to get through this all :)
It's reminder time for all my grove visitors ЁЯдЧ тЭдя╕П (And also a picture of kitties and a pup because why not ЁЯШМ)
@Angelx28 @Sunisshiningandsoareyou @emotionalTalker2260 @Everlee @coldbreeze00 @я╗┐mytwistedsoul @fearfearfear @BookishBlue13 @Wheeki16 @JennyINFP @SystemFireSkye @CupoSad076 @DonaldDraper @FreddieOnyx @jv13076 @BlueDarkAurora @TryingTBH2021 @taylorhugs12 @elli025 @Wefington @ruggedheart0 @kieran000 @Fluffysheep8 @KaikaiKitan @MelodyoftheOcean @TheRandomEMT @tidyHickory3283 @Swiftygirl13 @Sky9763 @Harsvin @HopieRemi @Iamsidhere @WarmLightXO @GloriaD @VaryingCloud @GoldenNest2727 @shinequeen001 @OliveTree1728
@selflessSpruce1515
That and also happiness is getting tagged by Spruceyyyy. ЁЯТЦ
*hugs hugs hugs* your best will always be enough, aye.ЁЯдЧ
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Aww, Sunny Sunnnn ЁЯТЦ Seeing your reply is also another source of happiness for meeeee ЁЯдЧ
*hugssssss* Such wise words that I couldn't agree with more ЁЯШМ
(How's Sunny Sun feeling? Been quite some time ЁЯдЧ тЭдя╕П)
@selflessSpruce1515
Awww*endless happiness for Spruceyy always* ЁЯТЦ
*keeps hugging* ЁЯдЧ
(Yass been a while hehe, I've been doing okiee, rolling with the days, taking it one at a time, thankiees for asking, you lovely lovely being. тЭд)
How's Sprucey holding up? ЁЯдЧ (alsooo, end of august approaching, how you feeling about it?)
@selflessSpruce1515
Hey, Spruca тЭдя╕П Missing seeing you in chats!
Im sorry to hear you're going through a difficult time. Really hoping everything gets better soon. You're such a kind soul and you deserve all the best but no one can escape the cruelty of life. Unfortunately this is how things are, life just goes up and now. So a quick reminder, this won't last forever and everything will be better. тЭдя╕П
@TheRandomEMT
Hey hey, Randommm ЁЯдЧ тЭдя╕П I miss seeing ya in group chats too, and hope you're doing okie тЭдя╕П
I really needed to read that, thank you so much ЁЯе║ You're rightтАУ life does have its ups and downs, and everyone goes through that, no matter who they are. That's trueтАУ things will get better soon enough. I'll keep holding onto that hope ЁЯТЦ Thank you again ЁЯТЧ
@selflessSpruce1515 It's allways a nice surprise to find reminders in the morning тЭд
And this is for you :)
@mytwistedsoul
Aww, Soullllll ЁЯТЦЁЯТЦ *hugs for you* I'm so glad that this made your morning, and hugs are always welcome ЁЯдЧ тЭдя╕П
(How are youuu? тЭдя╕П)
@selflessSpruce1515 It's been a hard week tbh but it'll pass тЭдя╕П Thank you for asking
And how is Spruce?
@mytwistedsoul
You are the master of gifs. Where do you find them? They're all so cute!
@selflessSpruce1515
I feel that Sprumioneeee! And I hope that you can achieve that one day, or that you are on your way to find your own version of happiness! And I am really happy to hear from you! Hope you are okieees тЭдя╕ПЁЯМИ
@selflessSpruce1515
you are an awesome hooman bean Spucie *hugssss* тЭдя╕ПтЭдя╕П
@selflessSpruce1515 So cute
@selflessSpruce1515
Wow, so true Spruce! ЁЯШК Trying to have everything that we need wonтАЩt be possible - ThereтАЩs always limits to what we can have. Also, our happiness goals can change - once we have this one thing we always wished for, we might then shift on to another wish, and it could be an endless quest ЁЯМ╗ Thanks for the reminder ЁЯТЫ
@selflessSpruce1515
That pic is adorable. Thanks for the extra cheer.
Lovely quote Spruce тЭдя╕П @selflessSpruce1515 ЁЯдЧ
@selflessSpruce1515 Just dropping off a hey and a hug :) тЭдя╕П Hope all is well in the world of Spruce
@mytwistedsoul
Soulllll *hugs* Aww, thank you for thinking of me тЭдя╕П It's been a series of ups and downs in my world, but I'm getting through it all. How are things in the world of Soul? ЁЯдЧ
@selflessSpruce1515 I'm glad you're getting through everything - you're a rockstar ЁЯШО I know you're busy with school stuff so I try not to be a pita - so don't feel you ever have to reply back ok?
The world of Soul spins madly on lol! Nah I'm hanging in there - thank you for asking тЭдя╕П
Take good care of yourself ok?
@mytwistedsoul
Thank you for the sweet words :') тЭдя╕П Hehe, it's okie ЁЯдЧ I never feel like I have to reply, but I always love replying whenever time allows ЁЯТЦ
Woah, a spinning world ЁЯШо Sounds like my kind of world, bahaha xD I'm proud of you for hanging in there no matter whatтАУ I've always seen how much strength and compassion you hold in your heart, and it's honestly so beautiful тЭдя╕П Even when things aren't going so great, I know you'll overcome ЁЯдЧ тЭдя╕П I believe in you тЭдя╕П
Aww, I'll do my best тЭдя╕П Right back atchaaa ЁЯТЦЁЯТЦ
@selflessSpruce1515 You're welcome and thank you too тЭдя╕П You allways have such kind words and such a gentle way about you - even when you're struggling with things too - you and the other wonderfully beautiful souls here on your thread are so special in so many ways and anyone whose lives you touch will be made brighter *hugs* Thank you for being you тЭдя╕П
@EmoRex
@selflessSpruce1515
sprucieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Missed you ЁЯе║ЁЯТЦ
ЁЯТХ @selflessSpruce1515 ЁЯТХ
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Awwww ЁЯе║ Me's thinking of you, sweetest Sunny Sunnnn ЁЯдЧ тЭдя╕П
@selflessSpruce1515 Aw so good to see your lovely self, Spruceyyyy. ЁЯдЧ How you been?тЭд
@selflessSpruce1515
Spucieeeeeee??????????
@tidyHickory3283
Spucie is hereeeeeeeee ЁЯТЦ
@selflessSpruce1515
yay I see Spucie yesssss
I missed you :') *hugsssssss*
@selflessSpruce1515 ЁЯдЧЁЯТЦ
@selflessSpruce1515
You popped into my thoughts today
Hope things are going ok in the world of Spruce тЭдя╕П
@selflessSpruce1515