The Grove of a Spruce Tree 🌲
Hello! You can call me Spruce. I just discovered this interesting diary entry section of 7 Cups, and this is something I’ve been looking for. I need a place where I can spill out all of my thoughts without criticism, and that’s not something I can really rely on through 1:1 chats (even though I haven’t been here for that long, it’s my upfront impression).
I would prefer to keep this as a space for myself, but if anyone would like to send supportive comments for my post, just dive right in! I don’t mind at all 😊
So for anyone who may be reading this, there may be some rough topics such as family stress, severe self-hate, and some pretty graphic flashbacks (but not too graphic). I will try my best not to make this an inappropriate space, but I just wanted to give a heads up just it case it starts getting to that point.
Donuts are in full supply at all times, so feel free to grab a snack when you travel by 😊 And feel free to greet me when you’re here - I absolutely love meeting new people, and I want to build my support group here on 7 Cups ❤️
Yayyyyy, time for another entryyyy 😛 ❤️✨
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tw: light description of physical effects of anxiety, anxiety/anxiety attacks, mention of pain and being used to it, LGBTQ+ topics (if you have anything negative to say about this, please respectfully keep it to yourself - thank you <3), migraines
Today was such a mixed day, but it was mostly a good one! I felt pretty productive overall, since I was able to get most of my schoolwork done early in the morning. At home, things were pretty peaceful and there weren't any major arguments, which was good for my anxiety. However, I know that there is something that is bothering me in my subconscious, since for the first time in several months, my eyelid is twitching like crazy, as well as the usual physical effects of my anxiety (such as cold, twitching extremities). :/ It didn't affect me too much though, which is good! ❤️
The one thing that was bothering me though- I won't elaborate more on it except by saying that it is *that time of month*. 😀 It's fine, but it's worse even though it was more than a month since the last time it happened. :') The pain is absolutely awful, but that's the good thing about getting *used* to pain, I guess.. (trust me, getting used to pain isn't as good as it sounds 😀) But anyways, enough about that- I'll overcome this, and it'll only last 7-8 days. 😀 ❤️
What I'm really happy about though is that it's LGBTQ+ pride month! It's one of my favorite occasions, given that I have been through a chaotic, yet fulfilling, journey to discover my identity. 😌✨ I'm proud to be genderfluid and pansexual, even though they do come with their challenges. It's not easy to feel like your gender switches randomly (but sometimes, there is a pattern though) and to be attracted to just about anyone regardless of gender, especially from a stigma perspective. And having to be in the closet about it with my homophobic parents- it's quite the challenge in and on itself. :') But at least I don't have to be afraid to express myself here at 7 Cups. ❤️❤️❤️ That honestly means the world, because otherwise, I would have to keep my feelings all bundled up in an obviously unhealthy way. 😀 And finding those who actually accept me- oh my goshness, y'all have no idea how it warms my heart 😭 ❤️ 🌈
On another note, the weather is supposed to get a bit cooler now, and with the weather change means more frequent migraines and anxiety attacks. :') However, no matter what happens, I will get through this- I know I have it in me, and I'll keep staying positive. 😌 ❤️✨ Hopefully it will get warmer again soon, because that's when I actually feel at my peak when it comes to my mood. 😊 Right now, it's just so gloomy and stormy out, and it's hard to stay positive right now- but I'm trying! ❤️❤️
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I'll leave the entry here. Take care, everyone! Love ya all soooooooo much *tight hugs for all of you* 🤗 ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@selflessSpruce1515
its me outside 🤡⛈
@KaikaiKitan
Wait, ignore that last message 😭 That was totally not sleepy me 😀
Yes, it's really you outside- you're famous 😌✨ Congratulations 🤡 ❤️
This is going to be a pretty short entry, since I got just about no sleep last night, and I'm exhausted :')
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Today was overall semi-okay, but mostly not-so-good. It was honestly such a strange experience last night- after 5 hours of continuous sleep, I woke up at 1am and couldn't fall back asleep. 😀 I was basically an early bird cupser until around 6am 🙈 That was an interesting experience, even though I could barely even think straight. xD Then, I fell asleep from exhaustion, and woke up at 7am. I was so groggy that it felt like I couldn't put two words together- it was so scary. :') It literally took me until 10am before I started feeling at least a little better. This "time of month" is the worst it's ever been, and I'm honestly terrified. I have this lasting headache for the whole day, and I couldn't even focus on any of my schoolwork.
But then, things got better in the afternoon- I did a lot of yoga (maybe a bit too much 🙈) and meditation, which allowed me to center myself more and feel more calm. I did end up finishing a lesson of my Economics coursework, which was my absolute goal. I didn't get the chance to really do anything else, and I was feeling not the best the whole day, even when things did start improving, so I just took advantage of the opportunity and took a long nap in the afternoon. xD Afterwards, I basically felt like new (except the pain was still excruciating, but it still didn't bother me ❤️).
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I'll leave the entry here for today. Have a goodnight, everyone! *hugssssssss* 🤗 ❤️❤️❤️
Hey amazing hooman beans ❤️❤️
I wanted to let you all know that I will not be on cups starting today, until this coming Tuesday (June 7). This is because I will be observing a religious holiday, and I am not allowed to do anything that would be considered "work," which includes using any electronic devices. Even though it's only 3 days, I will miss you all so much!
Hopefully, by taking this break for a holiday, I will kind of release myself from my chain of using electronics 24/7. I have noticed that I have been straining my eyes more frequently, causing chronic headaches and heightened anxiety. Sometimes, we all need that time to take a step back and focus on what is important in our offline lives.
Even though I would not consider myself extremely religious, I also feel like there is this *obligation* to connect with my spiritual roots—I'm not sure if this is instinctual or just a voluntary preference, but I hope to actually observe the holidays of my religion, instead of finding loop-holes just to keep myself busy, such as sneaking a glance at my computer.
Anyways, enough with my rant. xD I just wanted to let you all know that I won't be on again until June 7th. This means I will not be participating in group chats, and I also won't be writing entries in between. I will not be putting my account on self-care, because I trust that I will be able to control myself and not come on during that time. It will be hard, but I think it's important to practice that self-control, not just for now, but for these kinds of circumstances in the future.
Anyways, I will see you all on Tuesday! Take care, everyone, and love ya all! 🤗 ❤️❤️❤️
~ Spruca 🌲
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Tagging my amazing friendsies who would want to know: @Angelx28 @Sunisshiningandsoareyou @emotionalTalker2260 @Everlee @coldbreeze00 @mytwistedsoul @fearfearfear @BookishBlue13 @AGuardianAngel @Wheeki16 @JennyINFP @SystemFireSkye @CupoSad076 @DonaldDraper @FreddieOnyx @jv13076 @BlueDarkAurora @TryingTBH2021 @taylorhugs12 @elli025 @Wefington @ruggedheart0 @kieran000 @Fluffysheep8 @KaikaiKitan @MelodyoftheOcean
@selflessSpruce1515
Awww, take care apricot 🤗 hope you have a good holidays
@selflessSpruce1515 Have a good holiday Spruce 🙂 Thank you for letting everyone know too or we would have worried about you - we probably will alittle anyway but it's just because we care ❤️
@selflessSpruce1515
aww take careee sprucejuiceeee!❤️
@selflessSpruce1515
Heya Sprumioneeeeeeee, take good care of yourself, I wish you all the very best!
Hope to see you soon,
Best wishes,
Aquariuuuuus
❤️💛💚💙💜
@selflessSpruce1515 break in disguise hehe. Tc and see ya 🤗💖
@selflessSpruce1515 It's awesome that you look at things in a positive light ^-^ It's hard to be away from things that are part of our normal but sometimes break from even the best of things is needed to get a new point of view.
You have the power to choose what is important for you at this moment and I am glad that you are aware and are willing to take the steps in the direction that is right for you. I hope you feel more connected to yourself and the people who care about you :)
Remember trying is enough <3 Take care, will look forward to you coming back.
@selflessSpruce1515 Have a good holidays Spruce! 💖
@selflessSpruce1515
Love ya more, Spruceyyy. ❤ You inspire me and make me feel proud always. ❤ I hope you have a wonderful break and happy holidays. ❤ *hugsss hugsss*
@selflessSpruce1515
Spruce! If you didn't tell me, I would probably start spamming your PM's and go into a bit of a panic, take care and good luck! This is a good break!
- fear
@selflessSpruce1515 Take care and have a good break. Spruce juicee!
@selflessSpruce1515
Have a great break, look forward to your return.
Spurceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, we miss you so much and we are so excited for the day you return from your break. ❤️❤️❤️
Hey everyone ❤️
I am saddened to say this, and I don't have a lot of time to write this out, but I will be putting my account on self-care break starting this Friday (or maybe sooner, depending on the circumstances).
A lot has been going on in my world right now that need my full attention, and that means I can't really have any distractions. This isn't just for 7 cups, but for just about all of the sites that I use as methods of distraction from my real life.
I hope that I can return as soon as possible, because you all mean the world to me. If I send up returning after I age up, I can keep in touch with all of you via forums. However, I'm not really sure when I will be back.
I will miss you all beyond words- you have made such an impact on my life, a positive one that I will never forget.
Before we part ways, I would like to share a quote with all of you: "People come into our lives for a reason, whether it's for a day, a month, or a lifetime. When it's time to part ways, don't stop them from travelling their path-you've both served your purpose."
^ This is a sad, but true quote. I feel that I have left such a legacy here, but it is time for me to shift my focus on my offline life for a while.
This isn't goodbye, but a see you later! ❤️
~ Spruca 🌲
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Tagging my dear friendsies: @Angelx28 @Sunisshiningandsoareyou @emotionalTalker2260 @Everlee @coldbreeze00 @mytwistedsoul @fearfearfear @BookishBlue13 @AGuardianAngel @Wheeki16 @JennyINFP @SystemFireSkye @CupoSad076 @DonaldDraper @FreddieOnyx @jv13076 @BlueDarkAurora @TryingTBH2021 @taylorhugs12 @elli025 @Wefington @ruggedheart0 @kieran000 @Fluffysheep8 @KaikaiKitan @MelodyoftheOcean
@selflessSpruce1515
awww *hugs apricot* 🥺💖 hope break is goodsies
@selflessSpruce1515 Hey you :) That is a sad quote - one I've heard before. I guess all I wanted to say - is that it's been both an honor and a pleasure to meet you and to watch you grow. You're an amazing person Spruce and I'm grateful I was given the opportunity to meet you
*BIG BIG hug* you take good care of yourself Hermione ok? ❤️ We'll miss you
@selflessSpruce1515
spruceee ): I’m going to miss you ): take good care though </3 *hug my plants (:*
@selflessSpruce1515
It makes me really sad to see my Kiddo go, but I am also very proud of you, Sprumioneee. It's not an easy decision, I know that. We will all miss you a great deal and I hope that our paths cross again sometime, whenever it is that you are ready. 😇
All the very best,
Aquarius, your loving parent 💙
@selflessSpruce1515 Aw Spruce, you'lll be missed, take care of yourself and hoping to see you soon!
@selflessSpruce1515
Dangit, right when I came back :(( gonna miss you a lot Spruce, ily, tc and I hope this works out well for you! Cya again in the future :') <333
@selflessSpruce1515
I'll miss you *hugs* 😭
@selflessSpruce1515
😭😭😭
@selflessSpruce1515
*super big hug* Me and maxx will miss you a ton, and so will noah and charli. I wish the best for you. You have helped me through some tough times and i want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you Spruca
@selflessSpruce1515 *hugs tight* (and parcels many for later🤗)
Thank you for every smile that you gave us. May those come back to you and more. Have a good break ❤️
@selflessSpruce1515
Take care Sprice!! 🫂
@selflessSpruce1515
Hard to muster alot of words currently ah :/
You'll be in my thoughts, Spruceyyy. Please take super great care of your wonderful self. Know and remember always you have an army of people ready to support you, encourage you, sit with you and if needed, hide with you. Never alone, okie(?)❤ *sending lots of love wrapped in hugs and caramel ice cream* 🤗❤
Always a see you again soon, yes and yes. Take your time though and be at your pace, you deserve all of it and more. ❤
Stay Sprucey, aye? :') <3
@selflessSpruce1515
Take care and hope you achieve all that you want in life ^-^ Take your time and do what you have to do and come back when you feel is right. Byee :) <3
@selflessSpruce1515
Tc spruce hope your break is healing. Tyt but hurry back lol,
Hang tough stay pawsome ur friend 🔥
❤ @selflessspruce1515 ❤
💖 @Sunisshiningandsoareyou 💖
Sunny Sunnnnnnnn, omg 🥺 I missed ya so much *hugs super duper duper duperrrrrrrr tight* ❤️❤️❤️
How have you been? 💖💖💖
@selflessSpruce1515
Aww vv happy to see you, missed you lots tooo, Spruceyyyyy! Hehe *super duper hypa mega tight hugssss backkkkk* 💖
So very sorry things have been rocky irl :( I know something for sure though, I know Sprucey tries their absolute best to keep trying and doing their best in any given situation and will always catch the brighter end of the rainbow. We got this okiee(?) ❤ Super proud of you always, dearieee!
Ps: I can't wait for you to age up lol .... *pretends to be patient* 😛
I've been okiee and hanging tight too. ❤
Andddd :P
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Tankuuuuu so much, Sunny Sunnnnn 🤗 ❤️ Yeah, things haven't been easy in the wonderful offline world, but I'm getting through it :') ❤️ You're right, we go thissssss 💖💖 And yus, I'm doing the best I can, so that's what counts 😌 ❤️
I'm sad that I can't age up this year- gotta wait until next year, smh :') Buuuuut, I will be counting down the months 😛 ❤️ You'll be one of the first hooman beans that I poke in pm's once I age up, that's for sure ❤️❤️❤️
And I'm proud of ya for hanging on there ❤️❤️❤️ You got this, and I send you tons of strength and beams 🤗 I believe in youuuuu, bright Sunny Sunnnn ✨✨✨
Hello helloooooooo, amazing friendsies 🤗 ❤️
I just wanted to pop on for a bit to see how everyone's doing. ❤️ I'm still on my break, but I missed you all sooooooo much, omg :') Things have been pretty rocky in my offline world lately, so I probably won't be back again for quite some time- howeverrrrrr, I'm hoping to be back in the end of August. I'll likely not be participating as much as I used to, since school will be starting up again in September, but we'll see how it goes. 😊
Okay, so the main reason why I came on again is because I'm planning to take a little break from my break (😛) on my birthday, which is July 7th (very soon, so yayyyyyy 🤗). Honestly, I've never been a fan of my birthday, so I thought I would come on here to make the day special. 💖 There is no guarantees that I'll be able to be online too much that day, since it's been really hectic given all that has been happening lately, buuuuut I will do the best I can to be on here as much as I can that day. ❤️
I love ya all beyond words, and I've been thinking of every single one of you during my break thus far. I've been recalling so many pleasant memories on here, and I'll be super excited to be back on once my offline life becomes less chaotic. Thank you all for your compassionate words, and knowing that I've been on a lot of your minds means the world. ❤️❤️❤️
Unfortunately, I do need to go now. See you all in two weeks (hopefully 🙏) 🤗 ❤️❤️❤️
With all the love in the world,
Spruca 🌲
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Tagging my dear friendsies: @Angelx28 @Sunisshiningandsoareyou @emotionalTalker2260 @Everlee @coldbreeze00 @mytwistedsoul @fearfearfear @BookishBlue13 @AGuardianAngel @Wheeki16 @JennyINFP @SystemFireSkye @CupoSad076 @DonaldDraper @FreddieOnyx @jv13076 @BlueDarkAurora @TryingTBH2021 @taylorhugs12 @elli025 @Wefington @ruggedheart0 @kieran000 @Fluffysheep8 @KaikaiKitan @MelodyoftheOcean
@selflessSpruce1515 we miss you for sure 🤗💖
See ya on your special day :D
@selflessSpruce1515 *sending you good vibes* I hope things get less hectic for you ❤️
@mytwistedsoul
Soullllllll, omg :') 💖💖💖 *absorbs the positive vibes* I've actually been thinking of you these past few days, believe it or not xD It's so good to see yaaaaa ❤️❤️
Welp, it doesn't feel like things will get less hectic anytime soon, unfortunately :') Actually, they started getting more hectic today, which is really saddening ;-; Buuuuut, I'm not losing hope 🤗 ❤️ I appreciate your support and the positive vibes 😌 *sends tons of positive vibes and hugs your way* ✨✨
Hope you're doing okie, my friendsie ❤️❤️❤️
@selflessSpruce1515 Hermione! It's great to see you! 😊 ❤️
I'm sorry to hear things are more hectic. I'm glad you're not losing hope though - that's a good thing. Thank you for the hugs and vibes 😊 *sending bunches of them back to you* ❤️ ❤️
@selflessSpruce1515
Oh goshness- where do I even start? I saw you pop into the chat room and I started crying happy tears. I’ve missed you so much, I think about you and your amazing spruceness every day. I can’t wait until August so we can talk again. I’m sending you the best of wishes.
Love,
-Everett
@Fluffysheep8
Everett, omggggg 🥺❤️❤️❤️ I've been thinking of you so much during my break, you have nu idea 💖 Knowing that you were thinking of me and care so much for my well-being and overall happiness- it means the worlddddd, and no one in my life has been sending me so much kindness as you and all my other friendsies here on 7 Cups 🥺 ❤️ *hugssssssss for you* 🤗 ❤️
And I heard all of the really amazing news, and I'm soooooooo happy for you 💖💖💖 Love ya, my amazing friendsie ❤️❤️ And I can't wait for August tooooooo, because I definitely want to chat more with you- I remember all of our conversations, and they always were so uplifting and beyond fun ❤️❤️❤️
@selflessSpruce1515
Sprumioneeee, I have missed you a great deal, so I am really happy for the update! I hope everything is going okay over there and to see you soon! ❤️
@MelodyoftheOcean
Omg, Aquariusssssss 😮 ❤️❤️❤️ *super duper tight hugs for youuuuuu* 🥺 I missed you so much, my amazing adopted parent 💖💖 Hehe, I've definitely been thinking of you during my break, and omgggg, I miss all of our amazing convos and memories in both gcs and pm's :') I'm super glad to see you againnnnn ❤️❤️❤️ *more hugs for you* ❤️❤️❤️
How have you been? 🤗 💖💖💖
@selflessSpruce1515
spuuucieeeee, really glad you're back. we missed you too🥺❤🩹 love yaaaaa <3 See youu on your birthdayyy (hope you'll have a great one hehe)
*attacks spucaa w hugssss* 😩😤💗
@ruggedheart0
Hearttttttttt, yayyyyyy 🤗 ❤️ It's so amazing too see you, my dear friendsie, and I missed you beyond words, omg 🥺 ❤️ You're certainly such a dear friendsie, and I hold you so close to my heart 💖💖💖 Love ya toooooo, and tanku ❤️❤️❤️ (Usually my birthday isn't exactly the most exciting occasion for me, but I'll do the best I can to make it a memorable one 🤗)
😮 *is attacked with hugs* So many hugssssss, aww 💗💗💗
@selflessSpruce1515 omggggg *cries* pliss you the best 🥺🫶 also, we'll try our best too, to make your bday a memorable one oki 😤💗💗💗
Hey spruca
We all have missed you recently. Maxx has named a stuffie after you, (its a dino)... He really misses talking to you. Anywho i hope your having an amazing day, and i hope to see you soon
Hey hey, everyone 🤗 It's time to invite three lovely friendsies to my groveeeee ❤️❤️❤️
Randommmm, Koryyyy, Swiftyyyy - Welcome welcome 😛 I hope you enjoy your time here, and make yourself comfyyyyyy 💖 My grove is your groveeeee 🤗 ❤️ (And I missed y'all so much *hug hug hug* 😭 ❤️)
Tagging: @TheRandomEMT, @tidyHickory3283, @Swiftygirl13
@selflessSpruce1515
Hiya spruce, saw this quote from my favorite authorand felt it was a perfect one to share with you and everyone here.
Joy multiples when it is shared among friends, but grief diminishes with every division, that is life.
R.A Salvatore
@SystemFireSkye
Skyeeeeeee :') I really needed to hear this quote, perfect timing 💗
And you're so right- and this is why I value friendship so much. I've actually never really had friends like all of you before, and when you find the right people, the joy just multiplies like crazy 😛 And then, the grief starts to diminish as it gets replaced with happiness 🤗 💖
Thank you so so sooooo much for sharing this, my friendsie ❤️❤️
I'm going to tag everyone else so they don't miss this quote- it's so beautifullllllll 🥺 ❤️
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Tagging my amazing friendsies: @Angelx28 @Sunisshiningandsoareyou @emotionalTalker2260 @Everlee @coldbreeze00 @mytwistedsoul @fearfearfear @BookishBlue13 @AGuardianAngel @Wheeki16 @JennyINFP @CupoSad076 @DonaldDraper @FreddieOnyx @jv13076 @BlueDarkAurora @TryingTBH2021 @taylorhugs12 @elli025 @Wefington @ruggedheart0 @kieran000 @Fluffysheep8 @KaikaiKitan @MelodyoftheOcean @TheRandomEMT @tidyHickory3283 @Swiftygirl13
@selflessSpruce1515
rawr 🦕
@selflessSpruce1515
I miss teenie side ☹️😕☹️ The oldies are fun. But teenies are even more funner (don’t tell sunnie 😔)
@emotionalTalker2260
I agree Emo, I love teen side. But bless the forums, where everyone can be! 💜
@MelodyoftheOcean
yeah, bless the forums 🥺
@emotionalTalker2260
Omg, Emosaurussssss 🥺 I missed ya beyond words, my dear :') *hugsssssss* 🤗 💖
And yes, bless the forums 😌✨ They really bring the *whole* community together, that's for sureeeee ❤️❤️❤️
@selflessSpruce1515
don’t miss me too hard 😮 you know where to find me. Unfortunately i have been quiet lately. Just burnt out from being depressed xD but I’m still here. And I’m always thinking about my friends, i miss ya’s all a lot 😢💖 *hugs my dear apricot* 😛
@emotionalTalker2260
Don't worry, I know 😌 And aww nu, I've been kind of feeling the same way, honestly :/ Not on here, but irl :') Not a lot of things to brighten my day lately, but I've been thinking about you and all my friendsies like everyday ❤️ Still miss seeing ya in tcr 🥲 It's still not the same, and probably never will :'/ But it'll be okieeeee 😌✨
@selflessSpruce1515
🤫🤫🤫🤫 I’ll be back some day! Just gotta do 2 hard tests on my l and then i can apply to be atl 😮 I finally have government ID. So i am nearly there! I can nearly apply! 😀
@emotionalTalker2260
Omggggggg, yusssss 😛 You got this, my dear 😌 Once you become an atl, I'm gonna poke your pm's, weeeeeee 🤗 💖💖💖
@emotionalTalker2260
And yayyyyy, we'll be able to see ya in tcr again too, so that's awesomeeeeee 😛 💖
@emotionalTalker2260
😮 shhhhh. I’m gonna poke you first 😔 iz a race.. and tcr is my home 😮 i moss there
@emotionalTalker2260
Who will win? We'll find out, lmaooooo 😀✨
And yusssss, tcr isn't tcr without an Emo in it 😌
And moss- 😀 (dang, there's no grass or moss emoji *sniffs* 🥲) We moss you too 😔 We'll welcome you with water, because we gotta water the moss (what am I saying, bye 😭)
Nuuuuuuu, apricot, i love what you said. It made me smile 😮 hahhahahahahahaha
@emotionalTalker2260
(Smh 😛)
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
🤡
@selflessSpruce1515
I agreeee, what a sweet quote! And welcome to the new people in the grove!
❤️
@selflessSpruce1515 @SystemFireSkye
Aww this is a great quote 😊 Thank you for sharing it ❤️
@selflessSpruce1515 *multiplies* 🤗
@selflessSpruce1515 @SystemFireSkye
Awww y'all too lovely! ❤ I love this quote, so very trueeeee, thankiees for tagging me. ❤
@selflessSpruce1515
awwww Spucie thank you for tagging me and giving me the honor of reading the wonderful quote 🥺🤗