THETAJFTOJS II

Part of a trend, I might upkeep of uploading past avatar pictures

Idea behind current avatar is that my responses might be Twitter like in length but the intentions esp. on this platform are dissimilar. It's not about endorsing dead canaries.

Does anyone else ever find themselves feeling that they stick to a particular mental health professional more so b/c of the rapport which comes with opening up about a specifically sensitive issue and continuing to expand on that with one person who've gotten to know or have rapport with more so than them understanding or responding to it per se since it'd just be such a drag, such an ad nauseum drag to have to go through bringing this up with someone else again and making sure you hit mentioning all those relevant points again ?.

Graciously was dropped off home on this rainy evening, graciously made it up a timely elevator with someone and graciously thinking that my main headphones were left in my workplace locker instead of goofily among workplace objects like a certain cart.

-_- It was among a certain cart.

Glad for yesterday and Sweetooth season 2.

To know of music thoroughly so as to better disjoin anything which counts for noise pollution.

Acupressure appointment tomorrow and I'm riding on response about whether email certain rent review related documents will suffice since printing them will be tedious and increase the seperation time btw me and the family dog.

The scenic timeliness of rainfall during work ended today.

*sigh* remorse for telling my mom of the acupressure appointment price -- one of those benign sorts of things you dread to have a parent rub in your face somehow even while going on a completely unrelated topic

=____=

We need more synonyms for 'hippy dippy' since that one is a derogatory one from what I understand

Mmm..that comment section though..

https://www.reddit.com/r/HermanCainAward/comments/138pn2v/who_ends_global_health_emergency_declaration_for/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/HermanCainAward/comments/13821fj/as_the_pandemic_winds_down_antivaccine_activists/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

WHO THE F DOES WHITE-COLLAR DESKWORK, IS NOT A GYM RAT AND YET PERPETUALLY HAS UNFLAWED POSTURE ?!?!?!?!

Accomplishment: sending out important email relevant to rent

Super thankful for how in physio- an yesterday's acupressure I'm in a position as to trust the ppl who work on me to hygienically massage the inside of my mouth and feel out stiffness like that,offbeat as it might sound to say that.

DOES [anyone who does] white-collar desk work..

For 35+ yrs -_- ?..

Before I forget: very mild TMJ causes adjacent to posture..the whole 'jaw needing to be loose since you might have this due to teeth grinding thing'..

..my oral hygiene habits aside..

..reducing inflammatory 'doomer-esque' media consumption, not to deny it's validities and all

Sunday: exercise preferably at parents not at gym.

Please don't falter WiFi.

Going to take steps.

Off with the laptop and up the stairs.

I hate medical experts will dish out recommendations for exercise but never really think twice beyond me telling them that I stick to a 140+ minute per week quota.

Like for instance they don't try to ask for precisely how long I've been doing that and grief do I want one of them to have cross through there mind that all non-bougie reality it takes painful self-pressure to sustain something like that daily for years on end...

PLUS actually factor in given my personality, attitude and mental health past how it's not really 'nominally wholesome' to be doing that, when your friggin likely socializing patterns really hampers 'the quality' of your practice.

Save your cold, bougie prescriptions or hippy-dippy like self-righteous after when you factor that and the f--g rarity of you actually seeing a non-athletic but not overtly obese or impaired or super talented under 33 yr from the inner region of this d--n city.

._.

*sigh*

it was one thing to be so f--g disappointed by the police and their f--g 12 yr responses to someone threatening my safety yrs ago..

it's another thing to be sore over not really liking non-mental health based doctors, to see yourself become the sort of person skeptical of non-mental health based doctor when for all the friggin systemic limitations it's still mainly covered by your regions citizen health plan..

._. >_< f---k please don't dismay at least anytime soon mental health ppl...it's why many wind up in pits of false hope like here

don't dismay *me* anytime..

Much of my frustration or anger went away with badly timed nap I'm waking from

Developmentally speaking the 00's were a c--y decade for me but I recognize how the 'Frutiger aero' aesthetic would've been significant to my brother and my younger cousins as ''the aesthetic' which comes after the Y2K aesthetic and would've been present around us from around the peak of MySpace to about a a year before we reached the middle of last decade..

This video is appreciated by me for the video makers attempt at an aesthetic trend chronology at the very least from 2:19-3:36/19:10

The 2000s Vision of the Future - Frutiger Aero Explained - YouTube

`_` my reaction to this reminds me of the 'gameplay v. lore' memes (ex. Latin America Gameplay vs Lore - YouTube ), in that video essays like these bring up 'the lore', the thought processes and intentions which went behind the aesthetics and movements of those days but my memory of 'the gameplay' I did during those days barely factored such attributes and was mainly jarring and bitter an experience...

but somehow I'm to believe it can come to mean something more to a passerby on this platform whose not yet as senscence laden and 'chronologically gifted' as I am, and I can appreciate that..

..-_- I can't quite say that I'll appreciate seeing an aesthetic like Frutiger aero from barely 1/2 my life ago be revived again..keeping me from aging at a different rate, whether lower b/c it'll be a bit like a second chance in a familiar landscape or a repetition of what stressed me and a reminder of the horror of immutability when they're is functionally no f--g excuse for it other than d--y human attitudes and ideologies.

The wave which the podcast and Amazon's version of 'Critical roll' has made, has made me think that when it comes to reframed D&D popularity, Bennet 'the sage' White might be have a 'Record of the Lodoss war' video in the pipeline if he hasn't already made one.

Such a cool L.American Spanish dub: Record of Lodoss War - Kiseki no Umi (Español Latino) - YouTube

Went on pornography

(a) could..waste dozens of minute seeking a listener to go through the motions with for an hour before finally sleeping before my last day of work for the week or

(b) go to sleep, let the restlessness subside, tell myself I won't get screwed over at work or in my apartment for this deed, a very specific deed which happened in less than a dozen minutes and frankly I'd describe as 'vanilla' in terms of what I was exposed to, f--g gather my composure and go to work and a blessed day whence I may well be the only one in that privileged office space I'm in.

When I can take a chance to let a podcast or music play aloud

Note it's currently well past 2:45 am EST here

When your in a position to say maybe in self-deception as to how 'the simplicity of it' isn't merely what's recognized loneliness but you caved in to your fixation since you strongly felt that if you fell into this inevitability sooner than later you'd at least have one satisfaction in terms of controlling yourself on amounts maybe above 'a micro-dosing' but below 'a meal' let alone 'binging'

I'm still talking about pornography.

Mood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ue714d1V6I

I hate my generation for having mostly fled out of this d--n city if not having becoming East side trash

___

I wonder if that rough fool with the hoop earrings and skateboard still works on the 4th floor of my workplace `_` ..=~= hated that guy

'spacers' not hoop earrings

__

mofos, no one realizing how after stepping out of the relished indulgence of pornography all I want is a guarantee of safety even if I did such a thing

The off-air TV colored stripes. Classic.

previously I used this

The week after Mother's day or the one after that. Break week please x_x >~<

The self-loathing I have to think of my prepubescent self as a 'dumb animal'.

Gunship - Berserker "I was woken by the fire Reality shot me I'm falling off the earth with you We know this night is not for sleep We all go down in flames together You and I embrace in white hot clouds forever A perfect storm, we are blessed Just watch us float, drifting inside of it *** fading, murderized Head's getting heavy, it's time to dive Just as we start to get control Of this violent therapy Upgrading skins with you The absoluteness I consume We all go down in flames together You and I embrace in white hot clouds forever A perfect storm, we are blessed Just watch us float, drifting inside of it *** fading, murderized Head's getting heavy, it's time to dive Silver lining vaporized Floating embers from the sky Broken nose and spitting teeth Now I can tell you're into me We all go down in flames together You and I embrace in white hot clouds forever We all go down in flames together You and I embrace in white hot clouds forever"

GUNSHIP & Tyler Bates - Berserker (feat. Dave Lombardo) (Dark Nights: Death Metal Soundtrack) - YouTube

In the de facto 70's disco apparently wasn't well liked/had mixed reception in contrast to the fandoms for rock scenes of those days *. In the early 80's there was an expected baseball match btw Chicago and Detroit teams which apparently got bizarrely interrupted by ppl with banners saying 'disco is dead' and some music media being damaged.

In sharp irony as the decade went on, the music scene of both those cities would take cues from the ethos if not methods of disco to transform dance music into the house subgenres which I find smashingly fun (to say nothing of disco's impact on early hip-hop, adjacent to increasingly electronica based funk music).

* a bit of overlap in Kiss's 'I was meant for loving you' imo though

___

Ppl are allowed to praise the grunge and alt-rock of the 90's (I can see where it's coming from but imo the sounds of it can feel monotonous kind of soon) but goodness forbid you mention nu-metal sooner than you would the pop or hip-hop scene of those days. This is a pity which makes me think that nu metal is the 90's disco in terms of being maligned even if it's fair to say that it was a valid form of early rock exposure for many adjacent to the ska, pop punk and emo scenes in the twillight years before post-Limewire downloading foundationally shook music production.

In fear, in fear, in fear

always afraid of what happens after pornography

https://youtu.be/HdA0Cr2s28o

Not a nightmare but a bad dream involving being disrespected for being assumed to be taking sides in a strike for wearing a certain colors which I wasn't aware of the association of.

After shower, feeling better. Outdoor temperatures supposedly nice and still time remaining before work.

I intend to drop off some food into my apartment fridge tomorrow before intending to exercise

Restaurant food, rice, greens,eggs..