Scattered Thoughts

@ThePizza

Hey M - you just ran through my mind. I know you're busy with school and swimming and your counselor. Have you met the new one yet?

It must be alittle frustrating at times with your parents sort of - well - like they're walking on eggshells. Sort of makes you feel Idk - like an anomaly or some strange creature they've never encountered. The visit from the grandparents probably didn't help. Because you know they talked. Sort of feels like everyone is studying you doesn't it? Be gentle with yourself M and your thoughts

@NoneTheWiser @mytwistedsoul

There are some updates I'd like to share when I have more time, but please remind me/ask if I forget lol

Taking a risk— nervous

Scattered— running on empty so long I think its negative (exhausted)

Yes I wanna talk to someone but no not you

Not enough space in my mind— I could go on

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(To offline person:)

I never say the right thing to you do I? Self doubt— were the same but I remind you too much. Just shut me up whenever you need to please. More than 25 minutes while we look at, out, through the windows— scared to rebel— did it for you though— knew consequences werent likely but still. Is it me or the others you want to talk to? What do I feel, I dont know. This (: is sacred. Scared Ill scare you away. Please dont forget me in Europe bro— look forward to the forests— Ill always wait for you. Love ya

(From Me)

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Damn wheres the feed???

Trigger Warning

Psychotic Kids, Anarchist, and original me (ft. Dan Reynolds) by YUNGBLUD

Hello I'm Savannah just joined 7cups glad to be here for you all

Think about what you say before you say it— I did and it still came out wrong

Took a sharp turn south— all I see is bedrock

Burned out— gods I want to be done with school

Guess the barrel overflowed

The path— its a wagon wheel. I can walk around on the outer rim, but that gets me nowhere. I can take any one of the spokes that lead to somewhere— but they all lead to the same place. Why doesnt this wheel work properly? It should roll smoothly most of the time; the grounds not that rough. Someone told me and my rational mind agrees that the wheel has simply been interrupted by pebbles of uncontrollable circumstance— but my heart so easily convinces me that my arms threw those pebbles out in the road. I am the problem, the stone in the wheel. They— the center of the wheel cannot possibly enjoy being a part of this wagon. Why do they still walk with me and look out the windows? A window isnt a window without them

I really dont want to explain :(

Why the fuck do narcissists obsess over their targets? I'm doing jury duty and my narc mother followed me into the courthouse. I wouldn't be surprised if she sat there all day long like a stalker. I'm ashamed she is my mmother. She wanted to rattle me before jury duty. Wants to make my life as miserable as possible because she is miserable. The best thing I can do is ignore her though I already sent an email telling her to leave. I think that was a mistake. She will likely double down on her attempts to harass me and stalk me. Fucking bitch. I can't understand why people get stuck with narcissistic parents. What kind of fucked up fate is that? Am I supposed to come out of it stronger? Maybe I will. But I'll definitely be cutting her out forever in the process. That includes cutting out her emotional impact on my life. So, deep breathes because she is going to keep trying to make my life unbearable. She has been worse ever since I told her she isn't coming to my graduation. Looks like that was the right choice on my part. She doesn't deserve any of my emotion or energy. I'm stronger than she will ever be and I'm grateful for a real support system while dealing with her bullshit. Can't fucking wait to cut her off like the rest of her family did. They were smart and got away.

Doing it all wrong

sad :(

@admaiorasemper @NoneTheWiser @mytwistedsoul

Thank you so so much. Its really really nice to know I have support from you guys— it means a lot to me, and it does help.

I think Im just— really overwhelmed with school right now. Usually I would be able to handle the amount of work I have right now, its not much different from my usual load, but getting to bed at a reasonable time has still been an issue so Im really tired. Also I feel drained mentally, so its very hard for me to concentrate and get my work done. Takes me twice as long as it should and I use up a lot of energy forcing myself to do it. I get distracted very easily. I also have felt less motivated towards swim, so going to practice is hard again some days. I need everything to stop for a few moments

New idea