Ni's Little Solace
Not sure why I am creating this thread exactly, and I'm doing this so late at night as well :') I just felt... like I should do this haha. I do have a one line a day thread although I... don't think I have felt so free over there to write as much as I wished. So I thought maybe... I should just make another thread, a diary perhaps.. where I can really be myself.. and maybe post pictures and quotes, literary quotes maybe... and poems.. specifically haiku hehe. Also vents.. thoughts and maybe letters :')
Replies are welcome as well <3 although please remember to stay respectful and kind.
*sending lots of love and hugs because why not*
sometimes i just wanna rip my braces off :')
my gums hurt so damn much.
@LoveMyMoonflowers
Are the braces make your gum hurt, Nii 🌙🥧? 😟
@VictoriaLove7
mhm. me had orthodontist appointment today. for adjustments 💙 i see her every month. it’s okie 💜 how is rainbow bear today? 💕
@LoveMyMoonflowers
Me hopes your gum will be less painful, Nii 🌙🥧🫂 *send beam* ^_^
Rainbow bear been going on shopping earlier, kinda tired & sleepy (& typo), hehe ☺
@VictoriaLove7
Me feeling a little better, rainbow bear 💙 thank you.
i get that :') me hopes you can get some rest buddy. 💜 sending lots of love and hugs if okie 💕🌈
@LoveMyMoonflowers
Me is very glad that Nii 🌙🥧 feels better 🫂
yes yes, thank you, Nii 🌙🥧☺ me will rest soon. Rainbow bear hopes Nii will be able to also rest soon ^_^ lots of love & hugs Nii 🌙🥧 back 🤗
Oof.
PMs suck sometimes.
Bruh I legit have no idea what to say to this.
I’m dying in pms rn.
*** *** ***
idk what to do
@LoveMyMoonflowers
Nii 🌙🥧 *waves* ☺
@VictoriaLove7
hi rainbow bear 🌈🧸 *waves back* 💙
@LoveMyMoonflowers Are you the listener - if it's a tough chat maybe you can contact a supporter for you?
@mytwistedsoul
hehe no soul buddy, i don’t have an l account, i’m 14. :')
I feel scared to block anyone. idk.
i was referring to a chat with a listener. :') oof 😶
@LoveMyMoonflowers If they're asking things they shouldn't you should block or if they're making you uncomfortable in anyway. You don't have to answer their questions and you can even tell them that you're not sure how to answer - but it can be scary to block someone
@mytwistedsoul
they didn’t ask any questions but they were being unkind and… insulting :') idk. i know how to block it’s just it feels so scary. :')
@LoveMyMoonflowers Maybe just end the chat? Make note of the name and report them. Take a couple of screenshots just in case - then you don't need to block them. Just suggestions of course but please don't let them treat you like that 💙
@mytwistedsoul
the thing is i didn’t ask them to stop or anything, i sort of just ignored what they said and let them talk. :') oof.
@LoveMyMoonflowers You shouldn't have to ask them to stop being rude or unkind. They shouldn't do it at all to begin with 😕 That's not good listener behavior at all
@mytwistedsoul
:') idk i feel like i’m overreacting.
@LoveMyMoonflowers Is it something you would say or feel comfortable saying to someone? You could always say you have to go and thank them for their time. Depending on how they react to you going that might help you know if you're overreacting? Idk - sorry 💙
@mytwistedsoul
there’s no need to be sorry. 💜 your caring and supportive as always 💙 and i appreciate that. i just dk tbh. i’ll need to think about it for a bit. maybe i should ask a commod friend :')
anyways 💜 hru today soul? 💙
@LoveMyMoonflowers I worry that I'm being pushy 😞 I just wish you and Bunny weren't having to deal with this kind of thing from people here 💙
@mytwistedsoul
Its okay. 💜 i don’t think your being pushy at all. Dw about it friend. 💙
i wish bunny didn’t have to deal with this kind of thing either :( she’s dealt with a ton of this stuff before. It’s not fun and it can be so triggering. 😞
It’s sad. I think of all the people who come on here to talk about how they feel, to get support. i think of the people here who truly care and who want to be there for people. Oftentimes the people who are struggling are also the big-hearted ones.
and then there are those who are just… unkind. Disrespectful. 😞 and mean… and idk. i don’t get it, really. :(
does this happen often on adult side too? :')
@mytwistedsoul
this was to your previous post 😅 i think around 14 hours ago. 💜 the reply to mine.
thanks for understanding. 💙 i relate with the energy thing a lot. and for me, there’s also forgetting to reply to posts. 🥲 i forget a lot of things tbh :') *sigh*
i get that completely. but if i’m being completely honest 💜 you seriously are so good at expressing yourself through words. ik you might not see it that way :') it’s hard to see good in ourselves. but you always seem to have the right words to say. 💙 you express some things so beautifully - some things, feelings, thoughts… that can be so difficult to explain. And im not just saying that 😅 I mean it.
tbh sometimes it’s just like… a person says a few words, and the other person just gets it. you just know what thought or emotion or… idk… bit of life they’re talking about. it’s beautiful how humans can connect 💜 (i hope that made sense. 😅 Moon is searching her dictionary to find words now lmao. /jk )
I relate with the tucking emotions away so so much :') it’s literally what I’ve been doing for… idk - weeks (?) lmao. 🙈 it’s like having so many overwhelming emotions :') all at once. And addressing them is just… exhausting. Messy. so we end up feeling numb. (Now that either made a little bit of sense or it was completely unrelated 🥲 I feel like i’m following my thoughts everywhere now)
i’m glad it was a little better Friday night. up before the sun :') i understand that. 💙 for me my brain usually decides to hush around 3-4 am. 😅
Ouh coffeeee. What’s your favourite? I don’t drink much coffee. Come to think of it I don’t drink much of anything :') which isn’t good, but… yeah.
Snow storms? :o Hehe. Does soul buddy like snow storms? :o
it’s fine :') my weekend plans usually consist of sleeping and studying. The thing is there’s usually a whole lot more sleeping than studying 😂 soooo. Yeah. 💜
Awwe i understand that. 💙 i guess i’m hopeful too, at this point i don’t - idk… not really planning anything. Just living. Breathing. Existing. I have a few plans here and there :') some ideas for some things i’d like to do/work on this year. 💜 sort of just… trying.
I really hope this year is better for all of us, though. 💙 2023 was crazy. A rollercoaster 🎢 hehe. I hope your trip goes well 💜 you deserve some time for yourself. Montana is beautiful. i’ve never been the US before but I’ve seen pictures of Montana and learnt a bit about it. I hope you’ll choose the best destination for you 💙 sending lots of love.
I wrote a whole dang essay. 😭😭😭 gosh.
@LoveMyMoonflowers I've matched your novel with one of my own 😂😂
@mytwistedsoul
lmao 😭🤣🤣
@LoveMyMoonflowers I really dislike the whole reply system here 😕 it's too easy for conversations to get lost and confused. I forget a lot of things too
@LoveMyMoonflowers It does happen on the adult side 😞 I almost left a few times myself when I was on the receiving end of it. You're absolutely positively right it's not fun. And a lot of times the things you see and read here about yourself are often things that you've heard before you came to cups. Our brains take that information and match it to existing evidence. You end up feeling even worse than before 😞
It is sad - it starts out good when you first start here. You think you've found that safe spot where you can use your voice and be seen and heard - understood but then something happens - I can't even really pinpoint what that something is but it shifts and starts to feel unsafe and you find yourself watching everything you say and who you interact with. The place you thought you could use your voice in becomes another place that takes that voice away
I think the people that are struggling often have better understanding of what it's like to struggle - to have no voice and to just want to be heard 💙
@mytwistedsoul
i agree and relate completely with what you said here. 😞 it’s so true how you come here and you think you’ve found your safe space - but there are always going to be those people who try to take your voice away. like you said. who try to make you feel like you don’t belong :') and yeah… they tell you the stuff you’ve heard your entire life. the hurtful words. And your used to it, you’ve heard it… countless times. But you had this tiny hope things would be different here. :') you had this tiny hope those words might be untrue. at least that’s how it was for me. we all have different experiences 💙
and the hurtful things people say to us aren’t true. i don’t think unkind words serve any purpose. But our hooman brains automatically accept the mean words as facts :') and we always seem to doubt the kind words, the words that point out the good in us.
the people who struggle really do have a better understanding of it :') because they have so much empathy and compassion. they know what it’s like. Our sweet Bunny’s a good example. 💜 she has so much love and care and compassion for others. 💙 i appreciate you and her beyond words. 💜
anyways i feel like i’m ranting too much today. 😭 i’m sorry.
@teenmorgan16
my sweet friend :') i saw your account is on break. i hope your taking care of yourself lovely. 💙 sending lots of love. me loves you.