A Quiet Space for Psalm139 and IsayUncle (Please do not reply or respond. Thank You)
This space was created to get away from crowded threads in hopes of more in-depth conversations between Psalm139 and IsayUncle. Please do not join the conversation unless you are invited. Thank You in advance for understanding and complying. Have a beautiful day!
@Psalm139 @IsayUncle
@Psalm139
Good morning, how are you today? 💚
I’m just trying to catch up on things. We have some pretty bad weather today, heavy rains heavy winds even one of your fears, possible tornadoes. Western Kentucky is a lot worse for tornadoes then where I’m at. And we do not have the abundance that you guys expect every year. Trees and branches across the roads and down power lines is usually the extent of our bad weather like this.
But they did call off school today, So I’m enjoying this extra time to chat. I was going back on our posts and a while back you had mentioned meeting an old guy named Bill at your church. Are you still going to that same church and do you talk to Bill when you see him?
I think it is so cool that your husband went to the Taekwondo match and to Bible studies with you guys. I can understand how smaller groups can be more intimidating. That’s good that he was there. I hope that continues for you but I think you'll have to be patient you know, if he starts to show his know-it-all side about the bible… a tradeoff you might say, for both to enjoy the classes.
Do you have any free days, without Taekwondo, swimming, or church meetings? You are really staying active kiddo. Plus getting caught up with your schooling and still trying maintain your chores. (But it sounds like you’re handling it amazingly well). Even if it feels like you’re like you’re way behind, you are actually leaps and bounds ahead of yourself and your own expectations. It would be so awesome if you guys could get that laundry room running.😥
In my own life and expectations, it constantly and persistently blows my mind how I cannot feed off of my accomplishments on a daily basis but instead get consumed by my inadequacies. Does that happen to you? Like the mental reward for finishing something just disappears shortly after it’s done but the regret of not doing something or thinking too much about something sticks to our minds like Velcro. Is that crazy or what? I notice it and it is so constant and prevalent but I can’t easily stop my brain from absorbing that negative energy. I do work on it though, it’s a real thing I try to think of everyday but it still blows my mind that the good stuff does not naturally stay on the forefront of our minds.
Let me summarize my week for you. A picture is worth 1000 words. This is what I’m looking at this morning. Lol.
But on the brighter side of things, my kitchen has not been left like this overnight for a couple months now. So that’s good. Also, because of the weather and my side job schedule, I should have a few days to myself to regroup. (I honestly do not know how you do it with your large family. Big respect and Kudos to you!). I cleared $800 for my tax return after paying my accountant so that’s really good news. That will actually balance my expense debt ratio to a zero balance for the updated year. The kids loved their pizza party, after all that trouble on my bus, I’ve been pretty strict and they’ve been pretty down in that mouth but definetly behaving well recently. It was good to break that restraint ice a little bit. And last but not least, I’ve been able to maintain my weight loss through this disjointed and scatterbrained week. (even with stealing few pizza pieces LOL) 😅
Have a good day, good chatting with you again. 💚💚
@IsayUncle Good morning 💛. Your kitchen doesn’t look so bad. I bet you already got it cleaned up since you took that picture! You have been doing so well with your routines and your weight loss! I think it’s awesome that you allowed yourself to have some pizza! In my experience, losing weight after babies, I do a lot better when I let myself have some of the things I like. It’s so much more sustainable that way💛
I do feel like I see my inadequacies and failures more than the progress I’ve made. I have to consciously remind myself that I’m doing well in this or that when I start getting down on myself. Like my kitchen is almost always a mess but I have been cleaning for an hour in the mornings before school. And I’ve been doing a lot of activities. Which is huge for me. I almost can’t believe what our life is like now.
I’m happy you have a few days to regroup. That helps so much. Justin is taking the weekend off for the first time this year so we will see how that goes! For him regrouping is sleeping and looking at his phone. That can be frustrating for me but hopefully he takes a little time to do a few things he hasn’t had time for. It would be awesome if he worked on the laundry room.
We filed our taxes too but most will go toward a new furnace and getting central air installed. That’s ok though. I think Justin wants new carpet too. We get quite a bit back having so many people and just one income.
I hope you’re having a good day and the storms aren’t too bad! Do you have a place to go if there are tornadoes? Enjoy your day off!💛
@Psalm139
WOW, you must get a good bit back. Those are some pretty big projects. Good for you guys.😊. I would sacrifice the central air for one more year and pay someone to get the laundry room done but that's just me. A whole lot less work 😂.
We don't really get tornadoes often this Far East in Kentucky. Western Kentucky gets threatened a lot more. If we get one, it's kinda like you see a touchdown where few trees got torn up or something. Luckily I live in a valley between two closely related mountains or big hills. I don't know too much about them but I think it would be hard for them to get to me.😕 and no, I wouldnt know where to go or what to do. Make it to my neighbors house, it's cinder block and got a basement.
I believe our storms just pushed on through. It was pouring so you couldn't see 20 feet in front of you and the winds were fierce but now the sun is out. And there ain't no more big strong gust but it's definitely still windy outside treetops are swaying from side to side. Kentucky is such an elongated state and what happens in the West and north often doesn't make it to the South or the east. And vice versa. I think we're good and this storm just passed!
That's really good that you got an hour set aside just about everyday to work in the kitchen if you have to. Doing something persistent like that, even if it doesn't finish everything up really helps to keep everything on an even keel. So you say, it's hard to believe you're doing this with the kids huh? Well, I guess you made-up your mind try to do the right thing and I'm happy that, so far, it's working for you. I hope it works for you for a long time💚 because it really feels good hearing you talk about it. 💚💚. By the way, just being nosey, but asking again, do you see that old man Bill that you met at church when you first started going to a church?
And you were right, the kitchen wasn't terribly bad once I got started on it.😉.
I hope you're having a good day.💚
@IsayUncle Good morning 💛. I agree with you 💯 about the laundry room. It would definitely save time and money to get that done.
@Psalm139
Hi M, I lost power for 2 1/2 days, right after I told you the storm had passed. LOL.
@IsayUncle Oh no! How did you manage without power? Did you lose a lot of food?
@Paslm139
I was able to get my generator running and had fridge, freezer, kitchen light, microwave and coffee maker usable. With town water, everything was good. didn't lose no food.😅.
Anything new on your end?
@IsayUncle That’s good you have a generator! No, nothing really new here. I hope you’re having a good day so far💛
. LOL we must be getting tired this week. - 💚.@Psalm139
i I do hope your days have been going good and I hope you have a good night tonight. 😊
@Psalm139
Good morning, are you getting tired of talking to me? I'm not getting tired of talking to you, I'm just getting tired of talking about my same stuff over and over and over again. I love listening to the stuff that you're doing. It's uplifting and growing. Mine is mostly boring and repetitive, like now, I'm behind on my house chores and I'm tired.
Or did you get your feelings hurt? 
(I hope not, but I know that happens.... U OK?) 💚
@IsayUncle I was worried when you disappeared those couple of days when your power went out. Then you were just sending short message I thought you didn’t want to talk in depth. I don’t know. I’m ok but just struggling a little in my head. I don’t want to stop talking but I don’t want to be too much so sometimes I just try to keep some things to myself.
@Psalm139
That's good. I don't wanna stop talking either. I've just been tired lately and like I said before; kind of tired of saying the same thing over and over again. But I hope we keep talking and keep checking in on each other. I'm just getting ready to get my dishes washed. I think it's OK if we lose our Va Va Voom sometimes, it's all part of the living process I think. What do you think?
I couldn't get the Internet when I lost power and I figured you were worried so I went to town and tried to get it on my phone but the AT&T tower was down so I couldn't get Internet in town either.😕.
@IsayUncle That’s sweet that you tried to get cell service so I wouldn’t worry. I was kinda mad but also not sure what was going on and usually when I say anything I’m wrong and then I just make the other person mad so I just didn’t this time. I knew you could have had storm damage and I saw there were outages in your state. But of course I was thinking what else could have happened or maybe you were mad about something I said.
@Psalm139
I could tell... I was just waiting for you to admit it. 😏. It must be hard for you sometimes, but now you see, there was nothing wrong with anything. It's good you're learning to bite your lip a little bit before assuming the worst of things and then commenting on that assumption. Good job. 💚
@Psalm139
Good morning M, 💚
I know you can't control your feelings, "MOSTLY" but it's fantastic that you're starting to recognize and check yourself before going full speed on a wrong wrong assumption.
Not only did your feelings, this past weekend make you feel bad for several days (for absolutely no reason except for your own fears and overthinking). But you were also unfairly mad had a friend who happened to be suffering hardships of his own, and not even of his own making, just for Mother Nature and circumstance. (It's OK, honestly, 💚 you did not hurt my feelings and I did not get mad at you. 😅) I only say these things because I've been saving a post for you and I'm gonna connect the link below.
I think it's important not to lose days to erroneous and misleading negative energy. There Is really enough hardships out there without always having to suffer our own brains overthinking and making things that much worse. Wouldn't it be nice to lessen those moments and gain two or three days of peace instead of anxiety? It may seem that it is mostly undoable and maybe you're right about "mostly" but that only means there is a little bit that is doable. Would you like to work on that little bit?💚
@IsayUncle I’m sorry. I didn’t really want to tell you I was upset because “normal” people wouldn’t get upset.
@Psalm139
That's exactly what I was hoping for. It wasn't too much at all and I don't think none of it was crazy.
I think we are developing a very honest relationship and I'm glad you felt safe enough to share all those things. It's important between friends to be able to talk about hard things sometimes without developing anger or guilt or being judgmental. I'm super glad you didn't get mad at me when bringing this up and just shut down the conversation.
I really understand more now how your mindset is creating so much anxiety and I know that you can't just turn it off so I'm not gonna say you're being stupid, or get over it, or anything like that but I do believe it can be worked out. (Over time..... definetly over time). 💚
I would like to stay on this conversation for length of time if that is something you think would be OK. I see a huge parallel with you and myself and I can't talk about it in just of a couple of posts and I would like to stay on this topic for a while. I'll have to tell you some things about myself too. And like I said earlier, I'm getting tired of talking about my chores. 😝.
I'm sorry you had all that stuff dumped on your brain yesterday. I hope today is better.💚💚
@IsayUncle Sorry I didn’t reply sooner, the evening went by quickly with taekwondo for the little boys and then us. I started to reply earlier but then didn’t finish.
@Psalm139
I think that's great that you're OK talking about that other stuff. Please don't worry if you don't have time to chat or post, I totally get it. I'm in a similar situation today, that stupid side work stuff I'm doing is really messing me up a bit. I woke up a little late this morning and won't be home until this evening, and probably too brain dead to say much.😕.
I did wanna talk about that automatic thing, I have an automatic thing too and it is not easy to stop it from happening so I totally get it. I don't have the time to get into it this morning but we'll get to it and it'll be good to talk about.😉
I'm really glad you're Taekwondo class was more encouraging than discouraging. I'd hate to see you quit because of a mental roadblock. Ideally speaking, I would think Taekwondo is just as much about exercising the mind as it is the body so it could be a good opportunity to ask master Nixon about mind exercises against the desire to quit. I know it doesn't hit specifically on your topic but I'm sure there's a world of reasons of why people quit Taekwondo and master Nixon may have some tricks up his sleeve to make that a little bit easier to work your way through. I think you would just be mad at yourself if you quit Taekwondo right now.
I'll talk with you this evening a little bit. I hope you have a really good day.💚
@IsayUncle I hope your day is going well! Any jobs or plans this weekend? You have had quite a few side jobs lately! Justin is working again this weekend too and I wish he would take time off to do things around the house because when he works all the time he doesn’t want to do anything else.
@Psalm139
Yea, the side work is problematic because i have little control with the scheduling and so everything turns into a mess.... it really aint worth it if i can't rein in the disorder and wasted time from the disorder.😕 it's still a fairly new scenario because winter we didn't have any work and now we're just trying to figure out how to make it work. I liked things a few weeks ago when I had my routine and I'm still mostly able to keep up with that but the reward of a routine was to have some free time and I'm losing all that so blah blah blah. LOl there ain't no fixing it, Just see which way the wind blows for now. Maybe through spring break and summer vacation things will look better.
I still don't know how to get podcasts without paying for a service??? I currently pay for Amazon Prime and I pay for Premium on YouTube. I did look up DBT and also CBT. I had never heard of either of these before but they definitely sound like they can be helpful.
That's pretty rough when somebody has to work six days a week. You still need time to relax, eat, personal stuff and then on top of all of that just have a couple hours in the evening or one day to get in any kind of groove it's just plain old tough. I hope he finds a way to push through just so you guys can get some things done, that would be great. It's also very tough working at home all day. People don't get it sometimes. We just can't do as much as we wish either way. That's one of the reasons I suggested paying somebody to help with the laundry room, that would be an awesome task done. Maybe not pay someone to do the whole thing but get going in a groove somehow, a little bit of help goes a long way to getting something finished.
I would listen to podcast if I could figure out how to get it to work.
About myself a little bit, there's many places that I can begin but I think to say I figured it out at the age of 60 is a very important observation. Of course I didn't figure how the universe works but I figured out my automatic knee jerk responses that caused me a lifetime of antisocial interaction.
That automatic thing you talk about happening to you is one of the parallels I was talking about. We could talk about our fathers and the affect they had on us. Your father abandoned you, my father distilled fear into my very being. He was a heavy-handed man with a leather belt and the occasional backhand was never out of the question. (But these things cause us to act in an automatic way, maybe a little differently but still automatic and hard to control or navigate.
Another place to start this story is why would I want to share it with you? I don't mean that in a mean way or anything like that. But really, why? I don't need to do it for my own self reflection but I think sharing it with you might help you and that sounds generous or gregarius but really it's a reflection of my insecurity. That's a huge part of my character flaw that makes me antisocial in the long run. Sounds weird I'm sure.
I think it's kind of ironic how are our insecurities create automatic responses that create more insecurities. Is this sounding too deep or too stupid? I'm really just trying to find a starting point because there's tons of variables. But I think that's enough for now😊.
I'd like to try to figure out how we could listen to the same podcasts, I think that would be a great starting point. What do you think?
Goodnight💚
@IsayUncle I’m sorry the side work is causing so much stress and disorder. I hope it does get better as the weather warms up and you can have a more predictable routine. You can’t really say no to jobs, can you?
I know working a lot makes it hard for Justin too. He will hardly ever take a day off. I told him I’m ok with paying someone to do the laundry room if he wants but he wants to save money and go it himself.
For podcasts, go to Spotify.com. You can create a free account. They will offer premium but you don’t need a paid account. You can listen to music and podcasts for free. They have ads for the free version. You can search for podcasts by topic or name.
Click “get Spotify free”
Enter your info or link to your google account if you have one.
Enter a little more info and you’re done!
This is the free account I have.
This is what it will look like. You can do
it on your computer or get an app. You would just search Spotify on your App Store and then download it. Then enter your email and password. Let me know if you get it figured out💛
You don’t sound too deep of stupid at all. It is hard to find a starting point. I’ve been insecure and anxious as long as I can remember. I really don’t know when it started for me. Feeling like I have to earn love or attention or not being good enough. It probably did start with my dad. I just don’t have a lot of memories of him.
I imagine you are in bed now, so I’ll talk to you tomorrow 💛
@Psalm139
hey M, my computer broke at the house. I have to take into the shop. I won't be on here for about a week. It's not you so stay strong and positive if you can. I'll be worried about you 💚.
This was kind of the last straw for me. I am down in the dumps bad today and everything is messed up. With my computer down this morning, I'm just going to crash and burn for a few days. I can't do this side work stuff. it's too much.
I'm sorry and you hang in there, ok! We'll talk when I get my computer back.
@IsayUncle Sorry about your computer. That’s super frustrating. I am sick anyway so I have been sleeping a lot. I felt so bad I took an at home Covid test and it was positive. I’ll talk to you when you’re back.
@Psalm139
I'm sorry you're sick. I hope you get better soon. I forgot about trying to use my phone and it seems to work okay. I tried the 7 Cups app but that's kind of screwy.
Get well soon.💚
@IsayUncle Yeah, I use my phone but the app didn’t work for me either. I’m feeling a little better today. The big kids are all sick too. Justin told his boss but his test was negative. We probably got it at taekwondo. I hope you’re feeling a little better mentally.
PS. I don't have things so figured out that talking about all this won't help me a bunch. It will surely help me out too!
@ Psalm139
hey, thanks for taking all the time to post that fantastic instructional. I'll definitely hook up with that. I just got home from a side job and I had to leave the house in a mess this morning so I'm pretty brain burnt. I'm just gonna try to chill and do a couple things around the house.
I hope you have a good evening.😊.
@Psalm139
I'm glad you're feeling better, a little bit anyway. I hope everyone else is too. Thanks for the computer tip, I haven't looked it up yet but that's freaking awesome. I put mine in the shop yesterday.
I'm struggling, off balance and out of sync and side work loaded up for the week. One day at a time.
I'm sure getting knocked off track with being sick kind of messed you up too. I hope everyone gets to feeling better soon and gets back on track and feeling normal.
Have a great day!💚
@IsayUncle I really don’t feel that much better yet but it shouldn’t be too long. We skipped everything yesterday and will skip today too. Church is on spring break so all I have to cancel for tomorrow is Treyton’s therapy.
Sorry you aren’t doing well. Are you able to choose how many side jobs you do each week? It would be nice if you could do side jobs a few designated days and have other days for your routines and regular job.
Like you said, one day at a time💛
@Psalm139
ohh I'm sorry ya'll still down under the weather. It's definitely a good idea to take the time for you and the kids to rest and recuperate. Yay on that part.
I got my computer back today, it wasn't serious. It was just a software glitch and it was a $40 fix.
I don't feel like talking about how much a mess everything is because I know it'll pass. On some more positive notes, the longer days are gonna help me out. I'm feeling better after losing some weight and my foot isn't killing me to walk on. Between those things I'm feeling better (physically) throughout the day.
😂😂😂- 
I pulled a real no brainer this morning. I started the sink water running in the bathroom got distracted and left the bathroom for a seconds that turned into like 20 minutes while I was working outside loading up the bus and then like, I come back inside the house to turn everything off for my bus run cause it was time to go, only to hear a funny noise that ends up being a flooded bathroom and hallway and going into the bedroom carpet. It's a good thing it was one of those rare situations where I was a few minutes early because I was able to grab blankets and towels and soak up most of it and throw it in the tub I still left in time for work. Everything was OK when I got home..... dry and no problems 😅.
I hope you have a good evening. 💚
@IsayUncle