A Quiet Space for Psalm139 and IsayUncle (Please do not reply or respond. Thank You)
This space was created to get away from crowded threads in hopes of more in-depth conversations between Psalm139 and IsayUncle. Please do not join the conversation unless you are invited. Thank You in advance for understanding and complying. Have a beautiful day!
@Psalm139 @IsayUncle
@IsayUncle Makennah passed out getting her blood drawn and we ended up in the ER. So scary! Getting ready for the girls appointments now but had to reschedule Treyton’s for Thursday. I’ll check in tonight. 💛Morgan
@Psalm139
Oh I'm so sorry, I gotta leave in a few minutes but is she and are you OK? Do they know what happened?
@Psalm139
Hey M, just checking in. I don't know why things happen like that but I noticed that happens a lot. When we are pushed to our limits and our plate is over flowing, it always seems like that's when a curveball is thrown. I know that must have been really scary I hope MaKennah is OK and you were able to get calm. 😢
@IsayUncle We are both ok. It was so scary though. Rylee and I were standing in the hall waiting for her. They couldn’t find a good vein. They asked if she was dizzy and she said no. Then a few seconds later she said she was dizzy and then she went pale. Her lips lost all their color and she had a blank stare and was shaking and not responding. Then she started responding but said she couldn’t see anything. Her oxygen was low and they couldn’t get a blood pressure reading. All this time Rylee was crying. A nurse was trying to comfort her and I was going between them. The ambulance came and they took her to the ER and I dropped off Rylee at home. I met her at the ER and by then she was stable. They did an EKG and took her blood and gave her fluids. Everything was ok except for the bloodwork showed mild anemia.
@Psalm139
💚 WOW, that was scary! Breath, Give thanks. Take care of Rylee and let her know everything is ok now. And you too. 💚.
@IsayUncle Today we have dentist appointments for all the kids. Hoping for now cavities, but we will see! I’m always happy to get these done and then wait six months before needing to go again!
Later is youth group and kid’s activities at a new church we are trying. They have activities at the same time for all the kids and Sunday school for the younger kids during the service so maybe this one will be good. I really like the sermons of this other church that is close to where we live but it is more formal and less contemporary so we are trying this one first.
Anyway, just checking in. I’m doing ok. How about you? Have you looked into OA at all yet? 💛
@Psalm139
You sound comfortable, that's really good. Yeah you had a lot going on today. It sounds like it was busy but doable so that's awesome. (except for the part of all the kids at the dentist office , that sounds a little hairy) I really hope you didn't have no bombshells. You deserve a break today.... Seriously😊
I promise one of my school helpers that I would go over to his house and help him fix something that he needs help with. So I'm off to do that and I hope your church real well this afternoon or this evening. I'll talk to you tomorrow you have a good night💚
I did look into the QA but I haven't talked to anyone yet. I'm not interested in the physical meetings. There's no place close or convenient here for me to do that anyway but they do have a online presence that I have to check out and get familiar with.
@IsayUncle Good morning! No surprises today. Sorry for all the drama this week. How has your week been? Are your routines still going well? How about your food goals?
We are all a little sick but no fevers. Might have to skip taekwondo tonight. We are hoping it closes because the roads are bad. I saw a couple of kids and moms at the new church program we tried last night that recognized us from taekwondo. One little redheads kindergarten boy was there who had told Rylee, “If you have a white belt then someday you will have a green belt too” lol. He was in Jaxon’s class.
Let me know how you’re doing 💛
@Psalm139
Everything's going pretty good here. Kind of had a hard time last weekend so I didn't get nothing done on my routine tasks but those are all caught up now. It seems I got my routine worked out pretty good that if I get behind it's not overwhelming and it's fairly easy to get caught back up. So that's very cool.
I made some minor but significant adjustments to my daily schedule because I wasn't being fueled anymore buy extra caffeine, headphones, TV and etcetera. (and eating every minute)They had their place for a long time and they helped me get through a lot to be able to relax and push on back and forth. It was just getting to the point where I was abusing them. Any hardship I would shut down and you know watch TV or listen to a headset or not really focus, be tired and drink a lot of coffee still be weirdly dumb. So that agenda had run its course and whenever I hit a wall like that where nothing works anymore, I always fall back to my meditation.
There is a lot to meditation in it's entirety. But it is a super easy concept and exercise. When people get it they get it and it always helps me out whenever I don't have anywhere else to turn. I have not meditated properly and significantly in a few years or whatever. But I'm constantly doing little mini meditations and they help a lot.
There's tons of different practices techniques ideas blah blah blah but what it is to me and to a lot of other people too then do it this way, is a way to take your mind in a different direction by choice. And that different direction is just paying attention to your breath and as you concentrate on your breath in and your breath out, all the monkeys in your head take a back seat to your concentration on your breath. Nothing's changed, all your problems are still there but the better you get at it the more powerful the calm is.
So that's one of the reasons why my week has been so good and the other one it's about broths. I have a lot of Asian ingredients and a lot of Asian recipes are like soups. I think I told you this before but Asian bullion is 100% better than American bullion because it tastes like what it is and not filled with salt. It does have salt but you taste the flavor of bullion a whole lot more. Plus I several jars of pastes and other flavors.
So now when I'm craving something substantial I used the krueg type coffee machine and make a cup of soup or broth and with all these different flavors it's satisfying. The strong flavors quench my cravings which is great. 100 times better than water or tea. I learned the evening time is the worst time for me wanting to eat a lot so now I try to eat a big lunch and not eat much in the evening. I just started that so I'm not sure if that's gonna be easy or hard to do in the long term but it is in the right direction.
That's my whole week in a nutshell, nothing crazy like yours with the zillion responsibilities that you have my week is pretty easy.
You said no surprises so I'm guessing no cavities YAY!😃
@IsayUncle That’s awesome that you have been able to stop the mindless tv/entertainment/eating. And that you were able to get caught up and jump back into your routine! I’m jealous! I need to figure that out for myself, especially with all the new activities.
I do the same as far as zoning out when I get overwhelmed- but with my hot drink (dandy blend) instead of eating and tv or scrolling my phone or taking a nap. I’ve been doing that a lot more lately. Sometimes I want to eat too but the feeling sick when I eat is a pretty good deterrent for that!
Did I ever suggest air fried potato fries to you? No oil, just cut up potatoes air fried (or baked). They are yummy sprinkled with salt, garlic salt, or nutritional yeast. Very low calorie, nutritious, and filling.
The way you do meditation sounds a lot like how I do yoga. I follow the yoga with Adrienne videos on YouTube so I don’t have to think of what to do next and just follow along. But focusing on breath is a big thing too and it does bring more calm.
So with the broth are you using it as a food/drink substitute? That’s a good idea! I’m glad it’s working for you! Maybe you could make a big pot on the weekend of broth or veggie soup with broth to eat when you aren’t as hungry but are really wanting something throughout the week.
Oh, and yes, no cavities! But I did have to reschedule Treyton’s appointment again because Justin had to use my van. Both of his cars are having issues so hopefully he can get one or both fixed soon!
I bet you’re excited it’s Friday!💛
@Psalm139
I can see where yoga is can be very similar to meditation. That's good that you have something like that in your repertoire of coping mechanisms, I think it's real healthy and real handy. I never heard of dandy blend so I looked it up and it looks really interesting plus a lot of recipes that go with it. I'll have to check it out one day.
My broths are not purposely being used as a food / drink substitute but it's working out that way a little bit because they're doing a real good job of quenching my cravings. And if I'm having cravings just for the sake of eating and not hunger then the broths are perfect.
It feels really good not having noise on all the time. When I start to feel bewildered, instead of doing a distraction I either go outside or inside it doesn't matter and I'll just meditate for 5 minutes a lot of times sometimes 10 minutes. And that's good enough to help me regroup and keep going to get something finished. It's been about 60 degrees here for the past couple days woo Hoo! Now it's getting cold and we feel it because we're used to the warm. Brrrrrrr about 40 LOL!
Good Nite M, good luck with the vehicle situation! 💚
@IsayUncle That’s cool that you’re able to let yourself be in silence. It’s hard to break the noise habit. It seems so quiet without all the screens. But also peaceful.
@Psalm139
You and I have similar results when trying to interact socially. Our character flaws may be different but the result is very similar. People like me too when we first meet too but then my character flaw surfaces more and more over time and I end up turning people off.
It’s taking me a great deal of honesty to look back from my entire life and recognize how I consistently and constantly turns people off. I’m still having a super hard time to think I’m that much of a jerk. But it still happens to this day. As I reflect and see that it has happened to a multitude of different people unrelated to each other by different times or different circles and lifetimes. It’s currently happening at work and it’s killing me. I’m awkward in public situations and then I often say or do something that in reflection, I’m embarrassed about or gives people reason to question me instead of likng me, regardless whether I’m in the right or the wrong.
So, I totally understand what you’re talking about. As you navigate your brother’s situation, I’m trying to navigate my entire family situation. It seems 10 times harder and hopeless after a fault is exposed or a trust is broken. But if it’s important to us we must believe it’s not hopeless. Maybe we can’t completely fix our past but we can keep patching the road in front of us.
In the mean time we must, “Keep dancing like nobody is watching”. William Watson Purkey
“When men speak ill of thee, live so as nobody may believe them.” Plato
“Life is amazing and miserable. We must always choose to tip the scales to the amazing side”. JoRu
@IsayUncle You don’t turn me off by your optimism at all. I think the reason is that before you try to encourage me you always validate how I feel and think. Not making me feel more stupid and pathetic or broken by just saying I need therapy or something. Which basically says to me that the person can’t or doesn’t want to even try to deal with me.
I don’t really know how to change how I am with people. Maybe at first I adjust hide behind my smile and small talk and when I know someone a little and share anything deeper it’s too much.
I’m sorry you are having trouble at work. Do you have to deal with coworkers a lot there? Do you know what you are doing that is turning people off after a while? It’s so frustrating, isn’t it?
I am heavily influenced by people around me. I read too much into how they act and interact or don’t and how that changes over time. Do you do that?
I signed us all up for taekwondo mostly because the people were nice and nonjudgmental. But what if someone is mean to one of us?
The seventeen year old boy that teaches the little kids was spaced out on Monday and just wasn’t acknowledging us as much as usual and I thought of just taking the boys to the adult classes with the main instructor who (so far) is giving us a lot of attention. But will he when new people come? I hope I can handle it and not shut down. I am aware that I’m being sensitive but I don’t want to be somewhere we aren’t wanted.
I don’t know why everything has to be so complicated. Anyway, what are you working on today? Any students coming over?💛
@Psalm139
I left early this morning for a small side job and then when I went to pick up my student he had made different plans, which was OK by me.😊. I faltered a bit by not bringing something healthy to eat and eventually by noontime I had to get some sausage biscuits. And then before going to pick up my student and me not having anything made to eat I stopped by the store and got some hot dogs and chips for them. Of course I had to snack on those when I got home and took a nap. It's OK though, I didn't overdo it and go gluttonous.😅. I got all the rest packed up for the freezer for the buns and the hot dogs and all that stuff.
I'm glad I'm not turning you off too. It's hard for me to talk about it or put it in perspective, figure it out???
I was thinking about you signing up for the Taekwondo classes. I know you said you were nervous and I thought it was a great idea. But now that I see how much extra that puts on your plate, I'm wondering if watching the kids and encouraging them, standing in their corner as they do it might be more rewarding for all of you. Just having that little bit of down time where you can relax a little bit and not be underneath another demand. Just last minute thought, not to confuse you.😕
I'm really sorry it's not having the same zeal as in the beginning and the other day you said the instructor didn't smile at you. I thought to myself that is your insecurity showing its ugly face and can ruin a great activity for you. I hope you're staying at it long enough for you and the kids to feel the reward of accomplishment and not of approval, if that makes any sense. Even if they are hard on you.
Trainers for all of times, trainers have been there to be hard on you, push you past your limits so you can find your strengths that you do not know that you have right now. They are not there to be your friends but that does not mean great friendships can't be built over time with a trainer. Perhaps training the mind is another part of Taekwondo from training the body. I'm not condoning lack of direction or meanness..... But lack of attention can come from many avenues and none of them have to be about you. We just don't know how tired these people are or what their day was like. I think they must be present and attentive in a strong way towards their training, not so much to being nice by being present and attentive and they're training because that's what you're paying them for. And if they happen to be super nice and very cool and a joy to go see and work with, the net will be a big bonus. People do tend to get deluded after initial meets and greets so take that as normal and not being a slight against you. And after weighing the pros and cons just don't stick with it if it makes you feel uncomfortable with no reward. I wouldn't stay there either!
I also wanted to say that I'm sorry that your other listener makes you feel void and yucky. I know you used to like talking to him and I'm guessing the privacy that you have is beneficial that you don't have here in this format. So I'm sorry, that's kinda messing up on you.
“Those who are free of resentful thoughts surely find peace.” Buddha
“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” Confucius
“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.” Marcus Aurelius
Good Night M. 💚
@IsayUncle Yeah, there is definitely a benefit of privacy when talk into listeners. It’s too bad they won’t leg members talk to each other more privately. It’s also very censored on the forums and there are things you can’t talk about. One night a couple of weeks ago I requested a chat with a listener and someone took it and we’ve been talking a little since. He seems nice and has bpd and social anxiety too. But of course I’m always nervous talking to anyone new. But sometimes you go to bed pretty early or you are busy or I need to talk about something I don’t really want on here for anyone to read, you know? Do you ever talk to listeners?
I think I will keep going to taekwondo because it makes me feel good and it gets us out of the house and exercising which are both good things. But I do need to remind myself that the instructor is probably just being nice to keep us around. He hasn’t been hard on us. He’s pretty encouraging. He learned my name which surprised me. We’ve only been there a couple of weeks and he called me by name three or four times last class. He also told Bentley he wanted to see his project he was making and told Trey he would send me a link to some shoes I could get for his flat feet. I think overall maybe he is just invested in all of his students.
It just reminds me of my caseworker at the shelter. She gave me and my kids most of her ate for several months. Even though a lot was correction, lecturing, negative attention. It didn’t matter. It seemed like we were important to her and I got very attached because of that. To the point where (I think I told you) I would have done anything to be a real part of her family. All that happened without me seeing it progress. I hadn’t had an fp in so long. After I left I realized how twisted my thoughts were and how dependent I had become.
Maybe that won’t happen here. Maybe I can make a friend or two that aren’t the person in authority over me. It seems that is a common theme for me. Usually men. Probably because of my dad. Idk. Just trying to figure things out. One nice thing about doing taekwondo is that my mind is occupied while we are there and the analyzing happens later.
Have you thought about good foods you could bring with you to eat to avoid eating out? Or maybe even look up better options at the places you normally eat? Just a thought💛
@Psalm139
Thanks for such a genuine reply. I was afraid I was being overly intrusive and opinionated. I think I am as extremely insecure there as perhaps you are about making attachments. Thank you for your understanding and your patience. 💚 I am really glad to hear some of the positive aspects that are happening with taikwando and the instructor.
You said it's been a long time since you had an FP. That's a good thing isn't it? I know we all need and want good friends but that's not the same thing has a favorite person, right? So is it a good thing that you've been able to function on your own without an FP?
So my lunch time is gonna be a sticky wicket to figure out because I actually have two different schedules. When I don't have side jobs, I'm at home in the kitchen and this is a good time for me to cook a big lunch or have a big dinner between 12 and 2:00 PM. That way I don't eat too much at night just before I go to bed.
But when I'm out in the field working, I don't take a specific lunch break I just work and snack and if I don't bring snacky stuff then I'll stop at a store and get something. I can bring substantial soups and substantial salads but that's not really quick snacky stuff. I have to shut down and eat lunch so I might have to do that. I'm not sure yet.
What do you have going on today? I'm going to try to finish up my routine tasks and then make some time for the workshop area again. I think I'll try to send you some pictures today, later on.😊
@IsayUncle It had been a long time since I had an FP when we were at the shelter. Then after we left it was almost two years. And then I came here to help me detach from my brother and I did but got attached to my listener. That was somewhat intentional though. I knew to detach from my brother I would need to attach to someone else. It worked. But yeah it’s probably better not to get to that point.
@Psalm139
PS I managed 6 pounds off my bulk last week. 306 - 300. I'll try to maintain 300 or less for a few days and then set new goal for 295.
@IsayUncle Good morning 💛
@Psalm139
Hey hey. Good afternoon 💚. 
I hope you're having a great day.
Mine is busy with good fortune as the weather warms and the side jobs are starting to line up. I went and worked on the tractor for a couple days and then got a job doing some more trenching so that's good. When I went and looked at the job today, they gave me 18 fresh chicken eggs. Woo Hoo! 😊
What are you guys doing today?
@IsayUncle Nice! The weather is warmer here too! I almost think we could start going for walks again soon. Slow day here so far but taekwondo again tonight. The main instructor won’t be there, just the younger one I told you about. We’ll see how it goes. I’m tired and not great emotionally today but I’m trying to get the kitchen clean. Hiding out in my room right now. I’m happy for you about the eggs. Those are great for protein💛
@Psalm139
I hope your evening and classes went well. 😊 I know you haven't had time to post yet but if you feel like it, what had you down earlier?
good nite m. cya tmrw 💚
@IsayUncle Just my stupid brain today. Maybe it will be better tomorrow.
@IsayUncle Today was ok. It got better as the day went on. I woke up early and couldn’t sleep and went back to bed and got up for a while and took a nap. I guess I slept too much because Im up late. I’m just getting ready for bed now but wanted to let you know I’m ok. first. I know I worry when I don’t hear from you. Thank you for checking up on me 💛. How was your day? What are your plans for the rest of the week? Lots of side jobs?
@Psalm139
NP, sometimes we have to stay in our charging stations longer than other times. And that's perfectly fine and actually feels good sometimes. It sounds like you recharged a bit so that's good. I don't have lots of side jobs but it just takes one or two to work me a lot harder than usual.😕. I need them though to pay the bills and I'm thankful for them.😊.
Hope your day goes good, ttyl💚
@IsayUncle Good morning 💛. I do feel better today. Hopefully that continues! Im glad you got the side jobs you need to pay your bills! How is your eating going? Do you ever drink protein shakes? I’ll talk to you later!
@Psalm139
Brain overload. I have to write up a disciplinary report for a situation that's been getting progressively worse for the past month. I've been trying to keep it maintained on the bus but now it's time to reach out to the parents and the school system. I hate wasting my time with this stuff. I don't even get paid for it! It's not really a waste of time because it's corralling the kids in the right direction but it's a waste of my personal time because I have other things to do.😕.
I did have a productive day getting some side work lined out so that was pretty good. I'm doing OK with my eating, I'm not on a strong disciplined diet yet but I did stop gorging and I am watching what I'm eating and I'm not regaining a lot of weight. I was still at 300 this morning but that's really good for me. I haven't committed to a boring regiment!
Anyway just a tired brain rambling. How'd your day go?
@IsayUncle Sorry for the trouble on your bus. It seems like you should get paid for your time when things like that have to be dealt with. I’m sorry 😞
I feel like you shouldn’t have to have a crazy strict diet to lose weight at first. As you go on you might need to but at first it shouldn’t be as hard. The changes you are making with night eating should help a lot! And just cutting down on some of the higher calorie things you eat should help a lot. You’re doing great 😊. Just think where you could be in a year if you lost an average of 1 or 2 lbs a week! Down between 50 and 100 lbs! All you have to do is not give up. You don’t have to be perfect 💛
My day was good. I got some cleaning done, dinner, now kids are at church and youth group. There is a big snow tomorrow so idk what will happen with Tae Kwon do. I still don’t know how I want to do that. I might take the little boys home and go to a later class with the big kids.
Anyway, I hope you had a good night💛. Talk to you tomorrow!
@Psalm139
Thanks for the encouragement.😊 good luck with the big snow, be careful and I hate that you have to deal with it. Our Easter flowers are already blooming, daffodils. I don't know if they're wild but they've adopted a wild growth pattern so they're all over the banks of the rivers and people's yards. I always love this time of year because of the Easter flowers. That's what they call them here in Kentucky. Heavy rains last night and today. Have you ever listened to johnny's cash "five feet high and rising" song? you'll get a good idea of the river I live on. 😂
I've spent hours today writing up a disciplinary report, talking to my supervisor, the schools the students parents etcetera. It's been building a month so I'm glad to finally being able to address it and get the disobedience squashed.
I also made great progress towards my side work, especially for a friend. I Arranged for the town to dump thier access loads of dirt (no charge to him) onto my friend's lot so he can fill in a couple of burned out structures and turn it into a usable level lot.
I'm super glad to hear you had a good day yesterday, that's awesome. You're probably hunkered down right now and you're big snow, snow days are good. I hope you're enjoying it. I'm not sure what you Taekwondo schedule is like but yeah, adjust accordingly so it's more comfortable in your schedule and doesn't break you down too much. 💚
Why are you posting your dialog publicly instead of using the chat?
@IsayUncle I love flowers! I plan to plant some this year in our front yard. Our house is small so it shouldn’t take a long time but should make it look nice. It sounds like it’s already spring in Kentucky! I’d be jealous, but for us spring means tornadoes. I’m not a fan of those. A calm spring rain I can do though. I love the sound of the rain on the windows.
We did get quite a bit of snow and Tae Kwon do was canceled. Probably good since Rylee still has a hurt ankle. I didn’t have to deal with the snow but if Justin doesn’t shovel in the morning I will. I don’t mind it if I don’t have to drive in it.
It sounds like you had a really productive day, helping your friend and getting the bus mess sorted out. I hope all your effort and time dealing with the school and parents does fix the problem you are having and things get better on the bus. I can tell that you care a lot about the kids💛
Tomorrow is a home day for us. I haven’t been productive this week at all. I’ve been so tired. I feel a little sick maybe. Just tired with headache and body ache. No fever or anything. I really need to catch up on housework though. Fun, fun!
@Psalm139
I believe today is gonna be a home day for me too. Our roads are flooded in several areas so there probably won't be any school.
For you to say, "tomorrow is a home day" is quite the testimonial to how much effort you're putting towards getting yourself and the kids out and about. I think it's amazing and you should be super proud of yourself.
I know you got some cleaning done the other day but it's really hard for you to get caught up with all the house tasks because of all the extra stuff you're doing. Then on top of that if you're not feeling good your body and your mind is gonna be tired anyway.
You got a "home day" today. My wish for you today is that you can rest just enough to feel a little better and you could do just a little bit of work to feel productive (or a lot if you feel like kicking b*tt), but most importantly that you can take some time to yourself, breath with satisfaction and reflection that you've been doing real good. My wish for you is that you do what you can but your home day doesn't get ruined by getting too complicated or overwhelmed.💚💚 💚😊.
I'm going to be posting a few times this morning to break up my routine tasks which also got a bit behind because of my extra activities. BUT I'm not really too far behind at all, and considering I'll probably have today off, I think I'm good.
@IsayUncle Yeah, I didn’t think about that but you’re right! Before it was a rare day when we left the house! I think that now everyone is enjoying going out more except my oldest. She still says she’d rather stay home. But she hasn’t wanted to quit Tae Kwon do and she went to church last week.
Did school get cancelled today? I hope it did! So you can have a break too💛. What are you busy with?
What do you do for fun when you are all caught up on your routines? Are you still listening to podcasts? I found one that I like. It’s called Fight for a happy life. I think you might like it. Have you heard of Tony Robbins? He reminds me of him.
I still have a headache but I’m hoping that will go away soon. I’m drinking my lonely little half-caff cup of coffee lol. I make it last over an hour! I might take some ibuprofen to help get rid of it. Other than that I feel better than yesterday. My head is a little messed up though. I can just tell. On edge. Like I’m ok but kind of feel like crying for no reason. Or just going to sleep. What I want is to just clean the whole house and then rest. I don’t know why my body and brain make that so hard for me sometimes!
Oh, and the flowers! I haven’t decided yet what to plant. It’s been so long since we’ve had a place to garden at all and the last time we did I was pregnant so Justin did most of the work. We had a vegetable garden at our old house in Illinois. I just want to make the house pretty. Maybe carnations. They are supposed to be easy and they remind me of my grandma because she always had them in her yard 💛
Ttyl!
@Psalm139
I have developed a few little whirlwinds going through my day and upcoming weekend. I gotta get lined out for some work and get the tractor loaded and get that fixed, my buddy trying to put in a shower stall and I'm sure he's gonna beg me to work to help him out. Very cool thing is one of my students called me and asked me to help him fix his bicycle. He just lives with his grandmother and doesn't have anyone to show him how to do that stuff. I'm gonna go right after this post and help them out.
Carnations are cool, they come in so many colors I think and are very pretty. That's cool that it'll remind you your grandma, that's a big bonus. I think they dry real good too don't they? Anyway I do hope you get your hands dirty again, that could be fun and seeing the flowers usually lift the spirits a bit.
I did have to go do my afternoon run so I just got back from that but now I'm gonna go help Jayden with his bicycle.
Did you have a good day? How much snow do you guys have right now and I forgot to ask you, have you guys gotten your cars working?
I'll check back in this evening or maybe tomorrow morning. If i don't hear from you, have a good night OK 💚
@IsayUncle That’s awesome that the boy thought to ask you to help with his bike 💛. How did that go - and helping your friend?
@Psalm139
Hey there, sounds like you had a good day, though pretty busy with the laundry but it sounded like it was well balanced which is always good. Must feel pretty good today to have all that laundry done other than folding it and putting it away. It would be so great if you guys could get that laundry room done.
If you want, we can try to work through your confusion about the Taekwondo. Talk about what some of the obstacles are, what some of the solutions can be. Do you wanna scrap it totally or would it be better to lessen the routines some but stay involved. I know sometimes these things seem obvious but it might help to talk through it and put everything on the table to see and consider more clearly. I'd like to help if I can.😕.... and possibly if you get that sorted in your head then maybe the school work will come easier again too.💚
I think I'm going to have a good weekend. I was overwhelmed with obligations of some tractor work but my friend reminded me that it's probably too wet to do any tractor work because it'll be way easy to get bogged down with the tractor and the big truck. so deciding not to do that just freed up a day and 1/2. And I got my routine stuff caught up this morning so I have time to go work on my workshop areas now.
I forgot to tell you, I'm not able to afford the students coming over every week so I haven't had them here for a couple weeks. I haven't quit with the program, I just told them then I had to save up some money and try to set up a system where they can make their own money. Once I get the shop area is done I can help them to build and sell dog houses.
You had asked me earlier what I do for fun after I finish my routine stuff and the truth is, it's been years since I've done anything on a regular basis for fun.
I heard a quote many many years ago and I've kinda live by it ever since. I remember the quote quite accurately but maybe not perfect and I don't know who the author is but it goes like this.
"It's not doing the things we like to do but it's liking the things that we have to do that makes life blessed"
I've developed a mindset that allows me to like some aspect of everything I do. It's not the same as fun and it doesn't mean I don't get angry and frustrated and overwhelmed but everything I do I do in the spirit of purpose and appreciation I think. I do genuinely believe life is fun, our brains just have a hard time picking up on it.😕. But that's why I keep trying😅
It's kind of sad I think that I've never been relaxed enough to do things for the sake of just fun with no purpose accept for the purpose of having fun. I envy people that have that celebrative ability. I'm always worrying about how much money I'm spending or how I could be using my time better somewhere else. laughing out loud.
With that said, there's tons of fun things I would like to do. Fishing, hunting, kayaking down my river, target practicing. Be one of those foodie tourists and go check out all the pizza places in Chicago. Go ATV'ing and 4 Wheeling. Of course, camping and foodie things.
If we all had all the money, we needed then we’d be able to live by this quote,
“If you do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life.” Marc Anthony
(A romantic idea, more than a reality for most I think.)
😂 You can tell I had some free time, I wrote a freaking book instead of just a post.😂 Sorry about the rant about fun. I'll let you know when I actually just do something for the fun of it. I'm actually overdue to go visit my friend that has a pool table and hang out. I enjoy that but only do it once or twice a year.
Don't forget what I said about the Taekwondo. I hope you're having a good day today. Are you resting or doing anything special?💚
@Psalm139
Your flower garden sounds like a great idea. I like flowers and think they're pretty interesting. I like tulips a lot. Do you have any favorites?
@Psalm139
I hope you didn't have to shovel any snow this morning and the roads are safe to drive on by the time you guys gotta get out and about if you have to.
We actually had school this morning which I was surprised because my road was flooded. We have a low lying bend in the road and it was 2 to three feet deep. That's the only way I have out so I couldn't go get the kids this morning and they were just gonna send another Bus later on.
I'm sorry you were feeling bad yesterday. I hope you are feeling better today. I seem to be very tired this morning. I had cold symptoms a few days ago but I did night time nitequil and cold medicine in the day and it only lasted a couple days so that was good. I thought I was gonna get a lot done this morning but I took a nap instead. I'm still really tired.
I'll have to go get the kids this afternoon so I'm gonna try to get some stuff done. I think I'm gonna have to take my own advice to you. I thought I was gonna have a killer day but I just feel a little bit out of sorts and not getting anything done yet, so I'm just gonna piddle about and let my aura find its own quiet direction, whether it be restful or productive.
Anyway, Good morning 💚 
Enjoy your Home Day!
- Have a nice day!@Psalm139
Good Morning - 
Less Coffee, more Dandy Blend 😅. You are really doing well, sticking with less coffee.... it's been a while, that's great! 💚
@IsayUncle I tried to reply a few times yesterday but got distracted but I ado want to talk through Tae Kwon do options with you. You sounded happy yesterday which makes me happy💛. Rylee, Trey, and I went to Tae Kwon do. He took a picture of the class. It was huge because Thursday was cancelled! Can you find us?
I’ll talk to you later but have to get ready for church 💛
@Psalm139
WOW that looks amazing..... and you, in a big event!!!! 😊😉😜😊 I am going to guess - 2nd row middle two in black and on the right end of row (lookin at pic) in red.
ttyl💚
@IsayUncle Actually we are the two with long, dark hair on the front right (I’m next to the really tall guy, then Rylee is next to me - she’s an inch or two taller than me - and the guy on the far right is the 17 year old that helps teach) and then Treyton is behind us. We all have black uniforms and white belts.
@Psalm139
LOL, I see ya now! That's good news about the church, free up some mind space and get in a groove. That's great.
I should have worked on my workshops but I napped and watched tv most of the day... then worked out there for a little while and then came back in to nap and watch more tv.😂
I promised you some pictures of my storage and workshop area that I've been working on this year and last year. The first pictures is what I started with. Now I just have to finish sheltering and securing my buildings. and then storage shelves and workbenches inside. That's my new mission, that's the banner that's written across the top of my daily schedule. Finish Workshop Area!
@IsayUncle You made so much progress! That must feel awesome!💛. Thanks for sharing your pictures!
I wanted to tell you, too, that the quote you shared the other day and your philosophy about enjoying something in everything you do makes a lot of sense to me. I am the same way as you, having a hard time doing anything just for fun. I would never have tried taekwondo if I didn’t have the kids. I might not even go to church. I like those things but doing them just for me? Eh.
So last night Rylee, Jaxon and I went to Tae Kwon do. My ankle still hurts so I’m wearing a brace on it now. I hyper extended it doing a round kick last week.
My main dilemma with taekwondo is figuring out how I a want to incorporate the little boys. They can’t keep up in regular class well. They have two junior classes a week and I’m thinking of taking the boys to those and then bringing the big kids and myself in for later classes or different days. Even though we would have less time st home that’s what I’m leaning toward. But MasterNixon (the owner and instructor) is good with them, so another option is to have them participate in one regular class with us. But that can get distracting and frustrating because they don’t fully participate and are somewhat in the way. I just don’t know. I know I don’t want to do what I shave been doing which is to go in for the juniors class and then having them running around and not participating at all in the adult class afterwards. It’s just too stressful.
Church yesterday was so awesome. I just felt like it was the right one. It’s hard to describe. But sometimes you can just see the genuineness of people. Like they aren’t just pretending but few care. That’s the feeling I got watching the pastors sermons online before we went and it was even better than I imagined. Treyton even said, ‘Well, that worked out well. We’ll probably go back to that one’ without me even asking. After service they give out cookies and coffee and the boys liked that. I introduced myself to a man sitting alone at a table. He said he was 75 and he had on a dirty coat and was missing some teeth but he said he was a member there for over 20 years. His name is Bill and he couldn’t believe my name is Morgan because he always thought of it as a man’s name, lol. I also met the pastor and the youth/associate pastor’s wife - who also has five kids. The boys did well in children’s church too. I hope youth group goes well too on Wednesday.
Anyway, I hope your morning went well! Today I adjust will take the little boys to taekwondo and try to get back into our regular routine! I’ll try to check in later💛
@Psalm139
Yea, I'm happy about the work area but tired of working on it. And it's not really usable yet. There's no storage areas or work areas built yet. When I get those done, that will be freaking awesome. I'm hoping now that I'm caught up with my back baggage that I may hit a three or four day streak and just kick **** on it and be done with it😅
yeah I had to laugh a little bit with you, as you casually say I hyper extended my ankle doing some Roundhouse kick last week, like it's an everyday thing. LOL... I hope your ankle heals soon so you can get back at it.
I'm not sure how the classes go, or what's required on a weekly basis but I was wondering if the little ones could just do one junior Class a week until they got good enough to be a little bit better in the adult class. Maybe like for a month or two. Maybe master Nixon could gear their training so that they would be more adaptable at a lower level in the adult class. IDK? It's hard for me to say because I don't know what time your classes are or if the kids can stay home with your husband or anything like that.
There's two big factors that I don't know. #1, what hours are all your classes. #2, are you allowed to schedule your own classes and your own times (within class hours of course) or are you on a regimented program. It seems like everyone is enjoying this a lot. You had mentioned earlier that you didn't know if it was sustainable and that's a very real concern. If you think this might be a long term activity then I was thinking it would be OK to slow things down a little bit and blend it within and into your everyday/week....
I know this might not be none of my business but another big factor is how your husband is reacting to this, is he feeling included, excluded, do you think he just doesn't care, is he too tired.
There are a ton of things that I do not know but what I do know is that I'm proud of you for doing this whole thing and I would hate for you to burnout and not continue it on some level. So that's why I'm being kinda nosey😕💚
@IsayUncle I hope you do get going on your project so you can enjoy and use it for what it’s intended! I like to get everything done quickly when I can. You really think you could finish it in four days of focused work? Do you have plans drawn out for how you want it and all the materials you need?
@Psalm139
Do you mean bring them home after thier junior class and then go back with the older kids in the same evening? That actually sounds pretty good if there's not too much travel time.
If you do a family saturday or sunday.... isn't that the same obstacle with the little ones in the older classes?
If and when you get a second vehicle would justin come by after work and pick up the little ones from the dojo? (do you all call it a dojo)?
I have everything I need for my shop area as i just hobble things together mostly with what I have. There may be some things I need but nothing to stop me. I just need a serious dose of vim and vinegar.
The parents think I'm the problem so they put him on another bus.... I would've rather tried to work it out but that's good with me. 😜. Never argue with a parent... never! LOL. So the bus is real good right now.
I just stumbled on a "class dojo" app. Have you ever heard of it? It looks like it's a kids learning program for parents and teachers. I didn't check it out at all, just glanced at it.
@IsayUncle On Thursdays I would take the little boys and go home and back for the 5:30 or 6:30 class with the big kids. It’s only about 5 minutes down the street. I’m not sure if I sever would have thought to try it if it wasn’t right there!
And yes, the weekend classes would still be challenging but with Master Nixon there I think it would be ok. And they do better than after a junior class (junior class 30 mins+ regular class 60 mins). I might make that optional too. So they can come if they want but don’t have to. I do want to get value out of their tuition but you’re definitely right. I need to be careful not to overdo it and get burned out.
I didn’t even know it could be called a dojo! I looked that up, lol! I don’t think Justin would want to pick them up though. He doesn’t usually have car seats because he likes to put the seats down to transport stuff. And no, I hadn’t heard of the app either but it sounds cool! I wonder if you could use that to communicate with the parents of kids on your bus?
Im glad the situation was resolved. You’re smart not to argue with the parents. I don’t know how you could be the problem. How? Lol.
Anyway, I need to get to bed! I was surprised to see you wrote again! You’re up kinda late! Talk to you tomorrow 💛
@Psalm139
I was up later than usual last night. I bought some vegetables and started getting them cleaned up and packaged. I boiled my bones and vegetable scraps to make a stock and got some bean soaking to make a kale and bean soup. The beans are boiling now. With the veggies I got, I can do vegetable juice for the week and a house salad or green salad for the week and my bean and kale soup. I've been bouncing between 299 and 303 so now I'm gonna try to maintain 300 or less for seven consecutive days. After seven consecutive days I will consider myself having reached my 300 goal and my new goal will be 295. I also like your idea of losing one or two pounds a week for a year. That's working in the back of my brain too.😅
it is awesome your classes are that close. It sounds like to me you have the perfect plan, bringing the young ones home and then going back for the first class. And then doing the family thing during the second class. That sounds really good and not overwhelming.
You should ask master Nixon if his gym is considered a Dojo.... It just seems it would be so cool to say, I'm going to the Dojo, or meet me at the Dojo instead of we're going to classes at the gym LOL😂
Another avenue of growth for the older ones could be that they stay at the Dojo when you bring the young ones home on Thursday, giving them some free time to mingle without you, but still in a supervised environment. Of course that is if they go with you at 4:00 o'clock and then you come home at 4:30. (or would they just stay at home until you came back to drop the little ones off?)
I have been feeling better. It kind of sounds like you've been feeling a little better also. 💚
@IsayUncle Good morning 💛. Good job on your food prep! You do better than me! And it is very smart to prep healthy options so the healthy options are the easy ones! How is your night eating going?
I really should start prepping food on the weekends to make life easier with our busier weekdays!
Yes, I’ve been doing good the past few days. I’ve had some hours of anxiety and overwhelm and just wishing I could sleep, but nothing too bad.
