A Quiet Space for Psalm139 and IsayUncle (Please do not reply or respond. Thank You)
This space was created to get away from crowded threads in hopes of more in-depth conversations between Psalm139 and IsayUncle. Please do not join the conversation unless you are invited. Thank You in advance for understanding and complying. Have a beautiful day!
@Psalm139 @IsayUncle
@Psalm139
These are the three pieces of equipment I want to own. We've come to an agreement of partnership. I give him 15,000 now and we both own equal shares of the equipment to use as whenever we wish. Splitting the mauntenance and insurance costs 50-50. in two years when the liens are released, I finish paying the balance and then own them myself outright. Ta-Da 😜
@IsayUncle That sounds like a good plan. I'm happy for you💙. What are your plans for how you will use the equipment? I see a trailer and a truck that could be used maybe for hauling scrap metal or things like that, right? The other one looks like a tractor? What will you use it for?
I saw the pictures of your property. It doesn't look horrible in the pictures. I've driven by properties that look a lot more of a mess even in town. Do you have insurance or do you still need to get that?
You are right about Chuck E Cheese. It should be fun and what I have to do is just focus on my kids and Justin and try to ignore the other people. It sounds mean but it's just so I can focus and try to enjoy it without getting overwhelmed. Of course I try to smile and be polite and I don't ignore anyone that talks to me but Justin will have full blown conversations with strangers and that is too much for me. My goal is to make sure Bentley has fun - and the other kids too hopefully. I wish I didn't have so many problems with anxiety but it really gets bad sometimes. My depression is pretty up and down (probably the way you are but faster changes) but the anxiety is almost always there.
Anyway, what are you up to today?
@Psalm139
The equipment is used mostly for earth moving jobs, hauling dirt and gravel. The backhoe is for digging ditches or foundations, leveling land and septic systems.
Today I'm using my smaller tractor to level my land so I can erect the hoop shelters you see in the picture to store all the junk in the yard. but right now I'm back inside and I have to sort the fridge for food storage. I just put open containers, pots and bowls in there for the past two day. Gotta get everything packaged up better.
LET ME KNOW, as soon as you find out... about your jury duty.
@IsayUncle. Good job getting all that done! I got a text saying my jury service is over! I am still going to call in tonight to be safe but that should be it! Definitely a relief!
@Psalm139
YES YES YES.... That is awesome! one step closer to normal. 
And yes, a very cute picture of Rylee and the lion cat.👍
I decided to go to another football game because the student said I shoud go to this one because it is the yearly rivalry of two towns and it's called, "The Battle of Big Hill". Who could say no to that? LOL
I am so happy for you about jury duty, you needed that! 😜
@IsayUncleI wanted to show you this picture too. Rylee was doing her school and Belle was sitting on the table so cute with her lion cut💙
Good Morning M, 
Here's lots of GoGo juice for the big day!
Go have fun, You deserve it, AND You Can Do It! 💚😜
I know your anxiety will be an issue and probably justin being a social butterfly will bother you a lot too but have fun with the kids and feel relieved about the jury duty. (that alone and keeping jax appointments are big winners for the day too).
I'll be trying to regroup my routine a little but mostly leveling that area behind the building is my goal for the day. I think it's supposed to rain a little bit but not too bad in this area. 😉
@IsayUncle Good morning 💙. You've been up a while. How are things going?
I have been up.about an hour and so far have been drinking coffee ☕☕☕. Super productive lol. I'm watching videos on YouTube to see what other moms are choosing for their kids for curricula. It's just fun to see.
I am nervous about later but I'll be ok. We leave at 2pm for the party because it's almost an hour drive there. Bentley just really wanted to go so that's what we're doing 💙. I think it will be one of those things he remembers when he's older so my goal is to just not mess up his memory of the day. He sleeps late so the earliest he'll be up is probably 10.
Rylee made him a cute picture on her tablet for him that I ordered a print at Walgreens I need to pick up:
@Psalm139
Good morning, Is that the picture rylee made on her tablet? If it is. it is very cool, she must be one of the artistic ones. I hope you go beyond not messing things up... to a good day and having fun because there is nothing to do but coast and observe. No worries today💚. I know it's hard for you but you'll do great! AND like you said, it will be a day to remember. Smiles for Miles. You got this.
@IsayUncle Yes she did! She, Makennah, and Bentley are all very good at art. They draw with their fingers on a free drawing app on their tablets. I think Jax probably will be too. His drawings have always been impressive for his age. Trey has never been very interested in it though.
I will try to enjoy it. I really want to. I'm just nervous with all the people. On the outside I think I will be ok. I'm going to take my anxiety medication because I be am already feeling it. I probably should have done a weeknight but today is his birthday and weeknights are hard because Justin is tired so here we are, going on a Saturday. Oh I'm going to put a picture from when he was a day old. Lol. And then I'll get a couple other digital pictures from the girls' art accounts for you to see. My mom was a very talented artist and their talent still impresses me💙
@Psalm139
WOW, no wonder you're so proud of thier mad art skills! Really beautiful drawings.
And as far as you go.... just do your best and forget the rest. And eat some pizza for me. My nephew named Chucky had a Chucky Cheese right down the road from his house. As a kid he worked there after school, that was 30+ years ago. It hasn't been there for many many years. That was always a family joke, he had his own pizza place. lol.
Good luck M.
@IsayUncle We are home. It was about as stressful as I thought it would be. The older kids didn't love it and the game cards were confusing at first and it was loud and chaotic. But Bentley had a lot of fun and loved seeing the Chuck E Cheese character and got cool prizes, so he was happy which makes it worth it. He said it was the best day ever and Jax wants to go there for his birthday now. I'm glad it's over though, lol. How was your day?💙
@Psalm139
I'm glad nothing nuclear happened.... YAY another success. checking them off 1 at a time. I excavated a 20' x 60' space out of the side of the hill to make a flat place for 2 - 10' x 20' storage shelters for all that junk you saw in my yard. Not done yet but looking good so far. Glad your all home and Bently had a good time. Ta-Da!
good nite.😴
@IsayUncle Here are a couple that my oldest has done recently. 
@IsayUncle
@IsayUncle Rylee made this one for our Christmas card last year.
@IsayUncle Bentley draws a lot on paper but here is a digital one he did of Sonic:
@Psalm139
oh oh, haven't heard back from you? you ok?
@IsayUncle I didn't even see this comment before. The place was 45 minutes away there and back and we were there about 2.5 hours, so we were out for a while.
I'm glad you got that done. Do you like doing stuff like that? Was the weather good? Will you be working on that again tomorrow? I'm hoping to do very little tomorrow!
Goodnight 💙
@Psalm139
Good Morning,
How awesome is today going to be for you? Ahhh, just relax. (As much as you can with a family). But yea, I hope you just relax today too. You managed some big hurdles this week so I feel you. Ahhhhhh.
I do like doing backhoe work but mostly I love doing it on my own property, always making more useful land plots. I haven't worked my own property for almost a year so I was really enjoying yesterday.
Have a great morning and I hope you slept in late! 
@IsayUncle I'm glad you had a good day yesterday. I'm sure it is more satisfying to work on your own property and see it transform into the vision you have for it.
I did sleep in until 9 lol. After going to bed at 10! I will have to do a little work around the house today but mostly I will be resting.
Are you doing more work outside today? How is your day going so far?💙
@Psalm139
P.S. That's a beautiful picture of you and Bently. 💚
@IsayUncle Thank you💙
@Psalm139
I did some chores this morning but then got hit with a case of the lazies and have been sleeping all day.
@IsayUncle. You must have caught it from me somehow lol. Justin is watching football so I was just sleeping/ lying here until Jaxon found me. It's just so loud and bright out there. And I feel like I just need a day off.
Are you ok? I wasn't but I think I am now. I took my medicine and feel more relaxed and not as panicked. I don't even know how to describe how it feels but I hate it. I'm going to ask my doctor if I can have two of my anxiety pills a day instead of one. A lot of people take it twice a day.
Anyway, don't feel bad about being lazy. You've been crazy busy almost every day. I think it's ok to be lazy sometimes.💙
@IsayUncle Are you ok?
@Psalm139
I'm ok, I salvaged the day by getting out there and working the lot and doing a couple loads of laundry.
About your medication, didn't you tell me that you miss your daily dose on a regular basis. Be sure to tell your doctor that so he can diagnose accurately. Unless you feel you need to self medicate that much. It must get pretty bad sometimes. 😟
I'm glad to hear you had a good day of de-pressurizing.👍
@IsayUncle That's good you got some things done. Yeah I do forget sometimes but usually it's my antidepressant. I don't really want to tell him that though. But the anxiety one I usually take when it starts getting bad. And yeah sometimes I think it isn't worth it to try anymore. I just get tired of feeling like this and wish I could function normally. And it's exhausting trying to pretend, even with Justin and the kids.
@Psalm139
You know what's best so you do that. It must be so exhausting you probably don't even like talking about it. If you ever do, I'm right here to listen.
Here's some b4 - aft. pictures. Not done yet, but getting closer.
You had a good day today so that's a win. Going to bed soon.
@Psalm139
g'nite 😴
@IsayUncle goodnight
Good Morning,
I hope you have a good day. Tomorrow's a biggie for you but a good one to finally get to and you could feel very reiieved you did not have to reschedule.
My Insurance lady should look at my property today so hopefully I could get some final answers on the insurance and the loan. I'll be glad to get that monkey off my back.
@IsayUncle Thanks. Let me know how that goes with the loan. I hope it works out!
Today for me will be just school mostly. Some cleaning and cooking of course.
I feel sad today again. I remembered my medicine. I don't know what's wrong.
@Psalm139
I'm sorry you were feeling sad earier. I wonder if it has something to do with the seasonal change. I don't think there is anything wrong. You just went through a hectic week of worry, Big day tomorrow, inheritence stress and etc.
IF ANYTHING... I DON'T THINK YOU COULD GET ANY MORE NORMAL... IF YOUR FEELING TIRED, SAD AFTER EVERYTHING YOU DO TO HOLD ALL YOUR PEOPLE TOGETHER EVERY DAY.
Sometimes our emotions are from normal physical and mental pressures. Try to accept them as normal even if does feel like crap BUT know there is lightness down the path if you let nature take it's course. Be gentle with yourself. I don't think there's anything wrong with you.
Did you get to feeling better after you got the schooling motors running?
@Psalm139
I'm awfully tired and have been for the past 1.5 weeks. I can't shake it. I know it's about no routine, bad diet and this loan stuff. It sucks but it'll pass and I have to do the best I can 'till it does. The insurance lady didn't come by, tomorrow she says.
I'm exhausted but am going to go clean up the yard some more until dark.
@IsayUncle Yeah I am feeling that way too. Good for you for doing what you need to do anyway. Sorry you have to wait another day to find out about your loan. Let me know how your night goes.
I don't feel like doing anything but I did do school with four of the kids and a few other things. I could literally fall asleep though, I'm so tired.
@Psalm139
Just popped in for a sec, see how you doing.
Are you still feeling sad or mostly just tired. or tired and sad?
I know it's your dinner time but I'm just rattling on to keep moving. I got the tractor loaded with a bunch of stuff to place and sort into thier designated places down the hill a bit. It's dusk, I'm grabbing a couple of beers, my phone and a bluetooth speaker. be back in about 45 or longer??.
@IsayUncle I'm better than this morning but yeah still down. It sounds like maybe you are too? Good job on all you got done. I wish I could just go to sleep but I can't. So I'll be up at least a couple of more hours. Enjoy your beer and music💙
@Psalm139
I'm done, Want to chat for a bit?
@IsayUncle I missed this and the next two messages, sorry😔
@Psalm139
It was nice to be able just to ramble on for the sake of rambling on. It helped me to be able to do that.
Yea, I'm in limbo too, feeling lost but not hopeless.... just like "Enough Already!" Let me get in a freaking groove I like!
@Psalm139My loan officer got me worried because he hasn't got bsck to me to say, "Yes you got the loan, just show proof of insurance"... So like WTF..... just let me know, I've already called him twice and never responded so that's even more worrisome.
@Psalm139
Tonight turned out to be pretty satisfying, with the music, the dusk was pink into the dark, the beers went down good and I finished a much dreaded task..... Not Bad for feeling like crap when I started.
@IsayUncle I'm glad you are feeling better and got some work done. I got a few dishes done tonight but I'm still behind. Tomorrow I won't have time for any extras but hopefully on Wednesday. Anyway, I bet you're getting ready for bed now, so goodnight. 💙
@Psalm139
before I went to bed, I was wondering if you wanted to chat... or even if you could. If not, I am going to go to bed.
@IsayUncle Ah that's sweet of you. I wish I would have checked back sooner. I just thought it was getting late for you.
@IsayUncle I'm sorry I didn't see your other messages so I didn't know you were available to chat. I just saw that last one that I responded to.
@Psalm139
Good nite 
😜... we'll try again sometime. LOL
@IsayUncle Ok, goodnight.
@Psalm139
It's not too often that I can sit and chat and I don't know how that works for you either, but I had a moment this evening so I thought I'd offer. I am tired now but we still can chat if you want to. 😊
@Psalm139
Good Morning. 
Safe travels today and I hope Jax does well. I hope you do well too. 💚
@IsayUncle Good morning 💙. We leave at 10:45 and his appointments are at 1:00 and 1:30 I believe. He has an ultrasound first and then will see his surgeon. Then it takes a little under two hours to drive home. So we will be out until 4 or so I think.
I hope you have a good day and hear about your loan today. I know the waiting is frustrating and stressful.
I'm sorry it didn't work out to chat last night. I kept thinking I missed you because you usually go to bed early and I only talk to you on here right now so when I get on it's just to check for your messages or to write to you.
I will talk to you later💙
@Psalm139
Is the whole family going or just you and Jax?
And don't worry about the chatting.... that was juat a quick curveball out of the norm. I know what you mean about thinking it was way past my talk time. (and it was). 😜
I came back home to work the yard some more. I hope the Surgeon has good news to share with you.
@IsayUncle. It was just Jax and I and everything went well. His kidneys look good- no damage. He did great on the drive, too. I'm super tired of course. Did you hear about the loan? I hope your day is going well!💙
@Psalm139
Awww, that's great news.... Another big stressor ended with a happy ending. You must be exhasted and i hope you sleep with some peace of mind. It's hard sometimes though with the mind whrining around but I hope you can. 💚
I had a long day, I went to a community meeting after work and just got home. But I am approved for the loan. just waitng for the insurance lady to get a policy in place. 👍👍
good nite m ttyl. 😴 PS...my big dog got skunked😟 PU... LOL
@IsayUncle Congratulations on your loan! You must be so excited!! When will you be able to get the insurance figured out?
I'm sorry about your dog. Do your dogs sleep inside? Did you give him a bath?
I am actually staying up late tonight because a new episode of the handmaid's tale is out. Have you seen the show? It's on Hulu.
Goodnight (or good morning if that's when you read it)💙