Communication - I Statements
Another skill that stands out is "Communication" including I-Statements.
Throughout the years I have had trouble trying to communicate how others make me feel.
I had always tended to use "You" statements. I have learned that it can come off as attacking the person when it wasn't my intention to do so.
In my last 20's I learned what "I" statements are when it comes to communicating my feelings.
For example:
"I feel upset when you yell at me"
"I feel upset when you arent nice to me"
While the I statements can be beneficial, I have learned that it will not work with everyone you are talking to. Some people may still feel attacked or get upset with how you are feeling. I just have to remember that the way I am feeling is valid and it is not my fault the other person is not comfortable with how I am feeling.
@heathermarie95 I definitely agree that using "I" statements takes away from the person feeling attacked or like you are out to get them. However, with the first statement the person could still upset because they may not even realize they are yelling or raising their voice. Thank you for writing this post because it is something I realize I have to do better. Sometimes in the heat of the moment it is easier to blame the person for why I am reacting the way I am in stead of owning up to my actions. I will definitely work on being more accountable when it comes to my feelings. But you are 100% right about one things--- our feelings being valid. :)
@heathermarie95
Great post! We can always be more mindful of how we communicate. It is often how you say it, not what you say.
@heathermarie95
Yes, I also agree with you. I always ensure that I use 'I' if I am expressing my beliefs or views, otherwise, for common statements, I try my best not to avoid others' feelings.
Thank you Marie for noting it down
@heathermarie95
Your acknowledgment and practice of using "I" statements in communication is a significant and transformative step. It's evident that you've invested time and effort in understanding the impact of language on interpersonal dynamics.
"I" statements, as you've rightly pointed out, provide a constructive and non-confrontational way to express emotions and concerns. Your examples beautifully illustrate the shift from a potentially accusatory tone to a more personal and assertive expression of feelings.
It's an important realization that despite using effective communication techniques like "I" statements, interpersonal dynamics can still vary. People have diverse communication styles, and while your intention is to express your feelings, others may interpret them differently.
Your recognition of the validity of your feelings and the understanding that the responsibility for others' reactions lies with them is a powerful mindset. It reflects a healthy boundary setting and self-awareness. It's indeed crucial to communicate authentically while also recognizing that each person's response is influenced by their own experiences and perspectives.
As you continue to navigate the intricacies of communication, your commitment to self-expression and understanding the nuances of interpersonal dynamics will undoubtedly contribute to more meaningful and respectful connections. Keep embracing this growth, and remember that your journey in effective communication is a continuous learning process. 🥰
I also find "I" statements to be very helpful,
instead of saying "You did this and that was wrong",
I can rather say "I feel that when you did that thing, it made me feel upset".
Thank you for creating this post!
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@heathermarie95
Amazing post. Made my day.
