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@MusicCandy @SadMe70 New place to communicate

SadMe70 March 16th, 2022

@MusicCandy Hi! I decided it was easier to just start a new thread. I can't figure out the old one.

I am headed to my mom's tomorrow until Sunday night. Today is the fifth anniversary of dad's death. I couldn't get up there today, so it's the first time I won't be with her on the actual day. I won't be on here this weekend, so I'm writing this on Wednesday.

Yesterday I made my first trip to the mountains in a long time. I hiked to Mary's Rock. It was not crowded and was great weather. It was kind of funny hiking in a t-shirt with snow on the ground!

Today we are celebrating my DIL's birthday. The actual day is Saturday but I'll be at mom's. I am going to make the Korean dessert that I made for New Year's, since their dog ate all the leftovers and she didn't get to try much of it. Then I have some cleaning to do, and some errands to run, and then pick her up 45 min away because my son is here at work near our house. I'm going early enough to drop by my other son's house first to meet his new dog. He and his fiancee are adopting a 2 year old. I need to do laundry to prepare for my trip, and need to write detailed instructions for my pet sitters. I have an old note to work from, but I have a new lady coming one day and I need to make it extra-detailed for her. She is a pet sitting company, so it will cost me, but I need another person in my rotation of feeders. So it's a busy day today!

I am grateful for my spring break this week that allows me to do all these things. I spent the weekend doing very little because I knew the rest of the week would be very busy! I don't like getting home the evening before I have to go back to work, since I won't get laundry, shopping, or cooking done, but it couldn't be helped!

I hope the new thread works out, and that I tagged you correctly so you will see it!

I hope your week has gone well, and here's to five more years of messages to come!


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MusicCandy June 25th, 2023

hELLO ,

So my post will probably reach you too late now.. I'm sure you had an early bedtime for that early AM trip. I am sure i would be as worried about EVERYTHING as you are! I have never traveled overseas so that alone would freak me out. I sincerely hope and pray things will work out just fine.

Rachael and Abi / Mark had a cookout at their dad's house for Father's Day. I was happy to just rest up some last Sunday after working. kisses.gif

I hope you get to spend most of the time with the babies.. you can always plead a headache and bow out of at least some of the day excursions. I will be thinking about you this week and send good vibes that you will actually enjoy it. I haven't had an eventful week either, which is good sometimes. Church work is going on all the time, one thing or another plus the day to day regular chores. But Rachael and i did get our walks in most days, my eating is sporadic and wine is OK for now most nights. It really hinges on me making that cup of herbal tea as soon as I think about having a glass, then it is waiting when I finish the small glass. Abi got the A! Yea, 2 more classes to go.

I will check back in with you when you get back. Again, have an awesome time..you deserve it!


SadMe70 OP July 10th, 2023

Oh my friend, my heart is so full. Those babies are precious. I got home about 1 AM this morning. I will write so much more later this week once I get myself resettled but I had to tell you that the trip was wonderful and I love those babies so very much!!


SadMe70 OP July 15th, 2023

Hello! I am working on settling back into this time zone. I am fine during the day, but sleeping really badly at night, though I think that is just my regular bad sleeping and not jet lag. My trip was so wonderful. I did a lot better being in a foreign country than I thought I would do. Very very long message follows!

First and foremost, those babies are precious! They are old enough to smile and look at you, and seeing that was such a wonderful gift! I took hundreds of pictures and a bunch of short videos of them. Getting to hold them in my arms was amazing. I fed bottles, changed diapers, changed clothes, and gave each of them a bath. My granddaughter is a pretty easy baby so far. She fusses only when she is hungry, wet, tired. Her expression is serious most of the time, and I loved watching her looking at things and seeming to really take them in. My grandson is a more difficult little guy. I did not know, but he was born "tongue tied" and had to have the little bit of flesh under the tongue snipped the week before we got there. Prior to that, he had trouble with a bottle and couldn't nurse at all. Now he can eat, but throws up frequently and also fusses. I think he has digestive issues too. In contrast to his serious-faced sister, he has a very expressive face, from the fussing, to frequent smiles, and everything in between. He finds the ceiling fan especially entertaining :-)

They have a really nice apartment, with a large living room. About half the living room is fenced off with a short sort of baby pen fence. Their couch is inside it, and most of that part of the floor is covered with a mat sort of like a gym mat. They have these two neat cushion bed things in there, plus various other things they can lie on, and a really nice mobile. The living room, dining area, and kitchen are basically one big open room, so you can see the baby area from everywhere, and the little fence keeps the dogs out. She keeps the apartment extremely clean, and is doing a great job caring for them. She and my son are both exhausted, of course.

Unfortunately, she is still having her childish *** fits. I saw about three take place. My son is finally pushing back, in the form of finally snapping at her when he has enough, and then she gives him the cold shoulder for being mean. Apparently her parents back my son up most of the time, because they can see she is being ridiculous, but he should not have to put up with that at all, and certainly not when he is exhausted and stressed. I hope she grows up some day! Also, she makes herself more tired by doing things she doesn't need to do. They have this really neat UV bottle sterilizer, yet she still boils the bottles. The bath routine is way overcomplicated, with two separate small tubs of water for wash and rinse, and 3 separate lotions to be put on them afterwards, and she dumps out the water between babies and refills the tubs. She doesn't want the baby clothes or even the spit clothes to shrink, so she puts everything on drying racks (though using these does seem to be common there) and then folds each spit cloth in a very precise little fold instead of dumping them in a basket.

My mom sucked it up and did the formal photos, plus tons of others besides. She had a hard time adapting to the culture, because she has a very set diet and meal routines, that just could not be done there. She is a vegetarian who can't eat spicy food and likes red wine, three things hard to do there. The coffee pot in our rental was broken, so she could get her coffee at 6 until the second week when my son rustled up a coffee maker for us. My DIL's parents go way overboard trying so hard to be very hospitable, take us lots of places, do everything for us, and Mom did not want to deal with them because it was overwhelming. I was fine with everything they wanted to do, but we were both going nuts because they are incapable of making a plan and sticking to it. Everything we did, the plans and times changed over and over, with poor communication. The DIL's sister is staying with them for the summer, and my son says she has been a big help so I am glad of that. Their two dogs don't get as much attention, and the golden is very hard to walk for anyone not strong, so the dogs have gotten pretty fat. I feel bad for them, but with twins, there just isn't time for everything. I hope that gets better with time because they are nice dogs.

We went to several restaurants of different types, and I loved them all. I can't eat really spicy stuff, but I tried everything else. I don't know what all I ate, but I liked most of it! One of our calmer trips was with just my son, DIL, and the babies, with no in-laws. We went to a coastal river town to have seafood. It was a very casual restaurant, with tanks of fish and shellfish outside. We ate a ton of seafood, including conch and cockles which I never had before, plus fish and lots of little side dishes. For every meal that we ate out, they ordered lots of dishes so we could try lots of things. In a few places, the cooking occurs at the table, and various things are added to the pot at different times. It's a very communal and cool way to eat.

We also visited a folk village, so I got to see some cultural and historical stuff. We only saw part of that because traveling with twin babies is not easy! If I go back again, I would like to visit the village and see more. We did catch one of the shows, with drummers, female dancers with fans and beautiful dresses, and male dancers with neat masks. Other things we missed included cool demonstrations of silk making and fan making.

Mom and I were staying in an older neighborhood, so no high rise clusters everywhere like much of the bigger areas of the city. We really liked it there. Our place was a small, older, two story house that was two separate units, no connecting stair inside. The older couple who own it live on the first floor. It had a beautiful little courtyard with banana trees, a persimmon tree, and some others. The buildings around it were not laid out in straight lots like here, they were crammed together every which way. Access to our second floor unit was a steep exterior stair with no rail left on the outer side. My mom was a total trooper, going up and down those stairs several times a day. I am thankful that she is in the physical shape to do it. There were quite a few just like our house. These houses all had a wall along the street, with cool ornate gates. We had a coffee shop next door, bagel shop down the block, a very nice wooded park with walking paths about ten minutes away, and a bakery on the far side of the park. We walked all over the neighborhood in each direction from our house. We rode taxis back and forth, the 15ish minutes to my son's house, which my DIL ordered for us, which made things so much easier for us. Using a translator program on a phone, and the few words I know in Korean, and younger people there usually knowing some English, Mom and I were able to do fine at our three regular shops, plus a couple of small grocery stores. Our landlord gave me a fan that he painted calligraphy on himself, with a label saying it was to commemorate my visit to Korea. I was able to get a picture with him, me, and the fan. All of these people we met were so very nice!

My son took us to two big stores that are combination grocery and department store. They are each about 5 floors, and the escalators are flat instead of stairs, so you can take your cart with you! Something completely new to me, but makes so much sense.

One very sad thing that happened, was that while we were at a mall, she lost her miraculous medal, a thing some catholics wear. Her siblings gave it to her for her 21st birthday, over sixty years ago, and she wears it around home most of the time. It is gold, so there is no chance anyone will turn it in. The chain was new, and the catch was not working right. We both should have decided that she shouldn't have worn it anywhere. Losing it was a huge blow to her, but typical of her, she does not make a display but stoically moves on, at least externally. My sister and I each said separately that we could all get her one for her 85th birthday this year, and she said no, but we might do it anyway. It can't replace the lost one, but maybe would give her some comfort.

Our long flight each way was fine thanks to being in totally swanky business class. I was so spoiled! Coming home had an issue with the connection in Toronto that stressed us both way out, and we almost had to spend an extra 21 hours in the airport. We ended up in economy seats, after paying for business, which was not a big difference in that smaller plane, but I have requested a refund of the difference from Air Canada. Not holding my breath, but they did cause the whole problem, so maybe they will do the right thing.

This email is way to long, so I will stop now. I have more to say, but for now I will just say how very lucky and blessed I am to have been able to go see those babies. It did me so much good.

Please catch me up on how you are doing! And hooray for Abi for getting her A!! I'm so happy to hear that!

Until next week my friend!

1 reply
MusicCandy July 15th, 2023

@SadMe70

Well, hey you traveling gadfly gal .. it is so good to hear that your trip went well. I've been anxious about the whole trip until I saw your note today. I'm sure there was so much more to the trip than you can even put in an e-mail. My boring life will take a few short paragraphs.

It is so interesting the way you describe the fine details, thank you for taking the time to share with me. I could picture it in my mind ..I know nothing about Korea except little news clips, now you have experienced it first hand. Your DIL sounds like a somewhat typical mother in some ways for that culture from what Ive read, with the precise baths and baby laundry routine ect. I saw on the K pop news that the latest skin care craze involves 10 steps - that's a lot more than any of us would do.

Its good that they have an apartment that works with the babies as they grow. I know you are absolutely in love. I know the tongue tied issue is not all that uncommon and a reason babies can't nurse until its fixed, pretty simple procedure as far as I know. I'm glad it is repaired and hopefully the digestion problems will improve. The fact that you got to spend quality time with them is precious, and especially for your Mom. We know as she ages that trips like that will be more difficult. I'm glad that you 2 had such a nice place that she could manage moving about. It sounds like a heavenly time exploring the shops in the neighborhood- that is the best way to get to know the people anyway. I bet the landlord treats all his guests that way. The one thing Korea is known for is hospitality and graciousness, and it sounds like that was true for you. You made me happy just reading it on your behalf. I am sorry your mom lost her medal, was it a St. Christophers? A lot of folks I know wear it all the time. I I wear my Daughters of the King cross most all the time, but it isn't irreplaceable and not a family piece like your Mom's was. I'd get her another one anyway like you said.

Absolutely no news on my end - just the usual busy-ness with home, work, church. Latest church project is a program that the episcopal church requires, but no one has kept it up for several years - Safe Church licensing. With all the abuse and emotional mismanagement that some churches have experienced, it was started just before the pandemic and really wasn't as much of an issue with everyone at home. however, everyone who has any contact with other parishioners of any age, especially kids - has to take 6 hours of courses on how to keep boundaries, what to report,, inclusion ect. I just did mine online, but lot of folks aren't as comfortable with tech and i am trying to line up an in person Trainer which is another way to get a bunch of people certified at once. Its not really a Fellowship job, it should be the Worship Leaders responsibility, but it won't get done if left up to that person. Our Priest is still on medical leave, and she is battling the effects of a cancer drug. She may come back for a while, but we think she will want to retire soon. Her family is in AZ Lots of smallish churches are managing with no priest or part time ones who do Eucharist once or twice a month and it may that way for us too. Way more clergy are leaving for various reasons which i understand. It may be the new normal. I grew up Protestant so it doesn't seem as ultra important to me as it does for cradle Catholics and Anglicans.

My daughter just called, her indoor cat is missing, she has anxiety issues anyway and has a paper to write now.. I'll say a prayer for her - Mark is feeling exhausted and cant taste yet - always gonna be something. I am again so thrilled that your trip was fantastic - coming back was sort of a let down I'm sure. Back to normal, so take it easy . Write more - its like a travelogue in my imagination!


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SadMe70 OP July 22nd, 2023

Hello my friend! I am still somewhat in my post-trip state, thinking about babies and all the stuff I saw and did! Just a quick rundown on the restaurants we visited, besides the seafood one I write about last week. We went to a place that specialized in dumplings, one for tofu, one for mackerel. We went to a fancy restaurant for a lunch that had three courses but each course had multiple dishes. Actually, we had a bunch of different dishes everywhere! Mom made two meals at my son's house, and we ordered pizza one day (which had some very different toppings, like sweet potatoes and corn). And, finally, the DESSERT place. I was introduced to bingsu, which is sort of like a snowcone, but is a mound of frozen shaved milk with toppings. My toppings were peanut powder and sweet red bean paste. It also comes with a small dish of sweetened condensed milk, which I poured on and mixed in when my mound got down to within the dish. It was so good! My DIL and her parents split one between the three of them, my mom and son split one, and I ate one all by myself!!

This week, I managed to exercise three days this week, which is the most I did in one week all summer, not a great record. I think my weight has settled back to pre-trip, but I sure did not lose the 5 or so pounds I thought I would lose over the summer! Almost time to figure out what pants fit me that I can wear to work!!

I have been sleeping badly all summer, which contributes to my total lack of motivation to exercise or do anything productive really. I think it's hormonal changes, combined with me not being a great sleeper already. I have tried not to take stuff to make me sleep too often, because I will need to take stuff every night once school starts, and I want to give my body a break. (TMI sidebar on hormones - I did not have a period for 65 days, my longest stretch so far, but guess when it did come. That's right, while I was in Korea! Grrrr!! I took everything I needed, since I never know when it's going to come, but I had hoped that was going to be an unnecessary precaution!)

My animals are doing well. My oldest goat, the male, is looking old. He has lost a lot of hair, and I can feel his ribs. He still eats and acts fine, so I think it is just the aging process. Since the only one I've lost so far died while birthing, I have not experienced the declining process with any of them yet. I have been working all summer on slowly cleaning out the tons of hay in their shelter. I take one trashcan load at a time since that is all I can lift of the heavier stuff. Since they add more dropped hay every day, it's a big job. I will not get it all the way done before school, but I have made a good dent. That is some good exercise sneaked in!

I have been watching a little bit of the women's world cup. We watched many of the men's games, but with the women's being in Australia and New Zealand, many of the games are overnight. We did get to watch the US beat Vietnam last night. I wanted and expected the US to win, which they did, but I wish Vietnam had gotten a goal or two. I looked at their roster, and most of them are 5' 1" to 5'3" - I would fit right in! Their goalie is 5'4", crazy short for a goalie, but she was amazing. I hope they are all super proud of how they did in their first World Cup game ever, against a powerhouse five time champion like the US!

I am going up to Baltimore today for lunch with my dad's cousin's daughter, who reached out to us after dad died six years ago. Her dad and my dad were very close, but I never knew them much. We have had lunch with her and her dad every summer until last year. He died in Dec, but we saw her in March, and will have lunch at her house today. My mom and sisters will be there, and she even invited my aunt from my mom's side, whom she met back in March. I will show them all TONS of pictures, and have little gifts for them all. Speaking of gifts, I had put a couple of things in my suitcases for mom that would not fit in hers, including a fragile thing wrapped in bubble wrap in my carryon. When we got to the airport, she told me it was for me, for taking care of her! It's a beautiful vase in a green ceramic that they use a lot, with pretty crane designs on it. I did not really do much for her, as she is pretty independent, but I was really touched by that.

Mom's medal was called a Miraculous Medal. It has the Virgin Mary on it. The design for it was supposedly given by Mary to St. Catherine of Laboure. It includes a prayer to ask Mary for help. I have had a sterling silver one since I was a child, given to me by my grandparents. I started wearing it during my son's senior year in college when he was having big struggles on many fronts, and I could not help with any. I pray to Mary most nights ever since. I had been thinking of getting a gold one because I do not keep the silver polished so it looks black most of the time. Before my trip, I got myself a necklace with four heart shaped charms, with the names and birthdays of my two sons and the two babies. My husband got me a gold miraculous medal to put on the chain with it, so today I am going to offer to lend my mom the silver one.

I am sure you are still keeping plenty busy! I know how much you have going on at any given time! How are things going with the Safe Church program? I was raised Catholic, and although I stopped going years ago and just pray on my own, it's appalling the things that came to light about all the sexual abuse, and the covering up. I wonder if they have a program like yours in place now. Sorry to hear about your priest! My mom's parish lost their priest last year - he was older and died - and they still only have a temporary replacement. I think the Catholic church is going to have to let their priests marry to maybe have a chance at getting more younger priests. But like you said, with such a shortage, it may become the normal to not have a parish priest anymore, and have to share one between multiple churches.

Did your daughter find her cat? What an awful feeling to lose a pet. There is never any good time for that, but she is already going through so much. I am still keeping your family in my prayers, so I hope that she either found her cat, or finds some comfort after losing her. I hope she was able to get the paper done through her grief, and that wedding plans are bringing her some joy with all these struggles. I am sure Mark is exhausted! How much longer is the treatment? I am praying for the best outcome!

Another super long message from me! I am glad to have some good stuff to write to you, instead of always just my sadness/anger/etc., and grateful that you are here to hear it! I am headed out to feed the animals, then see if I have time for the weekend chai routine before getting on the road at 10 for lunch.

I hope your week has gone well, my friend!!


2 replies
MusicCandy July 22nd, 2023

@SadMe70

Hello, my friend,

Reading your message gifts me a lift to my work night. starting at the top, the food sounds exotic and delicious. One of the cool things about visiting other cultures is trying different types of foods. You got the best experience by being with "locals" and home cooks. Nice that your mom got to cook something for them too. The snow cone sounds like a real treat, not like we have with the sugary syrup poured on top. How was the weather? I had not thought about that, but it is certainly record breaking a lot of places in the US, not as much in VA, thank God. My VT sister showed me pictures of the floods with all the dams giving way. They have a lot of clean up ahead.

Good to hear that you have tried to start back exercising,, again- you have to watch it in the heat of the day. Rachael and I have had our walk most days, but sometimes it is early and sometimes late. she had some time in the pool too - her favorite. We came across someone in the pool that had been her school aide in HS! He remembered her, she looks the same even at 36.! asked him about his life, and it is sad -- he went in the army, to Afghanistan and got injured, roadside bombs and is mostly a mess. He divorced, living with his parents with weekend visits with his daughter - she was at the pool too and they looked like they were having fun. I asked him if the V.A . hospital was helping, and he said "not much". You know a lot about that situation, it is a travesty.

I know what you mean about sleep. I had a lot of trouble with hormones too during menopause, now its just night shifts I think. I take a 10 mg melatonin and CBD, which went up to 70 dollars a bottle - but worth it. I don't wake up groggy that's a plus.

Good to hear that your animals are doing OK, Age is something we can't help, but i know you want them to all be happy and healthy - and Oh yes, Abi's cat... In the house hiding behind the bed for 6 hours! Those dogs must have scared the c.. out of her. A relief nonetheless. She has one more week of the summer class - Mon and Wed. she thinks it will be a B, whic is OK. but speaking of women's sports, i agree with you - they should all be proud no matter who wins. Abi did a business plan, oral Presentation , an idea she has had for a long time - A Female Version HOOTERS. A sports bar/restaurant geared to ladies that serves food/ drinks that they like; plays all women's sports, cute guys serving, ect. The professor said in his career he never heard any better presentation , and that if she does want to do it, he knows some investors !!That one should get an a anyway. she would call it "She Scores". i love it.

Safe Church planning is going well we have the date and a step by step plan. The other 6 people on the Vestry better step up and help me get it advertised and set up. We have until Sept. 23/ 24, so plenty of time, but I did the hard first steps. The episcopal church is a lot like the Catholics in practice - I'm sure they have it now too. It is something that is necessary these days, and probably should have been from the beginning. People are fallible and there should be measures to stop abuse before it happens , or right away if it does. The class also teaches going to visit folks to give Eucharist, there are guidelines for that too, as to boundaries and focused listening. I'm excited to get started and I already made signs for the bulletin board. no one else would do it. We have a hot dog picnic tomorrow with VBS week ended, and invited the kids families to come. I got everything set up for that already since I'll be going to church directly after working tonight. After that, a break!

I hope you have a nice time with your family in Baltimore - you have a lot to share! That was so sweet of your mom with the gift, I know you will remember the trip whenever you see the vase.

Thanks for sharing the info about the virgin Mary medal, I didn't know much abut that one. We all need miracles at times. Mark is done with radiation and looking pretty good. He will have a recheck in 45 days to see if there is anything else that needs to be treated - miracle please! Wedding plans going along fine. Everyone else well and work is tolerable. Lets enjoy the rest of summer every chance we get.



1 reply
MusicCandy July 22nd, 2023

@MusicCandy

I don't know why the text changed to red!

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SadMe70 OP July 29th, 2023

Hello my friend,

The weather in Korea was very much like here - very hot and humid most of the days we were there, and some rainy days. I have not taken many walks here all summer, and no videos this week. I've also been eating really badly, sort of letting off anxiety about going back to work by eating. Not a good plan at all, but only two more days. Hopefully being on a schedule for work, will get me back to eating well and exercising a lot more!

I have slept a little better this week, without taking anything to help me. I still wake up in the night, but my stories have helped me go back to sleep. I am sleeping until 7 or 8 every day though, to get enough rest. That ends Monday, when I get up between 5 and 5:30, and I know that when I wake up at night, I worry about getting back to sleep because I don't have much time left, so then I will have to go back to taking stuff to help me sleep.

Yesterday the babies were 100 days old, which is a big thing in Asian cultures. They sent us cute pictures of them dressed in a traditional outfit called a hanbok. When mom and I were there, they also said they would do a video call with us on that day. They did it last night, and they had the babies dressed in the hanbok again, sitting on a table filled with various foods and things that are typical for that celebration, maybe also symbolic of different things, I don't know. Her family were all there and making a lot of noise, so we didn't talk a lot. After a few minutes, the babies were done with the posing, so they laid them on their little beds and we got to see more closeups of them. It was quieter so we got to speak enough for them to hear our voices a little.

The lunch with my family last weekend was so lovely! I really like the hostess, who is a second cousin. She had a delicious summery lunch for us - chicken salad, fresh tomatoes with basil, and watermelon. I showed everyone a bunch of my pictures, so that was fun for me too!

Our truck was in the shop getting painted since I was away, and we got it back yesterday, so today is a trip to the dump for me! I want to get that done before school starts, so that I have a while before I have to go back. I prefer to go on weekdays in the summer since weekends are crowded, but it took them longer to paint it than they thought.

I am glad you are getting in your walks. When school starts, I hope to get back to meeting my twofriends on Tuesdays after work. I am glad you are getting to the pool too. How nice that you ran into Rachael's old aide! I am sorry to hear about all his hardships, and I know the VA is not being much of a help.

I am so glad that Abi found her cat!! That is definitely a relief. How did her class turn out? I LOVE her business idea!! I would go there for sure. And how great that her professor was so positive about it, and even knows some investors! Do you think she will pursue it? I love the name too!

How did the hot dog picnic go? Were you teaching at VBS? Do you have many people signed up for the Safe Church trainings? I am sure you are ready for a break!

I am praying that things will go well with Mark's checkup! I guess that will be late August or in September? I hope he starts regaining strength now that the radiation is over. I am glad to hear the wedding plans are going well! I know that is a lot of work, but for something wonderful and happy to look forward to!

I hope work was not too bad this week, and that you were able to get some walks in with this heat. Time for me to go make chai!


1 reply
MusicCandy July 29th, 2023

@SadMe70

Hello my friend,

I'm so glad that you got to see the babies on video and share a little bit in the 100 days, whatever that is. It may be some sort of milestone that they are over the first months when things can go wrong, especially when there was not very good medical interventions. I know every bit of time that you get to interact with them is very precious.

Sleep is definitely an issue with us and for a lot of women it seems with hormones and in my case night shifts. I hope that the school routine will help with some pattern that works for you. My supplements do help me to fall asleep and I'm getting up anyway to go to the bathroom since I can;t talk myself out of drinking tea or a small glass of wine just before sleep anyway. They tell you not to, but I haven't been able to restrict fluids at night . I do take a short nap most evenings before the gym most weekdays, I am just sleepy then automatically. It is annoying when your brain won't stop going in circles.

The exercise thing is whatever you can work in, and walks with friends does hold you accountable. How long before the kids come back? I suppose you have some time to get things organized. Rachael and I did get our walks in, the hottest day we went really early. I'm at work and I don't feel like doing my stairs, but I do plan to get them in if its not too busy. My meals are so sporadic, I know better but I'm always concerned about Rachael and fiance more than me getting in my 5 to 9 fruits and veggies myself. I don't follow my own advice. I do have the fiber bars which are easy to grab, and I drink a lot of fluids all day. The heat is supposed to break tomorrow, thank goodness.

Church stuff is going fine. The hot dog picnic went well, but not as many showed up as we hoped. The Safe church planning is going great! I have everything on track so far and we still have 2 months away. Abi and Mark are both doing well. she has her final to finish today, If she does, she and Rachael are going to the Barbie movie. They don't get to do a lot of sister outings, but its always fun when they do. Abi and Marl saw Oppenheimer and said it was good, but long. I'm not a big movie fan and I have seen documentaries about him, history is my favorite to watch. Mark's next check up is next month i think. He is gradually getting his strength back and that's all i know for now.

Yes, Abi was relieved when the cat showed up, hiding. This is the kitten from our brood, but they are all over a year now. How are your animals doing with the heat? I guess you have to take some special care, it is record breaking and I feel for anyone or animal that is outside.

I can see you with your cup of chai, and I know that is a treat you look forward to. I have a cold drink too and at work, i'm just taking it one patient at a time until the AM. Till next time, stay cool.


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SadMe70 OP August 5th, 2023

Hello my friend, I am getting back into my routine. I actually exercised each weekday morning, though no walks yet. Also no yoga class this week, as my teacher was away. My meals have been not too bad, but I have already eaten three bad things at work. On the very first day they had mini bundt cakes at our schoolwide meeting, then subway subs and cookies for lunch on Thursday, and yesterday a food truck with bagels and cream cheese. In the past I would have skipped all of that except maybe a subway cookie. I am also still drinking every day and eating way too much chocolate at night. I am glad about the exercise though!

Work is going fine so far since we are just getting things ready. Kids come back Tuesday. One of my two favorite people on my team has moved into the guidance counselor position, and I will miss her very much from our team. The long term sub they got to replace her for a while quit after two days apparently, so I am not sure what they will do with that position now. They have changed our schedules around in a way I do not like. They further reduced our K literacy lesson time, and now have reduced our 1st grade literacy lesson time. They instead increased the amount of time that we go into grades for support, and the grade levels each decide how to use us during those times, so I will not know for a while exactly what I will be doing then, but it will still be K-2. Also, they reduced our planning time for four of us from 40 minutes to 20 minutes, which is crazy. That is not enough time to plan as many different groups as we will have, so I know I will end up staying late some days, grrr. Also, my team now has bus loop duty in the mornings, which I don't look forward to in rain and winter, but I do feel it's fair to rotate people out who may have been doing that duty for a while. My team has never had to do it in all the years I've been here, so it really is our turn.

This week I picked up my new glasses, and the reading power did not extend high enough in the lens. I could read something with the very bottom of the lens, but if I looked ahead at my tablet propped up on the table with an ebook, it was blurry. I took them back yesterday and they are going to remake the lenses. That's pretty much it for my week!

The weather was better this week, so I hope you enjoyed your walks! Have you still been getting your stairs done? When you go to the gym, is it for the pool or do you do other things there? How is your eating going? I know you are concerned about everyone else getting proper nutrition, but I hope you can take care of yourself too! I plan my meals around what I feel is healthy, and try to get my husband to eat them, but if he doesn't and/or eats more later (mainly meat) I can't do anything about that. He and I have different approaches to eating for sure.

I think you should definitely keep your evening tea and occasional wine despite having to go to the bathroom. It's a comforting ritual, and it's good for you mentally! I feel like my body is so used to getting up to pee at night, I will wake up regardless of how much I drink or not in the evening. Yours may be the same, so I say keep the tea and snack!

I am glad things are going well with your church activities! I hope more people participate in Safe Church than came to the picnic.

How did Abi's final go? Did Abi and Rachael get to have their sisters' day at the Barbie movie? I hope so! My sisters see each other a lot more than I see them, and I do feel left out and miss them. One of my friends saw Oppenheimer because her husband wanted to go, and she liked it pretty well, though as you say it was long. I have not been to a movie for years, definitely pre-COVID. I went to various superhero ones with my boys, movies I would not have chosen but mostly enjoyed, and mainly enjoyed getting to go out with them. I miss that!

I am glad for that heat spell to be over. There isn't much I can do for the goats and chickens. The chickens lay fewer eggs, but otherwise can tolerate it pretty well. The goats just have to stick to the shade. They are older and not super active anyway. I have been letting the cats in if they want to come in, and bringing the dog in more. She loves to be outside, and sits in the dirt under the porch if she gets really hot, unless we make her come in.

How was work this week? I know it is always busy, but I hope it was not too hectic!

My husband actually made the chai this week, and just brought me a cup, so I guess it is time to go drink it!

I hope your week has been good, my friend!


MusicCandy August 6th, 2023

Hello to you, my friend,

Good to get your note and see that you are getting re adjusted to normal life. I'm sure you needed that break time between the trip and school starting. That schedule sounds terrible. I always liked being with the kids, just me and them with music. When a teacher was involved, it just had a different dynamic. I hope it settles into some sort of manageable routine. Everyone is short on staff these days, no matter what your job is it seems.

Good for you getting back to exercise. When we go to the gym in the evening, Rachael gets in the indoor pool and fiancé gets in the hot tub, and I go upstairs and do a 20 minute strength routine with the machine, mostly upper body and some sit ups. We try to do that 4 days a week. If the outdoor pool is open, I'll get in that one, but it closes at 6. We have done that a few times. Thursday AM, Fiancé and I actually put out the tandem kayak for a couple of hours in the river. One of the launch areas was greatly improved and its fairly close. It was overcast and started raining just as we pulled out of the water, but that little break was nice.

My week was usual busy, but I was determined to do one thing that is stress relieving for me. I'd be in the river every day if I could. I am not much of a movie person. Abi saw Oppenheimer, and she said it was good, but loud and long. I like documentaries that tell the real story myself. She and Rachael are going to Barbie tomorrow. she finished the course wok, but the professor hasn't posted grades yet, and they were supposed to be out Aug. 1, /she emailed her advisor and he isn't much help either. She is anxious about it and no one has their grade , she thinks it will be a B, but no word yet.

I have a busy week, actually several weeks coming up with dental appointments, an OT shift next Tuesday. a also learned that I have to apply for my SS increase turning 70 next month. I thought it would com automatically, but that is not the case. I tried to fil out the form online, but I was scared I would do it wrong and then I'd be stuck. I've dealt with their mistakes before and it is a nightmare. So, I will have to go to the SS office in person one day, get there early and maybe not have to sit there all day. I am so looking forward to that final amount, it was a long time coming.

Work has ben busier than it has been lately, but I only have 6 hours to go now. If it really calms down and I get a nice break i may go to early service, but I don't have to this week, nothing special for me to do . We will see how it goes, I know you enjoyed your chai - I can smell the spices in my imagination. Thank you for sharing bits of your life with me.


SadMe70 OP August 12th, 2023

Hello my friend, week one of students wrapped up! I am still just helping generally in classrooms, no lessons yet, but slowly getting to know some new kids just from being in the rooms. I exercised all five mornings, but no walk or yoga in the afternoons. My walking group doesn't want to start up again yet until it gets cooler. I was going to walk on my own Tuesday, but I have gotten so lazy. Yoga has been cancelled two weeks in a row and on hold for now, because the teacher's father is not doing well. Sounds like he is on hospice care now. I did do a short video on yoga night to get in a little stretching. Nutrition-wise, my meals are still good, treat consumption still bad!

I have a friend who has been feeding my goats two mornings a week for several years so that prior to COVID I could get to the Y, and for the last few years I could meet my trainer virtually one morning and have a second longer exercise morning. She and her husband bought a house in PA a year or so ago and she has been driving down here every week because he is still working so still living here. She is tired of that so after Labor Day she will not be coming back regularly, so I am going to probably give up my trainer and my virtual Y membership. I could possibly meet the trainer in the afternoons, but once my walking and yoga get back going, I won't want to commit to another afternoon with something going on regularly. I will miss her and really miss my extra long exercise morning, but I can still do the shorter videos like I do the other mornings.

Your exercise routine sounds good! I was doing weights only once a week with the trainer. Once I stop seeing her, I am going to try to do weights maybe twice a week since it will be a shorter amount of time. I do a lot of squats/lunges with my cardio videos but not enough upper body or abs.

I am so glad you got out on your kayak! I have not been for several years and I miss it. I know you loved getting out on the water! It's a wonderful feeling. I really hope you can get out there more before it gets too cold.

I hope Abi got her grade by now! Was it a B? Were she and Rachael able to get to the Barbie movie? I hope they went and had a wonderful time!

I can hardly believe you are turning 70! You are so busy and active, and so much more energetic than I am at 53! I continue to be in awe of you and everything you do every week! Did you go to SS yet? I will cross my fingers for you that it goes as well as possible. I know they are not fun to deal with at all.

How did your overtime shift go on Tuesday? How was your week at work overall? What kind of dental work are you having done? I go Aug 21 to finally get a mold for the crown on my dental implant, then will have to schedule a second appointment to get the crown.

We are low on milk today, which I didn't realize before I got home yesterday, so the chai is not going to be as good as usual! We use one cup of water and 3 cups of milk. It looked like not much more than a cup in the container, but I am hoping it will be 2. A 50/50 mix might not be too bad!

I hope you are well and happy, and had a good week!


1 reply
MusicCandy August 13th, 2023

@SadMe70

Hello my friend, I hope you had your chai by now and that it turned out OK. I was out of herbal tea so my wine went up a bit, but still not 2 glasses a night. I am bringing some more herbal tea home so I can at least choose that a few nights this wek. I just have to think about how good it feels to taste the warm tea and how wonderful it smells - that makes me anticipate it and getting it ready is a treat in itself. Good for you getting in your exercise and good meals. Can you do a circuit of exercises with machines at the Y without the trainer , based on what you did before? When my shoulder was frozen I just copied what the PT prescribed on my own after a few weeks of paying out of pocket. Our gym membership includes all the classes, which I don't normally do, but I could - plus all the machines, treadmills, and 2 pools, so its worth it. I still pull up an online video sometimes to do and watch the moves while watching something on TV, takes my mind off it. We do what we can.

Abi did get her B - YEA! One more class before she walks in December. I'm proud of her determination and hard work. Mark is doing better too, check up in a coupe of weeks, YES, The sisters went to the Barbie movie, and you never heard such excited girl chatter! I'm blessed thar Abi wants to spend time with her sister and Rachael loves her so much.

My trip to SS went fine! I got there early and the lady started the process and discovered that somewhere there was a clerical error on my DOB - so I had to go back and get my birth certificate ,but it wasn't far from home. I brought it in and she copied it and we were done before 11 AM. So ready for that check..that will be a great birthday present.

I have to get a dental crown also, but not with an implant like you. She said what they usually say, I think to make you feel better -the cracked tooth is normal wear and tear, nothing you did.- but it was mostly filling anyway so maybe she's right. We are both going through the process, its no fun.

I hope school gets better and better and hope your pals will want to start walking, But I did hear it will be up to 102 Monday and Tuesday, so maybe after that. You are doing great to get in some exercise and eating healthy better than me. work on my extra shift wasnt too bad and now I'm on my last shift. It isnt terrible, but it is tiring for sure. I just try to power through it till tomorrow. Stay cool and calm, till next time.



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SadMe70 OP August 19th, 2023

Hello my friend, not much to report this week. School was ok. I started a few one-on-one ABC lessons with the lowest kids in my K class. Next week my team's schedule changes to our permanent schedule for the year. First and second grade will start their first round of literacy assessments, so we will help with covering classes.

I did my exercise videos all week in the mornings, and I really do enjoy doing them. I am still not walking in the afternoons, and yoga class has not resumed yet. My meals were mostly good, treats and wine still not great, so things are pretty much the same! Without my animal feeder, I don't have time to go to the Y in the mornings, so I will probably just drop my membership. I have been virtual-only since the pandemic started, only using the online trainer sessions. I plan to have one or two of my morning sessions at home include weights. Some days I wrote down what exercises the trainer had me do with the weights, so I can use some of those ideas sometimes too.

We watched the world cup semifinals this week, and one of the games was really good (Spain vs. Colombia). We will probably watch the 3rd place match tonight, and definitely the final tomorrow.

Congrats to Abi on her B!! Wow, only one more class to go - that is exciting too! I'm so glad the girls got to go to the movie together too. It sounds like they had a great time! My boys are occasionally able to play video games online together still, but not that often due to the time difference. I don't think they really interact much other than that unfortunately. I'm really glad to hear that Mark is feeling better too - what a relief! I continue to pray that things will continue to improve.

I am SO glad that the SS trip went so well, even with the snag. I know it's a big relief to have that over with, and now you can look forward to that well-deserved check! Have you decided when you might retire?

What kind of herbal tea did you get? I have a few that I really like, though mostly I drink some with some caffeine since I mainly drink the tea at work. My herbal ones are chamomile, lemon ginger, and another one that I haven't had in a while that I think includes a mango flavor. I have a bunch of different black and green ones. And of course, the weekend chai! I agree with you about how lovely it is to smell the tea, feel it warm in your hands and in your belly. Tea is a wonderful drink!

Have you gotten your dental crown yet? I go Monday afternoon to get the mold for mine. The appointment is not until 2:40, and is 30 minutes or so away from my school on the far side of Fredericksburg, but I have to take the half day. I can't remember if I leave at 12 or 12:30, but I will have a little extra time. I haven't decided yet what to do. If it was cooler, I would take a walk somewhere in Fredericksburg, but I think it might be too hot, and I don't want to go to the dentist dripping in sweat!

How was work this week? Did you have extra shifts? Any thoughts on what you will do with all that extra time once you retire??

I was glad to hear all your good things this week, SS going well, Abi's B, Mark doing better, and the girls having such a great time together! I hope this week had some good things too!

Until next week, my friend!


1 reply
MusicCandy August 20th, 2023

@SadMe70

Its always so nice to get you note, its like peeking in someone else's diary. I think I still have one from when I was 8 or 9. It is an accomplishment to get your exercise in one way or another, and pretty good meals on your end too. The snacks are hard to resist. A coworker brought in KK yesterday and I ate one slightly warm, after a long time doing without one. Actually 1 and a half. Someone else ate one half, s o what are you gonna do? My weekday meals are still sporadic, but I did make a great mixed salad for work and ate most of it and some cherries. Ra and I got in our walks last week and i did the stairs tonight at work. I will have plenty to do when I do decide to call it quits here. I always feel like the necessary tasks just roll on day after day, and it will be different not to have that stress. TI am going to try to make it until after the wedding in april, but I can get by if I just need to stop.

Abi got their wedding website up last week and I have NEVER in my life, weddings these days! She is definitely pulling off the full deal. The venue doesn't allow children, and so she has a "flower man" - Really! I'm going to try hard not to laugh. You can pull it up easily on the web.. it is Markandabigail.com, If you search Markandabigail Richmond, I think it will come up as their wedding site. She is not done with it yet.

I'm glad school is panning out to some routine for you. Kids do make it interesting as they always come up with something new and funny. It can be so rewarding to see them blossom and grow in learning. I applaud you for your work with them, not many people are willing and able to have the patience it takes. I found a spinet piano on Marketplace for my 3 children students and their family is having it come to them next week. They have been learning on a keyboard and I don't know why it took so long for the Dad to look for himself - but they paid me 50 for finding it and checking it out in person, so I should not complain. I;m so excited for them.

I hope your dental appt goes well . F'berg is a pretty town to take a walk, but i hear it is going to be hot next week. mine was rescheduled, dentist sick. Rachael and Fiance both have appointments coming up, and i need to have my wellness visit - got to get all that done next 2 weeks.

It's good to stay busy anyway, and I got some notebooks for church organized. Healing Sunday tomorrow, so I hope i get a little rest so I can be the prayer minister early service. After that, a break and shopping for groceries. Enjoy your chai, I like most any herbal tea, mint, ginger, chamomile, and anything else someone wants to send me! Sending prayers for you too. till next time.


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SadMe70 OP August 26th, 2023

Hello my friend! What a nice wedding site! I am honored that you shared it with me. The photo of the mother of the bride is lovely, and I feel especially honored to see that!

I agree with you about weddings these days. My son's was ridiculously expensive. They also had a flower man! I guess that is a thing these days too. They had no children at their wedding either, and had an extra friend of my son's that they couldn't fit into the wedding party. The guy was hysterical. He was totally straight faced, pirouetting and throwing petals around, including into my son's face. I quite enjoyed the flower man!

My week has been the usual, good meals, morning exercise, too many treats/alcohol. My yoga class started back this week, and I really enjoyed that. My friends started walking this week but I had already scheduled errands that day since I didn't know, but hopefully this coming Tuesday I will join them.

I have some ranting and whining about my son. Our only video call with them since I got back from Korea was on the 100 day celebration, which was just loud and full of her family. I asked him if we could do one when it was just them, so it would be quieter and he agreed. They could not do it last weekend because they were on a vacation with her family, so he said we could this weekend. I messaged them Wed morning to ask if we could still do it, and which day and time. Thurs night they finally replied "yes sure" with no day or time. I asked again right away what day and time, no answer. I asked Friday morning whether we were doing the call that night or not, and they finally said yes, still no time given. So they called before I got home and I missed it. I called them back 3 times. They finally called me back. She went off to take a shower. We talked to the babies about ten minutes and one started to fuss, then the other. My son handed off a baby, I thought to my DIL but turned out to be her mother, and then they both fell asleep. I also realized later, since they weren't looking at us at all, that since they are calling on a phone, the picture is so small that they probably can't even see us. The call was a total letdown, and I can't tell you the awful stab of jealousy I felt when I saw it was her mom taking the baby off during our call time. Plus frustration that they can take an entire trip with her family, but not commit to a day and time for a call with us.

I asked my son if he is playing my "Grandma's Library" recordings for them so they can at least hear my voice, and he said yes, but I don't even know if I believe him. Neither of them has ever said one word to me about the recordings, that they like them, or a comment about any one specific video. The few people that know I am doing it have been so effusive about what a great idea it is, but my son and DIL don't seem to care at all. I am probably being overly sensitive, but it means a lot to me as one link to grandchildren who will barely know me, and I wish they would at least indicate that they think so too.

Also, they said they were going to try and visit in December, but were trying to save up money so they didn't have to load up their credit card. On Tuesday my son said he found a good direct flight. I told him to book it and I would pay off his card, and we could work it out later. I also told them both a month ago that they can use my car instead of renting one. It is only 4 years old, and has the modern car seat tether spots top and bottom. I also said I would ask people I know to borrow baby equipment like portacribs. They still have not booked it, and my son cited the costs again. I again repeated that I would pay off the card and they could use my car. He acted like he never knew I offered about the car. I feel like he, she, or both really don't want to come. I am not going to press him anymore about booking the flight. I can't pour my heart and emotions into this, only to be met with indifference. I felt good about things after my trip, but now am back to struggling. Ok, ranting and whining mode off. Thank you for reading!!

A warm KK is VERY hard to resist!! Someone gave me a KK gift card, and earlier this year I bought a dozen and I think I ate 3 before I even got home. We have gotten some cherries from the grocery store lately and they were SO good. I don't normally buy them because they are so expensive, but they just looked too good. I have been mostly eating salads in my work lunch. I have been able to get some local greens, and we have a few tomatoes in our garden.

I am glad to hear you are getting in your walks and stairs! I know what you mean about tasks rolling on. I have so little energy or motivation this past year. I think it is partly the permanent heavy sadness related to my son, but also my hormones are definitely dropping. I've had one period since April. I'm not having any extreme symptoms like hot flashes, but I think it's affecting my body in general.

It was so nice of you to help that family find a piano! That will be so nice for those kids, definitely better than a keyboard. It's also nice that you checked it out in person, since the parents probably wouldn't know if it was any good. I hope they really enjoy it!

My dental appointment was fine, molds taken. I go Sept 5 for the crown. I ended up using my extra time to go to Target and spend a gift card, then to Barnes & Noble to sit in their Starbucks and practice my Korean on my tablet. I have 4 Starbucks gift cards, but they don't take them inside the B&N - annoying! I don't drink coffee, but I got some nice hot tea and spent almost an hour there. Very nice treat!

Did you all get all of your appointments accomplished that you had scheduled? Were you able to get your dentist rescheduled?

It's already afternoon when I am writing, so I've already had my chai! I did some things outside, so I've just showered, and getting ready for a late lunch, and then grocery shopping. I have a lot of meals in the freezer, so I am not sure if I will do any cooking this weekend.

I hope your week has gone well, and I look forward to reading your next note!


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MusicCandy August 26th, 2023

@SadMe70

O, I cant imagine how disappointed you must feel, dear one. The way they are treating you is so unfair. I am sure you did not raise your son to be that insensitive and selfish. It is totally wrong of them to not include you and your husband on special occasions, or actually at all. Calling so many times without a clear reply is just awful and so stressful, no wonder you feel bad. And I know, its not like you can just push those feelings away when you love them so much. Feel free to let it out at least to me. I can't change it, but i will always be your remote shoulder . Children can be the best or the worst as we go through life, and you are going through such a hard time, when you can be prone to sadness anyway - none of this is your fault. I can only listen and be truly sad with you.

I'm glad you got back to yoga, and hopefully the walks too. Ive never been a fan of walking with a friend except Rachael, and we keep up a pretty brisk pace. She had a fall at day support and skinned her knee. It didn't seem to be healing fast enough for me so I took her in to the doctor. She didn't say she needed an antibiotic oral, but I'd already started one anyway. But she did give me some good advice about soaking and bandaging ect and its much better now. I just knew the weekend was coming up and she would be with her Dad, not me. I worry a lot when it comes to her. We still got our walks in, it didn't seem to be sore with walking and I'm sure she will be fine.

Other than that, not much news, meals and exercise about the same. I did like having the salad prepared, and I should keep that up along with some fresh fruit. I fixed the Shelter meal Monday and a friend of fiance's gave him a bunch of farm cherry tomatoes. I sliced them with cucumber and added a vinaigrette for the guys along with the other entrees, We don't serve them in person anymore, but we drop it off - all since COVID. so we don't hear the thank yous, but I'm sure they enjoyed it.

Fiance's dental appt next week, mine the following week. and plenty to do in between. I haven't gotten my new amount award letter from Social Security, so I hope that went through. work isn't too bad so far. Do one thing to care for yourself, you already had your chai, so it will have to be something else. I'm counting on us to be there for each other.

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