@MusicCandy @SadMe70 New place to communicate

I had to send you an extra message. Yesterday I booked plane tickets for mom and myself to go to Korea in late June for two weeks. She insisted on business class so I am spending my entire tax refund on plane tickets but at least I did not have to dip into my savings. Today I booked us an airbnb apartment to stay in, in a 2 story house. I think the owners live on the first floor. It is an older couple. He is a retired police superintendent. The house is cute, SUPER cheap ($35/night), lots of good reviews. There are taxis that we can take to my son's house but the owner said on days he is not busy he will drive us! The cheap housing partially balances out the expensive plane tickets. I am feeling excited today, and trying very hard to keep that up and minimize the anger and sadness.

Hello my friend. I have had a good couple of weeks. The bridal shower was very nice, and as always I enjoyed spending several days with my mom. The day before I went, I watched a DVD of pictures that the funeral home had assembled when dad died and had a huge sobbing cry that was a big relief. I needed that cry. I spent Friday with mom and my sister, then Saturday was our big family lunch in dad's honor, and came home Sunday. This past week I have managed to mostly eat well, and at least decreased the amount of alcohol I drank on weeknights even though I had some most nights. I got one short walk this week, but have done my morning videos most days. I am still trying to hang on to excited feelings and keep the depression, anger, and sadness at bay. It is a challenge, and I am grateful for your help during my "dark" times.

How did the PET scan go yesterday? Is it too soon for results? Is the dental surgery still on for Monday? I can't imagine how scary this is for all of you. I am praying and hoping. I am glad you are able to help Abi financially as well as with all your other support. Seeing your child deal with terrible things is so hard for a mother. I am praying for YOU as well. With your fiance's heart problems on top of that, I know you are all struggling. It is so much to deal with at once.

I am glad that you and Rachael have been able to take advantage of the nicer weather and longer light to get some walks. And that you have stuck with the herbal tea. I pray that every cup of tea you drink at night gives you comfort and continued strength for all you are dealing with.

I visited a tea shop when I was out with mom and bought myself some black tea that is plum scented and flavored. It smells so nice! I take tea to work every day, and it was nice to have a new one. I have so many teas, but I always enjoy getting a new one.

Happy birthday to Rachael! I hope that she will enjoy her day. It is a blessing that she is healthy and happy. My uncle who had Down Syndrome was a lot like that, content and happy much of the time. We had birthday parties at McDonald's for him and he always had a really good time. I have a picture of him on one of the toys in the old style play area that they had before they put in those tunnels and ball pits, with a big smile on his face.

Hang in there, my strong friend, one day at a time. I hope that something makes you smile today!

Hello my friend, just a quick note on Friday night. I am not feeling great - allergies I think - and I have a big, long day tomorrow. I have to be up at 6 and will be gone most of the day, with an event at school and then dinner with my son for his birthday. I know I will not have time to write in the morning. I will write on Sunday, but you might not get that until next weekend, so I wanted to at least let you know I am thinking of you.

Thanks for taking the time to write a note, my sweet friend. I'm on the short end of writing too. however, some potential promising news. The PET scan did not show any metastasis to other areas, but it still can't be completely ruled out yet. He had the initial planning visit last week, and first step is surgery to the tongue, and that should be pretty soon. also planning to remove all the lymph nodes on the side that is affected . That is a extended recovery time, but after that not sure. Certainly radiation and maybe chemo. He finally got the pain meds he needs so that was a plus too. small things just to help them get by day to day. Abi is still getting A on her course and I'm proud of my brave girl.

For now, both of his parents are involved in the doctor visits and I hope his mom stays in Rich. until after the surgery - don't know though. I'm done with the church dinners for now and they went well.

I hope you have a nice dinner with your son, and then Spring break? I know the schools are different, but ours are out next week. I feel like we are both in some kind of limbo holding pattern, just hoping things wont get any harder at least. I'm thinking of you too and it is nice that we are here in it together..

Hello my friend! I had an ok week, hanging in there with eating pretty well and exercising regularly. One short walk again, on Tuesday. I am feeling *** since Thursday, pretty sure it is allergies. The drip down my throat, headache, the usual allergy stuff. Allegra has not been helping, so today I am switching to claritin. My husband had two scary episodes in the last 24 hours, maybe brought on by allergies but we are not sure. His throat suddenly closed up and he could not breathe. Thank God I had an albuterol inhaler that I got when I had bronchitis in December. It took about 5 puffs each time but opened him back up. I worry about him being alone during the week since I had to run and get the inhaler for him both times. He is terrible about remembering to carry necessary things on his person. We got him a smart watch because he forgets to keep his phone with him, and now he doesn't wear the watch either. So frustrating!

I am so glad that the news from the PET scan was at least promising. Tongue surgery and the lymph removal sound plenty scary without any worse news. I hope that there truly is no metastasis. I'm so glad also that he has pain meds now, and sorry that it took them so long to get him some relief. I do hope his mom can stay through as much of his surgical recovery as possible. The more people and support for your daughter and her fiance, the better.

I am also proud of your daughter! What an amazing woman to maintain her A with everything they are going through, plus planning a wedding! Kudos to her, and to the amazing woman who raised her!

My day yesterday was absolutely wonderful. The PTA event was called Touch A Truck, which I never heard of but apparently is a known event that schools do. They had at least 50 cool vehicles for kids to climb in, honk horns, etc. There were tow trucks on up to the giant ones that two 18 wheelers, garbage trucks, a car carrier, limos, a red racecar, backhoes, tractors, so many cool things. Plus face painting, a giant tire swing, snow cones, other food trucks. Lots of people came and everyone I saw looked like they were having a great time. We took my husband's ambulance for kids to get in and run the sirens, plus he has a railroad crossing bell and a submarine klaxon (he's an old sub sailor). He had a wonderful time, since he is mostly at home alone, and it did him good mentally. We followed it up with a very nice sushi dinner with our son and his fiance.

My spring break was a couple of weeks ago, but we do have 2 days off for Easter. Also, since we did not use any of the extra days built in for snow cancellations, they decided to end school two days early at the end of the year! I suspect it is partly so they don't have to pay support staff like me extra, since we are contracted for a set number of days, but I will take it! So now we end May 23 which is absurdly early, and on the flip side I go back July 31, equally absurd. I don't get their calendar planning, but I will go with the flow! I already scheduled my annual physical on the first extra day off, and will try to get the gynecologist the next day. Colonoscopy is on board for June 1, so I am kicking off the summer in style!

I think I have been close to a month with no recurrence of the depression. Continuing to avoid *** so I don't see pics of my son with her family, to try and keep my anger down too. Since a C-section is scheduled for April 22, I will be a grandmother within the next 20 days, and I am truly feeling some excitement. Trying very hard to hang on to that feeling above the others!

We missed our chai yesterday since we had to leave early for the truck event, so I am getting ready to go make some now. I continue to pray for your family, and I continue to be so grateful to have you here through my ups and downs, hoping that I can support you through yours.

@SadMe70

You're so brave for coming here ♥️

Hello my friend, nothing much has happened since last weekend. I did go to the dentist on Tuesday and my molar is cracked, so I will go back in two weeks to get the temp crown. Hoping it does not need a root canal! So that is more days I am taking off work, sigh. Also I have used up most of my dental benefits on the implant so a lot of this is coming out of pocket, but I can't wait for July when the benefits roll around.

I got a covid booster Thursday, the one with two strains. I did it that day since I had yesterday off, since every other shot has made me sick for a day. Right on schedule, I woke up feeling achy and awful, and this morning I am totally fine except for a sore arm.

I was eating well up until Wednesday when a teacher gave us a bunch of chocolate in our office and another one gave us cookies, as part of a day of thanking the support staff. I ate a lot of both. I did also get two potted flowers and some nice cards from kids. It was really very sweet! I hope to take a long walk today and maybe tomorrow to try and get those calories burned! I have been doing my regular exercises, and I got a short walk on Tuesday. Still drinking wine or scotch most nights.

Grandchildren countdown is on. C-section scheduled for April 20. Back when my son first told me they were having twins, I immediately ordered a shirt that said "I can't keep calm, I'm a grandma of twins." After he told us he was moving, I could not bear to look at it, and when I put away all the korean stuff in the house, I actually burned the shirt in my burn cage where we burn cardboard. I know people would think I am crazy, but I needed to physically destroy it to let out some of my grief. I didn't even tell my husband I did that. This week, I ordered another one that I hope will come in time for me to wear it to work the day after they are born. All part of my attempt to hold onto excitement and try to keep the darker feelings away.

I hope the pain meds are helping your daughter's fiance so at least he has a little respite, and that your fiance is doing as well as he can too. I pray for your family every day. I hope you have had time for your walks and things for YOU, since you are doing so much for everyone else.

Happy Easter!

Hello my friend, not too much to report from this week. I ate ok and did all my morning exercise. I got three walks this week! A long one last Sunday, my usual short one Tuesday, and a nice one yesterday after work, cut short by the rain but still very nice. I struggled a bit with my mood, not able to hang onto the better feelings I had for several weeks. Today should be a good day though. We are visiting my son and his fiance for her birthday. I think her parents will be there, and I don't really like her mom, and am awkward around her dad, but this will be the first time we hung out in a small group so maybe I will get to know them better. I am feeding my friend's goats and attempting to milk them tomorrow, Tuesday, and maybe Monday. I have a dentist appointment Monday morning to get the temporary crown on my cracked molar (last time turned out to be just a consult), and then with the surgeon Tuesday afternoon to check the implant. So I have a busy several days coming up.

How did the surgery go? I imagine the recovery from that is going to be tough, and I know this is just the beginning. I feel bad for everything he has gone through already - it sounds terrible. I can imagine your helpless feeling. It's so hard to watch a loved one go through something that you can't do anything about.

Your daughter's semester must be nearly over. Will she have finals for that class? Will she take a summer class? Fingers crossed that she will get that A! She has worked so hard, I know!

I am glad they got nice engagement photos! My son did that also. I had not heard of doing that when I was young but it seems to be the thing now. Were the pictures on that big staircase? My family is coming a day early for the wedding to spend the day in Richmond, and my sister wanted to spend the night at the Jefferson until she saw the prices. Several years ago my sisters and I did a walking food tour and the last stop was the Jefferson, and she always remembered how beautiful it is there.

I am praying for the babies to be healthy. There is a higher chance of chromosomal disorders due to her PCOS, though the tests they did so far were all negative. They are plenty big so that part is good, just over 6 pounds each. Apparently they can approximate the weight pretty well, from ultrasounds I guess. Can I ask what Rachael's disability is? I will not be upset if that is too personal a question and you do not want to say. I know from my uncle that it is tough to have a child/sibling with a disability. He lived at home with my grandparents and my aunt and uncle who never married, and my aunt took a lot of care of him his whole life, especially after my grandparents died. He was really almost like her own child.

I hope that work is not too crazy this week, and that you get as many walks as you can. I hope your evening tea and snacks are still going strong too, and that you are enjoying Marie Antoinette! Keep hanging in there my friend! I am trying to do the same!

Hello, my friend,

I am always looking forward to catching up with you on week-ends. As to everything, going on with the both of us, it looks like - not great, but could be worse, I hope the walks will help you feel better about the good things in your life as I find that to be true for me in pretty much all circumstances. I hope the goat milking deal goes fine- its something you enjoy at least. Can you make some cheese or yogurt with the milk?

Rachael and I got most of our walks in last week - one day it was 85 degrees! I don't mind sharing about her disability at all, especially with you. She had a strep B infection passed from me to her during labor. Back then, they didn't test routinely, and now they do - and it is easy to treat if mom is positive close to birth - with antibiotics. I was active in having the rules changed along with some other parents whose babies even dies from it. It is a long road with her, but things are good now.

The pictures were all over the Jefferson, staircase, the phone booth for fun and lots of them of other pretty spots. When my mom and sisters visited years ago, we had High Tea there and i had a photographer come and shoot the whole time- we got fun pics that I still keep. The prices are very high, and I hope the bride and groom can have their honeymoon first night there, but we will see.

Mark's surgery went well, as far as we know he won't need reconstruction of his tongue. They removed the lymph glands too and that all went to the lab. We just have to wait to see what else might be involved - but he is up and drinking fluids and very pureed soups. They are in good spirits and Abi is getting an A in the class, 2 weeks to go. she is planning to take summer classes too, since they can't go anywhere on VACAY anyway. We are going to look at dresses in F'berg next week.

I hope the birthday time was OK for you. I'd feel ill at ease too, even though we know really , they are just people. But you and I don't care for spending time with most people anyway! I will say prayers for the babies and everyone that the birth goes well.. I know it is excruciating for you to be so far away, so special prayers for you too.

I have a really busy week coming up- Sunday, I have to go to church for Anointing and Healing service working day shift Monday and then getting food together for the shelter meal, Tuesday, Vestry meeting, Wednesday piano, and Thursday working night shift after our trip to F'berg and it starts all over again. I hope all your appointments go OK too, Dentist is never fun. I hope you get some fun at some point, and I'll carve out some too.