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Trolls are everywhere on the internet but it doesn’t mean they should ruin your day. Dealing with trolls is never a fun experience.
As per Wikipedia, a troll [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_troll]is: “…a person who posts inflammatory, insincere, digressive, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community (such as a newsgroup, forum, chat room, or blog), with the intent of provoking readers into displaying emotional responses, or manipulating others’ perception.”
In simple words, they are someone who enjoys disrupting supportive atmospheres and attacking people. They thrive on attention. The more attention you give them, the more they thrive. The more people they trouble, the more they feel better about themselves.
I see them as someone who had a rough time in their life and didn’t get much support and attention. But instead of seeking support through appropriate channels, they follow the path of disruption as it seems to draw others’ attention more quickly than any other way. And, soon it becomes an addiction for them to feel seen, acknowledged, and heard by others. But, it is an unhealthy approach that they developed and I wish they may take the healthy path and get all support they deserve. May they get well soon and have a swift recovery from this vicious cycle of disrupting support for others.
Please know needing attention is not bad. But, needing attention and taking the wrong route is bad/harmful because it is not doing any good to anyone.
This topic is necessary to discuss in order to find ways to tackle this challenge. In this post, I am sharing a few tips that you may use to handle this unwanted mess and have better support and peace of mind.
Before we dive into tips, trolls can target anyone, if they choose to instigate conflict with you, know that it is nothing personal. Therefore it is helpful to know these tips in case you end up needing them.
* Zero Attention, Zero Trolls
They thrive on your attention. The more you engage with them, the more they will trap you in, provoking further to get engagement and give responses. It is a vicious loop. It needs to break.
I know it is difficult to restrain yourself from giving a response but, by replying, you are adding fuel to the fire. In order to break this cycle, all you need is not to engage with them.
* Mute, Block, Report
As much as it is hard to restrain from giving a response, you will need this step. It is necessary because the troll might not stop and keep coming. Please use your personal mute, report, and block buttons to get rid of them from your space. If they are in a live group chat, and if everyone uses their personal mutes and reports them, they will be cleaned out from the room and everyone can continue having their support or friendly conversations until a moderator may remove them completely.
But, sometimes they get on your nerves, and you may forget to use the above two tips and instead you started engaging with them in a spat. In those situations try these!
* Decompress yourself
Before giving any reaction or response, take a deep breath and know they don’t know you. Nothing is personal there. They just want to make you upset and achieve their goal of garnering attention.
With that thought, keep yourself calm and composure to return and respond to them. Try to keep an open and clear mind.
* Disarm them with Kindness and Humor
I know it is not easy to respond with compassion to some hurtful and hateful comments. But as trolls are usually looking to pick fights in order to prove their point, try the opposite route. The route of kindness and humor.
When you are not giving them anything to pick a fight with, they disengage soon and switch to targeting another member. But if we all do the same, they may decide to leave. And it is 110% effective because I noticed it utilized by a bunch of members in the group chats.
Rather than becoming defensive, respond to them with a kind, uplifting and positive approach. Use your humor and have some good laughs. However, keep your boundaries in check. Because sometimes in the flow, you might overstep and the outcome will be the opposite of disarming them. Instead, they will engage further and take their troll game to the next level.
Please know trolls are as big as you make them. They thrive on drama. If you do not participate, you are successful in eliminating them in their own game.
We all have our fair share of challenges and struggles and we need support. Not some drama by some attention-seeking folklore. Please utilize your time in the community to share, discuss, talk and vent about your challenges and get support and listen, inspire and encourage others to share and offer support. We all can use some support in this healing journey.
Let’s take a pledge today that we won’t let any troll thrive on our watch. We won’t engage and instantly, mute, report, and block them. We will take care of ourselves and each other together.
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Further Recommended Readings On The Topic
* Handling trolls: Using the Science of Behaviour Change [https://www.7cups.com/forum/ListenerLearningJourney_149/ListenerResourcesMockChatGuides_2381/HandlingtrollsUsingtheScienceofBehaviourChange_216074/]
* Trolling and How To Protect Yourself [https://www.7cups.com/forum/SiteUpdates_100/HsHangout_1970/TrollingandHowToProtectYourself_255019/]
* Trolling: Mutual Responsibility! Here is how you can help! [https://www.7cups.com/forum/ListenersOnlyForums_38/LaurasOffice_169/TrollingMutualResponsibilityHereishowyoucanhelp_26570/1/]
* Trolling Immunity Oath [https://www.7cups.com/forum/GroupSupport_168/ParticipantsCorner_2318/TrollingImmunityOath_42720/]
