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How To Support Neurodiverse Members

ASilentObserver August 25th, 2021
Today I want to discuss neurodiversity and how to support them better in different spaces of our community. We are a diverse community and everyone has a unique personality, challenges, and needs. And, we are an inclusive community where everyone is welcomed.

Let's start with understanding neurodiversity! Neurodiverse individuals are those with developmental disabilities like autism, ADHD, social anxiety. But, point to understand that when we say disabled, it means they are differently-abled. Just like our unique personality. We all have our own struggles but these struggles do not define who we are. It defines a phase of the challenge and struggles we facing. For some this challenging phase can be short-term while for others it may be a bit longer.

Now, let's focus on understanding some terminologies

1. Aspie: Someone who has Asperger’s syndrome, which is on the autism spectrum.

2. Autism: a neurological disorder characterized by repetitive behavior, difficulties communicating, and problems establishing and maintaining relationships.

3. Autism awareness: A movement about spreading awareness and acceptance of people on the autism spectrum.

4. Neurotypical: A person who doesn’t display atypical thought patterns or behaviors.

5. Stimming: Self-soothing, repetitive body movements which autistic people do in response to over-stimulation or emotional stress. Common ‘stims’ are rocking back-and-forth motions, hand flapping, and arm and leg rubbing.

How to Support

Here are some resources that you will find helpful to support neurodiverse members better. These resources are informative and share a lot of information that all of us (Fellow Members, Listeners, Room Supporters, Chatroom Moderators) can use. All the texts in blue are hyperlinked and clickable.

1. A Guide to Autism
2. Ways to Build Relationships and Rapport
3.
Supportive Phrases and Questions for Member Chatrooms!


Supporting a member with the neurodiverse challenge
I hope you may find the above resources helpful. Members with neuro-diverse challenges like autism, ADHD, social anxiety can add different perspectives and strengths into our community. Everyone has challenges. But as a community, we can show respect, patience, care, and compassion to them and each other. Compassion goes a long way. Let's be kind to our fellow neurodiverse members.

Please do share if you have more resources, tips to support them better in the comments of this post. We will continue to strive to offer support and learn how to support each other better and together.


Resources Credits: @gracey @sunshinegiraffe123 @Fristo
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xoBeebosBubsxo August 25th, 2021

@ASilentObserver
Such a wonderful post! Thank you for helping educate the communtiy on this lovely topic!
Thank you also for the resources added: @gracey @sunshinegiraffe123 @Fristo

1 reply
sunshinegiraffe123 August 25th, 2021

@xoBeebosBubsxo
Your welcome. Thanks for reading.

Tagging @Artalistens

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Emmyi August 25th, 2021

@ASilentObserver
A wonderful post and a beautiful lesson ❤💕

August 25th, 2021
@ASilentObserver

Wow this was an amazing and very educational post! Thank you for taking time to discuss this!!

XX
-🧜‍♀️
2 replies
sunshinegiraffe123 August 25th, 2021

@calmingMermaid5761
I was gonna tag you but i forogt your numbers 🥺

1 reply
August 25th, 2021
@sunshinegiraffe123
Aww that’s okay! Thank you for thinking of me :’) 🥰
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cafedaydreams August 25th, 2021

I had ADHD as a child (and I suspect I still have some symptoms as an adult), but I've never used the term 'neurodivergent' to refer to myself because I just don't like it. I know other people do, but to me using that term makes me feel more separated from others, like thinking a bit differently is considered 'wrong' somehow...

Just some thoughts. Really like the post! :)

12 replies
sunshinegiraffe123 August 25th, 2021

@cafedaydreams
Would you rather it be described as an exceptionality?

11 replies
cafedaydreams August 25th, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123
Hmm I'm not real sure. Exceptionality. Perhaps. I just know that the 'neurodivergent' term usually carries negative connotations where Im from, even though it's generally accepted by many these days.

I just don't personally consider my thinking skills all that much different from others? Sure my mind gets muddled and it takes me a little longer to focus, but I don't consider it a big enough deal to call it a whole other term.

I'm only speaking for myself of course. I know it's not the same for others.

10 replies
sunshinegiraffe123 August 25th, 2021

@cafedaydreams
Theres a good thread in support plus about something similar to what your saying although I forget exactly where. It mentions that some view things as helpful and others don't.

have you joined support plus ?

9 replies
cafedaydreams August 25th, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123
I haven't but I'll definitely check it out. Thanks! :)

8 replies
sunshinegiraffe123 August 25th, 2021

@cafedaydreams
Yiure welcome . This and that community as well as disiability support go hand in hand.

7 replies
IceCream4IceCream August 26th, 2021
@sunshinegiraffe123 thank you so much for helping out and explaining things to @cafedaydreams. Cafe, it's your choice how you'd prefer to describe yourself. I identify as neurodiverse, some identify as disabled, etc. It's your identity. If you have learning difference and are considered gifted, it is called twice exceptionality. smiley

Interesting Forum Discussion here about terms we use to describe ourselves.

Discussion about the term gifted and twice-exceptional.
6 replies
cafedaydreams August 26th, 2021

@jovialButterfly6752
Thank you for the links! I've never heard of the term exceptionality when it comes to learning disabilities and differences, so thanks for explaining :)

5 replies
IceCream4IceCream August 26th, 2021

@cafedaydreams

I suppose exceptionality might refer to giftedness and twice exceptionality is when you have both learning differences and are gifted. No worries :)

4 replies
cafedaydreams August 26th, 2021

@jovialButterfly6752
I see!
I'd also like to say that another reason I'm hesitant to call myself neirodiverse is because I keep getting conflicting info from doctors about if I still have ADHD. I heard people say that they grow out of it as an adult, but I don't think that's true. I went to a clinic once to discuss the possibility that I still had it and they were really hesitant to put me back on medication/diagnosed me with it, claiming that it may just be my anxiety disorder.

I guess I'll figure it out eventually ^°

3 replies
IceCream4IceCream August 26th, 2021

@cafedaydreams


I've explained this in different posts before. You can't "outgrow it" because you're born with it. What might happen is (a) you cope with your symptoms/traits better so it doesn't affect you in a detrimental wat as much, (b) traits look different in adults: so people just might not realise it :) you can't "cure it"

Also, anxiety can affect ADHD and vice versa. It would be good for the clinic to isolate whether anxiety is affecting your attention more or ADHD or both :) looking into all possibilities is good! I'm no expert of coruse but hpe you get the support you deserve <3 you can ask your healthcare provider for more information.

LittlePrincessSarah August 26th, 2021

@cafedaydreams as far as I know the people who coined the term neurodiversity didn't intend to separate people into normal and abnormal. The whole point of the them is based on the Idea that we all are neurologically diverse. We all have our uniqueness.
Sadly those terms get wrongly used as synonyms for medical diagnosis of ADHD, autism etc.

1 reply
IceCream4IceCream August 30th, 2021

@LittlePrincessSarah well said!

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tidyFarm162 August 25th, 2021

@ASilentObserver
thank u for making me aware of this
@sunshinegiraffe123 💛🧡❤️💚💙💜

Izzy274 August 25th, 2021

Thank you for this post! It's really educational and the resources are going to be super helpful :) .

emotionalTalker2260 August 25th, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123
from one neurodivergent to another
🙂 allie I am so proud of you I'm gonna start cry happy tears😄
*hugs allie*
and thank you to everyone behind the scenes. As an autistic person myself I thank you's for writing this🙂

1 reply
kindLemonade September 3rd, 2021

@emotionalTalker2260

**hugs**

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FrozenGhost August 25th, 2021

Is social anxiety classified as a "devekopmental disability"? I realize of course that infividuals on the Autism Spectrum have challenges socialilzing with others secondary to their Autism, but I understood social anxiety to be a separate issue. Not all those who stuggle socially do so because of Autism.

1 reply
IceCream4IceCream August 26th, 2021

@FrozenGhost You're absolutely right (see my post below). Social anxiety is not a neurodevelopmental/developmental condition. It's a type of Anxiety Disorder: a complex phobia. I have described more below.

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IceCream4IceCream August 26th, 2021
@ASilentObserver

Yay!!! So glad there is a post on Neurodiversity! :) Also, there are lots of neurodiverse listeners/leaders on 7 Cups including myself :)

Here are a few things I want to say.

1. Neurodiversity includes ADHD, Autism Spectrum Conditions, and Specific Learning Differences like Dyslexia, Dyspraxia,and Dyscalculia.

2. Some people with these conditions consider them to be intrinsic to their identity. They might not think they have a disability/deficit/disorder! Please respect an individuals' preferences: ask them how they would like to be referred to and how they feel about their neurodevelopmental condition. E.g. autistic person vs person on the spectrum/ person with ASC or ASD.

3. The term neurodiversity was coined by Judy Singer who—quoting an article from Web MD (Bhandari, 2021)— is "a sociologist who has autism...It refers to the concept that certain developmental disorders are normal variations in the brain. And people who have these features also have certain strengths".

Regarding terminologies and conditions

1. Autism Spectrum Conditions/ Disorders (ASCs): please refer to my post here on this group of neurodevelopmental conditions. Sometimes people on the spectrum might experience social anxiety as a co-occuring/co-morbid condition. Before the Diagnostic Statistical Manual Version 5 DSM-V; Asperger's syndrome and Pervasive Developmental disorder were some of the conditions that are now joined under the term "Autism Spectrum Condition". I would like to note that Aspie is an outdated term which not everyone uses anymore, and it is no longer an official diagnostic term. Some people in the autistic commmunity/ some people on the spectrum find it offensive (Hans Asperger who the term is named after did some terrible things) so it would be good to remember that! There are people who still identify as "Aspies" those so please respect peoples' personal preferences heart


People with other neurodevelopmental conditions/ forms of neurodiversity might experience social anxiety as a co-morbidity too! Social Anxiety is a type of anxiety disorder: specifically it is a complex phobia. You can get more support for social anxiety in this sub-forum in the Anxiety Support sub-community, or read about it in the listener or member training guides/self-help guides.

2. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD): I'll be making a post to explain ADHD next week (this was planned anyways for SP+) but very simply it is another neurodevelopmental condition: like other neurodevelopmental/developmental conditions, this means you are born with it and it affects your brain and nervous system development.

ADHD is characteristed by inattention (variability in your ability to focus among other things, mind wandering), hyperactivity (mental and physical), and impulsivity (e.g. having trouble waiting in queue, interrupting others unintentionally). Attention "dysregulation" is a more appropriate word than deficit as people with ADHD hav e a spectrum of attention: they can pay too much attention (sometimes becomes a state of hyperfocus) or too little/ are unable to focus.

Importantly, Emotional Dysregulation is another core feature of ADHD which not many are aware of: difficulty managing your emotions. I will detail ADHD more in my post next week.

Check out the Support Plus sub-community for more details! We cover:

1. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder/ADHD (including Parents of Children with ADHD)
2. Autism Spectrum Conditions/ASCs (including Allies)
3. Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD)
4. Dermatillomania, Trichotillomania & Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB )
5. Hoarding Disorder
6. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Often people on the spectrum have trouble regulating emotions too. This is often a core feature (emotional dysregulation).

4. Neurodivergent: People with the conditions who are followers of the neurodiversity movement may consider their selves as being "neurodiverse" or "neurodivergent".

5. Neurotypical refers to people who are not neurodivergent. That's basically it: people who don't have these more unique variations in brain wiring which cause them to think and essentially, "exist" differently in the world. Difference, not disorder.

How to support: great links to @sunshinegiraffe123's and @Fristo's posts :D I hyperlinked Support Plus earlier in this post: we have lots of resources and continue to develop them.

Finally I cannot say I am an expert on neurodiversity, or on anything for that matter: I am aware of the boundaries of my listener/leadership role. However, I have lived experience with ADHD, so if you ever want to talk about it from that perspective, please feel free to PM me. Other neurodiverse leaders/members, feel free to reply to my post on this thread if you are open to doing the same: i.e. having people approach you with questions about your lived experience as a neurodivergent person.


Image credits: All credits to MissLunaRose12, the creator of this image which was [osted on Wikimedia Commons. I don't own this image.

This is the symbol of Neurodiversity! A rainbow infinity symbol laugh
1 reply
ouiCherie August 26th, 2021

@jovialButterfly6752

Difference not disorder. 🙌🏻😊
I would like to add, although Jovial may or may not agree 😁 it's not attention deficit, it's selective attention xD

1 reply
IceCream4IceCream August 26th, 2021

@ouiCherie

difficulty controlling what you pay attention to, having a hard time feeling importance, interest-based nervous system: focus on things that grab your attention :)

IceCream4IceCream February 7th, 2022

@ouiCherie

would like to add that the original term neurodiversity by Judy Singer is inclusive of both ability and disability. However, the point I think is that we're all welcome to feel ho we do individually as long as we respect the variety of experiences people have. that is not ableism.

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sunshinegiraffe123 August 26th, 2021

@jovialButterfly6752
Im more then happy to help people out if they tag me in here! We did it Jovi!

1 reply
IceCream4IceCream August 27th, 2021

@sunshinegiraffe123heart

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kindLemonade September 3rd, 2021

@jovialButterfly6752

Informative post, thanks Jovial!

1 reply
IceCream4IceCream September 3rd, 2021

@kindLemonade. heart

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theriverissinging August 26th, 2021

@ASilentObserver thank you for the post!

Scrolling below, @jovialButterfly6752 has made some interesting points and facts to be taken into consideration.

*trigger warning: racism*




I'd also like to add that Asperger's syndrome is no longer a diagnosis in the DSM-5. While the people who use the term for themselves or their diagnosis are to be respected no matter what, I'd like to mention that the term has a racist and ableist history which I think people should know about.
Here's an article about the same.

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theriverissinging August 26th, 2021

Diagnosis/assessment laugh

theriverissinging August 26th, 2021

Another thing xD (sorry!)
Everyone stims, not just autistic folks. It's just more noticeable in them. You can refer to a good post about it here!

1 reply
IceCream4IceCream August 26th, 2021

@theriverissinging

ADHD: people often fidget which can be similar/ or they might have stims.

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IceCream4IceCream August 26th, 2021
@theriverissinging

I actually had this in my original post draft (the one you've just replied to) but it seems to have been accidentally deleted. I have added it now. Thanks so much for raising this important point!
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