Shared Experiences!β‘
Hey hey, everyone coming across this post. I hope you're doing well. π
Grief and loss, is something I feel most of us have experienced in different forms, with varied intensity of emotions, thoughts and emotional reactions to it.
As earth-shatteringly difficult it is to experience loss of some kind and do not even get me started on loss of a love one hehe (oh but I definitely will come here tooπ), or cope with it, I feel something that remotely, I say remotely because I'm not much of the opinion that anything ever truly helps or fills the void in your life and the hole in your heart! (Much love to you if you feel the same and Kudos to you if you found something that helped you in any wayπ).
Again, I feel something that *remotely* helps is that we aren't alone in our experiences!
It's not like "seeing someone else in pain makes you feel better about yours", more like "seeing someone feel what you do, say what you cannot and understand what you find incomprehensible somewhere, somehow, in whatever small quantity possible too, makes you feel *seen*, makes your pain feel seen, reminds you that what you experienced is 'worthy' of a reaction from you, also helps you understand your feelings better, because sometimes you're not even sure what to really call that 'sudden feeling of a big lump forming in your throat when you're sitting around people giggling and doing their thing' when everything feels 'okay' around you".
(Apologies for getting carried away haha, I'm not proof-reading this one, and it's just something straight from my heart, hopefully to yours, typos includedπ )
Anyway, circling back again, what I find remotely helpful is the idea of shared experiences, of people connected in their grief! Which is why I love reflecting on how someone perceives loss and grief for them, hearing what they have to say about it too!
Sometimes it's these shared experiences, heart felt words and raw emotions that remind me I'm not alone, and a lot of times, this is comforting to know!
Going forward, I'd like to share some quotes I find comforting with the hope that anyone coming across them here can have a little "oh you see it too?" moment, knowing they aren't alone either and someone has had experienced something as they have and stood by to share it with the world also. The massive amount of courage it takes to talk about it, to relive all of it all over again, to be *brave* for comforting someone else! Most people may not even realise how inspiring they are! π
Please feel welcome to share any quotes you like that provide you comfort or reflect on any you see here also! π
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
@VictoriaLove7
Love this one!β
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Thank you, Sunshine! πβ€Β
Yes yes, it is a beautiful proverb β, I love it too! β€
you wrote a topic that is very thoughtful and beautiful too, Sunshine! πβ€ π€β€
Be gentle to everyone you meet, including yourself, especially yourself.π
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Hi Good Day Sunshine!Β πΒ β€οΈΒ Thank you for this amazing forum post! This deeply resonates with me as I say so many times that we should be extra kind to others as we may have no idea what it is that they are going through at the moment.Β
Your forum post reminds me of a story I once heard:Β
A man got on a bus with his two children. He sat down and his children found seats elsewhere on the bus. The children were loud, boisterous, interacting with other passengers. They were seemingly out of control, would not stay seated and being quite the nuisance to others around them.
Many passengers were becoming quite agitated with having to deal with the deplorable behavior and one woman finally spoke up. She addressed the father of the children that was paying no mind to them and simply looking off into the distance.Β
She told him that she felt he was a horrible parent. That good parenting starts at home and that clearly he had done none of this. She felt it shameful that he would allow his children to behave this way, that he was ignoring them and that clearly they were out of control with him doing nothing about it.
Once being addressed, the man came out of this daze and quickly apologized. He told the woman "I'm so sorry. We are just coming from the hospital. My wife and their mother just died and I guess none of us aren't taking things so well at the moment".Β
Please be gentle, please be kind to yourself as well as to others. One never knows what the other person is going through at the moment.Β
*high fives*Β π and *hugs*Β β€οΈ
@SparkyGizmo
Aww I'm sure it did, Sparkyyy Sparkkk, you're one of the loudest and most genuine while staying consistent at it,Β when it comes to practicing kindness and preaching kindness, it is a delight to *feel* everything you say, simply for how incredibly heart-felt it always is, reminding everyone of the supreme power of being kind to oneself and others. β€
π€*high fives and big hugs back*π€
Thank youu for sharing this heart touching story, Sparkyyy Sparkk, it's so true, we simply never know how one is truly feeling, where they are coming from or what do they have to go home to, or the most unfortunate situation, if they even have somewhere they can refer as "home" to.Β
While being kindness may not do a whole lot to help someone's situation, it matters and makes a lot of difference, as often times, people need that teeny reminder of the good in the world, of hope, of love and of kindness and sometimes our little (not even an "actively thought-out") kind act can be that lil glimmer of hope they need/ could use, at the time.Β
I feel, on the streets, every little smile too counts. Smiles are contagious, if someone doesn't have one on them, we can lend them ours. Kindness can be practiced as simply as that! π₯°
Thank you again for sharing, Sparkyyy Sparkk, you always have something of deep value to share, and your very sweet way of making me feel so *seen* always, incredibly grateful to you, all day, everyday! β€Β
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈ
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
It is beautiful, Sunshine! πβ€
Thank you for this thoughtful poem and the reminder! Remember to owlways be gentle to you too! π€β€
@VictoriaLove7
Aw thank you. You as well!β€
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
π€β€ thank you, Sunshine! πβ€
On remembrance:
"I keep the memory somewhere inside me~ where it's safe. I take it out and look at it when I need to. As if it were a photograph."Β
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
It is so beautiful, Sunshine! πβ€Β
It is so true, a memory being kept safe and it can be looked at like a photograph π₯Ίβ€π€β€
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
It is a beautiful poem, Sunshine! πβ€
Two seats πͺπͺ, one is Laughing life and the other one is aching grief.Β
Me hopes that there will be more laughing life for youu! β€Β
Also, we can sit there, you can take the laughing life seat πͺ, Sunshine πβ€ & me will take the aching grief seat πͺ, so that you will have more happiness! π€β€
"Waking up in the morning
is the hardest part about losing someone,
something about sleep convinces you that
you'll wake up with a fresh startΒ
but every morning I wake upΒ
and remember you're gone"
We'll see this through, together.π
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
It is a beautiful poem β(α΅β‘α΅πβ)β€, Sunshine! πβ€π₯Ίβ€Β
It took a long time to go through the grief,Β but together, we'll see this through π€β€
Grief does come in waves, and after many many years of grieving, I can attest that, no, it doesn't stop anywhere, nor have I ever felt the "same" ever since, a part is missing, but what does comfort me is that, the people who left with parts of me, left some parts of them with me too.
Without them being in-person with me too, there's something of theirs that belonged to them, now within me.
In a way, they are around still.Β For as long as this heart beats, this heart remembers.
For as long as this heart remembers, it loves.
For as long as this heart loves, it grieves.
For as long as this heart grieves, it remains unchanged. β€
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Sun is shining and so are you. Here is a big soft hug for you. I just read this and I know that feeling of βmissing.β Someone once told me there is a word in Portuguese that even expresses it better, itβs βSaudatΓ©,β which means a sort of feeling of longing, melancholy, desire and nostalgia for a time in the past.Β
Love and Courage, Patience
@PatienceImpatiens
Aww Pattyy the best Catty (I'm great with rhymes lol), thank youu, just in time. β€
*soft hugs back*Β π₯Ήπ€
Omigosh I've seen that in some post and yesss, it describes "that" emotion/ state of mind perfectly.Β π₯Ή
Thank you for sharing that, for the soft hug, beautiful pictures and for being you, Pat!π₯°
Love!π€
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou my sons 13th birthday in 7 days, I'm the 30th β€ he's a angel in heaven now. Grieving is so hard. Struggling a lot right now
@Tinywhisper11
Lolabeaaniee π₯Ί *holds you in tight comfy hugs* β€Β
It's okie to struggle with grief, you know?Β
They say, grief is nothing but love, love without any address to deliver at. I sort of do believe in this. But I've more to add to this. So bear with me. β€
You love your angel sooooooo much, where there's a looot of love, there's a loooot of grief.Β
So it's vv natural to find it overwhelming, specially during the anniversary days, the days, we are reminded of not just the people we lost, but of the circumstances, the life we lived then. Vv valid to find it extra hard trying to be strong and okay during such times.Β
But guess what? We don't have to be okay or strong always.
We can sometimes just *be*, and nope, no one gets to question it for us.Β
You do what you can to simply just *be* in this moment, and remember that's super enough. I see you, I love you and I'm with you. (I almost said "in spirit" but that sounded kinda spooky and Halloween's still away so I'll save it till thenπ») β€
Coming back to "love with no address", there's an address, Lolabeaaniee, it's within your heart, it's in every little thing that reminds you of your Angel, the tree beneath which you sit and talk with him, the teddy you have, the journals you mention him in, the artwork you create, the kindness you spread around. So many ways and "places" to deliver your love-at. It goes out in the Universe, and the Universe sends it back to you too.β€
Will keep you in my thoughts, and remember I'm only a message/ tag away, for whenever you need to talk, hide, hug or share some silence with.β€ *keeps hugging*Β
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou thanks sunny boo β€ I'm handling it a bit better this year, I haven't spiralled into deep depression. But right now I want company from friends here, but I don't know what to say to people. I need space, but don't want to be alone. I want to hide, I want to cry, I want my son backππ
@Tinywhisper11
Aw you don't need to ask, say or tell anything you don't want to, Lolabeaan.β€
I get that, needing some space while also wanting some company. And hey, we can do that. Sit together, share hugs or gifs or even emojis or nothing at all, words aren't always needed.Β
I'm vv proud of you for trying your best to hold it all together, and recognizing that you're doing better this year.Β One moment at a time, okiee.β€
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou yes one moment at a time β€β€ everything will be ok in the end πβ€ but right now I think I'm gonna just go and cry for a bit, I like being alone when I cry
hugs sunny boo β€I love you
@Tinywhisper11
(((((((((Huggs cutie Lola Bean)))))))))
@PatienceImpatiens thanks pat β€β€β€ hugs you tightly β€ that picture is so beautiful
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
It is so poetic ΰ§β€βπ & beautifully written, Sunshine! πβ€π₯Ίβ€
This is my favorite part Β (β©ΛΆα΅ α΅ α΅ΛΆ β©)π
For as long as this heart beats, this heart remembers.
For as long as this heart remembers, it loves.
For as long as this heart loves, it grieves.
For as long as this heart grieves, it remains unchanged. β€
(*Β΄β‘`*)κ€π
@VictoriaLove7
Mine as well.π
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
π€π
"Missing someone is sadness wrapped in the blessing of having known them." - "How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."Β
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
It is so true, Sunshine πβ€π₯Ίβ€ missing someone is a bittersweet thing α¦(Β΄Ν α΅ `Ν α¦)π
Thank you for this reminder of the blessing of knowing someone though they are no longer with us π₯Ίβ€π€β€
& the quote Β βΚΒ΄α΄α΄₯α΄`Κβ βhow lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.β
