Shared Experiences!♡
Hey hey, everyone coming across this post. I hope you're doing well. 💛
Grief and loss, is something I feel most of us have experienced in different forms, with varied intensity of emotions, thoughts and emotional reactions to it.
As earth-shatteringly difficult it is to experience loss of some kind and do not even get me started on loss of a love one hehe (oh but I definitely will come here too💛), or cope with it, I feel something that remotely, I say remotely because I'm not much of the opinion that anything ever truly helps or fills the void in your life and the hole in your heart! (Much love to you if you feel the same and Kudos to you if you found something that helped you in any way💛).
Again, I feel something that *remotely* helps is that we aren't alone in our experiences!
It's not like "seeing someone else in pain makes you feel better about yours", more like "seeing someone feel what you do, say what you cannot and understand what you find incomprehensible somewhere, somehow, in whatever small quantity possible too, makes you feel *seen*, makes your pain feel seen, reminds you that what you experienced is 'worthy' of a reaction from you, also helps you understand your feelings better, because sometimes you're not even sure what to really call that 'sudden feeling of a big lump forming in your throat when you're sitting around people giggling and doing their thing' when everything feels 'okay' around you".
(Apologies for getting carried away haha, I'm not proof-reading this one, and it's just something straight from my heart, hopefully to yours, typos included😅)
Anyway, circling back again, what I find remotely helpful is the idea of shared experiences, of people connected in their grief! Which is why I love reflecting on how someone perceives loss and grief for them, hearing what they have to say about it too!
Sometimes it's these shared experiences, heart felt words and raw emotions that remind me I'm not alone, and a lot of times, this is comforting to know!
Going forward, I'd like to share some quotes I find comforting with the hope that anyone coming across them here can have a little "oh you see it too?" moment, knowing they aren't alone either and someone has had experienced something as they have and stood by to share it with the world also. The massive amount of courage it takes to talk about it, to relive all of it all over again, to be *brave* for comforting someone else! Most people may not even realise how inspiring they are! 💛
Please feel welcome to share any quotes you like that provide you comfort or reflect on any you see here also! 💛
I'd like to acknowledge that everyone's way of dealing with loss and coping with grief can be different, what works for one person may not for you and that's super okay! Whatever little bit helps, we can continue trying for it, every small step matters, you may not feel okay or want to feel okay, and you're allowed to take your time while remembering that you *deserve* to feel better. Whenever you're ready for it. Your pace is good pace always. No one else gets to decide it for you!💛
“Deep grief sometimes is almost like a specific location, a coordinate on a map of time. When you are standing in that forest of sorrow, you cannot imagine that you could ever find your way to a better place. But if someone can assure you that they themselves have stood in that same place, and now have moved on, sometimes this will bring hope” ~ Elizabeth Gilbert
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou beautiful post and you're even more so.
Small things such as this have saved me: how much I love my mother — even after all these years. How powerfully I carry her within me. My grief is tremendous but my love is bigger. So is yours.
— Cheryl Strayed
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Hi Good Day Sunshine! 😊 ❤️ Thank you for your amazing forum post! One quote in regard to grief that highly resonates with me is....
"Grief is love with nowhere to go" - Jamie Anderson
Thank you for being so very vulnerable here with us my sweet Spidey Twin! ❤️ I see being vulnerable with others as a sign of strength and never weakness. We all hurt and thank you for letting us know that it's okay to share our feelings. ❤️
I loved reading your thoughts in relation to grief and how there can be opportunities to let us feel as if we aren't alone. Oddly enough, it's only one of the reasons why I enjoy music so very much.
Sometimes hearing the lyrics of a song can let me know that I am not alone, that someone out there felt the very same way at some point in time and to the degree to write down their thoughts and feelings and set it to music. Those can be powerful moments for me and I see it as even a part of self care.
*high fives* 😊 and *hugs* ❤️
@SparkyGizmo
Aww you always find me Sparkyyy Sparkkk, and you come bearing the warmest hugs always! (The actual "🤗" being the warmest fosho, but I mean "hugs" here metaphorically also, Sparkyyy Sparkkk *you* feel like a warm hug to me, your words feel like the warmest hug to me and you come bearing them always, never failing at it and I truly am super grateful to you, my wonderful spidey twin❤)
You are so right, my dear friend, Vulnerability is strength, I so deeply admire people who can be vulnerable!
Vulnerability isn't my strongest suit hehe, just the little thoughts around "but someone else might feel as you do too and something in what you say might bring them a little comfort so suck it up and do your best lol" encourage me to try a little, each time! Then there's all you amazing people here, reaffirming my whys and continuing to encourage me to keep trying and I cannot thank you enough for it! 🥺 ❤
"Sometimes hearing the lyrics of a song can let me know that I am not alone, that someone out there felt the very same way at some point in time and to the degree to write down their thoughts and feelings and set it to music."~ Thissss! I meant this exactly, word to word as you said it Omigoshhh! Wow, you know to how to put things into better words always hehe, thankyouu for comprehending what I said/ what I couldn't say but you still got it. *cries* Yes, this right here is a "oh you see it too? And You see me" moment for me and it always is one with you!
(Using a lot of "always" here lol, but that's on you, again, since you are *consistency*- at its peak *always*❤)
I love the quote you shared, it's one of my all-time favorite definitions of "grief". I added some more to it, about how I feel, in a reply to this post:
https://www.7cups.com/forum/grief/ResourcesforGriefProcessingEmotions_2537/WillMyGriefEverEnd_297553/?post=3199361 if you'd like to check out also! ❤
Music, as you mentioned, too is exactly like it, sooo relatable, Sparkyyy Sparkk, knowing someone else felt what we did, is indeed all kinds of comforting! Some people have a lovely way with their words and how they create art with their emotions, this art helps so many find compassion, solace and comfort in them! Its impeccable and uncanny~ the power of connecting with someone emotionally! We may not know this person, never meet them or anything, yet they comfort us and become our safe place to turn to when we need a little "pick-me-up".
Bless all hoomans unknowingly too healing and helping so many! ❤
Hehe incredibly grateful for you the bestest Spidey Twinnn! *hugs backkk* 🤗
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
big big *hugs* ❤️ my sweet Spidey twin! Sure is amazing how my quote is essentially what it is that you said in the other thread, like spot on! Wow! 😳 We are so very like minded.
So very grateful for you! ❤️❤️❤️
Music is life to me. It literally will change my moods in an instant. Songs I used to love, I can't tolerate anymore. Other songs make me instantly happy. Others make me think of a lost loved one or something that was important to me like a time or event, and it's like reliving it. Music is a beautiful thing.
If music is big in your life, watch for this. I didn't even realize it until this week. Rock on. 😊
Hi, everyone
How are you guys doing? First of all, I would love to say that I like this post that you created @sunisshiningandsoareyou. I am going to talk about two different experiences I had so please bear with me. The first experience is old but still with me every day and the second experience is fairly new.
On 5/13/2010 I lost my grandpa and I remember that day like it was yesterday. My grandma and grandpa were going out to dinner so I didn't go visit them that day however, my grandma called me and I knew something was up she was panicked and wanted my mom. When my mom went to my grandparents' house they rushed my grandpa to the hospital and I made my grandpa a get-well card and gave it to my dad when he came home from work to say he was going to the hospital to see my mom, grandma and grandpa and my other grandparents were coming to watch my sister, brother and I. Long story short I knew my grandpa was gone even before I was told that he passed. My grandpa was the first close person I lost and that put me in a depression for a bit.
On 1/21/20 I lost my younger brother in a car accident he was 17 years old. That passing has changed me and not for the best. I am so depressed and I remember everything from that night. I am the oldest of siblings and my sister and brother are /were twins. My sister is still alive though. The world doesn't prepare you to lose someone so young. I miss my grandpa and brother so much. I can talk about that night like it was yesterday and nothing is a blur to me. It is consistently on my mind.
@blissfulTouch29
Hiya Kaitlyn, it's so good to see you and ofcourse you're allowed to share also!
I feel you, so much of what you shared is relatable and I understand how somethings, moments, experiences; no matter how old stay fresh in our mind, and the pain is felt all over again, like we are reliving the situation! *offers hugs*
Our love ones are with us, in our heart and on our mind always, so its really valid to think of them often! I'd like to share this post with you too: https://www.7cups.com/forum/grief/ResourcesforGriefProcessingEmotions_2537/WillMyGriefEverEnd_297553/
Super valid to feel like you and your life changed a lot post your loss, it does happen, a part of us is lost with the one we've lost and therefore incredibly natural to feel disconnected and lost, finding it difficult relating with your past self again!
I'm so proud of you for sharing about your experience with loss and how its affected you, you're so strong for continuing to push forward the best way you can. Sending lots of love and strength to you and more love to your beautiful angels looking over you! 💛
Thankyou for your kind words also! Do you have any favorite quotes or perhaps music that you find helps you feel better when the grief rushes your way? Feel welcome to share anytime!
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Thank you! I loss of my brother is what changed me more and its more than what I wrote about. I have a lot of quotes but some of them are a little dark I think.
Thank you again
@blissfulTouch29 No worries, you're allowed to express yourself in a way that works for you and ofcourse!
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou I have to figure out how to share my quotes
"When you experience loss, people say you’ll move through the 5 stages of grief….
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance
….. What they don’t tell you is that you’ll cycle through them all every day."
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Such a beautifully written post sun💕
I remember someone telling me that the pain of losing someone never goes.
At first, you won't be able to breathe at all but later on You would be able to breathe a bit more because you get used to the very same grief that surrounds you. 'Getting used to' is what happens. I'm pretty sure the person who passed would equally want us to live a safe and happy life. The pain would never leave. You just grow with it and understand it better.
Knowing that, i really hope we all cope with the grief that surrounds us and live a healthy life because that's what they would want ❤️
