Grief & Loss Question of the Week
Well. It’s Sunday and we are heading into another new week. That means it’s time for Question of the Week.
What types of things help when you are grieving? (Hobbies, people, things, etc….)
@Kristynsmama
Journaling, helps me to share my thoughts and feelings. Just nice having that little comfy space sometimes!💛
How about you, Kristyn?
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
journaling and listening to music. I also enjoy playing with my dogs and riding my horses.
@Kristynsmama aw sounds purrfecttt in the company of beautiful beings!
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou gives sunny boo a giant festive tiny hug ❤❤❤
@Tinywhisper11 aww🥺❤ *giant festive hugs backkk Lolaabeaannn*🤗❤
@Kristynsmama what helps me is talking to God ❤ and friends here at cups ❤ and bunny cuddles ❤
@Kristynsmama keeping myself busy, work, painting. Horseriding is pretty therapeutic.
Sometimes it helps just to go cry my eyes out and then continue living again 😅🙏
For me it's keeping busy however I can. I try to get invested in my work day, play videogames in between. I'm the evenings I like cuddling on the couch with my wife and watching TV.
@Kristynsmama spending time with my friends, even when i don't want to socialise because i'm really sad i force myself to meet them and i end up feeling a little bit better, at least i get distracted
@Kristynsmama for me, its playing music, listening to music, talking to friends and just keeping busy and diststracted that helps
A week before Xmas 2023 I had to help my recovery buddy of 9 years (a senior dog I rescued from the humane society) cross the rainbow bridge. I hadn't realized how much I leaned on her for comfort and company when riding the roller coaster of emotional dysregulation. So now not only am I grieving but also have to heavily rely on the tools I learned after a year of CBT which has been a challenge at times. Going immediately into the holidays with family arriving, activities to do, people to entertain, my moms car breaking down and relying on me for rides I felt at times people wanted me to rush through the grief process or that I shouldn't be feeling this loss so deeply. Xmas day I totally shut down and stayed in bed all day as it was all too much and I needed my space to feel the feels, recharge, wipe my tears away, lift myself outta the dirt and get moving again. Those people are not me, nor do they have a diagnosis, and I had to remember that being emotional around others can make them feel uncomfortable, so I did my best to have compassion for them as well.
Coping: I cry when the wave hits. In a safe place of course. Remembering she may not exist in this world anymore but she resides in my heart and I can still lean on memories of her ie..there have been times I can envision her dancing around my legs happily, or if I'm down and struggling to do my dailies, I can feel her nudge my hand like she used too, her way of saying "C'mon man you need to get up and move, get active, let's walk" and I get up and do it. I've also been open, honest, and direct with my mental health care team and check in when I'm feeling unsafe(PTSD). Most importantly I've stuck to my routine, sleep, healthy eating, exercise, even if I'm not feeling like pushing through it while also allowing a time during the day to check in with myself and self care. My family and I also share funny stories of her dog antics which typically turns tears into laughter and smiles. Lastly, I'm working on a painting of her surrounded by the things she brought into our lives.
I'm so sorry I to am grieving the lost of my baby Herman he was killed on Thanksgiving at least your fur baby knew they was loved..
@Kristynsmama
Hugs, the listening ears and support of friends/fam, looking at photos.
You asked for it...
Journaling, reflecting, talking it out in safe environments with the right people, music, movies or tv, taking photos, helping others, receiving help, lighting candles, eating delicious food, going to the gym, surrounding myself with beautiful things, taking breaks, skincare, affirmations, long showers, allowing a mess, succumbing to cabin fever, chocolate...hot chocolate, chocolate bars, boxes chocolates...
Also buying myself flowers, cleaning up and enjoying the neat and tidy space, yelling it all out, writing a rant, music, considering where I'm at and adjusting expectations, standing up for myself, spending time being small and hopeless and curled up into myself physically, mentally and spiritually...
Furthermore, laying in the sun, hydrating, dressing in clothes that make me feel good and like myself, maybe a bit of makeup. Making a vision or inspiration board, reading, YouTube, gaming, going out, taking calculated risk, forgiving myself and others, meditation, trying something new, hiking, boarding, bicycling, eating a serving of fruit and veggies.
There's more but at this point I'm needing to do one of those things so toodles.
@communicativePond1728. I love all of these suggestions and ideas!
@Kristynsmama it's just some things I've done or do to try help myself through dark times or to prevent them from hitting as hard when they do. Not suggesting anyone else do it. Not doing anything but answering the question.