Does the Past Matter?
My best friend just died.
He was 41.
His funeral just happened - and then everyone left.
Yes, your past shapes you. Yes, right now is a state of mind and yet it has been determined by past events.
But does it matter?
Does the question matter?
Deepest condolences on your loss 🙏 @SweetSwaggerLee
I'm really sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. Losing someone close to us can be incredibly difficult and can evoke a range of emotions. It's normal to question and reflect on matters that may arise during such challenging times.
Whether or not the question of past events matter is subjective and depends on individual perspectives. Some people may find solace or understanding by reflecting on the impact of past events and how they shape our present circumstances. It can help in grieving and finding meaning in what has happened.
On the other hand, some individuals may choose to focus more on the present moment and prioritize their current state of mind and emotional well-being. They might believe that dwelling too much on the past can hinder personal growth or healing.
Ultimately, it's up to you to determine what matters to you personally and what brings you comfort or understanding during this difficult time. Grief is a complex process, and everyone copes with it differently.
Thank you for responding so thoughtfully 🥹
I guess the past has always mattered to me. I don't agree with John Locke's Identity Through Memory theory; our brains aren't reliable.
Body theory doesn't help either because our bodies are never the same.
I used to find solace in the concept of 'no self' - we're all a collection of stuff.
But what if you go adventuring, collecting a sack full of gold and jewels and gems only to find out that the contents were useless?
Does the journey teach you to place value in the years of misguided exploration?
How do I place value on a life that's gone and useless?
It feels like decorating a dead Christmas tree 😞
The life is neither gone or useless. That individuals life has meaning and that meaning is carried forward in different ways by those who knew the deceased. The meanings are as individual as those who carry them. Each person who knew the deceased will have a unique set of memories and will have learned different facts and lessons from theor engagements with them.
Some will habe learned positive things others will have learned lessons by a few negative example perhaps. Either way there is meaning in the live lived even if seemingly too short.
I recently lost a very close friend. Knowing him was a joy and an honor. I am forever changed for the better. And yet at the same time I know I knew this man after many decades if life had worn some sharp edges down. The meaning carried forward by his family who knew the somewhat less polished version is different from the meaning of my experience knowing him.
I honestly believe we are the some total of all we have experienced , especially with regard to our human relationships therefore each relationship has impact on our very humanity. We in turn impact others. This is all paid forward so no life is without its impact and meaning.
@SweetSwaggerLee I'm so sorry for your loss. Maybe you could do something special to honor his memory and the friendship you had ❤️
@mytwistedsoul what best Soul said 🤗🤗❤❤
@Optimisticempath OptiBear! 😊❤️
@SweetSwaggerLee
I'm truly sorry for your loss. You must be grappling with a range of emotions right now. Questions about the significance of past events and the impact they have on the present and future are complex and deeply personal. For some, understanding the connection between the past and the present can provide a sense of meaning and context. It can help us make sense of our experiences and guide our actions moving forward. However, in times of grief and loss, it's natural to question the meaning and purpose of life itself. The pain and emptiness that come with the loss of a loved one can make it difficult to find meaning or make sense of the world. It's important to acknowledge and honor your feelings, whatever they may be, as you navigate through this difficult time. Grief is a unique and individual journey, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. It's essential to allow yourself to process your emotions in your own time and in your own way. Eventually, you may find ways to honor your friend's memory and find meaning in your own life moving forward.