Reasons Not to Give Up!! List Yours
(Heads up that this could be a bit of a heavy topic, but it’s a positive one, so please do read on!)
Let’s be real - life’s hard! One second you’ll be coasting, and then suddenly you’re dropping through a trap door you didn’t even know was there. Circumstances come up beyond our control and sometimes you just feel hopeless.
A lovely member here asked me for a list of my reasons to keep going when things get really hard and you just wanna give up, so here’s what soothes, motivates, and inspires me:
- Remembering where I’ve been. I reflect on the things I have survived. I’ve reminded myself, “you’ve been through worse. You have. And you are here. You can do this, too.”
- The things I haven’t done yet. What do I still wish to do? To see? To learn? My story isn’t over, and I know there are still things out there, somewhere, that is worth waiting for.
- My purpose. We all have one. You do too. You may not have found it yet, but it’s on your path. Just keep walking. And if it helps you feel any better about the wait, I didn’t trip over mine until I hit my 30s.
And the fun stuff!
- My bird - I have to be here for him, after all, and my pets have always grounded me when I felt like I could just let everything else go. If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for your pet!
- Food! Comfort food! The joy of trying new food!
- Your favorite show! You’ve got to be here to see if it gets a reboot, of if your favorite movie gets a sequel.
- The smell of freshly cut grass
- Cozy nights sleeping to the sound of rain
- Staycations
- Rainbows
- Crisp weather, turning leaves, big sweaters, and warm drinks
- Stargazing, beach days, and sitting by the fire
- Finding people with who you can share life’s journey with
- Random acts of kindness
- …and so much more
I’ve seen countless ups and downs in my own life, and every challenge and every pitfall has ultimately shaped me into who I am today. If you’re reading this in the midst of a struggle of your own, please have heart and know that you couldn’t be in a better place than here on 7 Cups. You’re never alone.
What’s your list look like? If you don’t have one, why not start by thinking up one thing that makes you want to keep trying and share it here in the replies.
Tag! @Mack
@Heather225
Thank you for making this post, I appreciate it a lot ❤️
Thank you for sharing this Mack!! It’s a beautiful list!💜
@Heather225
I have lost hope for myself.
I live to honor my obligations to my wife and dog.
@Gettingbettertoday
Dog
It is a mirror of God.
Who else can have perfect and unconditional Love
@Gettingbettertoday
I hope I honeymoon phase out at some point, maybe. dunno.
@Heather225
So so true H. Life can be tough and unpredictable, but it's important to remember that there's always something worth holding on for. <3
My list:
-The chance to explore and discover new things
-The power of laughter and humor to lighten our hearts
-Also, a big fan of rain and stargazing!
-Comfort soup on rainy days!
-Road trips & gas station runs to buy loads of junk food!
-Cuddles with my dogs
-Getting lost in a good book
-Picnics & camping
I could go on and on💜
I really like this, but I also think sometimes giving up can be really positive, even if there is sadness, loss and grief connected to it.
All too often here I see NEVER GIVE UP! and I think that can be unsupportive and hurtful to people who are working through some really tough decisions.
Circumstances change, priorities change. I don't support just throwing in the towel on things with every little difficulty, every setback. There are times though when giving up on something is actually the more difficult decision but is the healthier one, or the one that's the best overall.
Giving up doesn't need to be all or nothing, there can be some aspects we give up on. Maybe some will rephrase this as shifting or as changing, but those who really do feel like they are giving up on something, pushing to say it's not giving up isn't always helpful.
@AffyAvo Actually, I really like that you said this, and I believe I read your other thread but then I was on a handheld and the forums are messed up for me on the handheld, so I couldn't comment.
@VioletVeritas Thanks for reading that long post and for understanding! I hope the posting issues are resolved soon!
@AffyAvo Yes, I do too, because now I looked for your longer post so I could comment and I can't find it anywhere. Sigh. Do you mind if I comment here? Or could you point me to that other post? It was great and full of thoughts, and I had some thoughts to encourage you in your direction of, I think maybe one word might be "acceptance?" And, you're a human, so I do really care to follow up.
@AffyAvo Hi, Affy, I found your post and typed out a long reply but the site won't let me post. I have to figure out what it is and change it. Sigh. So difficult to communicate these days!
@VioletVeritas Sounds like the censor probably? It doesn't like many of the deathphrases.
absolutely agreed Affy. i think it would be a really insightful and no doubt relieving topic to explore if someone would like to take the lead on opening a discussion around it.
@Heather225 I will probably make a post in Grief and Loss in General Support related to this over the next few days. I know Letting Go has also been a topic discussed here which looks the the positive aspect of that. The letting go aspect is not my strength!
@AffyAvo Would it be ok, if I did a post on why you should not give up? So that people can have more then one view of the subject.
@calmMango9611 Sure! Isn't this what this thread is? You can do another with a different perspective on it if you like though!
@AffyAvo I see it from a different angle than you. I mean when I say do not give up, I am not being unsupportive. What I am saying, is life is worth living. Yes there maybe challenges, but you can over come them, if you work hard.
@Heather225 Here's my post on it. Warning that it is heavy stuff (the thread itself has the appropriate warnings too)
https://www.7cups.com/forum/GeneralSupport_28/TheGriefLossForum_50/GivingUpItcanbeokCWdeath_300729/
@AffyAvo I do not feel that way affy. I disagree. But that is ok. We can agree to disagree.
@calmMango9611 Maybe it's the framing you disagree with how I am using giving up? If so, that's definitely ok.
When supporting others though, if they feel like they are giving up on something I think at least to begin with it's ok to meet them where they are at.
There are things quite a ways far back now in my past that I still frame it as I gave up on them, and it's overall positive even if it still makes me a bit sad, and I'm ok with that. Not everyone would be ok still phrasing things that way and that's ok.
@AffyAvo I agree with what you're saying. You're a very wise person. I have learned a lot from you, over the years here at 7cups. I value our 7cups friendship. I liked the way you worded this response back to me. Now I am in agreement with what you're saying. Thank you for opening my mind up even more. Hope you have a great evening/day.night, whatever time of day it is. I hope the weather is decent for you. We have some snow coming our way. This winter we have had a little bit of everything, from rain, to snow, to wind and a few ice storms.
@calmMango9611 I appreciate you too! Spring coming soon is another reason to keep going for now, this winter has been too cold too long, although there has been some pretty snow days that come with it! Hope neither of us need to wait long for some nice weather!
@AffyAvo
As the person with the idea for this the one who asked for a list, it was not intended as a “never give up on a single thing ever”. I cannot say “give me a list of reasons to not unalive myself please.” but that was the whole meaning behind me using the phrase “give up”. There will always be several ways to interpret something, which I understand and I do agree with what you’ve said. But I think the meaning behind the phrase “give up” was misinterpreted here.
@Mack Thanks for explaining! Mortality comes in many ways, when I get to the grief and loss post (likely not today) that may make more sense.
I do agree having a list such of this is useful, hopefully I haven't taken away from it too much. Will contribute to some of mine now 😊
@Heather225 Thank you for sharing. I have a learning disability and do not drive. When, I was a teen, I suffered from depression. It was bad. This was in 1991,(so no world wide web or 7cups) I was in the Psyc Ward for about 8 weeks. I was ready to just give up on everything, but I did not. I fought to get better. I did not let mental illness defeat me. I fought back, and won the battle. I am alive and well. I have coping skills, that help me through. Do I still suffer from depression as an adult, yes. But I have coping skills. Mental illness is a life long battle. I use to bottle my feelings up. Which I learned, was not a wise choice, but at the time, I was sick. I had a hard time opening up. But now, I communicate what is on my mind, and what is bothering me. I was in 9th grade. I was in Spec Ed, at that time. So I had a team already in place. They just added to it. When I got out, I was put in contact, with clinical psychology, a mental health dr, clinical social worker. My school district, add the school social worker, to my team. They all give me some great coping skills. One, was list 5 positive things, you like about your self, that helped me a lot. It helped me to focus more on my good things, that I could do, rather on the things I could not do. My learning disability makes it hard for me to drive. Math, well, that is my weak area. I can read, but I have some issues, with understanding, what I read sometimes. Sometimes, I have memory issues. Sometimes, but not always, I have some issues with understanding, what people are asking of me. I love being here at 7cups. Why? Because I love to give back to others. I love supporting others. I find that very helpful for me. As you already know, I was a listener here at 7cups, from Dec 1, 2019-Sept of 2022. I was also a listener-leader as well. I am now a leader on the member side of things. I am loving it. I am a very hard worker. I try my best. I do not give up. Please do not give up. If you need support, please, please by all means come to our support rooms here at 7cups. Here is the link: 7cups.com/connect/Chatrooms.php Or if the chatrooms, are not your thing, that is fine. We have trained listeners standing by to take your chat, day or night 24/7. Or you can find a listener at https://www.7cups.com/Browse Listeners/
Experiencing new things
Learning new things
Watching some of my favourite children in my life grow up
The quality time of good deep conversations with my husband
The silly lighthearted teasing with my husband
Time spent with friends and family
The joy from seeing a new seedling pop up
Sharing my wisdom with others
You
This too should pass
Don’t make a permanent decision off of an temporary emotion.
Love
@Heather225
Reasons not to give up -
-My sister, mother .. one who love me will be hurt.
-Note to self, it will not last. It is just a feeling.
-My dogs will miss me and will not understand why I stop feeding them.
Lastly - Because we are all a bad b*tch and we have conquered too much in this life to give up! Find the inner strength. I love myself and you all!
We will get through this so called 'life'.
- Uncle Bob's BBQ Sauce! It's good on anything!...
...I heard that in a radio commercial decades ago. I never bought the sauce so I dunno how it tastes. Figure if you're looking for a reason to keep going, that's as good as any....
But seriously, when things get near-unendurable I go with two items from OP's list: memories of what I've been through, & things I have yet to do. Can't draw/paint any pictures or build anything if I die early.
The opportunity and the possibility to find and experience a greater level of inner peace and bliss -is what makes me feel alive and inspired!
