Milestones or Steps Completed! Share and Celebrate Here :)

Feelings arn't facts.

I've been feeling like something terrible is going to happen any moment most my life. Almost like there is a part of my world on fire and burning up and I just don't know where or how to stop it.... But it's just my anxiety. The more I pay attention to it... the more the fire grows.... the more energy I feed it, the stronger it gets. It's just weird sometimes to suddenly realize my part in it --

I first feel anxious and then I try to find a reason for me to be anxious to rationalize so I don't feel crazy....once the story adds in - it only creates an endless loop in my body...

- Anxiety---> story -----> more anxiety----> story ---->ad infinum

Indeed my childhood, set up my "norm" body chemistry, which is basically constant anxiety intermixed with panic attacks - but the stories arn't helping me during a panic attack. They are more suitable to be revisted during therapy sessions if needed, so I've learned it's best for me to have boundaries if possible and try to visit stories in a safe contained place. When and if I can have boundaries with my ptsd, that will be awesome (still working and keeping the faith on that!)

Today my mantra is: Anxiety is an old pattern, old programming, coding in my body I can rewrite... with patience, self-love and time.

I lerant to never give up, no matter how much you want to

I just cant seem to catch a break... so far I have been staying strong but I'm getting weary

I learned that I decide which thought I follow or not

Learned to let the buried emotions come when they need to.

@GlenM

to learn that someone is there for me even when i think i am very alone

@GlenM

to realize that i'm not as alone as i think i am and there are ways to calm yourself even if you feel far from it

I realized that I use mindfullness I just never knew what it was. I also thought they sensations from having a cyst in spinal cord is not a special connection to the universe like i orginally thought. I really need to continue working on insecurities and trust towards Jason. I feel like I have a clearer mind which is excatly what I needed.

Life itself is reason to celebrate.

Step 240. Not clear I've learned much of anything. Maybe that I really don't know how to make good use of my time in therapy. It didn't appear to be doing much of anything.