Discussion 02: Building a Group

Challenges that I have faced while in the chat rooms and what i have learned

One of the biggest challenges that I have faced personally in the chat rooms is moving on from mistakes. Since I am newer at being a leader, hosting, and supporting, I sometimes make mistakes just like every human. I have found that I want to over apologize because I feel bad and my mistakes are accidental and I want them to know it was just an honest mistake. However, by having an apology written out that’s more than a sentence or two I find makes people uncomfortable.

I know that learning from mistakes is important but those learning conversations can happen in pms. As when a long dissuasion about a comment that came across wrong really disrupts the flow of the conversation. I have learned that I am not perfect and will make mistakes and it should be handled appropriately and it is better to quickly admit the mistake and move on. It’s best if a longer conversation about what was said can be taken to pms so that it can be worked and each side can be heard without disrupting the current conversation that is being held in the room. By doing this everyone feels heard and valid while other members in the room also continue to feel comfortable and engaging in the current discussion.

I often find that the misunderstandings sometimes stem from misreading the room. Since this is a support community, people come here on their highest highs, lowest lows, and everything in between. Sometimes they will be looking for support and others a distraction or what for a lighter chat. Thus tcr vs sc but still one day u can make a comment or joke that will be fine and the next day that is triggering or makes them upset. As well as everyone has their unique triggers, beliefs, opinions, and all have a way that they would like to be addressed and treated so that each person's needs are met and supported. Being able to read the vibe and tone of the room is something that is hard. Group chats really are one big group chat and like with texting, a statement can mean and be perceived in a multitude of ways.

I think that using tone indicators would be helpful for this. I remembered the first I saw as a tone indicator in a room. I looked them up and thought they were cool but I did understand their need nor did I have my most sympathetic hat on. This was because I did not know them. When I referenced the page, it was good but when I tried to learn them, I was quickly overwhelmed cuz there were so many. Now that I have spent time in the rooms I have become familiar with the basics and am now l more comfortable with them as well as emojis to express tone in a message. I think that if we had everyone just learn like three or five of them would be very helpful. I can see how everyone knowing these tone indicators could be beneficial and useful when reading the tone of the room as well as individual comments. And this would reduce the number of miss understandings resulting in a tighter community that feels like their voices are being heard correctly rather than something wrong, offensive, or that a comment made was misunderstood.

@ASilentObserver
Hello ^^
A challenge I faced in the group:
Low participation or disinterest in participating in pop up rooms or guided discussions.

What I learned:
Members are primarily here to speak, to communicate and to talk about their issues, life or anything lighthearted. Guided discussions at times could be too constricting to their self expression, feel too preach full or uninteresting.
I learned that giving people a space to speak is essential, to make people feel better, enabling them, their confidence and their outlook towards their issues or struggles is what empowers them.
Guided discussions could sacrifice on some questions for the benefit of members getting to speak out to their hearts content, keeping the discussions more free flowing rather than boxing it into fixed time slots for each question is also much better or simply not having guided discussions but open chats and prompts, could be a sufficient tool in making people more interested in participating, fostering a community and a sense of commitment in the participants. As freely speaking is more intimate than answering questions at times.

Share a challenge experienced while building a group in the chatrooms? What did you learn?

It feels hard to feel connected with the progress of the room and steer it to a more positive direction. I feel demotivated and disconnected as I lurk the activity in a member room (especially), most of the times. To improve this, I will look to take special notes of any positive strength(s) reflected in any of the messages and make sure to send in a small note of appreciation whenever I notice a thing good.

Here is a growth path to help you smile https://www.7cups.com/path/playlist/smile/

@ASilentObserver

Share a challenge experienced while building a group in the chatrooms? What did you learn?
very often, people dont join in rooms and it is quiet, but i learnt that by asking to send a notification around and kindly asking for people to join the session/discussion in other rooms can help bring people in and for them to participate too!

A challenge that I faced was trying to keep everyone on the same page in a group chat. Many times the conversation changed and there were interruptions but I learned how to kindly ask people to stay on topic and how to still navigate and have patience.

@ASilentObserver

Challenge : The topic specific rooms are mostly empty. Most of the members just use the Newbie rooms, as they are kind of "One for all purpose" Rooms. The newbie hub has been too generalized, Asking myself, if i was a member i would probably tell myself "Hey, why go to those rooms when everyone is here and we are free to discuss anything".

Possible solutions: The other support rooms will never fill up unless the newbie hub is restricted to specific topics. This is hard to implement but might be the most effective solution, Other measures would include engaging the room supporters and moderators to focus more on their team rooms and more exposure via forums and promotions, Still, the newbie hub will continue to remain the most crowded spot, wether you have the wise one badge or the newbie badge, unless members are forced to use other rooms.

@ASilentObserver

I find some rooms get a bit repetitive where people participating say "Hi", once everyone who is around has said hi they then say "how are you?" This is alright but then no one knows what to say. I learnt to try to ask ice breaker questions to keep the chatrooms more active. I also try to stop people from feeling left out by giving lurkers cookies or trying to ask them a specific question to get them more involved.

@ASilentObserver

Challenge: Often times there is a struggle in the sharing circle because sometimes those entering what to talk right away but it isn't necessarily their turn. It then leads to frustration from the person interupted while talking and then also by the interupter as they just want help.

Learned: These situations can be stressful but it has taught me to be very patient and look at the situation from all views. For the person sharing, when they are interupted this probably makes them upset because instead of being supported and heard people have to stop and let the interupter know they need to wait their turn. On the other sides of things the interupter may be having the worst day ever and is desparate to talk to someone. Over time if I am listening to members in the Sharing Circle and this situation occurs I PM the interupter and offer to talk to them 1-on-1 if they need to. I've found that when they do answer my offer back they truly are needing to talk to someone. So, while it is a challenge and stressful at times it is important to take the time and understand why everyone is feeling the way they are.

@ASilentObserver

CHALLENGE: Sometimes when people join a chatroom, it says there are people participating, but some of the people are busy on other fronts, such as listening to people in a 1-on-one chat, thus giving a false perception of the amount of people that are participating.

WHAT I LEARNT: When something like the above occurs, it's usually best to assess the situation, and then, as long as there aren't too many people missing, continue. However, this can get tricky if the important people, like mods, are pulling double duty, so sometimes, it's better to just wait, and come back later.