Discussion 02: Building a Group
Please note: In order to successfully complete the program, you must respond to this post. Your comment/response should answer the questions/show that you completed the given activity (if any). Read the post carefully and implement the learning in the chat rooms. If you didn't participate in Discussion 01: Introduction to Group Support, then check here!
Welcome back, crew! In this discussion, we will learn about building a group.
As you have observed and noticed, some chat rooms are the busiest space while some are pretty quiet or slow. That means many factors contribute to a group building. It could be the topic, time of the day, members already there, social anxiety, facilitator, and so on. Each one of them has a critical role to keep the room active and supportive.
The first thing to acknowledge: 7Cups is a global platform. We are available to 189 countries and we have users who speak more than 140+ languages. That is, we have a large group of diversified members and have demographic and cultural differences. But, the challenge is how to connect them?
So, to do that, we structured and created certain rules and policies in order to facilitate group interaction. One of them is to use English as a common language to communicate. As per the research, 20% of the Earth's population speaks English, that is, the highest percentage for a language used for communication followed by the Mandarin language.
Then, we placed the chatroom rules regarding what is acceptable or unacceptable behavior in the chatroom so we are able to ensure the room is well moderated, safe, healthy, and compassionate space to connect and interact to get and provide support to each other.
That means in order to build a group, you need to identify the common grounds, and based on that you can structure a group for group support. Anxiety Support Room, for example, serves the purpose to support the members struggling with anxiety or to share the progress they make and what is working for them. Sharing Circle Room, another example, serves the purpose of the most structured and uninterrupted space to share and vent.
So, how as a group specialist/ facilitator, leader, one sets up the group is crucially important for its success. One needs to have an eye for details, structural features of a group to ensure a good environment for participation. It is important to reduce the unproductive anxiety, foster compassionate interaction among the members, increase the likelihood of good attendance and active participation, therapeutic processes, and discourage any unhealthy cliques to build a healthy group.
Discussion: Share a challenge experienced while building a group in the chatrooms? What did you learn?
Activity: Respond to at least two of your fellow trainees' comments with thoughts on their share.
After fulfilling the requirements of this post, please check out the next discussion here! Ensure to implement the learning from these discussions in the chat rooms to build and support the group. You must take part in the brainstorming/activities given in all of these discussions to successfully complete the program.
Discussion: Share a challenge experienced while building a group in the chatrooms? What did you learn?
sometimes its hard to join discussions that already happens and it depends if they people that are having them are inviting and welcoming or not, ive had good and bad experiences
@optimisticDay8079
True! Thank you for sharing 💛
@ASilentObserver
Heyo!
Here's a big challenge I've experienced while building a group in chatrooms-
I've noticed many times that even though there's a lot of participants in the room, there's this awkward looong pause, where nobody really talks much.(Maybe because there isn't much to chat about.) Nobody writes anything and everything just goes so quiet.
I've seen that when moderators or any other group chat facilitator brings up an interesting topic (like for example asking for suggestions to improve 7 cups), there's suddenly of smooth flow of chat and everyone starts to talk. I think encouragement for participation from group chat facilitators is very crucial for the group chat to stay alive.
Thanks a lot and have a great day :)
@ASilentObserver
Share a challenge experienced while building a group in the chatrooms? What did you learn?
One of the challenge types I faced was simply that people responded just with "Hi" or even nothing. Questions from my side were not answered.
What I learned is that it's easier to get people involved when I ask something that is of broader interest and "light questions" like "Fun questions".
@ASilentObserver
Challenge: My first time in the Anxiety room, I just observed at first (only welcomed new coming ins) and the room looked like a Bermuda's Triangle😅 15 people there, everyone joining says: Hello, 2-3 member say: Hello and then silence...🧐 So after I felt a little confident I decided to ask everyone 'Let's all share what kind of thought positive/troublesome you had today' - then some kind of magic began, people started to share their dreams, that all day thinking about the future, family or their worries etc There was no circle, no queue but everyone shared in such a friendly atmosphere and supporting each other. Many members were so touched and wrote to the group that they feel so great just to share their thoughts out loud, they felt like they broke free from them.
What Have I learned: That it is possible to 'sail' even in Bermuda's Triangle if we take the right course, have the best interest of the group in mins, adjust to the conditions, specifications (that was anxiety room, minds full of thoughts always), and pay attention to safety. Asking the right questions at the right place could be all that it takes to encourage grope to interact with each other and engage. Moreover, I have noted for myself that externalisation of thoughts in the group/room could be so therapeutic and relieving for members.
@ASilentObserver Discussion: Share a challenge experienced while building a group in the chatrooms? What did you learn?
The personal challenge is getting members or listeners to join a certain room or having too many in the group and depending on others to ensure there is support, organisation and coordination. I learnt that I should take things slowly and not feel presurised by a certain responsibilty because eventually, everything gets taken care of. Just focus on one part and do the best, the rest will fall in naturally. And take every lesson as an opportunity to learn and grow
@Dazzle28purvi well said purvi! 🤗
@ASilentObserver
I agree with what other GLDD trainees and graduates (yay) have mentioned, there have been several issues in the rooms, Inclusivity, non-welcoming atmosphere, inactivity / less participation, Mod hate,conflicts and unsupportive behavior etc.
Also loved the great suggestions on how we can overcome these, it does take efforts, but we all got thissss! ❤👍🏻
Sharing something from my experience-:
Challenge -:
I've noticed quite some rooms being exceptionally empty and inactive, probably because everyone may think there's no one in room, so why initiate a chat.
What I do to overcome this -:
It's also kinda funny hehe, so when I enter any room and find it really inactive, I leave some virtual cookies and positive affirmation for everyone, and sometimes random ice breakers in the room and ask the next person entering to answer and then leave another ice breaker for other people to enter and so and so forth.
My experience with this -:
It's actually quite a positive experience following that, also because sometimes in just a minute after my sending out the message, someone is out of lurking land lol, and then we engage in some conversation, and the room gets a little active as people see active conversations taking place in there, so feel more comfortable to join.
Also I do keep checking the room in some time to see if anyone replied, or if I can help more engage in the conversation again!
What I learned from this challenge and my way to overcome it -:
I've realised that many people feel socially anxious or uncomfortable to initiate conversations or even hold them for a while in rooms, some may want to try but are hesitant BUT, all it takes is one simple "Hello, How are you doing today?", to start a conversation, some ice breakers, could be as simple as what's your last movie /show, what do you plan to do today etc anything, a simple, "Hey I am glad you're on cups, and I got to talk to you", can make people feel so welcomed and appreciated, even when someone is entering, I think it's really commendable and a huge shout out to developers for this feature- we get to know who's entering the room, so a simple "Hello, welcome to the room", can make them feel acknowledged and maybe even more interested to participate in the chat.
I feel it's both an individual and a group effort to make more people feel welcomed in and more comfortable in engaging in chats, I do my bit by trying to welcome as many people as I see entering in rooms while I am there, and initiating chats in empty rooms. 😊 ❤
Thankyou for the discussion! ❤
You're one of the most warm and welcoming people I know! Thank you for everything you do
Aw hey Jovvv , thankyou for being kind always ! Right back at you ❤ @jovialButterfly6752
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
You have some fantastic ideas! I'm going to try some of those. Thanks for sharing. 😊
@GoldenNest2727
I'm glad you feel so, Nest! And ofcourse, super happy to know you'll try these as well. Good luck. ❤
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Virtual cookies is a great idea!
Some people responded nicely to anyone. Some only responded to those they got along with, was wondering how to solve that problem?
@VictoriaLove7
Hehe thankyou, cookies are indeed always awesome. Between us? I'd prefer irl over virtual. XD
That's a great question and made me wonder also. I feel it's okay for people to talk to certain people they are having a conversation with, a lot of times not everyone vibes with everyone or that not every topic is something most would like to discuss or engage in, so it's okay to talk and share what one wants to with whom they want to.
The only not-okay part here, I feel is, when things become 'cliquey' in a room or when some start feeling excluded.
In such instances it may help to divert chats on topics that are more inclusive and broad, something more people can contribute to, and by asking questions or using inviting phrases to participate/ share anything they like to.
Something like a "What do you think of this?"/ "How has your experience been with xyz?" Or more inviting and inclusive phrases like, "Hey xyzrandomusername, how are you doing today?"/ "Please feel free to share your thoughts"/ "I'd love to hear your opinion on this" or even a "What's on your mind?"/ "Would you like to talk about anything?" etc. to have them take the lead.
Gentle reminders definitely help to include more people in a conversation, assuring them that they are a part of the community, and are encouraged to talk/ share about whatever they like/ need to (within guidelines ofcourse lol).
Any tips to add here? ❤
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou Hi, Sun is shining and so are you, as usual and you know me, I love your response here and again, it's one of the great things about being a lifelong learner, is to read some of these responses like yours and discover that just arriving there with a friendly plate of cookies or a greeting is sometimes all it takes to get the ball rolling.
@VioletVeritas
Tassss, I'm so happy to seee you and always, thankyouu for taking the time to respond to me here. Yes definitely lol, sometimes that's all it takes~ how easy and everyone gets cookies~ it cannot get any better than this, unless ofcourse, some cake is involved also! :P
Thankyou for being so supportive always, you're a true delight to have around! ❤
@ASilentObserver
Discussion: Share a challenge experienced while building a group in the chatrooms? What did you learn?
Sometimes hosting and moderating a room can be a challenge when people don't want or feel comfortable sharing their thoughts in a discussion. There can be many people in the room but only a few who wants to give thoughts and replies.
What I have learned is there are different ways to engage a room. Of course it depends on the members, the topic but I also have a responsebility as a host to engage people. A great way to get people engaged to begin with is to have ice breakers. Easy ones are often the most engaging I have found. I also work hard on feeling the room. What kind of vibe is there in the room? I believe I show the way in the room when hosting, so if I address people entering the room they feel welcome. I often present the topic and tell them they are welcome to join if they'd like and also I can paste the current question so they don't have to scroll. I think it's important to give feedback to their thoughts and most of the time I try to use their names when I reply. I believe that creates an including environment where everyone feels seen, heard and equally important. Sometimes it's okay to joke a little, other times it's not. You have to feel the room, really.
@musicalHarmony
Making the room feel engaged can be tricky at times, it sounds you have a good idea on how to engage them in the room.
Asher, Community Ambassador
@ASilentObserver Discussion: Share a challenge experienced while building a group in the chatrooms? What did you learn?
when building a group in the chatrooms, people can definitely be a bit hesitant to talk or join in on conversations. because of this, when a support room doesn't seem too lively, people avoid joining. i learned that it takes some patience to allow people to come in and chat. i stay present in some of the support rooms to welcome people in and strike up a conversation, especially with newbies <3
@ASilentObserver
Discussion: Share a challenge experienced while building a group in the chatrooms? What did you learn?
After hosting Sharing Circles for a while, one of the challenge I face is that some members started to ignore the scripted message/ guide from the host and say/act however they want. Sometimes they would just come to vent and even interrupt when others are sharing. I found that even if I remind them to stick to the rules, it's still was not effective.
I learnt that it's not about the members having to obey the rule better but it's my job to make the chat more exciting and enthusiastic to catch their attentions first instead of throwing in scripted messages in. Therefore, I started doing ice breaking games before sharing chatroom's guidelines. I also introduced who I am as a host in a fun way. I found that the connections in the room would then be tigher and people are more willing to stay till the end of the chat instead of just coming to vent and leave. I realised that before I was a bit rigid - having high expectation (stick to the rule, follow the book) and forget the warmth part. Thus now it's time to maintain this balance of high expectation and high warmth in 7cups.
it can be really difficult when the members interrupt other members during shares <3 even after reminding them of the guide :( but it's great that you did your best to try and make things better ! it's not easy leading sharing circles sometimes, but the community definitely appreciates you doing so :)
Share a challenge experienced while building a group in the chatrooms? What did you learn?
Challenge: Sometimes due to some peoples, the room develops an exclusive nature. There could be a variety of reasons:-
1. Peoples continue to chat ignoring newcomers entering the room.
2. Peoples continue to chat while any other person is trying to put their thoughts/messages and get involved in the conversation.
3. Peoples calling each other from their real name and not usernames which end up making newbies confused and excluded.
What I learned: So as to maintain the inclusive nature of the chatroom, we can take various steps. The first step could be to ensure that everyone gets called with their on-screen username. The second step could be 24*7 presence of Room Supporters or Mods to ensure that the room doesn't develop exclusive nature and we are already taking up the second step by ensuring the 24*7 presence of Mods so it is great!
Thank You!
Be the change that you wish to see in the world.