Discussion 01: Introduction to Group Support

@ASilentObserver Thank you, Obs for this great post.

3 Highs

~Having the opportunity to communicate with a diverse community of people from all over the world.

~The chatroom's welcoming and supportive nature are fantastic, and it makes people feel cared about and encouraged.

~Many people benefit from the conversations and sessions because they allow them to understand more about different subjects and acquire insight. It is also enjoyable to express your opinions, listen to others' opinions, and engage with enthusiasm.

3 Lows

~During discussions and sessions, if the level of engagement in the room drops (due to a timezone difference, for example), it discourages the session leader. Also, the clashes of conversation timings often result in much higher participation in one discussion and virtually no participation in the other, which contributes significantly to the hosts' dissatisfaction.

~When certain people continue to chat with their friends while avoiding newcomers or ignoring someone else who tries to set their feelings down and participate in the discussion, the room may become exclusive. Members and attendees at the gathering are discouraged from participating in social activities as a result of this.

~Getting triggered in the rooms is also a big factor, but in a community of people from all over the world, these things happen frequently. In listener rooms mainly, when there is no Active Mod in the room to quickly delete the message, new listeners who aren't aware of the rule of not sharing more than 5 words of chat information, eventually breach the confidentiality of the members.

Thank You!

Be the change that you wish to see in the world.

@ASilentObserver

Hello, sharing my 3 highs:

-Hosting sharing circle is a wonderful time, I can focus on shares 5 minutes at a time and make people feel heard, validated and understood. Which is not only empowering to them but to me, as the various stories, scenarios and hopes let's me cherish individuality and individual differences we all have, being kind to others, allows me to be kind to myself.

-Supporting someone in the Support room let's me feel that I am not alone, everyone has shortcomings, but in group support they don't matter as we have a variety of support and types, if one person fails to connect to someone's experiences as they wished, another would which is community in it's true sense, that makes group efforts so rewarding.

-Participating in the member community room, where I can have lighthearted conversations, get to know members deeply and share my own joys and drives, let's me feel like I belong and am more than just an instrument of support.

3 lows:

-I have faced queerphobia in rooms, a lot of times, I have reported them too but the most disheartening of those experiences were that community mods did not interject or stop members, as a listener, how much I can defend myself or stand up for myself is limited, in order to not cause any aminosity.

-Intentional picking on listeners or anyone new who enters the rooms, which has not only happened to me, but to other listeners I know, people form cliques, the users who are regulars kind of monopolize the rooms, it's very tough for anyone new to integrate or feel welcomed.

-some dehumanizing experiences, sometimes some members are completely ignored, mocked or just deemed un-supportable in rooms, this usually happens with people who are severely depressed, those who do not make friends with regular members, those who are unresponsive to advice and suggestions, those who often share the same struggles, or those who have schizophrenia. People at times start ignoring these members completely, they even tell other members to ignore that person, openly. Hostility towards them is not unfound, when I was a new listener here and entered the chats, I was horrified by it, I asked mods and listeners in other rooms to help support people in support room, but got no responses and was dismissed "we can leave them be, members can support each other in rooms" is what I got, if you spend a full day in the support room you will realize how limited the support actually is amongst members and one listener is not enough.

Hi hi everyone,

Hope all are doing well! Here are my highs and lows of group support so far!

Highs

1. My first high would definitely be the first time hosting. Everyone was so amazing and very helpful to me. Everyone was so welcoming and warm. It was so nice to feel the love and support from the community. I had lots of questions and the people in the room answered patiently, walking me through each step. It felt so good to have the love and support from everyone as well as have many others be able to share. It was a really positive experience.

2. My second high would be the first time that I ever shared in a sharing circle. I was so nervous but everyone was encouraging and provided me with a judgment free space to express myself. When I was done the host wrote a very sweet comment, reminding me that my feelings were valid and that I was not alone.

3. My third high would probably just be hanging out in the rooms and in casual chat. Just meeting new people and hearing their stories. It's amazing to see when everyone supports someone and shows their love, kindness and compassion, and really makes someone's day a little brighter.

Lows

1. My first low would just be that sometimes when the chats are filled it can be hard to follow the convo and it can be very overwhelming. It’s hard when there are two or three separate chats going on a certain room like the support room or community room. It can be overwhelming to try and sort it all out.

2. Another low in the chat rooms that I experienced was where people had grouped together and were not being the most supportive and the chat spiraled fast. Got a mod but it took a while. It was hard when everyone had their own opinions and failed to listen and support one another. Without a mod or listener watching the room there was a lack of supervision and a bunch of people with feelings hurt.

3. I think that a final lowish kind of in the group rooms is sometimes a lack of participation. I think that encouraging others and creating a good environment will help this and of course ice breakers but it still was awkward the first time it happened or when u enter and u don’t know anyone in the room so making everyone feel included is also important.

@ASilentObserver

3 Highs:

1. Whenever I needed support during chats, the listener support chat group helped me a lot.

2. The group was quite supportive and encouraging when I joined 7 cups. Since I was new to 7 cups, some listeners on group chats helped me navigate through the platform.

3. Also by just observing the way group mods and other listeners actively listen to one another, helped me understand the ways in which I need to develop as well.

3 Lows:

1. Sometimes I felt the things I shared were not validated and it made me feel disconnected.

2. There are times when 2 or 3 members or listeners take over the conversations and give less space for others to share.

3. Some members take feelings of others lightly which hurts the other person.

Discussion: Share 3 highs and 3 lows you experienced in the group support chatroom!

3highs: 1. The presence of room supporters and moderators is a positive. 2. Guided discussions are helpful. 3. Sharing Circles with even members as hosts is very helpful.

3lows: 1. Room is mostly not inclusive and there are cliques steering the conversation almost always. 2. The idea of a Room Supporter is nice, but they are often lost about their exact role and lack practical training and guidance. 3. Moderators seem to have been too firm (lacking empathy and too professional), to have earned a negative reputation.

Here is a growth path to help you smile https://www.7cups.com/path/playlist/smile/

@ASilentObserver

3 highs;
when i first joined in the chat rooms, i remember i was excited to see how things worked!
the first session i hosted (SC), is one that i will probably never forget because it was fun!
the first discussion i participated in was great and everyone was welcoming

3 lows;
when i first joined in the chat rooms, i was as well a bit confused and got a bit lost
the first time i hosted a session, i as well felt a bit embarrassed because i'd no idea what to do and i didnt really have the script yet
as i didnt know how things worked, going in the TL room was kind of confusing for me in the beginning

3 Highs:
- I felt very excited to join a great group of people and discuss our journey on 7 cups.
- I loved the supportive atmosphere that was created.
- The respect and care people showed to each other were great.

3 Lows:
- I was a little overwhelmed at first with speaking to a lot of people.
- At first, I wasn't aware of how things were supposed to work.
- It was frustrating at times when the conversation charged quickly and things were not organized.

@ASilentObserver

My 3 Highs were
1) Seeing the lovely support for the first time, members trying to help each other and sharing their experiences. This platform was one of a kind for me in this context.
2) Hosting my first sharing circle, i was too nervous, People helped me and i finally got over the fear, It went amazing
3) Seeing the organized structure and unique events being held in those rooms, it encouraged me to contribute more towards this amazing community.

My 3 Lows were
1) Seeing disruptive members engaging in conflict. Disrupting the whole room while no mods were present. I was still new and did not know about the emergency form yet. It was a tough and low situation.
2) Hosting a session when no one showed up. It left me feeling discouraged and empty. But i realized those times can come due to many reasons.
3) The mod hate, that's a thing really hard to deal with at times.

@ASilentObserver

Highs - There are so many!

Going into the room for the first time is probably one of the highs. When I stepped into the room everyone seemed to stop what they were doing and welcome me as well as start involving me in the conversation. That is one of the things that has encouraged me to stay at 7cups.

Becoming a Mod - It was a great achievement and I can now help to keep the chatroom safe. I love the role and glad I can help more towards the community when I enter a chatroom.

The discussions - Who doesn't love participating in the discussions

Lows

The arguments in the chatroom

When I enter a chatroom and no one is there

When people get into arguments

@ASilentObserver

3 Highs:
- When I started as a Listener I was instantly greeted by The Care Team and a lot of listeners. My first few days were overwhelming and my fellow listeners respected my boundaries of wanting to get a handle on the 1-on-1 chats before I dove into group discussions.
- When I joined the group discussions I was greeted every single time when I entered the room and was asked how my day was going
- When I had difficult chats there was always a listener, CS, PS, or someone from the Care Team there to support me and check in with me.

3 Lows:
- During a Listener check in I witnessed a listener not respecting someone's boundaries despite warnings. This was discouraging because the listener whose boundaries wasn't respected is super nice and always respects others. It also was sad to see because most of the listeners truly do respect others and care about them. We want to help as listeners so to see another listener not follow the guidelines was disheartening
- Unfortunately sometimes members will be unsupportive toward others as well. As a Room Supporter it is my job to ensure the room stays positive and support at all times. When there isn't cooperation on that my role becomes harder. If the situation continues to escalate or not deescalate it can become stressful at times as well for me. Despite it I always follow through because that is what I signed up for, but it still is stressful
- I have no problem with members/listeners talking casually to each other but it should be done in the appropriate rooms. I often see people trying to attend the Support Circle 24/7 to get support but instead they are met with people just casually talking. If people want to have a casual talk, which is absolutely okay, it should be done in the respective community rooms where it is intended for casual talk.