Self-esteem

@intuitiveEast6300 I see your self esteem in a corral. It’s like an agitated horse running around in circles. Climb onto the fence and wait for it…when it comes around, jump…jump on its back. Hold on tight, don’t let it get away!

Does that image sound like what you’re trying to do? Wrangle your self esteem?

Maybe try this instead. Set a timer for maybe 15 minutes. Sit quietly. Close your eyes. Nothing to do, no tasks to conquer. Breath naturally and pay attention to your body as you breath. Pay attention to the in breath, to the out breath. Relax your body and just stay in this moment. If your mind wanders, gently redirect it to your breath. Again relax.

When the timer goes off, set it for another 15 minutes. Use the same technique as mentioned above and again let your body relax. Then repeat something silently like, “I’m ok, everything will be ok.” Say it to yourself just a few times. Then keep focusing on your breath and being relaxed until the timer ends.

Maybe this exercise can change your relationship to your self esteem. It’s no longer agitated and no longer stuck in a coral. It’s out in the meadow far away. It’s calm. It stands still or walks slowly or eats hay on the ground. If you sit quietly it eventually will make its way to you. It’s standing near by now. It recognizes you as a friend. You can walk right up to it and pet it. If you walk away it will gently follow . If you’re tired it will let you climb on for a ride because it knows you’re not there to whip it, not there to tame it, not there ride it to submission. Your self esteem is your life long friend now. You respect and love each other. And sure, your self esteem will get spooked by a loud noise and whinny and stand on its hind legs, and you’ll grab it’s rains, you’ll speak soft words, and it knows you, it trusts you, and it calms down. It’s your best friend. You’re gentle with it and it’s gentle with you. You love each other and respect each other and it will never leave you.

You can journal or play music or go for a walk. Those are all good things to keep you healthy, but your self esteem doesn’t need you to do those things for it. It’s already your friend.

I hope the imagery wasn’t too silly. I hope this helps.

Hi Pond,

I actually love horses, so the imagery wasn't silly; it was amazing!

I guess what you say makes sense. After 22 years, it's hard to change the way I think about certain things.

One of the things I did that was really hard but helped me a lot to love myself and grow my self esteem was very simple.

Every morning and every night and every time my self image started to slip, I would get in front of a mirror and tell myself how I really felt about myself. But then I would imagine that the person I was looking at was someone who needed my help. Someone who needed to know that they mattered. Someone who wasn't me, and I told them they I loved them. It helped to see myself the way I see others, because then I could say 'I love you' while looking into my own eyes. The tears were frequent at first. But the confidence was built. Another exercise was to close my eyes and imagine myself as a kid or a baby. Even holding them in my arms and making the rocking motion. Then telling baby me or little kid me, the hopes and dreams I had for them like they were my own child. Telling them they had nothing to fear, that I will always love them.

These things help to establish confidence for me. Maybe they could help you too

@intuitiveEast6300

I am inviting you to the Sharing Circle chat room where you will meet and will receive

support from other members of 7Cups.com ! 😊

Family is very important I think we can never reflect on how important they are.

You are headed the right direction what we can do now is forget you were ever in the dark and you can start by cleaning the place up after the party.

It's only normal to gather in such occasions as we spiral out of control at time but I am still with you when we realize together that the party reaches a slow because some things don't reach the full stop.

You seems nice at first but you want that old rush again, who can we turn to?

You can write the rest yourself as we reach out to others even our doctors about the beast we would like to get to know upfront.

There is one thing we know is how to greet as normal people do, an animal wants to get out when we do that though we do not want it to be restrained much longer because as people persons, we acknowledge and learn to love each other willingly. It's a good thing but I must leave you.

Hi Town,

I have no idea what you're trying to say. Could you please explain it differently?

-East