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Ocean and Navy's corner :)

navyAcai8433 May 9th, 2023

Hey @LoverOfTheOcean it's Navy, glad we get to chat here! Looking forward 😊

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LoverOfTheOcean May 9th, 2023

Hey @navyAcai8433 woah that was fast! :)

How has your day been so far?

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navyAcai8433 OP May 9th, 2023

@LoverOfTheOcean yes it was!! I was like.. not losing this opportunity to make an online friend! 😣 My day is going okay, not really planned much. I usually go for swimming in the evenings but they're closed today. How has your day been going?

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LoverOfTheOcean May 9th, 2023

@navyAcai8433 I'm a very patient person, you wouldn't have lost me. 😉

Oh I love swimming! Sad that they're closed today though. You go swimming everyday if they're open? I recently got piercings and now I'm basically not allowed to swim for some time sadly...

My day has been alright, had to work. It wasn't really a busy day though, it's been raining a lot. So, understandable that there weren't many customers.

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navyAcai8433 OP May 9th, 2023

@LoverOfTheOcean I used to go for swimming a lot more before and then when life gets in the way, your hobbies go out the picture! I am trying to incorporate activities a lot more right now so I started swimming and I started dance classes recently, about a week or two ago. It's mainly because I am looking to improve my health right now! Sorry to hear you're unable to go for swimming right now, but hope you can start soon! I understand there wouldn't be many customers during a bad weather. Do you like your new piercing?

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LoverOfTheOcean May 9th, 2023

@navyAcai8433 that's understandable. Good job on trying to incorporate it back into your life! Do you like the dance classes so far? What kind of dancing is it? If you can improve your health and do something you enjoy doing, than that's a win win imo!

I am happy with my piercings very much yes! But never thought about not being able to swim or go in the water for the healing period. 😅 Like my sister, my parents and I gave her a coupon for a day of fun by her choosing for her birthday, and she was like "ohh maybe we could go surfing" but since I'm not allowed in the water yet, we can't sadly. I wish I already could go swimming or surfing though. One can dream, right?

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navyAcai8433 OP May 9th, 2023

@LoverOfTheOcean yes actually! It's been a very long time I didn't care for my health, and I'm just done at this point so I restarted these activites. I am learning contemporary dance style along with hip hop this time, and it seems fun so far! 🙂 How long have they recommended rest after getting a piercing? I hope not too long so that you can get back to swimming and surfing, all that fun stuff! It was so nice to know you all gifted her with a coupon for her birthday, that's so sweet and I hope she has liked it! ♥️

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navyAcai8433 OP May 10th, 2023

@LoverOfTheOcean thank you for your message back! Sometimes the forum threads glitch I suppose, I couldn't find the option to reply any further to your last post so I'm replying to one of your previous posts. So long as you receive it! 😊 Along with swimming and dacing, I also enjoy listening to music, cycling or reading up on human behavior and stuff like that. This is all very interesting for me! Though I actively started those two activities I mentioned before but I do the others as and when I get some free time! :) I understand the piercings would take a while to heal. I actually had no idea they don't allow you to do that stuff for about 9 months or so. That's quite a while! But as long as you are healing well and it's not irritated or anything, it's good news! I do not have siblings actually and I was an only child. So one of the few things I wondered was how it is to have a brother or sister! There are only a few things I'm not open about, my age and where I am from. Otherwise it's shouldn't be an issue for me to tell you about anything. I'll still let you know and I thank you so much for offering to be by my side. I must say, the same goes for you and I am here for you just the same ❤️ how has your day been going so far? Have you enjoyed having siblings yourself?

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navyAcai8433 OP May 10th, 2023

@LoverOfTheOcean I'm glad you receive my messages! So I like to listen to pop songs mostly but I am open to listening to all kinds of music. Music has a way of making me feel so comforted and uplifted sometimes, or makes me feel understood. Have you felt like that before? Hmmm, let me see. As far as human behavior, currently I'm learning more about how to cope better in different situations I'm faced with. It's very variable what I read. Sometimes I also read relatable quotes/posts.. you know what I mean? It's very interesting for me. I'm glad you enjoyed having a sister. Are you the elder one or the younger? Seems when you have a sibling, you have someone who shares with you in activities and interests. If you share a good relation with them, then there's nothing like it! It could be one of the most special bonds you share 🙂 Sorry to hear you've been busy and tired. How did you end up spending the evening? My day has been a bit mundane today, but I'm still keeping myself engaged as best as I can. I recently came by Rihanna's super Bowl halftime perform video. It's so cool! You can try giving it a watch if you wish ♥️

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LoverOfTheOcean May 10th, 2023

@navyAcai8433 i know exactly what you mean by music making you feel understood/comfy/uplifted! Music is like a comfort zone where you can feel completely accepted in literally any situation or part of your life. Or so it's always felt for me. Like you're not alone anymore and that it's okay to be you unapologetically, y'know?

Yes, I know what you mean by relatable posts/quotes. I try to avoid those atm since they make me overthink lately.😅 But I totally get why you're into that. There's plenty of interesting things about behavior. Feel free to share them with me if you come across something interesting, if you like!

I am the younger sister of the two. We do share a good relation, though I still find it hard to open up to her, but I'm working on that.

I'm spending my evening by watching some youtube and tv. Also just took a shower. Probably gonna eat some chocolate or something as well. By mundane, do you mean like cleaning and stuff? Or am I thinking in the wrong direction? Good that you're keeping yourself engaged as best as you can though!

That does sound cool! I might watch it later this evening or tomorrow evening. I'll let you know when I've seen it. 💙

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navyAcai8433 OP May 11th, 2023

@LoverOfTheOcean that's such a lovely description about music ♥️♥️ you're totally right about that! It makes me feel uplifted many many times, and I am someone who also really feels music... I love it so much!! And then there are some pieces of music where the lyrics is too relatable for me. I'm glad you are also able to feel a similar way about it 🙂 do you have a favorite genre by any chance? I see you were the youngest in the family, that's very cool! But it's also understandable to have difficulties in those relations. It's okay if you aren't able to open up as best as you want.. I have only had cousins, no siblings of my own, and mostly within them I have been the eldest or one of the eldest! Though my relationships to my cousins are very strained. I hope you spent a lovely evening and were able to rest up and relax from all the stress of the day ♥️ I went swimming yesterday which was very very fun, but the rest of the day was kind of bleak for me and everything was just normal and dull. I also had a phone call with a friend, and I thought they spoke very rudely with me. I have had difficulty in my friendship to them before and so I have been feeling a bit down about their treatment towards me yet again. Cleaning and stuff is very mundane too, but I haven't cleaned yesterday 😛 I should though! Do you have any hobbies of your own, or anything interesting you like to do in your free time usually? Looking forward from you ♥️

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navyAcai8433 OP May 11th, 2023

@LoverOfTheOcean it's so nice to know you like listening to bands ♥️♥️ rock/pink is a great genre indeed! Are there any bands in specific thay you like? On the other hand, I haven't listened to very many bands at all, just a few 🙂 do you also like listening to songs of any other language besides English? I have a very strained relationship to my cousins. When we were younger, my relationships to them were very close and we would meet often. From both parents' side, there were issues that came up between my parents' and the parents of my cousins, so naturally we drifted apart as well. We would've shared a good relation, but what happened was that even my cousins became personally involved and sided with their parents 🙂 this was avoidable as between us, we never had issues at all. I am usually very alone, I spent a lot of my life so far all alone and without friend groups, cousins, or great bonds within family. I still look forward that one day I will be able to make some meaningful, good bonds. It might just require me some patience right now 😊 and yes, my friend (not really a friend) was rude to me as he always has been. We are friends for four months or so now, and he has an issue with bad behavior and feeling superior, which I do not respect at all. I have tried talking to him, taking a step back, but it's not really helping me, and I don't really think he realises how hurtful his behavior is, not truly. So I am looking to now be extremely distant and cut him off cordially. It's life. Everyone doesn't stay, and my mental health and self esteem ended up getting very affected by all that. So yeah, here's me trying to make friends and failing at it miserably here and there 😛 I'm glad you like watching movies/series. Which one have you watched recently? I'm also terrible at remembering things myself.... so you've asked me to do something that I am going be most likely very very terrible at....... * sobs * I hope you can enjoy your hobbies when you are able to. With work, it's hard to focus on what we like given the stress and tiring feelings after. So no guilt here ♥️ yaaayy to loving Rihanna's performance! Isn't it so coool 😊 she was also pregnant at the same she was on stage, which I thought was commendable!! So so glad you liked it ♥️♥️ if you have any songs you want to recommend for me, I am 100% willing to give them a listen! Thank you for being my online friend and sharing in my life with me ❤️💙

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navyAcai8433 OP May 12th, 2023

@LoverOfTheOcean awww that's awesome!! I've heard music by Green Day which is amazing! I see you're open to other languages as well. These days so much of korean pop is on trend always! You're right that it's terrible when parents hold grudges against of each other. It's worse when they also end up influencing their children to side with them. I wouldn't have been influenced even if anyone tried, so that was the saddest part about it all! Thank you for saying I'm doing a good job. I certainly have a very hard time thinking that about myself, that I am doing good! Though I know I am trying my best... I am unable to be friends with him as I am ending up being very very scared of him. When I think about him and stuff like that, I am getting triggered and getting shivers. All day I am feeling miserable. I am really trying to cope here..... Haikyuu sounds really cool! I know a lot of people enjoy anime 😊 I haven't tried watching it myself, but I am not opposed to watching it when I get some time for it ♥️ the last movie I watched was "Murder mystery" on Netflix and I thought the first part of the movie was much more enjoyable than the second part. Awwww you can also try keeping an alarm with a note on it. That's how I keep a track of everything actually! I have alarms set for what not 😅 I'll give your songs and listen and get back to you in my next message about how I found them. Feeling so excited 😊 What are you up to today? And has your day been going well? ♥️

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navyAcai8433 OP May 12th, 2023

@LoverOfTheOcean "Overcome" by nothing but thieves has such a freeing vibe and I looooovee the lyrics!! Oh my, that music really has something going for it which I love!! K-pop sounds really cool!! I remember listening to c-pop once just to see how it is!! Very interesting stuff huh 😮 k-pop music videos involve such heavy production and the teams and bands are very practicised! I find it really alluring that they put so much hard work into what they do. Thank you so much for saying that!! ♥️♥️♥️ Feels so so good just to read it. * Sending virtual hugs right back * it's still tough for me, and I'm still trying. Thank you for all your support ♥️ Yes I have watched the movie! Though I thought that the first part was more funny then the second one but it was still a really good watch! 😊 A concert sounds sooo cool!!! Are you going to attend with family or friends? I hope you enjoy heap loads ♥️♥️ my day is okay so far. For me, I will just try to get by with today as best as I can. Just surviving through the day is my goal. I'm not up to much right now, just on my phone, scrolling and replying back! Will probably do some reading in a bit 🫶🏼 I'm on a somewhat break right now, for this month or a bit more than that, so I am about to either start working or start studying, or do both part time. It's a season of change for me, so most of these days are bleak and dull, and me trying to see what I can do next. So that's what is up with me!

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navyAcai8433 OP May 12th, 2023

@LoverOfTheOcean yes I enjoyed it very very veryyyy much! Thank you for introducing me to it ♥️♥️♥️ c-pop was just me giving it a try..... I was like hmmm why not 🤔 and I just went ahead! I understand k-pop industry has its positives and negatives. Mental health is very much one but also these k-pop idols have a really difficult time maintaining those perfect bodies. I wonder if they are able to eat enough! Koreans in general have pretty strict body standards, I think that could be imposing on many people who live there! I'm glad you liked both movies ♥️♥️ it was a great watch! A long while back (because I don't watch very many movies), I watched "Work it". It is very high school-ey and fun, light hearted. Also very very funny! I don't know if you know Liza Koshy (she's a youtuber) and she's hilarious! She's in the movie too, but she's also on YouTube and makes comedy videos. You can give it a watch if you are feeling low and such, or ever at any point ♥️ I'm so glad to hear about it!! I hope you enjoy lots over there!!! So excited for you! Sending hugs 😊 today I have literally done nothing haha! I lied down like a log in my own depression and sadness! One wouldn't have been able to tell anyone is even at home! 😐 We are, oh my gosh that's a lovely comparison hahahaha! I'm cracking up at that reference! 🤣 I have been reading "the maid" by Nita Prose, but I haven't been consistent with it. Still on the second chapter! Thank you for believing in me ♥️♥️♥️ and for all of those kind words. I wish I could tell you how helpful it is to just read them. For me today wasn't the best day, I mean it could very well be of the the worsts I had. So much went down..... very unexpectedly. How was your day and when is this concert going to be held? ♥️ Looking forward from you as always ♥️♥️

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navyAcai8433 OP May 14th, 2023

@LoverOfTheOcean thank you for your message back ♥️ I'm so glad the movie sounds interesting to you! "The maid" is a very suspenseful book regarding the accounts of a person who worked as a maid in a hotel. What she witnesses and goes through and her experiences. It's very thrilling actually! Aww I'm sorry you feel tired! Sending healing beams that can make you feel rested and refreshed ♥️♥️ let me know how mother's day went! I'm excited to know what you planned out! ♥️

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navyAcai8433 OP May 16th, 2023

@LoverOfTheOcean no problem with that at all! This is the thread you come back to when you are free and available, and when you want to relax! Not a pressure to get back on time or anything like it 😊 I'm so sorry you were tired. If you would like to talk about it and let it out here, I am here for you (now or any other time!). I hope your mother really liked the scarf and the birthday card ♥️ yeah! And I can tell you and your family value experiences and it makes sense too! Life is about memories and experiences more than anything else. Awww gosh, sounds like a bit of work. I believe you will be able to get through it though ♥️♥️ sorry about the headache and all! That sucks :( my day was okay, I went to see a friend earlier and that was super fun. We watched a horror movie together which was my very first horror movie up till date so I was like, "how did you even get me to do this?" I'm genuinely always like, why should I ever pay to get scared 😑 isn't that but logical? But hey ai have to say I enjoyed it. I was scared (obviously!) but I liked knowing the backstory of the movie and why things happened that way, etc. If you want to share the card with me, you can click pictures of it on your phone and upload them on "Imgur". They should allow you to upload images where you post the picture(s) and they generate a link out of them which you can add to your next reply to me. You can give it a try and see how it works 😊 just make sure you are uploading the correct picture so double check them to ensure your privacy isn't in any way getting hampered ♥️ sending you lots of good wishes, friend. You are in my good thoughts and I hope any and every negativity or stress in your life gets easier for you! 😊

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navyAcai8433 OP May 18th, 2023

@LoverOfTheOcean most welcome! ♥️♥️ That birthday card looks soooooo beautiful!!! You must have put so much thought and effort into it!! I loved that you wrote, "Bee-utiful" - that's so cute! I actually watched conjuring 🥶 very very scary but I still watched it lol. I hope you enjoyed Haikyuu and you rested up really well after a tiring day ♥️ sending love! I'm always here if you want to talk about anything! ♥️♥️

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navyAcai8433 OP May 18th, 2023

@LoverOfTheOcean always, always welcome, my friend! ♥️ It sounds to me like you went through a breakup and so that has been really difficult but also seeing someone new can also feel really confusing emotionally. Though there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing so. If he has been sweet and respectful then it can be great to see how it goes! Though I know everyone can be nice at first, so I am always very cautious and then I take my time to open up to them. About a year and a half ago, I had a breakup myself and it was really hard for me to move on..... part of me didn't want to move on, and part of me found it so hard to embrace a new life afterwards. I say time is a great healer.... I saw many people coming and going away, I'm no better than you but it has always helped knowing that everything is a phase... I understand you would be feeling anxious, that's what a knot in the stomach sounds to me. If I can do anything, anything at all to help you, please let me know. Take this space to also talk more about this as and when you wish. Sorry for making this longer, but I remember recently I mentioned a friend was behaving rudely with me. It's been about a week or so that I have cut off all times with him after he had literally shouted over me on call. That was the last straw for me! :( and you wouldn't imagine that it actually feels so much better that I wouldn't have to deal with him anymore and I can move on freely.

So happy to hear also about your plants! So glaaad to know about it ♥️♥️😊 my day has been alright. About to watch a movie on Netflix, so I'm doing the most difficult of everything, choosing which one to even watch! Wish me luck! :P looking forward to your responses as always ♥️

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navyAcai8433 OP May 18th, 2023

@LoverOfTheOcean I understand it would be really hurtful... especially if he tried to be friends, yet not wanting to be together with you in a relationship would be hard to handle emotionally. I would not be able to..... I wasn't friends with my ex either. It's so taxing... I understand the hatred. Every feeling has a message for you... I felt so much anger towards the friend who treated be horribly, I thought the anger is telling me that he violated my boundaries. Which felt like a true reasoning to my feeling! I'm really so relieved without him.... obviously grief over someone who is alive but chose not to be with you has a very different.. very difficult impact over us. This is why I feel passionately about the topic of breakups too... many a times we do not know how to navigate and our feelings for the person can make it even more difficult and complicated for us. I am with you in this journey. I am healing too, and I am so happy to heal along with you!! ♥️♥️

Yeah first dates can be especially nerve wracking. Did you meet him at work or something? It's great to be cautious either way, and probably if you feel awkward or anxious, you can ask him some questions and be the one responding most of the time! I hope you both are also meeting in a safe location if this a blind date! Public places like malls and such are always good for the first time! 😊

I'm very happy to share with you my experiences, hear about yours. It's not been very long I chat with you, but I really really love talking with you. I feel really grateful for having someone like you be a part of my life! 😊

Oh yes and surely. I gave him some chances and he was still acting up, until he completely lost it. I couldn't justify or excuse it anymore so I have left. It has been a healthy practice to let people and things go when they are not serving me. I'm hoping I can make more good changes to my life now!

I decided to watch "Daddy's home" and I have just about started with it. Let's see if I made a good choice! We'll know soon! They say it's a comedy movie 🤔

What are you up to right now? Did you decide when you are meeting up with the new guy? Looking forward from you ♥️

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navyAcai8433 OP May 19th, 2023

@LoverOfTheOcean that isn't good. If he knew what he was doing and he knew that wouldn't be good for you, I think he was completely using you in that case. It's also really terrible news that he's with someone else already, whilst he told you the opposite. I'm wondering, had you often felt in the relationship like he didn't care for you? Or did not pay attention to your needs as much as his? Because this seems to be a pattern of his behavior and after a break up, still continuing that pattern is extremely wrong to do. I strongly believe he did not do right by you.

It's been a long time since I heard that someone is giving false hope even after breaking up with them, also using them by being friends and also lying to them and seeing someone else. It sounds like you were wronged over and over. Let me tell you, when people leave even for their own reasons, they can still empathise with you and they still ask you what you need in order to move on. If that's space away from him, he should've respected it IF he cared. I don't really think he did, honestly.

I'm glad you're meeting in a busy city, and Sunday is right around the corner too ♥️ did you decide how you would spend the time with him? Also looks like you named a dating app but then 7 cups censored it because of their policies!

You can also consider sharing your love location continuously during that time when you are out with someone you trust! Not letting him drop you off or pick you up, as your location for the first date could be confidential matter. Or using your own conveyance :) I also split my bills with anyone I go out with because I don't want to feel obligated to anyone!

It was my birthday about two months ago now and I made that promise to myself that I wouldn't allow anything that doesn't serve me well. Now that isn't an easy promise to make to myself, because letting go anything is hard! But I decided that I will undertake the struggle it takes, however I wouldn't continue into something that isn't good after all! I want to see where this decision takes me. I like to see the outcomes and learn from them, etc!

Awww great!! I still couldn't complete the movie but I thought it sounded hilarious which is why I chose to watch it! I'm glad you thought it was funny, gives me more incentive to keep watching! 😊

Recently I am looking at new career paths and trying to figure what I can do next. I'm confused between things and I am thinking to apply for things and try my best, based on what I get selected for, maybe then I can make the choice! This is very nerve wracking for me. But I recently have a bit more faith than I had before!

Slow mornings are great. I hope you enjoyed it 😊

Meeting new people can be super scary, I agree with you. I am also a living example of social anxiety * sobs dramatically * but I hope your date goes really really well ♥️♥️

Today I haven't done much. It was one of those days when nothing goes right. So I decided I will start again tomorrow. I am preparing for what is coming next, which could be interviews or tests to get into jobs/courses. I want to do something good! On the weekends I have my dance classes, and I could be out for some misc. work. Maybe watch a movie or something! Study. All this stuff 😊 looking forward to your reply ♥️

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navyAcai8433 OP May 23rd, 2023

@LoverOfTheOcean sounds like a really bad sign, ocean. I'm really sorry to hear about it. Especially if you were more on the empathetic side then this relationship has been very hurtful for you. Of course I understand he is not to blame for everything, but I understand that the fact that he gave you false hope or lied basically, this was a very bad move, because this increases expectations you can have towards him. This is a responsibility for him. Now if you didn't expect anything from him, that was due to your own goodness, but people do and it's normal to as he's giving you hope after all. What happened in reality was the opposite, as he used you and slept with you. Overall terrible situation and I am super sorry this happened with you! Glad you are not talking to him now though. Let me know how that is going! 😊


Awww I'm sorry to hear your date got cancelled! What did you end up doing instead on that day?

Thank you for your kind words ocean! I'm so grateful for them! 😊


I actually didn't like the movie "Daddy's home" so much. I thought it would be funny but I was feeling so bad for the man and I was so serious the entire time! I also felt like they extended the plot to increase view time. The story would have been over long time ago otherwise :p

How have your plants been by the way? Hope you are remembering to water them! ♥️

Dance class was great! As per usual and this week I am not going swimming since I got my period ☹️ I am working on some assignments that were pending for a while (I'm a verrryy last minute person when it comes to all this!!) so that's how I am spending my time. Thankfully over the last one or two days I got a lot of work done, and there's some more to go. We'll see how that goes!

Thank you for your kind and good wishes! I hope your days are bringing you peace and joy as well ♥️♥️

Oh yeah!! You told me if the concert. How was it?! Awwww I'm so glad you had fun!! Did they play some of your favorite songs too? Thankfully your ex is out of the picture, as I think you enjoyed more than you would if you were with someone who is only making you sad and cry right now. He isn't good for you! And I am here with you in this journey as well, you can count on me and I will be here as best as I can for you!

How have your days been lately? Have you been taking care of you? Looking forward as always ♥️♥️

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LoverOfTheOcean May 27th, 2023

@navyAcai8433 yeah, thinking back, there were plenty red flags... Guess love really does make you blind huh... Thanks for saying all that, though. It feels good to be understood by someone 💙 The not talking to him is going alright I think. I've been talking more to that guy I was supposed to have a date with, so I'm more focused on that tbh. We haven't set a new date yet unfortunately. But hope we can meet soon. I think I ended up working on some homework I got from work

That's totally fine if you didn't like the movie. To each their own, right? Have you been watching other movies lately?

Thanks for the reminder!💙 I have watered my plants. And even propagated one of them! I've got baby spider plants now, though not sure what to do with them yet...

Glad to hear you enjoyed your dance class! Don't you just hate it when you period gets in the way? I always have like a day the week prior where I'm extra emotional and get irritated about the smallest things. And than when my period shows up I'm just like ahh that makes sense.

I hope the assignments were doable and that they don't take up all of your free time. Good to hear you've already done a lot! Makes me a proud friend 😊 I'm sure you can finish the rest as well! Don't forget to take breaks though 😉

They did play some of my favorite songs! It made me feel very happy at the moment. I do think I enjoyed it better now than I would've, if I went with my ex. Thank you for being there for me, it really means a lot💙💙

My days have been up and down. I had this awful pain in my lower belly on Tuesday. Everything was spinning when I went to the bathroom and next thing I know I was sort of sitting against the wall on the floor. Not knowing how I got there... I guess I past out. I was supposed to go to work that day, but called in sick obviously. Made an appointment with my doctor, who couldn't find anything. But they are gonna take a blood test to be sure nothing's wrong next Friday. Luckily I was feeling bit better the next day and could go to work on Thursday again. Also had another concert Thursday. Went to Bruce Springsteen with my mom and sister. It was in an arena and we had seats way up high, and I'm afraid of heights 😅 so that was something. The concert itself was like 3 hours long or so and it was so good seeing a band having so much fun playing music together. I don't know how I can explain what it was like, but it was on a whole other level of concerts that I've been to. And I enjoyed every last bit of it!

How has last week been to you? Do you have any plans for this week? Love to hear from you again as always 💙💙

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navyAcai8433 OP June 5th, 2023

@LoverOfTheOcean hey hey Ocean! Thanks for your lovely reply! I'm happy to know your decision to not talk to your ex has made you happy! :) And yes I really do hate it when periods get in our way. It's annoying at one point lol! My days have been going alright more or less, just the same as usual. I didn't have anything really new and interesting happen so I'm just riding through steady waters right now! I'm really so sorry to hear that you were not feeling well and that sounds horrendous that you almost passed out on the bathroom floor. Why would that happen, do you think? I hope the doctor has recommended what is to be done to take care of yourself! Let me know what the results say as well! I'm really looking forward to know how you are doing now and how everything else has been going ❤️

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LoverOfTheOcean June 12th, 2023

@navyAcai8433 Hi Navy! Thanks for your reply 😊 How have you been lately? Hope your still in steady waters. That's okay if you think you feel like nothing new or interesting has happend, I'm happy to hear about your day to day whereabouts as well anyways 😊 Or if somethings bothering you and you want to vent, I'll be here for you 💙

Not much came from my doctor's visit, but the fact that I slightly have a vitamin D deficiency. But the passing out, no one know really what that was about...

Last week I had not one but 2 concerts, Harry Styles and the day after was Muse. Had a lot of fun with friends and family. Only thing that sucks is that they went by so fast. I wanna go back, especially to Muse's concert. I miss them already. But today Nothing But Thieves announced a concert so I'm happy about that. But stressed for getting tickets tomorrow (presale), or Friday (regular sale).

Oh I've got some news btw. That guy I told you about, we set a date again. I'm excited and a bit nervous about it. So does he, he told me. Honestly can't wait to meet him tbh. I'm just gonna tell you his name too, cause it's easier to talk about him instead of saying that guy and whatever. It's Denny btw.

Also went to see Spider-Man: across the spider verse and it. was. AMAZING. The different art styles, the story. It had an open ending though, so now have to wait a year for the next one to come out 🙃 But am probably gonna see it again with Denny 😊

Let's see what else... oh, I had EMDR therapy for the first time. It was hard and exhausting. But I think it went well. Thought I kinda found it hard to concentrate on the bad thing over and over. And like all the feelings that I felt during the session.

I'll be house sitting my grandparents house for the next few weeks. Though I still have to pack my stuff, but it's like 30°C right now and my energy is thus very low 😅 How's the weather over there? I hope it's less hot than here.

I guess overall I've been doing okay ish. There's still thoughts, especially at night, where I feel alone and long for arms around me. Where I miss what my ex and I had in the beginning. I did notice that I do think about him sometimes. But like also think ugh when he sends me a snap on *** (we still send eachother snaps for streak, but that's it).

I think that's all I got for now. I'll talk to you some other time again. Wishing you all the best and luck and hope the waters stay steady for you! Can't wait for your reply as always 💙💙

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navyAcai8433 OP June 21st, 2023

@LoverOfTheOcean hey ocean! I have been doing alright! Recently had a competitive exam that I had to appear for and so I was less active, but now that it is over I'm on here again! In somewhat steady waters because a relative of mine was admitted to the hospital and so that was very very stressful for all of us, on top of the exam! Thank you for being a strong pillar for support for me ❤️

I'm sorry to know that the doctor didn't find a clear cause for it. What would be your best guess about the fainting incident on why it happened? I hope you are able to build back the deficiency!


That sounds amazing! How were the concerts? Awwww i can understand it went by too fast! I used to be a crazy Harry Styles fan at one point! I don't know if I told you. He was like my very first celebrity crush 😛

Denny, I got you! And I am glad you were able to reschedule a date with him again. How did it go? And did you find him to be safe? The last date I went to was like a year ago lol, my love life is in pure mess. It's not even a mess, it's not there. Non-existent! 😂

That's amazing!! Hope you enjoy watching it again with Denny! I understand EMDR, as they make you recall your bad experiences. Of course I understand the stress and tensions from it. It's so hard to do! I have my full empathy for you!

That's very very hot! In here it's super hot too. Ranges from 35-40°C unless it's raining. And it did rain today which is why it's been a bit cooler!

It's okay to miss him and okay to long for care and comfort. You deserve it from someone really good! You can feel free to vent about him at any point. It took me a full month to get over the crying phase after my breakup, and then after that it took me some more months to stop thinking about him completely. But all this because he left without an explanation, so I had no ways to contact him or help the situation, so I had to just move on!

Right now I am trying to focus more on self care because worries, exams, and poor health of family members have gotten me really down and low. I want to maintain my energy levels! Thank you for your kindness and companionship. I await your reply ❤️

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LoverOfTheOcean July 10th, 2023

@navyAcai8433 Hi Navy! That must've been very stressful indeed! I hope your relative is doing better now. I'm always here for you if you want to talk about it and let everything out💙 How did your exam go? Did you get your grade back already?

I really don't know what caused the pain and the fainting 😅 Just hope it won't get back and happen again. The concerts were amazing, I still wanna go back haha. Ahh I don't recall you telling me that, I remember my first celebrity crush was Joe Jonas 😂 ngl it was fun being a fangirl haha.

The date went really well, we went for lunch first and walked around the city before going to the movie (which was great again, I can't wait untill the next one comes out). It was really fun and we saw each other yesterday again (and the day before that🙈). We watched the first 2 Harry Potter movies and got pizza for dinner and went to eat ice cream at some place. I did spent the night at his place and we did kiss, nothing else though. I don't want it to go too fast, y'know. It's okay if it's non-existent, who knows someone might show up out of the blue 😉 In the meantime I hope you're having fun with friends and can enjoy your life as much as you can💙

Rain after some very hot days are the best! I don't know why, but I love the smell that comes after a rainy day.

Thank you for saying that, I really appreciate it 😊 That must've been hard and painful, for him to leave without explanation. I hope your over him now, you deserve someone waayyyy better that him. Someone who's willing to support you and communicate with you. Good to hear you're focussing on self care! Take all the time you need💙 It is important to maintain your energy levels. I hope your summer will be less stressful, so you can enjoy having fun instead. Love to hear from you whenever you're ready 💙

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navyAcai8433 OP July 10th, 2023

@LoverOfTheOcean they're at the hospital recovering while in this time I have had an injury myself which has been super painful. The exam was okay but I'm not dependent on it for my future, I'm thinking to go into this teacher training thing so that I can get into a teaching job soon!

I hope the fainting issue doesn't return again and if you got meds then they would be super helpful to keep you going! And awwww I'm so happy to hear about you and the guy, that's so sweet 💙 he seems sweet and nice so far which is good and he shouldn't mess up this good thing at all! I'm glad you have someone better than you who had.

I have an interview soon and a doctor appointment. Wish me luck! And also, don't forget me within all the good things you have going on. I have my best wishes for your love life and your life overall 💙 looking forward from you Ocean!

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LoverOfTheOcean July 11th, 2023

@navyAcai8433 oh no what happened? Hope your recovery is going well! Sending healing vibes your way💙

That sounds wonderful, a teaching job! You should definitely go for it, if you enjoy it!

Yeah about the guy... He texted me today. He said that he was thinking about last weekend, and that he found the silences between us hard. Even though I told him from the start that I am dealing with social anxiety, am shy and not much of a talker... I'm upset now, and confused. Because during the weekend we had fun and he didn't seem to be bothered about it. And he even told me before our first date, when I told him about being shy and not much of a talker, that he could see through that. But I guess he couldn't... But ngl, I thought there was something between us, and maybe that's because I'm a hopeful person but still. It sucks. He doesn't know whether he wants to meet up again or not. I think he doesn't though. Or so it sounded like. I'm very tired of all this tbh... Why is dating so hard?

Good luck on your interview and doctors appointment!! I hope everything goes well. Sending you lots of luck 💙

I won't forget you💙 you make me feel like I'm not alone in life and that you'll be there for me, and I appreciate that so much! Thank you for that! I have my best wishes for you and your life overall as well💙

Talk to you soon, Navy!

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navyAcai8433 OP July 11th, 2023

@LoverOfTheOcean I must have overworked it or something around those lines! It's been really painful for the past 15 days and ongoing ☹️

That's really terrible news because I was not hoping that this guy will mess up. He looks like bad news to me because dating is hard, people leave each other for very shallow reasons but I guess he found it easiest to blame the silences and social anxiety. People give the most easiest to find reasons to each other during these moments, so don't even take it personally! Also, I would be the one calling it quits after he made something up to be an issue and I feel it's such a disappointment after everything. I know you will be sad, I know your heart... and trust me I can feel your pain!

As for your good wishes, I really do appreciate them and I send positive and healing vibes right back to you! I hope your days have been going okay otherwise 💙💙

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LoverOfTheOcean July 12th, 2023

@navyAcai8433 thay sounds painful. If you think you overworked it, it might help giving it some rest? If I'm not mistaken you're going to the doctor, I hope they find something or give you something to ease the pain. I hope you recover soon.

Yeah, I was hoping that too. It's easier said than done, the taking it personally... I'm trying though. It does feel like that. I just want to be with someone who accepts me for who I am. Who I can have fun with nonetheless. And someone who's willing to support me through my highs and lows. But yeah, it still sucks atm, ngl.

Thank you for your message as always and your good wishes 💙💙 I'm pretty sure the next few day will be hard on me, but I did make plans to go play beachvolleyball with some of my volleyball team and I'm going to the movies with a good friend on Friday. So luckily I have some things to look forward to. Love hearing from you as always💙

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navyAcai8433 OP July 12th, 2023

@LoverOfTheOcean yes I am giving it rest as much as possible, and I saw the doctor and it seems to be an issue with muscles and so on, not the bone thankfully! I am advised to not use my right hand too much.

How are you coping now? You are very deserving of someone who wants you for you and wants to be there long term. I really hope this time can be easier for you. Volleyball and movie plans sound amazing! Have you tried anything for self care lately? Maybe going back to your love for your plants and other hobbies can be helpful.

I have an interview in a few hours so I am feeling anxious. I cannot stomach another disappointment if this goes badly. The results of it will be out on 25th so it's not like I will be relieved of my anxiety anytime soon. Hope I can keep it in control and suck it up during the interview 😛

Need your good wishes and prayers, Ocean, my lovely friend!! I look forward from you 💙

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LoverOfTheOcean July 12th, 2023

@navyAcai8433 good that you're resting it as much as possible! Muscle issues can be very painful, but luckily indeed that nothing's broken. Hope your hand will heal soon💙

I'm very tired atm. Work was very busy, but nice cause it got my mind off things. Cried some more today though when I got home, and got on ***. Found a dating coach who has interesting views, so spent most of the past hours scrolling their profile 😅 it was quite interesting and gave me some new perspectives. I am looking forward to volleyball and a the movie, though slightly anxious for volleyball. Not entirely sure why though... As for self care, I have been trying to get back to journalling. Mostly therapy related but still, it's helpful to reflect.

Good luck on the interview!! I'm sure you do well, just be yourself 💙 And if it doesn't work out, than that's their loss. I can understand it's anxious to wait for a response. Wishing you all the best and luck for your interview and life overall 💙💙 I'm sure you'll make it!

Always looking forward to hear from you and I'm very grateful I can call you my friend💙

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LoverOfTheOcean July 13th, 2023

I just realised it censored the app I mentioned, but it's that one app where you post photo's and reels and stuff 😅 basically mindless scrolling hahah.

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courageousDime1604 July 14th, 2023

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navyAcai8433 OP July 16th, 2023

@LoverOfTheOcean so nice to hear from you! I am sorry that you cried. It breaks my heart to hear.. how have you been coping now? Surely dating coaches have some good advice here and there, and it can open up your perspectives 💙

What makes you feel anxious about the volleyball? Let me know how it goes though, because it is seemingly so much fun!

My interview went well actually, I wouldn't lie. The results are out in the 25th, so I anxiously await a good result from it. And if not, as you said, it's their loss and I have to keep going. That's the only way of life!

Yes I get you, the app where we watch reels and keep scrolling lol totally understood 😉 hope you are okay, and safe and getting better. I am sending you hugs (if comfortable) and lots of love. Looking forward from you 💙

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LoverOfTheOcean July 17th, 2023

@navyAcai8433 Hi Navy! I'm doing slightly better. Haven't really cried since I think, but do sort of feel like it? I've been talking to someone new and idk. He's very enthusiastic and we have a lot in common, but idk I sort of feel overwhelmed? Like he's a big time texter and normally I've always been the one who'd reply very fast, but he does that too. And idk why, but it just makes me feel like my chest is heavy? It's not a bad thing he replies fast, right? He's also already called me nice and sweet and that he feels that there's something between us. And for some reason it makes me feel anxious, cause the last guy I told you about was like that too and, well, you know the rest. And I definitely don't want things to move too fast, like my last relationship... and it sort of... does... feel a bit like that? I do want to meet this guy in person though, to see how that goes. I just don't really know how I feel about it. I don't want to get my hopes up high again, cause that has hurt me before. I'm just not very familiar with someone being like this to me... Besides talking to him I'm still swiping, though idk if that's a great idea...

As for the volleyball anxiety, it was more about going there for the first time I think? Like I knew the place, but it's not where we usually train. But it went well and I had a lot of fun and felt satisfied afterwards, so that's good 😊

Great to hear your interview went well! I'm rooting for you💙 Hope you're doing alright, and spending the days doing something you enjoy! Sending you hugs and love as well. And I'm keeping my fingers crossed until you have the results back 🤞🏻 How have you been spending your days? Love to hear from you as always 💙

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navyAcai8433 OP July 27th, 2023

@LoverOfTheOcean I am really so sorry that you cried. That is heartbreaking! Honestly, I don't know what these guys really want. They want to hang out, yet they don't want to commit or take things ahead, I don't really understand. Please know that whatever happened was not your fault. Let me know how it is going with the new guy! And yes, it is okay to take your time and see other guys (if you want) because you are not committed yet.

I'm happy to know that the volleyball went well and you felt better. How have things been going on right now? Have you been able to cope better?

As far as the interview results, it was quite shocking (in a sad way) that my name did not show up in the first list of selection. They have only 100-105 seats and the first list already includes 101 names. If there is vacancy, there is a possibility of a second list.......... and I feel that I should not be dependent on that. It is heartbreaking because I answered all questions and they were very impressed. I had a good feeling when I left the interview and I have been studying in this college for five years (during two different degrees). This has been a great setback and I have taken this rejection very personally. I have started trying for jobs now, because I felt unworthy of the entire degree that I was applying for.

I am looking forward to hear about your mental states, situations, how your plants are doing and everything else! I hope everything is going okay 💙

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LoverOfTheOcean July 28th, 2023

@navyAcai8433 yeah, exactly! It just leaves me so confused, like dude make up your mind. Thanks for saying it's not my fault! I really appreciate that! I've got a date with someone tomorrow. Different guy I told you about though (we still need to set a date). I'm not sure if I'm interested in this guy though. He's nice though, but I'm not feeling it? We'll see how it goes tomorrow though.

As for the other guy, we've been talking a lot and in the past week or so he's called me sweetheart and has told me he loves me 3 times already... We've videochatted once. Like after the first time he said it, I made it clear (or so I thought) that it's too early to say that. We barely know each other. We haven't even met eachother in real life. It kinda reminds me of my ex, he was quick to tell me he loved me too... except he said after we've met a few times. Speaking of my ex, I'm housesitting for my aunt and uncle and taking care of their pets. Thing is, last year I did the same, but my ex was with me in the house. I've been here since Sunday. I've had 2 big cries already, because of all the memories flooding back. Idk it's still somewhat painful? It still hurts that he moved on so easily and quickly? I know he's still with his new girlfriend and I just... I just can't seem to shake him off my mind? Like I don't understand how his mindset could change so rapidly?

As for therapy, I'm making progress. My therapist also asked if I wanted to do drama therapy, which terrifies me. It's a one on one thing but still, I don't know what to expect and the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. I did say yes to it knowing that I have to leave my comfort zone in order to grow as a person. And knowing that if I didn't say yes than I never would. So yeah, I got a week off work now, and I'm grabbing lunch next week with my best friends. I'm excited for it 😊 Also I kinda got a new plant 😬 the rest is doing alright as well.

I'm sorry to hear they didn't pick you 😔 I can understand it sucks thinking you did great during the interview and than hearing this. I know it's easier said than done, but try not to take it personally. You gave the best you could. You can always try again? And there's more roads that lead to Rome, maybe you can find another way to get where you want to be? You're not unworthy of anything, and definitely not unworthy of the degree you applied to. You're a great person, and deserve all the good things! Don't give up! I can understand this has impact on your motivation though. I hope you find a job that suits you in the meantime. If only temporary.

Treat yourself to something you like, may that be food or a movie or an activity you enjoy doing (like dancing, even if it's in your room to the music you love). I'm sending you positive vibes and all the love I have 💙💙 How's it going with your injury? I hope it's healing well. Let me know how you're coping and please don't hesitate to message me when you feel down (or happy). And don't forget: you are worthy 💙💙💙 I'm here for you!

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intellectualBeing2393 July 29th, 2023

Hey guys is this a forum

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LoverOfTheOcean July 29th, 2023

Hey @intellectualBeing2393 this is more a thread where @navyAcai8433 and I to talk to each other and support each other, as friends do. But your welcome to join us if Navy is okay with that?

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navyAcai8433 OP July 29th, 2023

@LoverOfTheOcean @intellectualBeing2393 it's absolutely fine with me 🌸

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intellectualBeing2393 July 29th, 2023

That's lovely. Just curious, you guys aren't able to chat in DMs? Maybe because one of you has a listener account and the other is a member?

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navyAcai8433 OP July 29th, 2023

@intellectualBeing2393 tbh because we are both on member accounts. If any of us have a listener account, we can DM each other!

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navyAcai8433 OP July 29th, 2023

@LoverOfTheOcean I totally understand the confusion. I hope the date goes well!! Let me know! And I do agree that we are able to know someone better when we meet them. I have had like few experiences in dating and they have been tragic 😫 I can share with you as fun stories if you like but that's about it. Nothing really went ahead from that! 🙃

Yes I do think it is too early, maybe he feels things too quickly or wants to rush it? It's okay to tell him that you're not on the same page yet! Love is a strong word, and people shouldn't throw it around like that. How have you been feeling with this guy?

I'm so sorry you have been feeling this way. The last breakup you had was a very difficult one, and he wasn't the best with you with what he did. I hope you can heal, my friend. That is my wish for you, that you can finally heal!! 🥺

What is drama therapy? I am not sure I heard it before. It sounds like two people acting out situations to re-live them or something of that sort. If that is so, I can sense why it would be helpful! You know ocean, I too deal with past memories of things that were very difficult for me, probably traumatic too. They come up in my dreams. Maybe because I never went for therapy seriously, just did a few counselling sessions at one point, so maybe my subconscious holds more than I know.

Yes ocean, that part reaaaaallly suuucks. Maybe there was a mismatch in my subject choice, which is why they did not pick me? I studied marketing in graduation and this course was in economics, so that's the only logical and non-personal reason I can think of. Yet this rejection has made me more lost towards what I should even do in life next and how long it will take for me to finally do something. I really want this wait to end.

I won't give up, my friend and I am really really grateful that I have someone like you who can remind me of the same.... it's a blessing. You are very appreciated, ocean.... thanks a lot 💙

I went and bought some cosmetics today, an eye liner and a lipstick that my mom and I will share, and my mom got an eyebrow pencil for herself. Going out with her lightened my mood a little bit, though the worry about my future/career and finances have been constant

My injury is better! There is a dull pain there, which is on my right hand wrist but I can function with it, just if I don't put pressure on it then I am good to go. Thank you for remembering details about me friend, and thank you for your concern 💙💙

Did I hear you got a new plant! That's amazing news!! And I am glad rest everything is going alright. Let me know how your weekend is going and if any developments have happened lately! Looking forward from you Ocean 💙🤗


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LoverOfTheOcean July 31st, 2023

@navyAcai8433 so the date went alright. He was nice, though some awkwardness on both sides, but hey that was expected right? hahah. I kinda apologized at the end for not being very talkative, and he said that it was alright. That he could see it is a character trait of mine. So that was nice to hear, I think. I'm not entirely sure if he's the one for me, but maybe because we've only met once I don't feel it yet? I did have a good time though, through all the nervousness and quietness, I think we can learn from experiences like this though. You're welcomed to share your stories with me, if you want. I'm sure you'll have a great date one day!

I don't think he wants to rush it? Like, he isn't comfortable with meeting up yet. Something about his past is holding him back I think, and him thinking people are judging him. But also he's told me that he hasn't experienced love before. So maybe that's why he said that so quick? Idk I might be reaching here. I think I've made it clear now that it's too early to say that. There's just, moments where I really enjoy talking to him, but other moments all I can think is "Is this all that we're gonna talk about?". Like we have nice conversations don't get me wrong. He does like sending selfies and I'm not a big fan of it tbh (sending selfies of me I mean). It's a big step out of my comfortzone. It sort of feels like he tries to push me into sending selfies that eventually lead to n*des... Which I'm definitely not sending, anyone, period. I don't do that. I've told him before, but I feel like he still tries? Maybe he still does that because we sometimes engage in s*xting. (please don't judge, it can be fun sometimes ngl) It can be fun at the times, but idk, when he's still sort of flirty the next morning I'm like ugh. Can we have a normal conversation now? So I'm not sure about him either. I don't know if I've said this before, but he sometimes reminds me of my ex. Saying stuff like "you're the best that's happend to me", or the gaming bit, the s*x driven urge on his side. It kinda terrifies me tbh, but somehow I'm drawn to it at the same time?

Thank you for your wish💙 You're so kind and I really like talking to you! I've been feeling better. I've had some time for myself, which was nice and also some good talks with my mom. As for drama therapy, I'm not sure what it is exactly actually. So I don't really know what to expect. But my therapist says it would probably do me good. So we'll see. I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with difficult past memories. It is very possible that your subconcious still holds on to those memories. If they're bothering you a lot in daily life, you can always consider to get back to counselling or therapy. There's no shame to either. And if it helps, than that's only good. But I hope those dreams won't take over your life.

I completely understand Navy! The waiting for things to change while you're trying your best for things to change is the worst. And sometimes it feels like eternity. I always tell myself a lot can happen in a year. You might be stuck now, but next year you might be doing something you like or even love doing. I'm sure you'll find something 😊

That's good to hear that spending time with your mom helps lighten your mood! I can understand your worries are still there. Try to focus on what you can do in the present (easier said than done, I know). I'm sure you're life will get better! Like your wrist is getting better, it's healing. Which takes time, so does change, change takes time. Also I'm very happy to hear your wrist is doing better💙

I'm sending good vibes your way, and all the luck!! Hope things are gonna go well for you. And hope you're not hard on yourself, but giving yourself the love you deserve. I'll await your response as always 💙💙

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navyAcai8433 OP August 16th, 2023

@LoveroftheOcean ocean 💙💙 I'm so happy to see your message! I hope you are well! I'm glad your date with him went alright and I agree, some amounts of awkwardness is very very normal. Ocean I think your being shy or quiet is not a fault and as your friend, I want you to feel more confident! You are absolutely alright and you shouldn't have to apologise for being you 💙

I understand absolutely. If you enjoy s*xting that is not something to judge at all yet he shouldn't have the expectation that it will lead to some sexy picture exchanges. I hope he is understanding of your boundaries, and if he isn't then I think he will not be right for you. I hope to hear more about how it is going with him and how you are feeling about it!

As for me, recently I was busy with job applications and I still have to make more applications and try my best there. I started taking some classes privately to crack exams that will help me get a job and/or study further so I think I am making progress where I can. Swimming has been on a hold, it has been very rainy where I am and I just can't jump into a pool of cold water 🥶

Thank you so much for your kind words! The bad dreams have reduced but I totally have vivid dreams of the same things I felt good or bad about in the same day or thought about. It's very weird. Sometimes I feel like keeping a dream journal lol! How has therapy been going for you, my friend? I hope you have been feeling more easy and light-hearted, or so is my wish for you 💙💙

My wrist is actually completely okay at this time. I tried to rest is for 5 days or so, like no work with that hand at all and it started healing faster. I am quite grateful for that. Physical pain is no fun!

Thank you friend!! I really love your positive encouragement towards me and I am really really grateful for you! Thank you for all your support and I look forward from you!

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LoverOfTheOcean August 19th, 2023

@navyAcai8433 Navy 💙💙 I'm so happy to hear from you! There's a lot that happened lately, I'll tell you in a bit. How's it going with the applications? Did you hear anything back yet? Great job on taking some classes! I'm proud of you!!💙 You're definitely making progress! Sucks you can't go swimming, but that's very understandable, I wouldn't enjoy cold water either. Good to hear the bad dreams have reduced! I'd definitely encourage to write about your dreams if you can remember them! Or even just about how they made you feel.

Ohh that's amazing to hear you're wrist is doing okay! I'm happy for you 😊

Okay so I've got a lot on my mind lately. First of all, have been on a second date, it was alright. We had fun, though I sort of find out that it was feeling more and more like a friendship. Like even through texts, we only talk about a small amount of topics (work, of we've got plans for whatever day, stuff like that). It's just very surface level, not much depth and I'm still not feeling it tbh. He does want to go on a third date, and I'll say yes, but mostly so I can tell him face to face that I'm not feeling it like a romantic relationship and that I don't see this going any further... As for the other guy. The amount of said "i love you"s is now 13 I think hahah😅. He knows I'm not gonna say it back yet, but says it anyways. But despite that I feel myself more and more drawn to him every day. I can talk about anything with him and he does make me feel like it's okay to be me. And I'm not really nervous to ask him questions or talk about topics I find important. Only thing that I find hard atm is that we haven't seen each other in real life yet. I hope we get to meet this month though. As for the sexy pictures, he some how did manage to get me out of my comfort zone and send selfies every now and than, which does makes me more confident about myself tbh. I mean they're sometimes even sexy imo (not *** though, don't do that like I said).

Oh OH I've got some big news too. I'm getting my own apartment!!🥳 I'm very excited and terrified at the same time. It also came very unexpected hahah. But it's a nice apartment close to my job, so I'm very happy. Ngl it's also quite stressful, since it's all new and I have to buy stuff that I've never had to buy before (this is the first time I'll be having my own place). I'm sure everything will turn out fine. It's just stress and more stress due to dating and stress from work (keeping up with updates about products), stress from therapy. Which I'm supposed to do an assignment sort of for. But I've been procrastinating 🙃 which is not good and avoidant which gives me more stress. And than it all starts over again. Continuous loop of stress. I'm just afraid I'll mess up, even though my therapist tells me I can't mess up. I want to take another look at it tomorrow, hopefully I can make some progress then. And another's continuous loop of stress: my period doesn't seem to want to come through. Which gives me stress as well, which probably caused my period to not get through, which stresses me out and so forth... And than all the different kinds of stress come together and then I just end up doing nothing about it. How fun🙃

Thank you for saying you want me to feel more confident, I really appreciate that! You're an amazing person and I'm grateful I can tell you whatever's on my mind. Thank you for being here💙 Sending you all the luck and positive vibes your way!💙💙 Looking forward to hear from you as always!

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