Ocean and Navy's corner :)
Hey @LoverOfTheOcean it's Navy, glad we get to chat here! Looking forward π
Hey @navyAcai8433 woah that was fast! :)
How has your day been so far?
@LoverOfTheOcean yes it was!! I was like.. not losing this opportunity to make an online friend! π£ My day is going okay, not really planned much. I usually go for swimming in the evenings but they're closed today. How has your day been going?
@navyAcai8433 I'm a very patient person, you wouldn't have lost me. π
Oh I love swimming! Sad that they're closed today though. You go swimming everyday if they're open? I recently got piercings and now I'm basically not allowed to swim for some time sadly...
My day has been alright, had to work. It wasn't really a busy day though, it's been raining a lot. So, understandable that there weren't many customers.
@LoverOfTheOcean sounds like a really bad sign, ocean. I'm really sorry to hear about it. Especially if you were more on the empathetic side then this relationship has been very hurtful for you. Of course I understand he is not to blame for everything, but I understand that the fact that he gave you false hope or lied basically, this was a very bad move, because this increases expectations you can have towards him. This is a responsibility for him. Now if you didn't expect anything from him, that was due to your own goodness, but people do and it's normal to as he's giving you hope after all. What happened in reality was the opposite, as he used you and slept with you. Overall terrible situation and I am super sorry this happened with you! Glad you are not talking to him now though. Let me know how that is going! π
Awww I'm sorry to hear your date got cancelled! What did you end up doing instead on that day?
Thank you for your kind words ocean! I'm so grateful for them! π
I actually didn't like the movie "Daddy's home" so much. I thought it would be funny but I was feeling so bad for the man and I was so serious the entire time! I also felt like they extended the plot to increase view time. The story would have been over long time ago otherwise :p
How have your plants been by the way? Hope you are remembering to water them! β₯οΈ
Dance class was great! As per usual and this week I am not going swimming since I got my period βΉοΈ I am working on some assignments that were pending for a while (I'm a verrryy last minute person when it comes to all this!!) so that's how I am spending my time. Thankfully over the last one or two days I got a lot of work done, and there's some more to go. We'll see how that goes!
Thank you for your kind and good wishes! I hope your days are bringing you peace and joy as well β₯οΈβ₯οΈ
Oh yeah!! You told me if the concert. How was it?! Awwww I'm so glad you had fun!! Did they play some of your favorite songs too? Thankfully your ex is out of the picture, as I think you enjoyed more than you would if you were with someone who is only making you sad and cry right now. He isn't good for you! And I am here with you in this journey as well, you can count on me and I will be here as best as I can for you!
How have your days been lately? Have you been taking care of you? Looking forward as always β₯οΈβ₯οΈ
@LoverOfTheOcean hey ocean! I have been doing alright! Recently had a competitive exam that I had to appear for and so I was less active, but now that it is over I'm on here again! In somewhat steady waters because a relative of mine was admitted to the hospital and so that was very very stressful for all of us, on top of the exam! Thank you for being a strong pillar for support for me β€οΈ
I'm sorry to know that the doctor didn't find a clear cause for it. What would be your best guess about the fainting incident on why it happened? I hope you are able to build back the deficiency!
That sounds amazing! How were the concerts? Awwww i can understand it went by too fast! I used to be a crazy Harry Styles fan at one point! I don't know if I told you. He was like my very first celebrity crush π
Denny, I got you! And I am glad you were able to reschedule a date with him again. How did it go? And did you find him to be safe? The last date I went to was like a year ago lol, my love life is in pure mess. It's not even a mess, it's not there. Non-existent! π
That's amazing!! Hope you enjoy watching it again with Denny! I understand EMDR, as they make you recall your bad experiences. Of course I understand the stress and tensions from it. It's so hard to do! I have my full empathy for you!
That's very very hot! In here it's super hot too. Ranges from 35-40Β°C unless it's raining. And it did rain today which is why it's been a bit cooler!
It's okay to miss him and okay to long for care and comfort. You deserve it from someone really good! You can feel free to vent about him at any point. It took me a full month to get over the crying phase after my breakup, and then after that it took me some more months to stop thinking about him completely. But all this because he left without an explanation, so I had no ways to contact him or help the situation, so I had to just move on!
Right now I am trying to focus more on self care because worries, exams, and poor health of family members have gotten me really down and low. I want to maintain my energy levels! Thank you for your kindness and companionship. I await your reply β€οΈ
@LoverOfTheOcean they're at the hospital recovering while in this time I have had an injury myself which has been super painful. The exam was okay but I'm not dependent on it for my future, I'm thinking to go into this teacher training thing so that I can get into a teaching job soon!
I hope the fainting issue doesn't return again and if you got meds then they would be super helpful to keep you going! And awwww I'm so happy to hear about you and the guy, that's so sweet π he seems sweet and nice so far which is good and he shouldn't mess up this good thing at all! I'm glad you have someone better than you who had.
I have an interview soon and a doctor appointment. Wish me luck! And also, don't forget me within all the good things you have going on. I have my best wishes for your love life and your life overall π looking forward from you Ocean!
@navyAcai8433 oh no what happened? Hope your recovery is going well! Sending healing vibes your wayπ
That sounds wonderful, a teaching job! You should definitely go for it, if you enjoy it!
Yeah about the guy... He texted me today. He said that he was thinking about last weekend, and that he found the silences between us hard. Even though I told him from the start that I am dealing with social anxiety, am shy and not much of a talker... I'm upset now, and confused. Because during the weekend we had fun and he didn't seem to be bothered about it. And he even told me before our first date, when I told him about being shy and not much of a talker, that he could see through that. But I guess he couldn't... But ngl, I thought there was something between us, and maybe that's because I'm a hopeful person but still. It sucks. He doesn't know whether he wants to meet up again or not. I think he doesn't though. Or so it sounded like. I'm very tired of all this tbh... Why is dating so hard?
Good luck on your interview and doctors appointment!! I hope everything goes well. Sending you lots of luck π
I won't forget youπ you make me feel like I'm not alone in life and that you'll be there for me, and I appreciate that so much! Thank you for that! I have my best wishes for you and your life overall as wellπ
Talk to you soon, Navy!
@LoverOfTheOcean I must have overworked it or something around those lines! It's been really painful for the past 15 days and ongoing βΉοΈ
That's really terrible news because I was not hoping that this guy will mess up. He looks like bad news to me because dating is hard, people leave each other for very shallow reasons but I guess he found it easiest to blame the silences and social anxiety. People give the most easiest to find reasons to each other during these moments, so don't even take it personally! Also, I would be the one calling it quits after he made something up to be an issue and I feel it's such a disappointment after everything. I know you will be sad, I know your heart... and trust me I can feel your pain!
As for your good wishes, I really do appreciate them and I send positive and healing vibes right back to you! I hope your days have been going okay otherwise ππ
@navyAcai8433 thay sounds painful. If you think you overworked it, it might help giving it some rest? If I'm not mistaken you're going to the doctor, I hope they find something or give you something to ease the pain. I hope you recover soon.
Yeah, I was hoping that too. It's easier said than done, the taking it personally... I'm trying though. It does feel like that. I just want to be with someone who accepts me for who I am. Who I can have fun with nonetheless. And someone who's willing to support me through my highs and lows. But yeah, it still sucks atm, ngl.
Thank you for your message as always and your good wishes ππ I'm pretty sure the next few day will be hard on me, but I did make plans to go play beachvolleyball with some of my volleyball team and I'm going to the movies with a good friend on Friday. So luckily I have some things to look forward to. Love hearing from you as alwaysπ
@LoverOfTheOcean yes I am giving it rest as much as possible, and I saw the doctor and it seems to be an issue with muscles and so on, not the bone thankfully! I am advised to not use my right hand too much.
How are you coping now? You are very deserving of someone who wants you for you and wants to be there long term. I really hope this time can be easier for you. Volleyball and movie plans sound amazing! Have you tried anything for self care lately? Maybe going back to your love for your plants and other hobbies can be helpful.
I have an interview in a few hours so I am feeling anxious. I cannot stomach another disappointment if this goes badly. The results of it will be out on 25th so it's not like I will be relieved of my anxiety anytime soon. Hope I can keep it in control and suck it up during the interview π
Need your good wishes and prayers, Ocean, my lovely friend!! I look forward from you π
@navyAcai8433 good that you're resting it as much as possible! Muscle issues can be very painful, but luckily indeed that nothing's broken. Hope your hand will heal soonπ
I'm very tired atm. Work was very busy, but nice cause it got my mind off things. Cried some more today though when I got home, and got on ***. Found a dating coach who has interesting views, so spent most of the past hours scrolling their profile π it was quite interesting and gave me some new perspectives. I am looking forward to volleyball and a the movie, though slightly anxious for volleyball. Not entirely sure why though... As for self care, I have been trying to get back to journalling. Mostly therapy related but still, it's helpful to reflect.
Good luck on the interview!! I'm sure you do well, just be yourself π And if it doesn't work out, than that's their loss. I can understand it's anxious to wait for a response. Wishing you all the best and luck for your interview and life overall ππ I'm sure you'll make it!
Always looking forward to hear from you and I'm very grateful I can call you my friendπ
I just realised it censored the app I mentioned, but it's that one app where you post photo's and reels and stuff π basically mindless scrolling hahah.
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@LoverOfTheOcean so nice to hear from you! I am sorry that you cried. It breaks my heart to hear.. how have you been coping now? Surely dating coaches have some good advice here and there, and it can open up your perspectives π
What makes you feel anxious about the volleyball? Let me know how it goes though, because it is seemingly so much fun!
My interview went well actually, I wouldn't lie. The results are out in the 25th, so I anxiously await a good result from it. And if not, as you said, it's their loss and I have to keep going. That's the only way of life!
Yes I get you, the app where we watch reels and keep scrolling lol totally understood π hope you are okay, and safe and getting better. I am sending you hugs (if comfortable) and lots of love. Looking forward from you π
@navyAcai8433 Hi Navy! I'm doing slightly better. Haven't really cried since I think, but do sort of feel like it? I've been talking to someone new and idk. He's very enthusiastic and we have a lot in common, but idk I sort of feel overwhelmed? Like he's a big time texter and normally I've always been the one who'd reply very fast, but he does that too. And idk why, but it just makes me feel like my chest is heavy? It's not a bad thing he replies fast, right? He's also already called me nice and sweet and that he feels that there's something between us. And for some reason it makes me feel anxious, cause the last guy I told you about was like that too and, well, you know the rest. And I definitely don't want things to move too fast, like my last relationship... and it sort of... does... feel a bit like that? I do want to meet this guy in person though, to see how that goes. I just don't really know how I feel about it. I don't want to get my hopes up high again, cause that has hurt me before. I'm just not very familiar with someone being like this to me... Besides talking to him I'm still swiping, though idk if that's a great idea...
As for the volleyball anxiety, it was more about going there for the first time I think? Like I knew the place, but it's not where we usually train. But it went well and I had a lot of fun and felt satisfied afterwards, so that's good π
Great to hear your interview went well! I'm rooting for youπ Hope you're doing alright, and spending the days doing something you enjoy! Sending you hugs and love as well. And I'm keeping my fingers crossed until you have the results back π€π» How have you been spending your days? Love to hear from you as always π
@LoverOfTheOcean I am really so sorry that you cried. That is heartbreaking! Honestly, I don't know what these guys really want. They want to hang out, yet they don't want to commit or take things ahead, I don't really understand. Please know that whatever happened was not your fault. Let me know how it is going with the new guy! And yes, it is okay to take your time and see other guys (if you want) because you are not committed yet.
I'm happy to know that the volleyball went well and you felt better. How have things been going on right now? Have you been able to cope better?
As far as the interview results, it was quite shocking (in a sad way) that my name did not show up in the first list of selection. They have only 100-105 seats and the first list already includes 101 names. If there is vacancy, there is a possibility of a second list.......... and I feel that I should not be dependent on that. It is heartbreaking because I answered all questions and they were very impressed. I had a good feeling when I left the interview and I have been studying in this college for five years (during two different degrees). This has been a great setback and I have taken this rejection very personally. I have started trying for jobs now, because I felt unworthy of the entire degree that I was applying for.
I am looking forward to hear about your mental states, situations, how your plants are doing and everything else! I hope everything is going okay π
@navyAcai8433 yeah, exactly! It just leaves me so confused, like dude make up your mind. Thanks for saying it's not my fault! I really appreciate that! I've got a date with someone tomorrow. Different guy I told you about though (we still need to set a date). I'm not sure if I'm interested in this guy though. He's nice though, but I'm not feeling it? We'll see how it goes tomorrow though.
As for the other guy, we've been talking a lot and in the past week or so he's called me sweetheart and has told me he loves me 3 times already... We've videochatted once. Like after the first time he said it, I made it clear (or so I thought) that it's too early to say that. We barely know each other. We haven't even met eachother in real life. It kinda reminds me of my ex, he was quick to tell me he loved me too... except he said after we've met a few times. Speaking of my ex, I'm housesitting for my aunt and uncle and taking care of their pets. Thing is, last year I did the same, but my ex was with me in the house. I've been here since Sunday. I've had 2 big cries already, because of all the memories flooding back. Idk it's still somewhat painful? It still hurts that he moved on so easily and quickly? I know he's still with his new girlfriend and I just... I just can't seem to shake him off my mind? Like I don't understand how his mindset could change so rapidly?
As for therapy, I'm making progress. My therapist also asked if I wanted to do drama therapy, which terrifies me. It's a one on one thing but still, I don't know what to expect and the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. I did say yes to it knowing that I have to leave my comfort zone in order to grow as a person. And knowing that if I didn't say yes than I never would. So yeah, I got a week off work now, and I'm grabbing lunch next week with my best friends. I'm excited for it π Also I kinda got a new plant π¬ the rest is doing alright as well.
I'm sorry to hear they didn't pick you π I can understand it sucks thinking you did great during the interview and than hearing this. I know it's easier said than done, but try not to take it personally. You gave the best you could. You can always try again? And there's more roads that lead to Rome, maybe you can find another way to get where you want to be? You're not unworthy of anything, and definitely not unworthy of the degree you applied to. You're a great person, and deserve all the good things! Don't give up! I can understand this has impact on your motivation though. I hope you find a job that suits you in the meantime. If only temporary.
Treat yourself to something you like, may that be food or a movie or an activity you enjoy doing (like dancing, even if it's in your room to the music you love). I'm sending you positive vibes and all the love I have ππ How's it going with your injury? I hope it's healing well. Let me know how you're coping and please don't hesitate to message me when you feel down (or happy). And don't forget: you are worthy πππ I'm here for you!
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@LoverOfTheOcean I totally understand the confusion. I hope the date goes well!! Let me know! And I do agree that we are able to know someone better when we meet them. I have had like few experiences in dating and they have been tragic π« I can share with you as fun stories if you like but that's about it. Nothing really went ahead from that! π
Yes I do think it is too early, maybe he feels things too quickly or wants to rush it? It's okay to tell him that you're not on the same page yet! Love is a strong word, and people shouldn't throw it around like that. How have you been feeling with this guy?
I'm so sorry you have been feeling this way. The last breakup you had was a very difficult one, and he wasn't the best with you with what he did. I hope you can heal, my friend. That is my wish for you, that you can finally heal!! π₯Ί
What is drama therapy? I am not sure I heard it before. It sounds like two people acting out situations to re-live them or something of that sort. If that is so, I can sense why it would be helpful! You know ocean, I too deal with past memories of things that were very difficult for me, probably traumatic too. They come up in my dreams. Maybe because I never went for therapy seriously, just did a few counselling sessions at one point, so maybe my subconscious holds more than I know.
Yes ocean, that part reaaaaallly suuucks. Maybe there was a mismatch in my subject choice, which is why they did not pick me? I studied marketing in graduation and this course was in economics, so that's the only logical and non-personal reason I can think of. Yet this rejection has made me more lost towards what I should even do in life next and how long it will take for me to finally do something. I really want this wait to end.
I won't give up, my friend and I am really really grateful that I have someone like you who can remind me of the same.... it's a blessing. You are very appreciated, ocean.... thanks a lot π
I went and bought some cosmetics today, an eye liner and a lipstick that my mom and I will share, and my mom got an eyebrow pencil for herself. Going out with her lightened my mood a little bit, though the worry about my future/career and finances have been constant
My injury is better! There is a dull pain there, which is on my right hand wrist but I can function with it, just if I don't put pressure on it then I am good to go. Thank you for remembering details about me friend, and thank you for your concern ππ
Did I hear you got a new plant! That's amazing news!! And I am glad rest everything is going alright. Let me know how your weekend is going and if any developments have happened lately! Looking forward from you Ocean ππ€
@navyAcai8433 so the date went alright. He was nice, though some awkwardness on both sides, but hey that was expected right? hahah. I kinda apologized at the end for not being very talkative, and he said that it was alright. That he could see it is a character trait of mine. So that was nice to hear, I think. I'm not entirely sure if he's the one for me, but maybe because we've only met once I don't feel it yet? I did have a good time though, through all the nervousness and quietness, I think we can learn from experiences like this though. You're welcomed to share your stories with me, if you want. I'm sure you'll have a great date one day!
I don't think he wants to rush it? Like, he isn't comfortable with meeting up yet. Something about his past is holding him back I think, and him thinking people are judging him. But also he's told me that he hasn't experienced love before. So maybe that's why he said that so quick? Idk I might be reaching here. I think I've made it clear now that it's too early to say that. There's just, moments where I really enjoy talking to him, but other moments all I can think is "Is this all that we're gonna talk about?". Like we have nice conversations don't get me wrong. He does like sending selfies and I'm not a big fan of it tbh (sending selfies of me I mean). It's a big step out of my comfortzone. It sort of feels like he tries to push me into sending selfies that eventually lead to n*des... Which I'm definitely not sending, anyone, period. I don't do that. I've told him before, but I feel like he still tries? Maybe he still does that because we sometimes engage in s*xting. (please don't judge, it can be fun sometimes ngl) It can be fun at the times, but idk, when he's still sort of flirty the next morning I'm like ugh. Can we have a normal conversation now? So I'm not sure about him either. I don't know if I've said this before, but he sometimes reminds me of my ex. Saying stuff like "you're the best that's happend to me", or the gaming bit, the s*x driven urge on his side. It kinda terrifies me tbh, but somehow I'm drawn to it at the same time?
Thank you for your wishπ You're so kind and I really like talking to you! I've been feeling better. I've had some time for myself, which was nice and also some good talks with my mom. As for drama therapy, I'm not sure what it is exactly actually. So I don't really know what to expect. But my therapist says it would probably do me good. So we'll see. I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with difficult past memories. It is very possible that your subconcious still holds on to those memories. If they're bothering you a lot in daily life, you can always consider to get back to counselling or therapy. There's no shame to either. And if it helps, than that's only good. But I hope those dreams won't take over your life.
I completely understand Navy! The waiting for things to change while you're trying your best for things to change is the worst. And sometimes it feels like eternity. I always tell myself a lot can happen in a year. You might be stuck now, but next year you might be doing something you like or even love doing. I'm sure you'll find something π
That's good to hear that spending time with your mom helps lighten your mood! I can understand your worries are still there. Try to focus on what you can do in the present (easier said than done, I know). I'm sure you're life will get better! Like your wrist is getting better, it's healing. Which takes time, so does change, change takes time. Also I'm very happy to hear your wrist is doing betterπ
I'm sending good vibes your way, and all the luck!! Hope things are gonna go well for you. And hope you're not hard on yourself, but giving yourself the love you deserve. I'll await your response as always ππ
@LoveroftheOcean ocean ππ I'm so happy to see your message! I hope you are well! I'm glad your date with him went alright and I agree, some amounts of awkwardness is very very normal. Ocean I think your being shy or quiet is not a fault and as your friend, I want you to feel more confident! You are absolutely alright and you shouldn't have to apologise for being you π
I understand absolutely. If you enjoy s*xting that is not something to judge at all yet he shouldn't have the expectation that it will lead to some sexy picture exchanges. I hope he is understanding of your boundaries, and if he isn't then I think he will not be right for you. I hope to hear more about how it is going with him and how you are feeling about it!
As for me, recently I was busy with job applications and I still have to make more applications and try my best there. I started taking some classes privately to crack exams that will help me get a job and/or study further so I think I am making progress where I can. Swimming has been on a hold, it has been very rainy where I am and I just can't jump into a pool of cold water π₯Ά
Thank you so much for your kind words! The bad dreams have reduced but I totally have vivid dreams of the same things I felt good or bad about in the same day or thought about. It's very weird. Sometimes I feel like keeping a dream journal lol! How has therapy been going for you, my friend? I hope you have been feeling more easy and light-hearted, or so is my wish for you ππ
My wrist is actually completely okay at this time. I tried to rest is for 5 days or so, like no work with that hand at all and it started healing faster. I am quite grateful for that. Physical pain is no fun!
Thank you friend!! I really love your positive encouragement towards me and I am really really grateful for you! Thank you for all your support and I look forward from you!
@navyAcai8433 Navy ππ I'm so happy to hear from you! There's a lot that happened lately, I'll tell you in a bit. How's it going with the applications? Did you hear anything back yet? Great job on taking some classes! I'm proud of you!!π You're definitely making progress! Sucks you can't go swimming, but that's very understandable, I wouldn't enjoy cold water either. Good to hear the bad dreams have reduced! I'd definitely encourage to write about your dreams if you can remember them! Or even just about how they made you feel.
Ohh that's amazing to hear you're wrist is doing okay! I'm happy for you π
Okay so I've got a lot on my mind lately. First of all, have been on a second date, it was alright. We had fun, though I sort of find out that it was feeling more and more like a friendship. Like even through texts, we only talk about a small amount of topics (work, of we've got plans for whatever day, stuff like that). It's just very surface level, not much depth and I'm still not feeling it tbh. He does want to go on a third date, and I'll say yes, but mostly so I can tell him face to face that I'm not feeling it like a romantic relationship and that I don't see this going any further... As for the other guy. The amount of said "i love you"s is now 13 I think hahahπ . He knows I'm not gonna say it back yet, but says it anyways. But despite that I feel myself more and more drawn to him every day. I can talk about anything with him and he does make me feel like it's okay to be me. And I'm not really nervous to ask him questions or talk about topics I find important. Only thing that I find hard atm is that we haven't seen each other in real life yet. I hope we get to meet this month though. As for the sexy pictures, he some how did manage to get me out of my comfort zone and send selfies every now and than, which does makes me more confident about myself tbh. I mean they're sometimes even sexy imo (not *** though, don't do that like I said).
Oh OH I've got some big news too. I'm getting my own apartment!!π₯³ I'm very excited and terrified at the same time. It also came very unexpected hahah. But it's a nice apartment close to my job, so I'm very happy. Ngl it's also quite stressful, since it's all new and I have to buy stuff that I've never had to buy before (this is the first time I'll be having my own place). I'm sure everything will turn out fine. It's just stress and more stress due to dating and stress from work (keeping up with updates about products), stress from therapy. Which I'm supposed to do an assignment sort of for. But I've been procrastinating π which is not good and avoidant which gives me more stress. And than it all starts over again. Continuous loop of stress. I'm just afraid I'll mess up, even though my therapist tells me I can't mess up. I want to take another look at it tomorrow, hopefully I can make some progress then. And another's continuous loop of stress: my period doesn't seem to want to come through. Which gives me stress as well, which probably caused my period to not get through, which stresses me out and so forth... And than all the different kinds of stress come together and then I just end up doing nothing about it. How funπ
Thank you for saying you want me to feel more confident, I really appreciate that! You're an amazing person and I'm grateful I can tell you whatever's on my mind. Thank you for being hereπ Sending you all the luck and positive vibes your way!ππ Looking forward to hear from you as always!