Nobody really cared
My parents and whole family were and still are emotionally neglectful.
When I was a kid (up until 10 years old) they would show some interest in me. Because I didn't have my own opinion and my own thoughts yet.
But when I became older and started to become my own individual they completely stopped caring about me.
My dad was only giving me money and that's it.
He never supported me emotionally, never hugged, ever even asked me how I was doing.
When I started to have problems with my mental health he forced me to go to psychologists and he desperately wanted to fix me. It hurt more than anything!!! I wanted my dad to be here for me and to talk to me and he was avoiding this responsibility.
To this day, when I feel bad, he tells me he is not a psychologist to talk about me and my problems.
I am so angry at this situation.
How come he even have a kid?
Isn't that the joy of having a kid/kids is to see them grow up as individuals, share moments with them, spend good time together?
I never had this. I just can't wrap my mind around why my parents decided to have a kid in the first place.
I don't really blame my mother. She is coming from an extremely toxic household and was literally brainwashed into thinking her ONYL goal as a woman was to have a kid.
But why my dad decided to be a dad?
I wish I had the answer to this.
I never even asked them to be born and here I am feeling terrible and alone.
I wish I had a close and happy family, where family members support each other.
My family feels like a bunch of strangers sharing the same place.
I'm glad I'm not living with them anymore but I'm still in so much pain.
The don't even text me to ask me how I'm doing!!!
It just makes me really angry.
All this trauma made me so disgusted in the idea of being a mother.
I just don't want to bring a human to this world to make him feel pain.
I'd rather just don't have kids.
I'm really disappointed in life right now.
I thought there would be more to it.
Maybe there is, but I don't see it yet.
My heart is hurting.
I feel so alone and I actually am alone.
It's really sad to have such a family. It all just feels empty.
If I ever heal from this pain, I really want to help others going through the same thing.