MEN: What Do You Want Women to Know?

@jesusredeemedme2425 Well, how to drive a car for one.

baaaaawhhahahaha just kidding, TOTALLY kidding 

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Men should learn the same. ;)

@jesusredeemedme2425 were too busy not asking for directions 😂

@PineTreeTree

Do guys actually not ask for directions, or is that a stereotype?

@jesusredeemedme2425 I think it’s just a stereotype. I’m sure I’ll hear of a man some day who asks. 😂

I think it's a stereotype. When I was married my wife was my navigator. I could get lost in the city I lived in. She was my navigator for so many things, and still managed to lose my way. What does that say about me?

It says you’re just like me XD

@GreekCatPerson That says she sucks at navigation 😂

Or you are hard of hearing 😂

Heh, no, that was metaphorical, me losing my way. I realized after it was too late that I was indeed hard of hearing and I should have been a better husband.

@GreekCatPerson oh, sorry I thought we were talking about cars. Yeah I’ve had some lack of hearing skills too, it’s a painful lesson.

@jesusredeemedme2425 It is a stereotype but it's not entirely without validity. Some of us don't like giving an appearance of helplessness or incompetence, & asking for directions is associated in certain people's minds with such qualities--however incorrect an opinion it may be.

@PineTreeTree 🤣🤣🤣 Omgggg!! I'm a woman but this just cracked me up. Lol. 🤣🤣🤣 Hilarious. 

@jesusredeemedme2425

In the core of every man, whether he is aware of it or not, is an Emperor.

In our pure essence, we are driven by duty, responsibility, and discipline. The role of the Masculine will always be superior to the Feminine in terms of the position of authority, while both are equal in terms of importance and it is not proper that one denies the other; they are, in fact, complementary opposites.

Rulership is the duty of the man, as for himself so for the thing that has been entrusted to him.

@kalymmenon So you want women to know your boss? That that is the natural order of things so they better do what you tell them to do? Good for you and good luck with that!

@PineTreeTree

No.

@kalymmenon well, what is this “position of authority” you speak of then?

@PineTreeTree Actually it can be very convenient for a man to be in a relationship with a decisive woman.

It is like Windows Vista - usually you can choose between "OK" and "Cancel" (though some choices have only "Yes, Honey!" option).

Then, instead of being involved in a primitive and stupid decision-making process, you can devote your time to REALLY serious & important matters, like art, poetry, fishing or studying the crucial differences between Messerschmitt Bf 109G and Focke-Wulf Fw 190 D.

@PineTreeTree

Authority as a synonym of power in the context of hierarchy. I don't need to explain this in detail, it is seen in the world from the very beginning of mankind.

I don't say this to discredit women or to humiliate them, but I say it as it is: the primary role of the man is rulership, and this incorporates the duty for people, protection of the family, proper household management as the first authority, etc.

The woman is not neglected but she only differs in the role, which is the support, the nourishment, the maintenance on her part, etc. That's why I said that both are equal in their importance, but not in their roles. However, that's why I also said that they are complementary opposites, they fulfil one another because one lacks what the other has, so that even if the role of the man is superior, it is not stable without the role of the woman and vice versa.

I'm talking in fundamental terms, not addressing the various complexes that are shaped throughout a person's life.

I have to disagree as a woman I don't really believe that especially not the part of it being a man's job to boss me around

good luck on thatð¤£ð¤£

Also rulership being the duty of the man ð¤£ð¤£ I strongly disagree on this part

@jesusredeemedme2425

Dear Women,

First of all, you need to know that men are humans. At least majority of them, I must say.

Men have feelings, too. At least some of them.

Men also like to talk. At least a few of them.

Some men can really tell the difference between cobalt blue and pistachio green, or not mistakenly take fuchsia for pink.

Not all men are fond of cars, football/soccer or other boring things. Some of them also really hate electro tools.

Not all men have a master chief grade in the kitchen. But some men eagerly accept doing things like washing the dishes, taking care of children or grocery shopping.

Men often love their children very much. The fact they do that in a different way than you is not diminishing the importance of the fact.

Equal rights take co-operation and mutual respect, neither competition, nor disregard. When you ill-treat your men, you ill-treat yourselves.

@jacek73 The "deep" stuff, wonderfully and beautifully said! ☆ And yayyy, for the men who love and take care of their kids. That's what a man does always no matter what. 

Abit unrelated, but thank you for being a proud follower of Christ, and being unashamed about your faith. Keep reaching , keep showing the same love, selflessness, and compassion that Christ has for us all. May the Lord bless you. 💖

Awwww thank you! <3

What I would like for women to know...

That's a complicated question. It's not so much what I want them to know, but it's more about how to let them know why I want them to know something about me.

As important and necessary the content might be, the way it's communicated is equally if not more important than the content.

I want my potential parter to know that I'm not perfect. I want her to know that I will make more mistakes than I would ever dare to take responsibility for, but it doesn't mean that I don't internally acknowledge and punish myself for those mistakes. I want her to know that I will continously strive to make up for those mistakes and never repeat them.

I want her to know that she can come to me and trust me enough to listen even if the issues she has are because of me. A relationship works only when there are no secrets and no built up resentment. I want her to know that if I make a promise, I learned how to keep such promise now.

I want her to know that I need her help to learn how to love myself again.

That is all.

@GreekCatPerson All I can say is "wow". ♡ Reading your comment touched my heart. 

"I want her to know that I will continously strive to make up for those mistakes and never repeat them." 

These are your words and it's real. This statement here let's me know you have some great qualities within you. I do feel that I need to tell you though--- if you make a mistake, rectify it, forgive yourself, and move on. Please, please do not punish yourself and continuously knock yourself. Just keep trying to do and be better. This is something everyone of us should do. 

"I want her to know that I need her help to learn how to love myself again."

This was a deep read for me. I took it as you being vulnerable. And while it may be difficult to open up and be vulnerable, it's actually quite beautiful. I hope that one day you are able to find a good woman. The one who makes you feel complete. The one that can help you to love and be loved and to feel loved. It saddens me though you feel you need to learn to love yourself again. I'm sorry for whatever happened to you in the past that may have changed that. Just know that despite flaws and faults and mistakes made, you are more than that. They do not define you. Let your good qualities and traits show. Be good to people. Love on people. Be good to yourself. Love on yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be forgiving to yourself. You can do it! Wishing you all the best and happiness. 

@jesusredeemedme2425 Are you sure you want to ask this question? Are you reeeeeally sure??... Okay, then.

What all women should know:

1. Just as you don't like being treated like sex objects, we don't want to be used as success objects. We are people too, with thoughts & feelings. We are not ATMs with legs. We are not a no-limit expense account for whatever you want to buy for yourself.
2. Yes, most of us understand that sexual harassment is wrong. The sleazeballs who don't get it do not represent the male gender in its entirety. However, more than a few of us also know that when a man shows interest in a woman, whether it's taken as "being creepy" or "being exciting" often depends as much on the man's appearance (particularly his height) & on the woman's mood as on what he actually says or does.
3. Ever wondered why American men don't make a commitment? It's because quite a few of us consider marriage a bad move, for more than one reason. The way US laws are set up, a marriage is the only contract where one party gets rewarded for breaking it...& in most cases that party is not the husband. If a couple gets married & it doesn't work out, the husband will almost certainly lose half or more of his assets regardless of whether the wife helped contribute to those assets or not. If he doesn't have any, the court will garnish his wage/salary so his ex-wife will take a chunk out of his earnings for years on end, or even in perpetuity. If the divorce is not amicable then, if the ex-wife should decide on it, there are several ways she can ruin his life if she feels it's justified. If there are kids involved it can get very dirty indeed. (I know this not just from what several male divorcees have told me but as someone who went through it myself, when my folks split up) Divorces take much time, effort, & money...lots of it. The foregoing, in a nutshell, is why increasing percentages of men refuse to commit to marriage. For some of us, the juice ain't worth the squeeze.
4. For women into online dating: just as women are not playthings to use for male pleasure, men are not products for you to order off a website. Sure, it's fine to have standards. It is good if you won't sleep with any man you meet, as it means you have self-respect. At the same time, if you make a lengthy checklist for your Ideal Man & discard every potential suitor who fails to meet the smallest requirement, here's what will most likely occur:  A] you'll never meet anyone & wind up alone in your mid-30's, or  B] you'll meet a rich, handsome, fit, 6'+ guy who will bang you until he gets bored with you, then dump you for his next conquest--of which he will have many, since so many women on dating sites hunt exclusively for men like him. If you hold out & keep looking, you may find another wealthy stud who'll treat you the same way. Rinse & repeat. This happens for two reasons: 1) when someone is in high demand, he can be choosy & doesn't have to settle down. 2) if you treat someone like a consumable product, (s)he will treat you that way in return.

The foregoing is not a conclusive list.

@slowdecline48 I think you touched some very sensitive matters.

As for the girls from the online dating sites, recently I told one of them a man is not a product or service they can buy. They cannot order a product called "Touch me, hug me, kiss me, make me feel safe, desired, accepted and precious and... go away when I am bored and come back whenever I want it again".

You mentioned your country: What I adore in American women is the fact that most of them use makeup every day. Here in Europe some ladies have extremely boosted egos while being too lazy to use just some lipstick, mascara or eyeshadow. Being a woman of a neglected beauty is I think somehow offensive to a man.

However, I believe that men usually do not tolerate any silicone add-ons to a female body, especially if those are lips or breasts (except some serious medical issues that may require using implants).

@jacek73 Perhaps they don't tolerate such things in Europe, but most of us do here--unfortunately.

[CW: bit of a rant]

I hate breast implants. Strong words, yes, but that's how I feel. IMHO they should be prohibited worldwide. All the manufacturers should be shut down after being forced to pay for explant surgeries & medical bills of women who got sick because of the implants &/or their surgeries. Frankly, the CEOs & other leading execs of implant manufacturing firms should do prison time for all the harm they've caused.

I do not blame women for buying implants & having them inserted into their chests, & never have. It ain't their fault for having low self-esteem about their own bodies, nor for believing that putting foreign objects under their skin will fix what is, at root, an emotional/psychological issue. Women have always been concerned about their looks, of course. Modern entertainment media has often been a bad influence on female self-image; that's been true for decades. So-called social media aggravates the issue as well. But the solution to these problems is not getting cut open, putting plastic bags full of saline solution or silicone inside one's chest & then getting sewn up. The surgeries are medically unnecessary in the vast majority of cases at best. At worst, the bags can spring a leak...which will lead to infection. In severe cases, women have been left with permanent health problems like messed-up hormones or lymphatic issues even after having explant surgery, with shortened lifespans....it's terrible, just terrible.

If I were emperor of the world--which will never come to pass--not only would I decree & enforce the above measures, I would also draft a basic message for all girls & women who turn to therapy for body issues &/or low self-esteem about their looks. Basically it would be the following:

1. Bad feelings about your body will not magically disappear by modifying it for no medical reason. You can't fix a problem within your mind by changing your body.
2. Real reasons for pride & self-esteem have nothing to do with looks. Being beautiful is nice but being good is better. So is improving your mind, helping others, & achieving goals for yourself. None of those things has to do with how you look.
3. If you must change your looks, don't worry about being "pretty" or "sexy". Eat well & get enough exercise & sleep, & your body will look great. A healthy person is almost always a great-looking person.
4. No concern about beauty (or anything else) is worth messing with your health. Beauty fades with age & time--it's temporary. Health problems can last for the rest of your life, & ruin it. It's not worth the risk.

You make some very good, thought-provoking points. <3

@jesusredeemedme2425 Thanks. I wanted to add something to the discussion...hopefully something of value.

One other thing I'd like to point out: while I agree that we must discourage bad behaviors in general & strive towards good communication & healthy relationships, we should also remember: relations between the sexes have never been perfectly smooth. Most likely they never will be. Communication styles--thinking styles--are different, & not just between men & women. No, not all men think alike. You can bet on that. There is always a potential for misunderstandings & crossed signals; unfortunately sometimes that potential is fulfilled. Too often, we forget these facts. The problem is not "men are from Mars, women are from Venus". A more accurate metaphor would be "when you talk to somebody you don't know yet, it's possible that you may be from Earth while (s)he is from somewhere near Alpha Centauri."

Hear, hear. Yours are all good points.

@jesusredeemedme2425 well i won't say this only to women but to men as well. Learn to be loyal and be a decent human being when in a relationship. We are more focused in finding someone out there who will somehow make our lives better. That is not going to help, a relation should be complementary in nature and not supplementary. So be a decent human, learn to love not lust and treat the other person as human. There should be a healthy boundary and a safe place to share, most importantly do not try to control your partner they are not your slave to be owned and regulated. stay safe and be happy

1. If a guy calls you beautiful in a genuine context, don't argue with it every time, pointing out all the things that make you feel insecure. Believe it or not, we have insecurities too (whether or not we choose to acknowledge them). My point is that it can be demoralizing fighting an uphill battle to make a girl feel beautiful and deserving. It can start to feel like a hopeless situation. Sometimes we see good qualities that you don't. 😉 And if we call you that, we're often just trying to make you smile and feel closer to you. Hopefully.

2. Having fun is important to us. We should be able to laugh, go out, go crazy. If we can do that without creating drama or hurt feelings, we're a lot more worth keeping around. Some guys can't be trusted though...

3. Listening and understanding are weak points for a lot of guys largely because society makes it that way. Most of us have to actually learn that it's ok to show feelings. Society honestly just has us playing with a different deck in general. It doesn't mean we're lesser, but it definitely shouldn't mean you should be the one to just deal with it and change for it.

4. More guys are liking for girls to be themselves. Be imperfect, please. Help guys like me fight the fight, for all of us. We should all be able to be ourselves, not repressing into fragile masculinity or surface femininity. Moreover, we've gotta learn to communicate without the pretenses.

5. If we refuse to split up chores/duties, it might be us being lazy. However, if we're minding our business while you're on a cleaning spree, it might also be because we're terrified of your cleaning spree momentum. 😂

6. Girls get shallow too. Guys catcalling, kissing and telling, degrading, harassing... All of that can be really harmful. It's the same to us if girls make us feel judged, inferior, or used. Stuff like that. There's pretty much no excuse for any of it. Also, maybe try not to roll your eyes at us for every other thing that comes out of our mouth? 😅 No matter how typical we're being, there's a limit.

7. There's a reason (not the only one really, but still) most girls say it's always the creeps and conceited guys trying to get their attention. The rest of us don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. It makes an approach a bit more difficult when we care about your feelings, and not just whether or not we get rejected.

We are the worst when it comes to reading cues. So if you want us to do something just ask us with a smile and we would try our best to do that.

Can a 19 year old guy tell women a message? I would like women to know that we do not see anyone more beautiful than her in this world I would like women to know that they are the beauty and adornment of life with our eyes. I want women to know that we are a space that holds them, loves them, and values them I want women to know that we are a space to protect and support them ❤️

Awww that’s the sweetest thing I’ve read today <3