I want to imrpove

@Drandnadree awww sweetie your a young teen, it's ok to make mistakes ❤ you haven't done any real harm here, accept to yourself. Wanting to change, and make ammends, and admit to your problems, well you are more mature than many adults🙂❤ to change your ways you already know what to do, just try to be honest, friendly, and kind. You have a good heart, otherwise you wouldn't be here seeking help. Use that beautiful heart of yours ❤

@Drandnadree

its gonna be difficult.
i'm not saying this from a place of hate. the thing is teenage years are years where emotions and sensitivity runs real high. i mean im sure if some other person was standing in ur place today u would have definately acted the same way.
spreading rumors n telling secrtes...they betray trust of others uk...
i feel like its gonna take people time to trust u again and start to like you.
till then try be the best person you can be. see where you have gone wrong and try to make up for it. appologize whole heartedly to the people you have done wrong to...

it will take time for people to see that you have changed for the better. till then try to be your best . 

hope everything gets sorted out for you💛

@Drandnadree I had a similar friend. She spread terrible rumours about me and ignored me whenever she was talking to more popular girls and even boys that I liked. I can never forgive her. She still doesn't realise that she is toxic but even if she did and came apologising to me I don't think I could ever be good friends with her again. What I suggest is that make new friends. It might be hard to let go of your old friends and find new people considering that everyone knows what you did. But trust me you will find someone that understands you gives you a chance.

Dear, you acknowledging your wrongs and trying to do better is a feat in itself. It is the first and most difficult step. You're pretty young and already have so much self-awareness. Believe me, you're better than most adults. Also, go a little easy on yourself, you know what to do, just take your chances and be kind. To yourself and to others. You'll be a great friend, you're already on it!

Totally agree with @Tinywhisper11 ----

@Drandnadree, you are young and learning how things work. It’s okay to make mistakes. What matters is that you have realized what was going wrong, which shows you have a good heart and are very capable of changing yourself. Keep believing in yourself and stay positive. Every step you take towards improvement is a step towards a brighter future

@Drandnadree

I'I'm really happy to know that you want to change?Let me give you some advice in  this regard, u can Apley them on every relationship 

1- never talk about other people  or share what you about them, always act surprise even if you actually know, people may force you to talk but comment to  know nothing.

2-keep ur opinion to ur self if no one asked you for an opinion.

3- care as much they care love as much they love don't do anything extra  cause they might think they r better than u.

4- do be open about you house hold situation like financial issues, fights or bad things about your family  cause they gonna use it against you when they have a chance, and that's pain gonna stay long because you actually trusted them

5- don't be based don't choose a side always be neutral in ur choices and opinion.

I wish i realized how horrible the things i did when i was your age 8 years ago. You are going to be grow up to be an amazing person that is self aware and loving. I wish i had a friend like you that knew themselves. You have no idea how frustrating it is to have no idea why everybody around you hates you, avoids you so much. You know it so you already achieved the difficult part. For me, i will never be able to self reflect and never know why i’m so horrible

Hi, The things that truly helped me were therapy and reading books, and if you are open to it, then practical religious teachings. The religious part helped me expose myself to really good and healthy friends, and solid things that would help. personally, i had a great experience with it a few years ago, but this is not the case for everyone, use your own discernement. youtube, podcasts, and books were so helpful for me. if you have access to any form of social media there is so much good out there, although be careful with that too, but social media was a good tool for me as a young person.

Also, i know you said you apologized, i wasn't there to see that, but just in case this helps, or in the future. Personally I find it that sometimes people don't revise their apologies, instead of saying "i'm sorry" with a tone, say things like "i'm sorry, how can i fix this and make things better" so actually apologizing and taking inspired action, where you can show to others how sorry you are. it seems more genuine, it makes all the difference.

never forget we are constantly changing, I am not the same person i was 3 months ago, or a year ago. if you look at your friends, or family members, they are not the same person as when you first met them. Personally, i've been at the bottom 2 or 3 times in my life, and i've "rebranded" myself over and over again, i come back as a completely new person. as it happens for many, too. School or jobs can create these tunnel vision experiences, where you are held to versions that other people have known, to the version of you that you know. but you are not held back by people, the world, or past versions of you. Please never lelt that hold you back from creating signficant change in your life.

For a start you can observe that the very fact that you care about what you do and you want to do good means that you are a good person.

Hey, kiddo. Take it easy on yourself. You're 14. I did some pretty insensitive stuff when I was your age.

Tip number one is: stop comparing yourself to people so much.

Tip number two: be kind to yourself, and you'll be kinder to others.

Tip number three: be the kind of person you'd want to have as a friend.

❤️