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annadaisy50749
1 1,528 M Little Steps 5
PathStep 32 Compassion hearts224 Forum posts122 Forum upvotes154 Current upvotes154 Age GroupTeen Last activeOctober, 2024 Member sinceSeptember 30, 2023
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my name is anna daisy. im 17 and somehow still breathingđź«Ąđź’€



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jelousy
General Support / by annadaisy50749
Last post
 September 18th
...See more hey yall.. I don't know how to explain what I am going through. every time I talk with this girl in my school a huge ball of jealousy hits my face. Let me explain... oh n im in highschool, last year. so this girl rgt? lets call her tina, she is pretty and is very fun to be around. im am the opposite I am very reserved and get along not that well with others.  I don't know what to say when and all the insecurities keep me from talking. she is the exact opposite while not a super extrovert or anything she is playful with everyone. she is somebody you want to be around with while I am somebody who u don't care much but just exists there... now this is the first reason why I am jealous for her...you know when you want to be someone u like imitate them unconsciously? I do that now n then. I didn't realise it at first then another girl, tinas closest friend in school said that I act like tina...I...idk what to say. I felt called out n I felt inferior almost. I became more silent. now today. im at my peak jealousy n lowest self. she sent a text in our group a message her dad sent...something like this: "You know papa loves you so much.. its just that I get angry seeing the way you treat food.    I'm sorry I yelled. And you... you went to sleep without even saying goodnight  or bye to papa.. but thats okay. Take care   Luv you" I felt like crying bro. *** i am crying. its because my dad would never say things like that to me, I don't remember the time he said he loves me, even my mom. he shouts at me most of the time. disrespects me other time just you know exists there. I believe that (I like to believe) that he actually likes me n does not know how to show it. but its getting hard to justify day by day. I see him acting all playful with my cousins but when it comes to me n my brother... I don't want to go into detail. But you know sometimes wish I had a dad who would say all these stuff to me... im not jealous because of this one text. I have seen her dad few times  n he is always so affectionate n caring about tina. he is writer (as a hobby kinda) n on his first book he gifted one copy to her and wrote a very sweet note on the front page. my dad just keeps a distance. I just want a normal relationship with him, and my mom. I always get jealous of my friends...I just cant help it. I cant say anything aloud because I f I do everything I have bottled up past years will a spill out. And im so ashamed that im like this. I wish I was different, I wish I was like her... the grass is always greener on the other side eh? im sorry if this post is very out of the place and not in order. I just wanted it to get out of my chest. take this as a confessional. 
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how do you deal with being the ugly friend in the friend group?
General Support / by annadaisy50749
Last post
 January 9th
...See more Its not that my friends are the problem or anything, they are the kindest people that i've come across. Its just that i'm tired of being the friend who looks ugly while we are hanging out. its alomst embarassing and i have this thing where i keep thinking they (my friends) would be much better with somebody else who is pretty and has a nice personality and funny and caring.  It would have been bearable if i was just insecure about my looks, im insecure about everything! i feel so bad for complaining about these things...yea sure i have maybe stuffs other people may not have and all...i just idk, i want to learn to fully accept myself i think...and i cannot stop thinking about this hypothetical person who would be better suiting for my friend group than i. if any of yall would like to help me...it would be nice. idk if i explained better, im super bad at conveying my thoughts so if this rant sounds like mumbo jumbo...my bad
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