I'm so hopeless, I don't know what to do
Hi everyone, I hope you're all doing well, anyone reading this. It's my first post here so I'm a little anxious.
I would like to share a little of how I feel.
I won't share much of my personal information, but I am a girl. I'm in my second semester of college, and so far I'm doing very well.
The thing is, about 5 years ago I started to develop low self-esteem. But it's something I was able to control. But over time, everything got worse. I looked for support from my friends and other people and those things.
Everything was going well. But about 4-5 months ago I started to suffer from something similar to anhedonia. My life has always been one of constant stress because of the fear of disappointing my parents with my grades. I developed gastritis at an early age.Well, getting back to the topic of my supposed anhedonia, I feel weird. I'm being honest. I feel bad and very weird.Before, (I mean about a year),I was a very compassionate and emotional person. I spent a lot of time playing my favorite video games and characters, enjoying my hobbies and spending time with my friends. A lot.I have always been a good student, daughter, and daugther. I was passionate about mysterious things and magical, medieval vibes.I had a talent. Yes, I did. I loved drawing since I was little. I have an art account on ***, but I haven't posted anything there for a month.I feel hopeless. For a couple of years now I guess I really was suffering from depression.
Nothing matters to me. I stopped talking to many friends. I have a void in my chest. I can't cry the way I'd like to. I've never been completely happy for long in my life. I'm always going from here to there. I've always felt like I'm weird. I'm not happy with myself. The last few months have been about getting through my day to day life.
I have a music playlist. I loved that music and it made me feel things and feel good, wanting to fight for my passions.
But now I don't feel anything. I listen to them and I don't feel anything. I've been looking into this a lot and I think it's "emotional burnout".
But I'm not interested. I don't want to go outside.
I miss how I used to feel. With my tastes and my passions and the things I loved.
I used to have a lot of projects with my art and stuff like that.
I've tried to convince myself that I'm supposed to grow up.
But adults are also happy and feel things, right?
I guess I've ruined my life with my pessimism. I'll never feel anything again, I think.All my pleasures for which I fought three years are not worth it.I have been looking for new interests in case you are wondering. Yes, this year I discovered a sport that I love and that did not affect my other interests. But now I no longer feel that spark when I watch my favorite sports.
I can't really talk to my parents for help right now because they are in a difficult situation with their jobs. And I can't get a therapist at the moment...
I miss my video games, talking to my friends, enjoying my art and my favorite characters.I miss my emotions.
I miss being sentimental.. I miss everything. And I blame myself every day.. it's hard to cope with all this.. for all these years.. All these four years of holding on and thinking that the next day will be better. All those nights I cried because I wished I wasn't here.All these years doubting everything.
I've been miserable.I'm the oldest sister, so I don't want my little brother to go through what I've been going through. My chest hurts. I feel lost. I feel bad.I don't care about myself. I miss everything.
That's all.I don't feel well enough to give more details. I'm sorry if you read all this and thank you for reading it. Thank you for your patience and your valuable time.I would appreciate if anyone could leave a comment if they could. Just wanted to share this. Thanks
and have a nice day.
@Zae1
Dear Zae, hope you're doing well. Your message felt touching. I'm replying to you, but I'm not here to help, simply because I can't help. It felt touching, because I've been going through the same things as you for three years now. I'm two years senior to you, my college would be over in six months. And I've been battling this since before my school ended. Yes, even I surfed through and got the names you mentioned, anhedonia, emotional burnout. I thought about it before, now I don't. Not that I've accepted it, but I just let it be. I miss being myself. Yes, I too don't feel anything listening to music once I used to do. But sometimes I do, it takes me back to my past, my good old days. I feel like I'm a ghost, who wanders in the past. Who has no vision for the present. Lingering in the past isn't something jolly, yet it has a tremendous pleasure, that doesn't let you go free.
I don't know what I exactly wanted to say here, or why did I reply you at all. Maybe just wanted to say something founding your issue familiar. I hope to connect to you again.
Shourya
Hello @DS1871
Don't worry. Thanks for writing. I really admire that you've been able to bear that feeling all these years. You're a strong person.Good luck finishing your studies 🫂
I know. It's confusing to cope with everything and keep living. I hope you get better soon, because you are really strong. And I'm so sorry I can't help you either.
Don't you have something that can distract you? That's what I did. Distract myself a little
Sorry for the short or unhelpful response, but thank you very much for writing. I send you a hug and hope everything gets better for you. Good luck.
@Zae1
Hey Zae, What happened, you can talk to us and you can share whatever you are feeling right now.
@TheCalmKnight
Hello, how are you?
Thanks for replying.
I really don't know what to say, I'm so sorry. I've already tried to explain my situation a bit as I said in my post, but I've tried to cope with my life that way and move on.
Sometimes it's hard because I can't enjoy those things and those special moments like I would like, And even more so now that Christmas is almost here. That bothers me.
Sending a hug
Hi Zae just checking in on you wanted to make sure you were ok. I hope you were able to enjoy your weekend. Also just letting you know that I care and wanted to check on you. :)
Hello @wjglory, how are you?
Well, I'm the same. A busy week with activities at my university but I'm still the same:(
Thank you for your kindness and patience and for caring about me. How are you? I hope you have a nice day. 🫂
@Zae1 I am doing well about to head to a meeting I hope you are having a good day so far and that you feel well. Sending good vibes your way hopefully they bring joy to you today.
Zae I hope you are doing well. Yesterday was a bad day for me just don't like being used. Hopefully today is a better day for the both of us.
Hello 😺
@wjglory
I'm so sorry :( are you okay now? Hope you have a nice weekend. I send u a hug
@Zae1 Hug received and appreciated :) I am doing a little better thing about depression is that it lingers around and strikes when your guard is down. I try to keep busy and be a good friend, strangly enough I helped a friend find a sublet and that helped me feel better.
Hello again 😺 @wjglory
I'm glad. Distracting yourself is good. Remember to take care of yourself too. I hope you have a good weekend. What would you like to do? I hope you recover soon.
@Zae1 Well I have a few errands to run this weekend and I will continuing on my book. What are you doing this weekend?
@wjglory
Hello
Good luck with it☺️ What is your book about?
Nothing, continue with my homework. I don't know what to tell you, so I hope you have a good day/afternoon or night🫂😺
@Zae1 My book is a memoir of sorts about my last job. Its told through the employer through an interview. I just went for a walk about to do some writing good luck with your schoolwork take care of yourself please.
@Zae1
Just chatting really helps. You can also get help on the growth path. It includes short and calming exercises that help you grow stronger. I recommend taking one step a day. Let chat
Hello @Hoyinlola214
Thank you for writing and for your kind message. How are you?☺️
@Zae1im good
@Zae1
No worries brother....have faith ,for faith is a super power.
Zae I hope you are having a wonderful weekend I wanted to check in you and make sure you are doing well. Haven't heard from you this week so I was just wondering.
Hello @wjglory
I hope you are well
Well, the truth is, I'm still the same and I still feel confused about what I really have.I'm just getting through the day, but I haven't improved at all, I think I may have even gotten a little bit worse. But don't worry 😺❤️ I hope u are ok 🫂🫂hug
@Zae1 Sorry things are still tough over there. Just know I am in your corner and hoping each day that things get better over there for you. Take care sending all the hugs I can over towards you.
I understand what you're going through. At some point in my life, I felt overwhelmed by negative emotions due to disappointments and changes I was experiencing. As a result, I felt numb inside, unable to feel anything. Everything seemed the same, and all I wanted to do was sleep forever. It was a dark time in my life, and my actions only worsened my situation.
You see, sadness was the only emotion that made me feel alive at that moment, and I believed it was the only feeling I would ever experience for a long time because happiness felt so temporary. In my search to feel something, I sought out ways to make myself sad. I didn't realize at the time that this only reinforced my belief that happiness was fleeting. In a way, feeling sadness strangely brought me comfort.
I isolated myself, thinking that drawing and writing were the only ways I could feel understood. However, I eventually met someone who made me feel less alone and more understood. I don't mean to suggest that you should wait for someone to come into your life to help you feel the way you want. I don’t want you to develop an unhealthy emotional dependence on others.
What I’m trying to say is that you might feel like you will be stuck in this state forever, especially since you've been feeling this way for some time and don’t know how to change it. But you will find a way to deal with what you're going through, whether alone or with someone who can offer a different perspective on life. Either way, I believe you will be okay, not just because I've been in a similar situation, but because you seem to be taking the right steps by not keeping everything to yourself and allowing others to offer their advice.
Hello @energeticPrune260
Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm sorry you felt that way. But it's comforting that you're feeling better.
Thanks for the advice. I will try to do something then and be patient... I don't have much to say now because I have no words. I hope it is as you say. Thank you and take care of yourself 🫂☺️
It is not a good place to be. I stayed stuck in that situation for years, thinking there was nothing I could do, and as a result, I gave up on trying to improve myself.
I thought that how I was feeling was just a part of growing up, you know, because growing up seemed so depressing and lonely. However, now that I am in a better place, I can say that I am grateful for having gone through that experience.
It has taught me how to manage my negative emotions and has given me a better understanding of how they can affect my thoughts and behavior. Additionally, going through that has helped me understand others who are experiencing similar struggles. So, I hope that, like me, you will find a way to heal and use your experiences to gain insight into yourself and others.
@energeticPrune260
Thank u. Your words of advice and experience are appreciated. I hope so too...I don't really know how I'm still here. Every day is a bigger burden for me.I also think it's something about growing up. Thank you very much for your words. I hope you have a good day/afternoon or night☺️🫂❤️
I understand why you feel like every day is a burden. I used to feel exhausted just waking up and facing the day. Nothing seemed to improve or feel different, so the mere thought of waking up the next day made me tired. This is one reason I often felt the need to go to bed constantly. I don’t know if this is exactly what you’re experiencing right now, but parts of what you’re going through remind me of my old self.
For instance, the desire to get good grades. This stemmed from a need for acceptance from my parents. At that time, I didn’t have great self-esteem, so I relied on other people's opinions of me to gain self-acceptance and love. I struggled to understand who I was; I only knew what I was good at, like drawing, writing, and being a "good" daughter.
That’s why I believe it was important for me to understand what I was going through—why I acted, thought, and felt a certain way. It helped me a lot. I didn’t have to depend on others to understand who I was and what I was experiencing; I was able to figure it out for myself.
I encourage you to do the same. When you don’t understand the reasons behind something related to you, take the time to explore it. This may allow you to feel more in control of your emotions and yourself.
Hello again @energeticPrune260
I hope you are well.
I'm so sorry you feel that way.
I'm glad you took the time to think about yourself and see how you can improve. Thank you for sharing your message and help. I hope you are feeling better.
I'll try to do that. I'll try. Thank you. Good night for you and have a good weekend
Hey, @Zae1! It's so nice to hear from you! I'm doing well, but it's been a while since we last connected. How have you been?
Good morning Zae Happy Monday I hope the weekend was kind to you. It is Thanksgiving week here for me so I will be busy getting food prepared. Hope you have a great day just checking in on my great friend over here:)
Hello @wjglory
I hope you are well. Good luck on your Thanksgiving week, I hope the week is not hard.
A hug for you, thanks for keeping an eye on me🫂
@Zae1 You are welcome I will always check on you to make sure you are doing well. I have all the food ready for Thursday hope today was a good day for you :)
Hello @wjglory how are u?
@Zae1 Doing fine my wonderful friend how about you? How was your weekend? I hope your weekend was nice
Hello 😺 @wjglory
I don't know how I am..I'm on my final assignments for college so I'm a little busy. I'm glad you're okay
Dear zae I can understand how you are feeling at the moment,but your situation can be changed,you can practice a few things after that you will feel so much better. First of all you can do meditation, mindfulness meditation and transcendental meditation for 10-15 minutes morning and evening. Then you can do deep breathing exercises like pranayam. And then you can do basic stretching and other exercises like yoga or anything you like for at least one and half hours each day. All these things are not just for physical strength but mental health also because you will feel more relaxed and increase your concentration level. Because your brain releases so many happy chemicals like endorphins during exercise. And it reduces the stress and anxiety as well. Trust me your anxiety and stress will be drastically reduced by doing all this. Then secondly practice gratitude and positive affirmations. That will greatly help you. Believe in your self and God. You should also try to develop a good social circle like a having a few friends would help to share your feelings and emotions. Don't be a loner. Develop a bond with your parents and brother. Even if you are not able to share your problems now but you will be able to share them at a later stage. Read good books try to become a better person and have a mentor in life someone who is senior and a female like a teacher would be good
Hello @azureStrings1729
How are you?
Thanks for the advice. I hope you are well.
I'll try to do something about it.. but it's very difficult.
I mean, I feel like I'm okay. But at the same time I don't know. I just exist
Thank you for taking the time to write those tips.
Have a really good day 🥰🫂
