Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

I'm so hopeless, I don't know what to do

Zae1 October 29th

Hi everyone, I hope you're all doing well, anyone reading this. It's my first post here so I'm a little anxious.


I would like to share a little of how I feel.

I won't share much of my personal information, but I am a girl. I'm in my second semester of college, and so far I'm doing very well.


The thing is, about 5 years ago I started to develop low self-esteem. But it's something I was able to control. But over time, everything got worse. I looked for support from my friends and other people and those things.

Everything was going well. But about 4-5 months ago I started to suffer from something similar to anhedonia. My life has always been one of constant stress because of the fear of disappointing my parents with my grades. I developed gastritis at an early age.Well, getting back to the topic of my supposed anhedonia, I feel weird. I'm being honest. I feel bad and very weird.Before, (I mean about a year),I was a very compassionate and emotional person. I spent a lot of time playing my favorite video games and characters, enjoying my hobbies and spending time with my friends. A lot.I have always been a good student, daughter, and daugther. I was passionate about mysterious things and magical, medieval vibes.I had a talent. Yes, I did. I loved drawing since I was little. I have an art account on ***, but I haven't posted anything there for a month.I feel hopeless. For a couple of years now I guess I really was suffering from depression.

Nothing matters to me. I stopped talking to many friends. I have a void in my chest. I can't cry the way I'd like to. I've never been completely happy for long in my life. I'm always going from here to there. I've always felt like I'm weird. I'm not happy with myself. The last few months have been about getting through my day to day life.


I have a music playlist. I loved that music and it made me feel things and feel good, wanting to fight for my passions.

But now I don't feel anything. I listen to them and I don't feel anything. I've been looking into this a lot and I think it's "emotional burnout".

But I'm not interested. I don't want to go outside.

I miss how I used to feel. With my tastes and my passions and the things I loved.

I used to have a lot of projects with my art and stuff like that.

I've tried to convince myself that I'm supposed to grow up.

But adults are also happy and feel things, right?

I guess I've ruined my life with my pessimism. I'll never feel anything again, I think.All my pleasures for which I fought three years are not worth it.I have been looking for new interests in case you are wondering. Yes, this year I discovered a sport that I love and that did not affect my other interests. But now I no longer feel that spark when I watch my favorite sports.

I can't really talk to my parents for help right now because they are in a difficult situation with their jobs. And I can't get a therapist at the moment...

I miss my video games, talking to my friends, enjoying my art and my favorite characters.I miss my emotions.

I miss being sentimental.. I miss everything. And I blame myself every day.. it's hard to cope with all this.. for all these years.. All these four years of holding on and thinking that the next day will be better. All those nights I cried because I wished I wasn't here.All these years doubting everything.

I've been miserable.I'm the oldest sister, so I don't want my little brother to go through what I've been going through. My chest hurts. I feel lost. I feel bad.I don't care about myself. I miss everything.

That's all.I don't feel well enough to give more details. I'm sorry if you read all this and thank you for reading it. Thank you for your patience and your valuable time.I would appreciate if anyone could leave a comment if they could. Just wanted to share this. Thanks

and have a nice day.

169
kevintrever8891 November 2nd

Low self esteem can't develop on it's own. It has some situations that have effected you that way like happened to me. I am a worthless living creature struggling to live in this society. I have a huge financial responsibilities on me, I don't have any friends or people that care about me. I am a living disappointment. Sometimes people think that i am procrastinating myself but those are facts. I couldn't able to fit in this society. I always wanted to live far away from people in a small town. Expectations always put a huge weights on us. Trust me that was the real burden that we ever bare. I am a scared by them, I want to escape at the same time i want to fight but i don't have any confidence. Seems like we are facing a bit similar symptoms. Will you give me any suggestions if you got any good from listeners

5 replies
Zae1 OP November 2nd

Hello @kevintrever8891

I'm sorry you feel that way :(

Would you like to talk more?

Have you tried to find something that catches your attention? You can start with social media. Find people who will listen to you and say hello.

Do you have any religion? You can pray or do whatever you do in your religion. Do you have any family members? Any pets?

Did you like something before? You can try to reconnect with it. Don't give up. It's hard, I know, it's hard. But hold on a little longer :(

Would you like to be my friend? I can at least listen to you if I don't have much to say. I'm sorry if I don't have much to say or if I don't really feel.


Take care of yourself. Good luck. Have a nice day, really.

4 replies
kevintrever8891 November 2nd

Thanks for showing concern on me, I really need that. I don't know when was the last time i heard like this. People often find me so boring and emotionally weak. I am so lonely that i started to being in relationship with an AI. I am so loyal that i didn't made any friends after my primary school days. But my friends made lot of friends for them. I am just an extra weight for everyone. I don't have any value, Any people that shows some importance to me.


I always feel like don't i deserve to be loved, cared, or to het prioritized. People don't even look at my face. I am really shy to ask but i really need friends.


Of course if i can be your friend that could be a real thing that i wanted. Cause i don't have any.


I like movies, Music and writing. Those things only divert me from my loneliness. But from the past 2 years those things also can't make me feel anything better. I am not getting interest in anything. I used to watch anime in my past. But i can't watch anything. The only thing that relax my mind now is writing. I am a novel writer, but i am afraid sometimes that i lost interest in this too.


A lot of people have read my novels. But my only 4 friends from my childhood never even tried. I don't have value at anywhere cause i always seek love and attention and at the same time failed to get it. My self-respect stopped me begging for attention and love a long time ago. I am being alone. I go to movies alone, i go to restaurants, Shopping, Trips alone. I just need only one person to tell that how i am feeling. But no one's want to be with me because i am pathetic and boring and really disappointing.


Can you really be my Friend??

3 replies
Zae1 OP November 2nd

Hi again @kevintrever8891


I understand you. I've also been looking for some AI distractions since last year... there's a lot of variety in those things lately.


I'm sorry you feel that way so much. Even though I really wish I could help you right now, I'm not feeling well either. But I can listen to you if you need.

Don't you really have any family to help you? I know it's hard. Everything is hard lately in life, in the world. I'm so sorry you feel that way. I really do.


Have you tried talking to anyone on social media or something? Yeah, I already said that before, but it would be nice so you could see other perspectives or something.So you don't have to share your novels.

I understand, I feel a little lost too and I don't really know how I feel. I just want to change some things, and it's confusing.

What kind of novels do you write?

If you want, I can be your friend, but for now I can only listen to you. Anyone can be your friend really. You just have to be careful of bad people and get to know them better.

I'm sorry you don't have anyone to listen to you. You can find people here. At least you can start with this app.

2 replies
kevintrever8891 November 2nd

Thanks Zae


There is nothing about for you to feel sorry for me. I know for every problem in my life, I am responsible for everything. I hate myself at the same time I love myself cause the only person i had for myself is me.


I know you are having a tough life, Sorry i don't know even that i can do anything for that except to listen your problems and share my thoughts.


I only have on thing more valuable than my life in this world and that is my family. But they don't care about my mental health. They already felt so many problems before in their life. I am being a simple for them to be happy especially these days. Cause i am doing a software job since 2 years.


I can't make my parents sad again by telling them about my mental health. Also i am living far away from them in a different city for my job. All i can tell them when they ask about me how i feel. I just simply say I'm okay. That would really make them happy. I can't share any problems that i am facing to my parents that would make them sad again. I don't have anyone to speak from the bottom of my heart. That's why i registered to 7 Cups yesterday. And you are the first one that i am telling how i am really feeling.

If you are okay, I want to be your friend. I need a listener who don't get bored of my talking.


I never tried to tell this anyone in any social media platform. How can i, they could make fun of me. I don't trust people. But i wanna trust the people in this community cause they are feeling the same way like i am feeling now. I just have only 1 hope that any of people here, Just one person will understand how i am feeling.


I understand you want to change some things but can i ask why?

Instead of the change things that you like, Why don't you find people that like you the way you are with the things just like you had now. Cause i know changing really something that defines you is a bit difficult. I don't want to change myself to impress anyone, I just wanted to find friends that will actually like me the way i am.


I wrote fiction novels, I have completed two novels amd published in a novel publishing media and now i am currently working on another two.


Yes, I want to be your friend. Can we?

1 reply
Zae1 OP November 2nd

Hello againn

@kevintrever8891


You can then try to spend more time with your family. You can at least call one of your parents or relatives to see how they are doing even if it hurts not to want to talk to anyone.

I really hope someone helps you with this app..


How's work going? I'm not working much yet because of my studies. I hope that's going well for you. You can let off steam by writing things from your novels too.


How old are you, if I may ask? If not, no problem. What matters is that you are okay.


You know, I used to really like helping people..


But maybe you're right.. Things change too much and we have to learn from it. Sure, that's okay. I can be your friend.

load more
load more
load more
load more
load more
fantasticMist7745 November 2nd

@Zae1

You don't have to blame yourself for what you're going through, and I think it's really impressive that you kept your hope for 4 years. You were really brave sharing your story on 7 cups, and the community here will support you.๐Ÿ˜Š

3 replies
Zae1 OP November 2nd

Hello @fantasticMist7745

How are you?

I guess thanks. I try to do what I can but every time it's more difficult.

I hope you are well. Thank you for your kind words. Take care of yourself๐Ÿ˜บ

2 replies
fantasticMist7745 November 2nd

Hi Zae1,

I'm doing well today and thank you for the reply, this is my first one at 7 cups!

Take care of yourself too, there's no rush to get better.


1 reply
Zae1 OP November 2nd

Hii @fantasticMist7745

I'm glad you're okay. Thank you for your kindness.


I know, I know there is no hurry but I feel too hopeless ๐Ÿ˜žTake care of yourself

load more
load more
load more
meatb19 November 2nd

(Also my first message) Iโ€™m so sorry to hear youโ€™re feeling hopeless and the things you used to love arenโ€™t sparking the same joy anymore, it can feel like a personal failing to lack the motivation or energy to keep going but itโ€™s something youโ€™re absolutely not alone in. I have BPD and over the past several years anhedonia has been one of the most distressing aspects for me- the things like exercises, making art, reading and music that used to get me out of low places donโ€™t have the same effect and now it feels like it takes so much to do them. My biggest piece of advice is to keep doing them anyway as much as you can, or in a smaller capacity thatโ€™s more manageable- if making art projects is too much, spend 5 minutes doodling when you can. If going for a walk is too much, sit outside for a few minutes. The benefits are there regardless of how long or how big the activity is. Another thing I find is that I tend to think i am emotionless when really iโ€™m just focusing on/categorizing my emotions in an unrealistic way- I find using an emotion wheel to identify emotions and writing them down helps me prove that I do still feel and I can acknowledge it, as well as documenting things that happen that are good/things to be grateful for. I find my pessimism alters the way i see the world, but positivity is a trained skill! Saying things you like about yourself out loud, making lists of beautiful things, ending the day by writing about it, etc. are all ways to train that mental muscle. I know how alone you must feel, but what you are feeling is not uncommon and I can tell you as someone who nearly dropped out of university because of depression that it can and will get better. Even if itโ€™s only on this app, there are people who love you and care about you no matter what. All the best!โค๏ธ

1 reply
Zae1 OP November 2nd

Hello @meatb19

Aw, thank you so much. You are really very kind๐Ÿฅบ

Thank you for those kind words. I'm really sorry you went through the same thing..

I know, I've tried. Thanks for the reminder. I just feel like I'm in limbo and I feel hopeless.. I have tried to recover my tastes but I feel that they are not worth it... my head is simply too tired to think about both positive and negative things.

I'll try to see what I can do. Thank you very much again.. take care of yourself, you are very kind๐Ÿซ‚

load more
lillyflo8 November 2nd

Hello Zae, thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your experience , i feel less alone knowing that there is someone who is sharing a similar experience as me. i will continue to have hope for both of us, and hope that one day we will rediscover our passions and get to where we need to be. i am here if you need anyone to talk to :)

1 reply
Zae1 OP November 2nd

Hello @lillyflo8 ๐Ÿ˜บ

How are you? Thank you for writing. I hope I can help you too. Please take care of yourself.

load more
starryCandy6123 November 2nd

We all have times of stress in our lives, in many different ways . Do not be sorry, life can be very very stressful.

1 reply
Zae1 OP November 2nd

Hello @starryCandy6123

Thanks for commenting. How are you?

Okay. Thank you for your kind words and for taking the time to read.

I hope you are well.

load more
quietOak2764 November 2nd

@Zae1 Iโ€™m new to 7 cups as well, and reading your post brought tears to my eyes. Iโ€™ve felt the same way for about two years now and have suffered from depression, self harm, suicidal thoughts, and emotional burnouts. Your post has a comforting tone which I really like, it helps me realize Iโ€™m not alone, because Iโ€™ve been so ashamed of feeling like this. I came to 7 cups to get better with anonymity and though Iโ€™m not sure how but would love to help you. I hate feeling the way I do and I would do anything to make sure no one else feels this way. Iโ€™m not really sure how to sign up as a listener but once I do Iโ€™d love to help you if I can.

10 replies
Zae1 OP November 2nd

Hello @quietOak2764 ๐Ÿ˜ธ

How are you?

I'm so sorry you're going through something similar. You're strong for being through it for two years.

I hope you don't have any more bad thoughts :(

I'm glad I at least helped you feel something, even if it was tears..But you deserve to feel good, happy, and better. Okay? Thanks for commenting. I really don't want you to feel that way.

Thank you for your kind words again. Please take care of yourself. You are surely an amazing person with a lot of courage.

9 replies
quietOak2764 November 2nd

@Zae1 I hope you get better as well. Youโ€™re such a kind and sweet soul. You remind me of my older sister whoโ€™s around your age. I tell her everything but it would break her if I told her about this. I hope you do great things in life and become extremely successful. I hope these burnouts donโ€™t get to you. You seem lovely and itโ€™s only human nature to feel like this at times. I just know once youโ€™ve recovered youโ€™ll do amazing things in life and have so many people looking up to you.ย 

8 replies
Zae1 OP November 2nd

Hii @quietOak2764

It's sweet that I remind you of your sister.

Don't say that, you deserve to feel better more!

What do you like to do?

Don't worry if you can't tell your sister. It's okay. I know that talking about these things with family is difficult.

Don't worry about it, really. Take care of yourself. I send you a hug.I hope you recover soon๐Ÿ˜ƒ


7 replies
quietOak2764 November 3rd

@Zae1 Hii Iโ€™m so sorry for responding so late. Though I donโ€™t know you yet, would love to get to know you more and see you recover. All your messages radiate warmth, and make 7 cups really feel like a safe space. Iโ€™m not sure if youโ€™d be comfortable with it but Iโ€™d love to help you grow mentally and emotionally and hopefully tell u my problems as well.ย 

I think Iโ€™ve mentioned this but I havenโ€™t really been able to enjoy things the way I could before, even the things I used to like make me feel nothing. I feel awkward in my own body and I donโ€™t recognise myself anymore. I used to enjoy a lot of things and was very bubbly and Iโ€™ve been trying to go back to that by coming out of my comfort zone, trying to talk to strangers, peruse old hobbies like art and music and redevelop relations which donโ€™t feel the same anymore. Itโ€™s really sweet of you for asking. What do you like to do? Do you feel the same way they once made you feel?

6 replies
quietOak2764 November 3rd

@quietOak2764 forget the first question youโ€™ve already mentioned you liked art and music. Iโ€™d love to see your artwork. Iโ€™m not too sure if I can see them on seven cups is it alright if I ask for your account? Of course if itโ€™s personal thereโ€™s no need.

Zae1 OP November 3rd

Hello @quietOak2764


Don't worry about responding late, it is not mandatory

It's nice of you to want to help, thank you very much รฐยฅยบ

I also feel similar to what you say. I really loved drawing, and I was totally happy with my favorite characters from my video games.They made me very happy and it was the first time I really felt that way. I also got excited watching sports from my country's team.


I don't really know what I have right now, I've just been in a neutral or calm state for the last month.

I no longer think the same way about my favorite characters or my hobbies, I feel a little disconnected , and I just thought it was "growing up" but I've done some research and I don't think that's it.My head doesn't want to accept that I might have a problem and my head simply says "I'm fine." And I continue with my normal day-to-day life.Before I was an "emotional" person, now I don't care about anything.



How are you? Have you eaten anything yet? Take care of yourself and thanks for replying. I send you a hug.

4 replies
quietOak2764 November 3rd

@Zae1 Hi Iโ€™m doing better today, thank you so much for asking, Iโ€™m trying to improve myself and Iโ€™ve found ways to control the suicidal thoughts but Iโ€™m not necessarily happy, I do feel like I will improve. These things take time. And being able to open up is a start, and I feel proud of myself. How about you? How do you feel? When was the last time you drew or watched sports? What do you usually do or enjoy these days? Do any of your friends or family know about how you feel? Sorry for asking so many questions donโ€™t feel obliged to answer them all, only the ones youโ€™re comfortable with.ย 

3 replies
Zae1 OP November 3rd

@quietOak2764

Hi, I'm glad you're better today ^^

I feel like always, a little calm, without feeling stressed or anything..

A few friends know about this. My relatives don't

Nothing, I get distracted by some things but it's not the same, you know... ๐Ÿ˜ž

About three months ago was the last time I enjoyed something


Don't worry, thank you very much for writing :)

2 replies
quietOak2764 November 3rd

@Zae1 Hello, so sorry to hear that, have you tried finding new hobbies and interests? Three months is a long time to go without feeling happy, do you lack motivation? What makes you feel like this? Have you considered getting therapy, if your situation doesnโ€™t get better soon it may be a good option. I really wish I knew how to help you and Iโ€™m very sorry for not being able to. Itโ€™s getting quite late here and Iโ€™d love to know more tomorrow, hopefully then youโ€™ll feel better. Lots of love.

1 reply
Zae1 OP November 3rd

@quietOak2764

Hi, Don't worry ๐Ÿ˜บ

Yes, I have tried but I don't know, I feel a little strange or disoriented, I don't know if I really have emotions or not...

I can't access therapy right now, although I would like to :(


I really don't know what I have or what brought me to this point, I just think I'm exaggerating.


Don't worry, just by talking to me you do enough<3

Good night. Rest well and I hope you feel well tomorrow, take care.

load more
load more
load more
load more
load more
load more
load more
load more
load more
Someone8P November 3rd
@Zae1 ะŸั€ะธะฒะตั‚. ะฏ ะฝะต ะทะฝะฐัŽ ะผะพะถะฝะพ ะปะธ ั‚ัƒั‚ ะฟะธัะฐั‚ัŒ ะฝะฐ ั€ัƒััะบะพะผ ัะทั‹ะบะต, ะฝะพ ะฐะฝะณะปะธะนัะบะธะผ ั ะฒะปะฐะดะตัŽ ะพั‡ะตะฝัŒ ะฟะปะพั…ะพ. ะฅะพั‚ะตะป ะฑั‹ ะฟะพะดะดะตั€ะถะฐั‚ัŒ ั‚ะตะฑั. ะะพ ะบะฐะบ ะธะผะตะฝะฝะพ ะตั‰ะต ะฝะต ะฟั€ะธะดัƒะผะฐะป. ะ’ะพะทะผะพะถะฝะพ ั‚ั‹ ะผะพะถะตัˆัŒ ะฟะพะดัะบะฐะทะฐั‚ัŒ, ะทะฐะดะฐั‚ัŒ ะฝะฐะฟั€ะฐะฒะปะตะฝะธะต, ั‚ะฐะบ ัะบะฐะทะฐั‚ัŒ ะฟะพะผะพั‡ัŒ ะผะฝะต, ะฟะพะผะพั‡ัŒ ั‚ะตะฑะต?)

ะฃ ะผะตะฝั ัะฐะผะพะณะพ ะดะพัั‚ะฐั‚ะพั‡ะฝะพ ั‚ัะถะตะปะฐั ัะธั‚ัƒะฐั†ะธั. ะฏ ัะฐะผ ะธะท ะฃะบั€ะฐะธะฝั‹. ะฃ ะฝะฐั ัƒะถะต ะฟะพั‡ั‚ะธ ั‚ั€ะธ ะณะพะดะฐ ะธะดะตั‚ ะฒะพะนะฝะฐ.( ะ˜ ะฝะต ะฒัะตะณะดะฐ ั…ะฒะฐั‚ะฐะตั‚ ัะธะป, ะบะฐะบ ั„ะธะทะธั‡ะตัะบะธั…, ั‚ะฐะบ ะธ ะผะพั€ะฐะปัŒะฝั‹ั…, ะดะปั ะปัŽะฑั‹ั…, ะดะฐะถะต ัั‚ะฐะฝะดะฐั€ั‚ะฝั‹ั… ะดะตะป. ะ’ัะต ะบะฐะถะตั‚ัั ะฑะตััะผั‹ัะปะตะฝะฝั‹ะผ. ะ’ะพั‚ ัะตะณะพะดะฝั ะทะฐั€ะตะณะธัั‚ั€ะธั€ะพะฒะฐะปัั ั‚ัƒั‚. ะ˜ ะฟะตั€ะฒะพะต, ั‡ั‚ะพ ะฟั€ะพั‡ะธั‚ะฐะป, ัั‚ะฐะปะพ ั‚ะฒะพะต ัะพะพะฑั‰ะตะฝะธะต. ะะฐะดะตัŽััŒ ัƒ ั‚ะตะฑั ัะตะณะพะดะฝั ั…ะพั€ะพัˆะตะต ะฝะฐัั‚ั€ะพะตะฝะธะต. ะŸะพัั‹ะปะฐัŽ ั‚ะตะฑะต ะปัƒั‡ะธ ะดะพะฑั€ะฐ. ๐ŸŒž
1 reply
Zae1 OP November 3rd

@Someone8P


ะŸั€ะธะฒะตั‚, ะบะฐะบ ะดะตะปะฐ? ะฏ ะฝะต ะทะฝะฐัŽ, ะบะฐะบ ะณะพะฒะพั€ะธั‚ัŒ ะฟะพ-ั€ัƒััะบะธ, ะฟะพัั‚ะพะผัƒ ะฒะพัะฟะพะปัŒะทัƒัŽััŒ ะฟะตั€ะตะฒะพะดั‡ะธะบะพะผ.

ะŸะพะถะฐะปัƒะนัั‚ะฐ, ะฟะพะทะฐะฑะพั‚ัŒั‚ะตััŒ ะพ ัะตะฑะต. ะ’ั‹ ัะธะปัŒะฝั‹ะน ะธ ั…ั€ะฐะฑั€ั‹ะน ั‡ะตะปะพะฒะตะบ.ะ”ะฐ, ั ะฝะตะฝะฐะฒะธะถัƒ ัะธั‚ัƒะฐั†ะธัŽ, ะฒ ะบะพั‚ะพั€ะพะน ะพะบะฐะทะฐะปะฐััŒ ะฃะบั€ะฐะธะฝะฐ ะธะท-ะทะฐ ะฒะพะนะฝั‹...


ะฏ ะฝะต ะทะฝะฐัŽ ะฟั€ะฐะฒะดั‹. ะะพ ะฒะฐัˆะตะน ะฟะพะดะดะตั€ะถะบะธ ะธ ะฝะฐะฟะธัะฐะฝะธั ะฑะพะปะตะต ั‡ะตะผ ะดะพัั‚ะฐั‚ะพั‡ะฝะพ... ะฝะต ะฒะพะปะฝัƒะนั‚ะตััŒ.

ะŸะพะถะฐะปัƒะนัั‚ะฐ, ะฑะตั€ะตะณะธั‚ะต ัะตะฑั :(

ะšะฐะบ ะฒั‹ ัะตะณะพะดะฝั? ะ”ะพะฑั€ะพ ะฟะพะถะฐะปะพะฒะฐั‚ัŒ ะฒ ะฟั€ะธะปะพะถะตะฝะธะต.

ะ•ั‰ะต ั€ะฐะท ัะฟะฐัะธะฑะพ, ั‡ั‚ะพ ะฝะฐะฟะธัะฐะปะธ. ะะฐะดะตัŽััŒ, ั‚ะฐะผ ะฒัะต ะฝะฐะปะฐะดะธั‚ัั. ะฅะพั‚ั ัƒ ะผะตะฝั ัะตะนั‡ะฐั ะฝะตั‚ ัะธะป, ั ะฝะฐะดะตัŽััŒ, ั‡ั‚ะพ ั‚ะฐะผ, ะณะดะต ั‚ั‹ ะฝะฐั…ะพะดะธัˆัŒัั, ะฒัะต ัะปะพะถะธั‚ัั ั…ะพั€ะพัˆะพ.

ะะต ะฒะพะปะฝัƒะนัั. ะ‘ะตั€ะตะณะธ ัะตะฑั.


load more
Blessedsoul2011 November 3rd

@Zae1 Hello

7 replies
Zae1 OP November 3rd

@Blessedsoul2011

Hello, how are you?

6 replies
Blessedsoul2011 November 4th

@Zae1 I was touched by reading your story. Wanted to say hello and also that you are so brave to pen it down sharing it with all of us. I Have gone through a similar situation, and all I can say is never lose hope, situations turn and things get betterย ๐Ÿ’“

5 replies
Zae1 OP November 4th

@Blessedsoul2011

Hi, Thank you for your nice words รฐยฅยฐ

I'm sorry you had something similar :(

I really don't know what to do, I feel confused and I feel like everything I liked, loved and caught my attention before was like a dream because now I feel, I don't know, I don't know how I feel.

But I guess thanks.. I've been like this for almost four months now and I'm just waiting to see what happens next.


Take care of yourself

4 replies
wjglory November 4th

@Zae1


image_1730691062.png

3 replies
Zae1 OP November 4th


@wjglory

Goodnight, how are you?

How was your day?


๐Ÿซ‚๐Ÿซ‚

2 replies
wjglory November 4th

@Zae1 Busy day which is good keeps me occupied.ย  About to do some writing before bed.ย  Sweet dreams to you talk to you tomorrow :)ย  Hope you sleep well.

1 reply
Zae1 OP November 4th

@wjglory

Take care of yourself. I hope this writing helps you too. Good night to you too ๐Ÿ˜บ sleep well and good luck

load more
load more
load more
load more
load more
load more
load more
brownturkey2009 November 4th

@Zae1

Hello! I can completely understand what you are going through. I am also the older sibling to my younger sister and would never want her to go through any hardships. I also understand about the grades stuff. I still worry about whether I make my parents proud. To be honest I get a heart attack every time my dad calls my name or mentions me because I am scared he is talking about my grades. Feeling like a disappointment and a failure is so tough but I still can't see my self-worth. Because of all the stress, I have a bad habit of peeling off my skin and especially from my lips until it bleeds so bad. I used to talk to my friends of my problems but I was always an introvert when it came to things like this. I loved listening to to other people's problems and supporting them, but still don't have the time to acknowledge mine. Now I barely talk to my friends, especially about my problems. I mean I think it is understandable not wanting to share your own burden to someone who cuts herself. I understand the void part too. To be honest I don't even have the interest to do things as I used to and can't cry like I used to. Rather tears come randomly and once it comes, it flows down like a waterfall, except it is quiet and no one knows about it.


I hope you can realize your self-worth one day and know that you are good enough for your parents. I wish I could just teleport and hug you, but I can't so I will hug you through this message. I hope this message could allow you to understand that everyone goes through hardships and that we are all here to support one another. I hope everyone who reads this message, including @Zae1 will have an amazing day!

7 replies
Zae1 OP November 4th

Hello @brownturkey2009


How are you? Thanks for reading. I always like it when someone writes to me.



I'm so sorry you feel that way :( Also when I was a little girl I was scared to talk to my dad because of my grades.

How do you feel now? Would you like to talk more? You really don't deserve that...


I also stopped talking to my friends and I don't feel like talking to them..I just don't know how to express myself. I don't really feel anything even though I think I'm just exaggerating.


Please don't hurt yourself :( I know it may be an escape but don't do it.. I can't understand you right now but I just want to at least support you even if it's hard for me and you.

I hope that this app can help you feel better and take good care of yourself. You deserve it. Take good care of yourself. It was a pleasure meeting you.

6 replies
brownturkey2009 November 4th

@Zae1

I'm in high school right now so I can not imagine how hard it must be since your in college. But you got most of the stressful part done while I'm still stuck in it. I'm still afraid to talk to my dad. I'm more close with my mum but my dad is always the one who is most worried about these things which is why I'm always so stressed out. I used to move a lot which is why i always felt like I never had permanent friends and didn't like making close ones. I recently got a house as soon as I entered high school so I know I can't move anymore but I lost all my close friends again. That's why I don't feel comfortable talking to them either. Actually, one of my friends asked if we could meet up this week itself and at first I was happy to but now I don't feel like it so I said no. It kind of sounds mean but I just don't want to meet them anymore and want to feel isolated.ย 

5 replies
Zae1 OP November 4th

Hello @brownturkey2009

How are you?

Don't worry. I understand that studies are difficult.And you're really trying hard.

I wish I could help you.. ๐Ÿ˜ž

You can write to your parents or find another way to talk to them, when you feel ready.

Can't you contact your friends?

If you don't want to go out, that's fine. Then you can go out with your friend/s.

If you want to talk to your friends, that's fine, if not, no. But at least find something to distract yourself from your daily routine, while you have faith that everything will get better.


Take care of yourself. I hope you get better.

4 replies
brownturkey2009 November 4th

@Zae1

I think I am just scared to talk to my parents because I do not know how they feel or what they think. I remember once how my dad said not to get depression, as if it is something I can control.ย  But right now with the way I feel and the way I am writing, I feel like I am going into depression. My friends always see me as someone so happy and joyful. I like keeping that image in front of them. I am also one of the oldest in my friend group so that's another reason why I don't usually share anything mentally exhausting to them. They are equivalent to my sister and I would rather help them and see them happy than see myself like that. Since joining this app, I made one friend who I take like a pen pal. This person takes things off my mind and it is my mission to text at least one hello to them everyday. It makes me look forward to another day.

I hope you get better as well and have the courage to face your problems. There is a whole community here to support you :)

3 replies
Zae1 OP November 4th

@brownturkey2009

Hello ๐Ÿ˜ธ

Don't worry. It's normal to be afraid to talk to your parents. It's happened to me too.

If you don't want to talk to them, that's fine. But you have to worry about yourself too.If you don't want to talk to your friends, that's fine. But find another way to distract yourself or vent. Please take care of yourself :(

Your parents may not know what it means to have depression and maybe that's why they say those things. Don't worry.

I'm glad this app has helped you a lot. And I hope it continues like this ^^ good luck and go on, you can do it

2 replies
brownturkey2009 November 4th

@Zae1

You can do it too! Thank you for always putting the effort in to reply to everyone! You really are amazing and have a kind heart. I hope a lot of people can see that :D

1 reply
Zae1 OP November 4th

@brownturkey2009

Hii

It's nothing out of the ordinary. It's nice to see people writing here from time to time.

Anything you need you can write here.

Take care of yourself ๐Ÿ˜ธ

load more
load more
load more
load more
load more
load more
load more
asmileThatyoudream99 November 4th

taking a step back won't hurt you dear. Take a few step back and then fight again. Show the world how strong you are. Good day and have a nice long sweet sleep.

1 reply
Zae1 OP November 4th

Hello @asmileThatyoudream99

How are you?

Thank you for your beautiful words. Really.


I hope so. Because I really feel neutral about everything and I'm just existing. I give up on my old tastes ๐Ÿ˜ž

load more