I'm so hopeless, I don't know what to do
Hi everyone, I hope you're all doing well, anyone reading this. It's my first post here so I'm a little anxious.
I would like to share a little of how I feel.
I won't share much of my personal information, but I am a girl. I'm in my second semester of college, and so far I'm doing very well.
The thing is, about 5 years ago I started to develop low self-esteem. But it's something I was able to control. But over time, everything got worse. I looked for support from my friends and other people and those things.
Everything was going well. But about 4-5 months ago I started to suffer from something similar to anhedonia. My life has always been one of constant stress because of the fear of disappointing my parents with my grades. I developed gastritis at an early age.Well, getting back to the topic of my supposed anhedonia, I feel weird. I'm being honest. I feel bad and very weird.Before, (I mean about a year),I was a very compassionate and emotional person. I spent a lot of time playing my favorite video games and characters, enjoying my hobbies and spending time with my friends. A lot.I have always been a good student, daughter, and daugther. I was passionate about mysterious things and magical, medieval vibes.I had a talent. Yes, I did. I loved drawing since I was little. I have an art account on ***, but I haven't posted anything there for a month.I feel hopeless. For a couple of years now I guess I really was suffering from depression.
Nothing matters to me. I stopped talking to many friends. I have a void in my chest. I can't cry the way I'd like to. I've never been completely happy for long in my life. I'm always going from here to there. I've always felt like I'm weird. I'm not happy with myself. The last few months have been about getting through my day to day life.
I have a music playlist. I loved that music and it made me feel things and feel good, wanting to fight for my passions.
But now I don't feel anything. I listen to them and I don't feel anything. I've been looking into this a lot and I think it's "emotional burnout".
But I'm not interested. I don't want to go outside.
I miss how I used to feel. With my tastes and my passions and the things I loved.
I used to have a lot of projects with my art and stuff like that.
I've tried to convince myself that I'm supposed to grow up.
But adults are also happy and feel things, right?
I guess I've ruined my life with my pessimism. I'll never feel anything again, I think.All my pleasures for which I fought three years are not worth it.I have been looking for new interests in case you are wondering. Yes, this year I discovered a sport that I love and that did not affect my other interests. But now I no longer feel that spark when I watch my favorite sports.
I can't really talk to my parents for help right now because they are in a difficult situation with their jobs. And I can't get a therapist at the moment...
I miss my video games, talking to my friends, enjoying my art and my favorite characters.I miss my emotions.
I miss being sentimental.. I miss everything. And I blame myself every day.. it's hard to cope with all this.. for all these years.. All these four years of holding on and thinking that the next day will be better. All those nights I cried because I wished I wasn't here.All these years doubting everything.
I've been miserable.I'm the oldest sister, so I don't want my little brother to go through what I've been going through. My chest hurts. I feel lost. I feel bad.I don't care about myself. I miss everything.
That's all.I don't feel well enough to give more details. I'm sorry if you read all this and thank you for reading it. Thank you for your patience and your valuable time.I would appreciate if anyone could leave a comment if they could. Just wanted to share this. Thanks
and have a nice day.
@Zae1
Hi! As for me, in your message there was nothing to apologize for. It is sad to hear about the pain and confusion you are going through, and how much depressed you feel. Almost a heartbreaking experience for me, being a father of two teenagers.
From the words you have written I can see a picture of a nice and valuable young woman: thoughtful, very sensitive, skilled in arts, kind-hearted, having lots of passions. It seems you are a also very responsible member of the family, really concerned about the emotional state of your parents and brother.
You say you are not feeling anything, but you say you miss so many things, so... you feel. I believe you may feel much more than average people can, what makes your sensitivity level out of this world - in a very positive sense 💜
The person may be a little bit hidden inside now, but I believe she is still there.
Would you like to share with us what important things in your life happened those 5 years and 5 months ago?
You also seem to have very high expectations to yourself. Struggling for As and Bs - I still remember from my school time how mentally exhausting and emotionally draining that can be. What would you say, if you could have not top, but still good grades, and could feel a bit happier in return?
If I had a daughter like you, I would be proud of her 💜
Good afternoon to you
Thank you for your kind words. I hope you are well too! I am sure you are a good and excellent father. Being a father these days is complicated.
Well, it's just that because of the pandemic and stuff like that I started to develop low self-esteem. That's the thing. That's all. Maybe my parents noticed them, they helped me a little. But the problem is in myself.I've always been a pessimist since I was a young age. I'm afraid of many things.. there are many things I'd like to do. But I don't feel like I used to..Sometimes I think I'm just exaggerating..I miss feeling my emotions deeply. I've been disconnected from many things for almost two months. I miss my passions, or I don't know. I don't know if I really miss that.I don't know what I really have... this emptiness started out of nowhere about five months ago, I was a little stressed and out of nowhere I slowly started to stop feeling my emotions like I used to.. that's all.Thank you for your reply. Thank you so much for your helpful words. May God bless you and your family. Take care, really
Hi again, let me know if my answers are uploaded. The answers I'm making aren't showing up😿Thank you very much in advance for taking your time.
@Zae1
Yes, sorry for the belated response - your answers are showing up. However, when you delete the @+username sequence at the top of your reply, the poster is not notified about your message. I didn't know it at the beginning, too 😊
As for being pessimistic, I've heard that most of the time pessimism is closer to the reality than optimism, so it is actually protecting us from many disappointments, especially while we feel sensitive and vulnerable. However, I believe it should not make us blind to good things which are happening 😊
I am not sure what to think about how you were feeling. Maybe it is some kind of depression induced by the pandemic restrictions and resulting social isolation? Or maybe you are just going through the gate between being a teenager and becoming an adult person, with a very mature way of thinking?
I wonder what you think about it. And I hope if the joy of discovering the positive side of things, curiosity of the world and loving your life will soon be back to you and stay with you forever 👍
Do you care about your taking a proper rest? I mean when you are studying hard, do you have one or two days in a week off, to rebuild you powers? Just by some nice time outdoors, meeting your friends or pursuing your passions and hobbies?
@jacek73
Hi again, sorry about that, I don't know how to use the @ here
Thanks for your comment again.
The truth is I don't even know what I have at this moment... as I said in previous comments, I isolated myself a lot from social networks and my friends... yesterday I went out with my family but it didn't help me feel a bit better..
I know it's important to have a process to start being an adult, but I know that adults also have feelings and stuff. So I ask you if I really feel something right now?If I really have a severe depression because of everything that has happened in these years or I am just growing up m
I haven't played my favorite video game for over a month. I tried to get back into drawing but it's not the same. I've tried to find new things to do but I don't feel as confident with it as I did with my previous tastes.
So I don't know. I don't have any mood in my mind to think good or bad things about this situation. I just feel my life different and a little sad than before.
Take care of yourself. I hope you are well and I hope you have an amazing start to the month. Thank you for your patience🫂
@jacek73
Sorry, I forgot to put this in the previous comment.
Yes, I have frequently taken breaks from my responsibilities, since sometimes doing homework distracts me from my thoughts or emotions and that is sometimes good for me.
I started feeling bad right after the pandemic started, with worries and a bit of low self-esteem. Then I think the stress centered on those things and my studies and all that.
Do you really think all the stress and worries and overthinking of the past few years has brought me to this point?
I really don't know what I have. It worries me a little, even though I don't feel the sensation or feeling of someone who worries.
I just feel like the way I felt before, even at the beginning of this year, it was just a dream...
And I don't know what to do
@Zae1
I am a trained active listener here, and not a professional therapist, so these are as many as two reasons to not give you any specific advice, because that could be harmful. The third reason is: you are the best expert on your life.
However, if you asked me how I see it:
The way you feel can be a mild depression - a state, which is actually a problem within the chemistry levels in the brain. It may come with or without a reason. But only a professional could tell you if this is the case.
I believe it could be good for you to talk to a psychologist, just to check and feel safe. I know you said your family may have some urgent matters. Nevertheless, I believe your health is very important, and you might consider telling your parents about your difficulties.
It can be a pain of growing up. Also changes in the environment and taking on new, serious responsibilities. I know from my experience how stressful studying can be, especially when you or your family go through some other difficulties at the same time.
Also your being a highly sensitive person - or, like some people say "an experienced soul" - might add to the mixture.
That may be a correct explanation, or not, but first of all, please, remember that you are a valuable person. You have the right to be happy. And life is changing constantly, even if the current situation may look not too good. As in the title of an old novel: 'Wait, some light will come, wait, it will clear up" 😊
@jacek73
Hii, thank you.
I feel confused right now and I don't really know what to do.. last night I couldn't sleep well thinking.
How are you today?
The truth is I think it is necessary to get therapy with someone... I will see what I can do, since where I live there are no such services because I do not live in a city, but in a town.
But that doesn't matter. Thank you again for your wise words.
@Zae1
I feel the same. I used to have a passion for hobbies, art, music and academics back then, but nowadays I sometimes look back and question if I was ever truly happy. It's not that stuff is unenjoyable but it's most that as we get older stuff just feels harder to enjoy anything, to pursue something or return to something. Lately, I felt that my past hobbies and academics were inconsequential, I seldom shared my hobbies and art with others or opened up to many people previously and my parents were not exempt making it hard to think. I feel people like us are more common than we think, humble, passionate people at the start when we were younger, slowly burning out because nothing feels rewarding or meaningful like it used to or maybe it felt like continuing something is meaningless because we will be judged for "wasting our time". When you pair this with the expectation of becoming "adults" it becomes crushing to think about. The best motivator for me was having someone I wanted to do something alongside or being open to, even if it was something I previously disliked like story writing. This led me to want to improve, to want to try getting better at something which was how I also got into a sport I didn't expect to, and then that led me to form a new friend group I grew attached to. I can't provide/don't believe you are here for an answer to hopelessness because you appear self-aware and there is likely a deeper reason why you or me feel awful. But I can assure you you'll get through it, because someone else is trying to get through it too. P.S I'd also love to see your art I'm new here and I'm not aware of the guidelines but I'm a sucker for old medieval and renaissance art!
Hello, I hope you are well
Thank you for sharing your message. I am so sorry you feel almost the same way.I'll try to get back to my art later! So far I've only drawn a few favorite characters. When I get back and fix it I can post it here.(if I get motivated to draw something yk)
I'm glad you're trying. That's being a very strong person and it makes me feel good for you. I hope you succeed. Thank you for your lovely messages, really. Take care of yourself and good luck out there 😺
@Zae1
Yes, I am doing well just a little tired right now. Recently I was told that I needed to "eat the frog" more. I'm glad to hear that you're slowly starting to get back into something you enjoy, with art, currently one of my biggest hurdles as a hobby artist is picking good-looking colours.
I appreciate the sentiment, I hope the message didn't come off as too standoffish. I've been told I can be unnecessarily analytical at times. From my perspective, you are also strong for posting in the first place and being honest about your problem. Whenever you feel better, feel free to chat with me. I'd love to hear from you again. Take care.
Hello again, how are you?
I hope you have luck with whatever you do. Take care of yourself.What did you do today?
Thanks again for commenting.
@Zae1
It's lovely to hear from you so quickly, I'm quite flattered actually. I had an early start to the morning so I hadn't gotten as much sleep as I wanted. I had a few things I had previously pushed aside that I finally got towards doing (mainly paperwork) hence "eating the frog". How about you? I hope everything is going well with you too.
Hello again
I'm going to start the day too. A bit exhausted as always... trying to see how I can improve my situation. I'll go do some homework today. And you? Thanks for writing.Good luck😺
@Zae1
Thank you I've been fairly occupied with a few assignments I need to have done, very soon. Feeling exhausted is awful, I've been told that drinking coffee would help but for the sake of my health, I usually avoid things like that and energy drinks as well unless it's a social thing though my taste buds tend to lean on the sweeter side ( you can't imagine how uncomfortable I felt after having an energy drink and feeling awake for the first time).
I hope the homework wasn't too taxing. I am in a situation where I have exams. I still have many "frogs to eat," so I've also been studying and occasionally procrastinating from time to time. You previously said you drew characters, right? I'd love to hear who and where they're from. It could also provide me with some good stimulus for something to draw during my downtime (which may or may not be caused by procrastination).
Hello @sunnyLake7661 😌
Energy drinks are often a dilemma. They can do a lot of harm to the body..What matters is that you do what you think is good and healthy for you.
I usually drink coffee in the mornings. Just that, a small glass for breakfast for my parents.
Don't worry, the task is not that difficult.
Ah, I used to draw video game characters, for example, I used to draw characters from Brawl Stars or Genshin Impact, or some other fandom of my friends or anime characters.I used to watch a lot of anime, but now it doesn't interest me anymore either. Or else I usually doodle cats.
I hope you have a nice day. Take care of yourself and good luck with everything you have to do
@Zae1
I used to enjoy Genshin a fair bit but stopped after Inazuma since the game grew stale and I generally had less time to play. I think I have a drawing I did of Ayaka since she had one of my favourite designs next to Kujou Sara. I'll try and look for it and if it's not quite the quality I like I might just redraw it as well.
I don't mind coffee in sweets like tiramisu, when I went to Vietnam once they had a local snack/drink called egg coffee which was good despite going during the rainy season (it was dang hot when I went as well). It's a shame I can't make you one, I would love to if I had the chance.
Nice to meet you Zae. I have low self esteem as well and writing and music help me, Many times I will put on Spotify when I write and it helps. Feel free to chat if you want to talk.
Nice to meet you too, wjglory
I hope you are well. Thanks for writing. What do you like to write about? Do you write about your feelings or things you see?I used to like poetry.
Please take care of yourself. Good luck with your writing
@Zae1 I wrote two screenplays about a vampire who becomes human and the book I am working on now is based on a place I used to work for. You take care of yourself as well I am going to get back to writing :)
Hii, that sounds interesting.
I wish you the best of luck with that. Have you ever thought about publishing a book?
I hope you have a nice day.
@Zae1 I actually have two books published and working on the third as we speak. I also wanted to tell you Happy Saturday and hope you have a great day. :)
Helloo @wjglory
I'm glad!
Good luck with your books. They are surely a work of art. Take good care of yourself too.
@Zae1 Thank you had a good day today went to a service for a former coworker, it was the first time I went to my old job since I walked out. Everyone there was nice and wanted me to return. That actually felt good.
Zae, everyone else is saying helpful and true words. Let me just add 2 things:
1. Those feelings you describe, feeling hopeless and empty, and your lack of interest in things that used to motivate and inspire you? You probably know this, but those are symptoms of depression. I noticed you have a lot of guilt you're carrying. You're turning it in on yourself and blaming yourself for these patterns. But this isn't you. Depression is something that gives hopelessness and steals passion. You can see it because before depression, your hope and passion were obvious. Now you can't see them, but just like you wouldn't blame your brother for blowing his nose and sneezing if he had a cold, you aren't to blame for showing signs of the thing that's hurting you.
2. Writing all you did and posting it... you're a brave person and you are strong and you are more than what you see right now.
Thank you for giving us the honor of a piece of your story.
Hello
Thank you for writing and taking your time. I appreciate your words.
I'll try to keep that in mind. I just don't have enough energy for now. That's all.Thanks again. Take care of yourself too. Take care and thanks for the support. If you need anything you can also write🫂
Hi zae :)
you seem like such a cool and creative person, I know this moment is difficult and it has been for a while, but this too shall pass. It’s difficult to see how things can possibly be better when you’re in a state of depression, however, they can be!! Sometimes narrowing in on what in particular is bothering you and breaking that down can be really helpful. for example let’s say that I’m unemployed, my car broke down, and I failed a final exam…. This didn’t happen but let’s just say that all of these things happened at once and I was your friend. What would you say to that friend? Would you be hard on them and tell them that they should give up and that they suck? Nooooooo. You would tell them probably something along these lines “ oh my gosh I am so sorry that this happened to you it’s a bout of bad luck and it’s nothing at all to do with you, and I’m here for you.”
with something challenging it’s ok to ask your friends or family or even a stranger for help! As daunting as it seems One problem becomes less and less when you work through it slowly and you can do it at your own pace, one step is better than no step.
As difficult as it is, show yourself one act of self love everyday :) it is like training a muscle it is really hard at first, but it gets easier everytime. Even if you miss a day that’s alright and just try again the next day. I promise you it gets easier and easier and easier. The app finch is so fantastic, and keeps me grounded day by day
sometimes life is really *** hard even if nothing actually goes wrong it just is! There are good days and there are bad days, sometimes the label of “depression” can be soothing and sometimes it can be a crutch to stop loving yourself. Notice how you feel when you label yourself as depressed if it helps you fantastic and if it not no need to label yourself as that and identify with a temporary experience.
I believe in you :) baby steps is all we can do
Hello, thank you very much for your comment and taking the time to read and write. I hope you are well.I will take your nice comment into account, but sometimes it is not easy. Every day I spend my days a bit confused..But thanks for your words.. I'll try to see what I can do. Thanks. Have a nice day and take care.
@Zae1 I understand, but it seems like you've lost hope.
Have you?
Hello, a bit
I still wonder if I really have emotions, you know?Yesterday I had to go out a little and seeing happy people on the street made me question many things..It's even exhausting to think of good things as bad things about myself.
I haven't played a video game I once loved in a month.I haven't used social media for a month. I haven't felt any excitement for a couple of months.I don't feel passionate about anything. I don't feel any excitement when watching my favorite sports.
But I've been able to get through the days without doing anything bad to myself. Don't worry. Thanks for commenting and taking the time to read.I hope you have a wonderful day. Take care
@Zae1
Pray
@exuberantNorth9257
Hello
Thank you. I've been trying lately and I've been feeling too tired and frustrated not feeling God's help. But I'll keep trying. Thank you for reminding me.
@Zae1 Hope today is a better day for you been a little stressed myself but I am doing my best to keep looking forward.
@wjglory
Hello again
How are you? I've just spent the whole morning helping around the house. I'm a little confused because I don't know how I feel and I don't know what to do.I feel like my life has lost its direction a bit.I'll go distract myself by cooking my lunch while my mom arrives.
Take care of yourself. It's good to know that you're trying hard, take care of yourself and have a nice day.
@Zae1
"I'm a little confused because I don't know how I feel and I don't know what to do.I feel like my life has lost its direction a bit."
Actually, I think some sensitive and thoughtful people ask themselves such questions every morning. You suddenly awake, knowing that your life expectancy is minus one day again, and wondering what would be the best use of the new day that was given to you...
But when you start finding answers by yourself, it can be a satisfying, rewarding and soothing experience 😊
A flower might be not aware of its own existence. A human is. But they both aim to grow. I keep my fingers crossed for you, because you have beauty in your soul.
@jacek73
Thank you for your comment. How are you?
Thanks again for your comments every now and then.I'll take what you say into account, but it's still very difficult.You know, I think my biggest problem or concern right now is with my relationship with my tastes/hobbies.
I think that's what's affecting me the most. The fact that I don't feel interested in new things or in the things that I used to love so much.. in my hobbies or interests that distracted me daily and made me feel better as a person... the fact of being confused and such things is what eats my mind all these days.
Zae,
I feel I might be able to relate. I alternate between depression and feeling like a disappointment to everyone and periods of feeling nothing at all. Sometimes, I don't know what is worse.
I don't have any solution for you. I'm sorry. But at least you're not alone?
Hello @GingerCapybara1911
How are you?
Don't worry if you don't have help. I'm not forcing you to help me or write.It's good to see what you write.
Have you been able to find something to make you feel better?
And no, I'm not alone, I guess you know.. Take care of yourself. Please have a nice day. Thank you for being here.
@Zae1
Hello Zae1!!(:
Welcome to the forum it's nice to have you here 🤗 You're really strong for finding the courage to share your feelings despite your anxiety.
You can be proud of it especially since it's your first post 🐱
I skimmed through your other replies real quick and you've questioned multiple times if you have emotions or mentioned that you don't feel anything lately (including this post) but speaking of anxiety isn't that a strong feeling? Probably not the most pleasant of feelings but nonetheless you feel that way. I'm sure you're still having a lot of strong feelings it's just that it seems they unfortunately changed for the "worse". You said that you feel bad and you feel worse. That's so many feelings already. You even miss how you used to feel... You're still feeling all the time. I'm sorry you have to go through so much a emotional pain right now :/
As one person here has already mentioned it really looks like a form of depression.
I'm by no means an expert on that matter either but if I had to guess to me it sounds like something in this direction.
It'd be really important to talk to a professional about your whole situation as soon as you're able to so they could assess where you're at right now and prevent it from worsening. I know you said you don't have the financial means right now but just saying it'd be of great importance to see a therapist as soon as you can afford one.
If you really can't afford anyone don't worry there's also a way out without one. In fact there's always a way out so don't give up.
Do you have maybe any idea why you started developing that low self-esteem 5 years ago? Was it because of your parents high expectations?
What I think is that all those different things you experienced during the last years contributed to your supposed "anhedonia" you're experiencing right now. Things like that low self-esteem, your parents having high expectations, maybe you going to college and a new unfamiliar surrounding subconsciously contributed to it, you being scared your little brother might go through the same problems etc. and at some point it was just too much for you... Again I'm not an expert on this it's just my thoughts since you asked for a comment:)
Apparently it's not true that nothing matters to you. For example your little brother does matter to you. You're really kind and full of feelings 🤗 It was just too much for you lately. Everyone has a limit.
You've mentioned you've looked for support from your friends. How did that go? Also why did you stop talking to your friends? Do you find joy in going to college since you're doing so well there?
Don't give up. I hope you get well soon 😊
Hello @SunShinepress 😺
How are you?
First of all, thank you for writing. I'm still new to this app and I don't really know how to use it properly, but I'm surprised to see all the good comments people have here.
I don't know if I actually feel any anxiety now, I just feel like I'm not like I used to be.
I will try to talk to someone who can help me access therapy. But at the moment I can't.
I think my low self-esteem has always been present in my life because in elementary school some of my classmates tried to bully me.But it all started around the pandemic, I started to feel bad about myself.
I've been trying to look up anhedonia to see how I can start feeling better, but to be honest,I don't understand how I feel and I don't know why I can't wrap my head around the fact that I might have a problem.
Thanks again for commenting.
Regarding my friends, I stopped talking to some and only left the "closest" ones.I just didn't want to bother them. But for now they have been a little worried.
Regarding my university, sometimes I go in person and other times I have virtual activities. So there is no problem with my studies. I am quite responsible about it.
Thank you, take care of yourself too. Have a nice day
@Zae1
I'm okay I guess. It's really nice of you to ask. Thank you 🐱
Great that you're positively surprised with 7 cups haha 😸
It's understandable that being bullied can have a long lasting effect 🙄 Thanks for sharing.
Understanding what you feel might take time. It’s okay not to have everything figured out right now. Sometimes talking helps especially with those closer fiends you've mentioned as they know you better than anyone on here and maybe they could help you understand yourself again/ find the part of yourself that you've lost.
You're welcome that's what I'm here for.
As a friend I'd be worried about you too :/ You seem to have caring friends and I think talking to them might actually calm them down a little since they'll understand why you're behaving the way you're right now and give them somewhat peace of mind in case they were overthinking.
At least that's how I'd feel having a best friend that has changed over time. I'd want them to share their thoughts with me so I could maybe try and help them out with their issue.
Have a nice day as well 🐾
Hii @SunShinepress
Thanks for your comment. Have a nice day too..I'll try to talk more with my friends thenð¥°
@Zae1
I think you should try that if you're comfortable enough 🐱 Obviously feel free to reach out to people here on 7cups as well.
My thought was just that those close friends that already know you might work miracles like a therapy 🤗
Hey @Zae1,
I am a quite hypersensitive person. Have gone through many very emotional/semi-exhausting states in my life (also many great ones, but sometimes brain gets tired). So in my mid-20s I started having insomnia during a difficult period, finally after a few months went to a psychologist and got a prescription for a small dose of mild antidepressant. It helped me very fast to feel better (then under supervision of a paychologist) - after maybe 4-5 months i got of it without problem. Recently - mid-thirties - again kind of intense period that ended similarly with feeling somewhat numb. I started taking same medicine and talking to a doctor - again made me feel better and more like myself after a couple months. Definitely look into at least talking to your doctor - the psychologist/psychiatrist system differs between countries, but a generalist should be able to recommend something and like others said - it's important to take care of yourself. Sometimes things like sports can help to give your brain extra endorphins - they say your body needs both cardio and strength excersizes, but some conditions require external medicinal help (under supervision) and that's ok. Hopefully - if your condition doesn't go away soon, you can find a way to a specialist.
Hi @Somethingdk
How are you? Thanks for commenting
I'm so sorry you went through those things :(
How do you feel now?
I'll try to do my best. But first I think I need to be okay with myself and understand what I really have or what I feel.But I do think I need to seek help soon. Thank you for your words, you are strong too. I wish the best for you.