We met on 23th April. His name is Christopher but I did call him Chris. Everything was virtual, and a lot of people dont understand how we can fall for someone virtually. Well, I would say its the souls who fall in love, because when you virtually text with someone, it is the souls who talk and express themselves. We met on a site in which I made a post about how lonely I felt. Quickly he sent me a message :
‘You are in good company. Most of us crave hugs and affection. You will find people in your life who will be there for you and fulfill your needs for hugs and affection:). Don't feel burdened by it. It's a great way to be!
This is how it started. We talked almost daily and ended up falling for each other. He is the first person ever who understood me, got me and was fascinating by every piece of my mind. I loved his mind too, he always had the right words for everything, he was caring, playful, a bit cheeky, fun, smart, MY mister perfect ! Or almost, there are two things that were scaring us : our Geography and ou rage gap. He lives in America, I live in Europe. He talks English, I talk French. And finally he is 39, I am 19. Now please avoid every stereotype about the older guy just wanting a younger girl, I mean, obviously it was a plus for him but he has always been concerned about me and encouraged me to find someone my age. He felt guilty about wanting me and repeated me that it was unfair for me and that the age will seriously impact me in the future. Beside, he has no child and it was the right time for him to have some, I am just 19 and it is way too early for me, and I still havent finished my studies. But you know what ? It didnt matter, it doesnt matter, because I feel like he is the one, I cant even explain the way we connect, Ive never met anyone like this before and I love him, everything about him and I am ready to take the risk. We talked about a future together : the place we would live, the names of our children, the fact we wanted to adopt one, the things we wanted to do and we discussed a lot of things deeply, like I never did with anyone before.
6th August, our last talk. His last connection.
I sent him a mail. No reply. I sent a message to his niece with who I talked a few monthes ago. After a week she replied.
She explained me he had a car accident. He was unconscious at hospital with no more mental activity. That is the last time I heard from her, it was exactly a week ago.
I feel sad and broken and like a part of me totally collapsed. I feel so misunderstood and I need him so much, I love him, I am madly in love with him and I am feeling so horrible for not being over there, for not being able to see or touch him, for not being able to help him whereas he always had been there for me. I wish he just knew how much I love him. I miss you terribly Christopher.
@lovingPine3496