I wish I could tell everybody that...
@mylifeaseva i wish that my "friends" knew, that when they hit me, or say mean comments about my weight, or steal my things, or use me to complete their homeworks, it hurts.
I feel like the thing i want people to know can't really be put into words. It's more of a feeling.
@yellowIdea9404
I totally get that. I don't want to have to have to explain everything all over again to someone new and I don't want to have to jusify my actions or feeling or thoughts. I know I am not perfect but I want someone, even if it is just one person for just one day, to get who I am on a deeper level. Someone to gets WHO I am not WHAT I am or WHY I am the the way that I am or what made me that way that I am but WHO I am regardless of circumstance. I don't even need them to love what they see I just want them to see me for all of my horable, wonderful, contradictorry, infanitly comfusing self. I want someone to know me in a vacume, as a stand alown, betteries sonld seperatly, no strings atached, humanbeing. For just one moment, one breath, one blink of an eye, or beat of a heart I want to know that someone to just know me.
(sorry that was weird, I know.)
@mylifeaseva I love him but i hate him. he makes me cry but i can't leave him. i wish i could tell people that.
I wish I could tell everybody that I have been through so much that it feels like there are no tears left to shed. That there is no more room for new scars on my heart. That some who knows me they find them asking How in after giving his heart to so many to be trampled on still offers it to everybody? That I do not know. But I feel it becoming more hardened against my desire. I see people becoming animals and that they are not people. I feel angry, scared and confused and yet I am still holding on to a hope that seems like it does not exist. I wish I could tell everybody....do not ignore anyone. That everyone has a need. To try to be that need because you'll save a life.
That I am done with houses and countries and I just want to go home 
. The problem is that I do not know where that is.... I feel so lost.
Sometimes, it feels like all my stuffing has come out and I don't know how to put it back in again.
I wish I could tell people I am bi. I wish I could tell people bout my wonderful girlfriend. I wish I wish I could tell people who I really am and not the fake mask I put on. i wish I could tell people that what they say bout my scars hurt me much more than the scars ever did.
Masturbation is totally ok and healthy
@mylifeaseva that I'm terrified of being left alone and forgotten..
I may walk around with a smile on my face, but I cry all to often when I'm alone - I am constantly second guessing every decision I make.
